Disorganized

This morning I filled out Hyia's summer school form, put it with the report card envelope. I just found both sitting on her desk. She came back in after heading for the bus stop to retrieve the homework she forgot yesterday. THe one I told her to put in her planner and instead she put it inside of her desk. SHe went right to her desk and yet did not see the planner or the envelop right on top. HEr teacher says she has problems with organization. So do I, in capitals.



So how does a person who has already lost the census form, can't find 2/3 of anything important half the time, make sure a child that is just as disorganized gets over it. I haven't been able to in 40 years. I get the bills paid, sometimes late but they dont' get shut off. I have the same wallet for the last 20 years even tho I have lost it a half dozen times. I can't handle 2 sets of keys. I can't manage a checking account, i am much much better off without one, and i don't dare have a credit card. I manage not to run out of gas in a car with a faulty gas gauge (it goes backwards after it gets down to a quarter tank) but for the most part i am a wreck. I don't want her to be wreck because of my influence.

Just having a hard time is all and don't know what to do about it. My disease has made any thing I struggled with mentally a billion times worse.

The best thing i have ever done for her is getting her out of that school she was in and into this district. Everything scholastically for her is much better. From her handwriting down to what she talks about when she comes home.

coming from someone who is also SERIOUSLY disorganized... I'm not sure it's something you can "train out" of someone lol.

I've tried... I've REALLY tried to be more organized but I just can't.

BUT that being said... just because my house is extremely disorganized does NOT mean I don't know where everything is Brian will come in and ask me where something is. I will reach into the mess and pull out what he was looking for lol

My report cards all through school ALWAYS mentioned that I kept a messy and disorganized work area lol

Easy to do when your mind is busy on other things !

This move has just taken the stuffing out of me. IT's been a month and I have not gained back what little I had before it happened. I don't know who needs to take the rap for this morning..is it me for not making sure it wasn't in her backpack ready to go, or is it her at 10 for being handed the stuff and not putting it where she was told to put it? She set it down, got distracted and forgot to finish. Which is pretty much the norm. Once I tell her to i assume it is done. I desperately need for her to step up but that isnt' fair to her for I need her to do it because I do not feel well enough to be on top of everything. I thought about driving it to her school which is a long freaking way from here, but then I thought if she gets in trouble for not having it, maybe that will do more good than my driving it there. Bet her name is on the board today. Something her teacher said she did not ever want to see again.

I am still felling like an idiot because the only area she needed to work on according to her report card was fluent computations. I had no idea what that was. once I found out that didn't surprise me. I suck at it too. Sighs.

Awww smkie don't beat yourself up over this. I am a very disorganized person but I have a couple things that I am very organized about. One is bill paying. I have a bill box hanging on the wall next to the front door and ALL bills go in the bill box. I have a key hook right next to the bill box and every day my keys get hung on the key hook. And I have a filing cabinet that things get put in and (mostly ) filed. My (rambling) point is that maybe you guys need to have a system but ONLY for important things? I find it's easier to organize one or two things than everything. Regardless, from your posts about Hyia it's obvious that you love her dearly and you're doing a good job of raising her. I really really wouldn't beat yourself up about this.

Can you make a check list for her to go over every morning? 5 minutes to do a backpack check (in front of you!) and check off the items seems like it might be beneficial. There'd be the standard "lunch, homework, jacket, etc" and then the night before you could write down extra stuff as it came up--the report card, any special forms, etc.

Dunno, just an idea. I live off lists--there is a permanent "to do" list sitting on my night stand, because i always think of things right as I'm going to bed and add them to the list!

WE will give it a go. She can be a list girl. She could get in to that.

i am just tired and weary and everything seems impossible today. THanks ..I think I am just not thinking at all.

I wish she had two vibrant young parents who were dedicated to her success and had all the energy she should have poured her direction. Not a worn out ill woman who slugs her way through the day waiting for it to be over so she can go back to bed. I saw her planner this morning and just thought sh1t..i messed her up again.

I think first stop is the "a place for everything and everything in its place" rule.

I wasnt always organized. its something I had to LEARN..Im naturally kind of a chaotic mess lol

the BEST way to make sure you follow a rule like that is...
1. make the "spot" for something convenient and accessible.
2. find a CUTE/FUN container and you and hyia will be more likely to use it!

Walmart, Bed bad & Beyond, the container store.. ALL GREAT PLACES to find containers/hangers


here are a few ORGANIZED ESSENTIALS!! (in my opinion...)

1. THE WALL KEY HANGER! put it by the front door!

these are the ones I have, they make "adult" looking plain ones. but I am more likely to use things if they are cute


its ABOUT MUSCLE MEMORY! Walk in.. Hang keys.

2. The cell phone/wallet BASKET... I like one like this with holes because then I can plug the charger behind the table its on and loop the cord INTO the basket. It encourages me to kEEP MY PHONE IN THERE!


Keep it by the front door. this kind of thing is GREAT because in a rush, everything you REALLY need is all in one place. Cell phone/wallet in basket/ and car keys hung up, all right by the door where you come/go

3. The binder. GREAT FOR BOTH OF YOU!

Now.. heres mine.

once again, if its pretty.. Im more likely to USE IT! lol

Inside there should be tabs.

For Hyia, good ones should be:
- home work
- paper
- one for each class
- Things to do

for YOU:
- Personal
- Bills
- Important documents
-IN CASE OF EMERGENCY INFORMATION

BINDERS ARE GREAT! they keep everything together, safe and protected!

4. The agenda. I am an agenda person, I wasnt always.. but once you start and learn how GREAT is it to have reminds and everything written down... you become an agenda person lol

A GOOD agenda is something sturdy. LOTS of space for each day and a calendar. they are cheap and easy to find! Great for both you and hyia at school!

5. Cork/dry erase board!! put it in the kitchen where you will see it EVERY MORNING


its great for writing reminders, sticking papers that you need to see, etc..

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What my mom did was we would sit down every day and I would do homework and she would take care of "house stuff" at the kitchen table. both of our binders out. it was "our" time and it helped us get organized and bond at the same time!

Also, take Hyia to walmart and let her pick out her binder/agenda, or even grab the plane white ones with the plastic front and let her draw something really nice on paper to slide in the front to make it "hers".

Its the little things that add up to BIG changes.

Hope it helps!

THat is what her desk is suppose to be. It is a school desk, literally, a nice one. It has a space for her work. Only school related items go on it. THat is where they were, right there and we BOTH walked past it.

THe counselor gave her a great binder. She got called in (me too) after school where the teacher said now where is this paper, and where is that. She had to go retrieve it out of stacks of paper in her desk. She has been doing better, and there was a nice comment from the teacher about being proud of her. She..we just majorly slipped up the last two days.

Hahaha, oh Fran. You make me laugh.

I have a file. IT's the steps between from the mailbox which is down the street, to the car, to the house. Somewhere inbetween the bills slipped down the seat, i think i mailed them..and voila..I find them between the seat a week later. My disease calls it brain fog. Brain numb, brain dumb, i don't know but I do seriously stupid things anymore.

She will be good at lists. She likes to use paper like crazy so I think that will appeal to her. I will have her do a list each night and see if she can follow it in the morning. Mornings are of all the times, my worst. My pain level is through the roof at that time.

I watched Parenthood and thought OMG...can I really do that again? Teenage girls. I tell myself she won't be as hard as her mother was which is probably true. If I survived those years I ought to be able to do these even at half mast.

I agree with everything must have it's own place. I think you can change your behavior by breaking this seemingly over-whelming situation down into baby steps. Pick 4 or 5 areas that you want to tackle first or whatever you would find managable and relatively easy. Don't look at the whole picture of all the facets of your disorganization. Find a place, a bin or a shelf, drawer, whatever that it devoted to just one type of paperwork or whatever. As soon as you receive mail or some kind of stuff, whether it's paperwork or other kinds of items, don't just dump them in one place. Right away, look at the mail, divide it into junk that goes in the garbage and bills and things you want to look at, but not now. Each of those things has a spot and you put them in that spot right away. If you're like me and don't have much space for those special "spots," you may have to clear out some junk that you really don't need regularly, like....pick a day a week to do that de-cluttering. Anyhow, I go in spells where I'm fairly organized and then some times where I'm pathetically over-run with chaos. But I try to avoid that as much as possible because it causes more stress and work than it does to deal with stuff right away.

Labeling bins and such might be a good way too, to solidify it in your mind what these things are for. It might help remind you to take a look at the "out-going" bin for school work or whatever. A habit could be developed where that is part of the routine or ritual every morning for Hiya..to check her "bin" for anything she should take with her to school. "Did you brush your teeth? Did you change your socks? lol... Did you check your bin and pack your book bag?" In the afternoon after school, she could have a bin where "things to do" goes, like homework assignments that are due tomorrow, ones that are due in a week etc. (separate bins or baskets) First thing when she comes home before her snack or playtime, "Did you put your homework assignments in their proper bin? Did you hang up your school clothes? (whatever responsibilities she has at that time) Then she can have free time. (or however it is handled)

WE will read this thread together tonight. Thanks all.

Smkie, I think I've mentioned how 'organizationally challenged' Zac is.......Oy. He comes by it honest because Kevin is the exact same way. I am not the most organized, but I do make an effort to be. Kevin.........ack, lets move on to Zac, LOL

He is Hy's age, and a boy which usually compounds the problem, LOL. For kids, especially their age, one word is the most important of all. ROUTINE. Routine, routine, routine. There is no way to repeat it enough.

He gets in the door, we do his work, it goes into his planner-into his backpack-and then into his room ready for the next day. He gets up for school, gets ready, has some free time for the computer, eats his breakfast then goes to retrieve his jacket, backpack, and shoes from his room. This is Monday - Friday. If we deviate from that routine at all, it becomes a mess before the bus.

All the other suggestions in the thread are great, lists, everything in it's place, etc...........but what it comes down to: She should have a set time to do her school work, whatever time that works for you both, doesn't matter. Once that work is DONE and YOU see it's done.........it ALL gets packed away in her planner and backpack. Make a place for her backpack by the front door if you need to, but EVERYTHING should be packed in there BEFORE BED the night before. No exceptions..........when you start making exceptions things go to pot, LOL

WE were doing better until the field trip and the racoons No one has slept well this week.

. FOr me this school part is new. Well not brand new but repeat new if that makes sense. I am out of practice, i went through all this 20 years ago or so. We made it through somehow back then. Aaron did graduate. Jess got her Ged when she was 16 and had 2 semesters of college with good grades before she dropped.

GG did this part. I did hair, took care of shopping, getting her to school, bathing, providing clothes, and all transportation and entertainment. Mom fed her and handled schoolwork plus piano lessons if I got her there each day which i did. She also fed her one meal on occasion. It was a break for me and I took it in rest. High dose antibiotics for 3 years and all the effects of this disease make it really hard to do everyday normal stuff. Now Mom is too old to do what she handled and I have the full load. IT isn't an excuse, If i am the one to do the job then the job must be done.

I wish school could teach school and all i had to do was teach her to cook, clean, and care for herself..but that isn't the way it is. i feel like an idiot for not knowing what a fluent computation was.

I do believe she can put forth a bit more effort and she agrees. We have finally won the battle on the hair. For the most part she can wash it, and keep the tangles out of it. Horrrray! I knew she could do it if she wanted to bad enough. Mom did a lot of her that I won't do. I expect her to put her own clothes away and that has been a battle that has just recently improved. The nice clothes some of you sent made a real impact there about caring about what someone cared enough to give her. IT's all an adjustment. YOu would think we would be in sync with each other by now but not always.


I drove the stuff in to her school this afternoon. I felt it was as much my error as hers. Anyway the summer school paper had to be in today..i think. Dogs had a nice drive, saw baby goats, and calves, ducks flying through the air, farms, ponds, winding creeks and green fields. Sure is a different drive from the hobbit hole. Loads of traffic, air that smells like petroleum, boarded up businesses, too many people.

Just for the record, I have absolutely no idea what a fluent computation is and I graduated college last year....lol.

It sounds mathematical...and I'm in grad school to be a math teacher, and I have no idea what it is either!

That's what I was thinking. My ten year old cousin is doing either ladder or lattice (I couldn't really understand her) math right now and it really looks more complicated than it should be. I think they just like assigning fancy names to stuff to freak parents out.

LOL, It's just daily practice in basic mathematic skills. Adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing.........all the basics you would see on elementary flash cards.

They call it fluent computation, or computation fluency because they are striving to make the basics 'automatic' like you do with 'fluent' readers and the use of 'sight words' beginning in kindergarten It DOES sound scary or freaky to parents though, hahahaha

Ahhh! New math! I had to have a 3rd grade teacher show me the lattice method to multiply multi-digit numbers. Definitely not how I learned!

On the other hand, kids in South America or India learn to multiply/divide differently than kids here do...so long as you get the same answer, I'm not too concerned how you get there. Just don't expect me to teach it!