Promise Rings..

[jjsmom]

JJSMOM- Look above your post..lol

I don't mind that you think that way. People believe in different stuff right?

:lol-sign: Sorry about that iluvdogs! We must have been posting at the same time.. lol! Thank you (and to lubspaniel too) for explaining the significance for you. I agree.. every couple is different and it is a personal choice.

For my SO and I we just got engaged less than 2 weeks ago after being together for 12 ½ years. We have lived together for 12 of those years, raised his kids from his first marriage together and so for us, no promise ring was ever necessary. We both knew that neither of us was going anywhere and we were truly committed to one another. TBH, part of the reason we didn’t get married early on is because we had some issues within our relationship to work on and now those issues are resolved. To us being married though isn’t all that important and we decided to tie the know finally because several of our family members have been hoping for a wedding for years. Some of these members aren’t in good health and so we made the decision to make it “legal†so that they could see this happen in their lifetime. To us, it changes NOTHING about our relationship or our future together and we are treating our wedding as a “celebration†of our decade+ together and want the families to share in that celebration. We aren’t even registering for gifts or anything, cuz for us this is different than a normal “weddingâ€. We are at different places in our lives and in our life together as a couple than most folks who are “engagedâ€.

So again, to each his own and all that matters is what is important to the parties involved

 

[Boemy]

One of my friends got a promise ring from the guy because he was separated from his wife but still officially married to her. He did eventually get divorced and now they (him and my friend) are engaged for real.

 

[lubspaniel]

Incidentally, secondhand engagement rings / wedding rings are helluva cheap, so if someone wants to get engaged and doesn't have a lot of money for a ring . . . worth looking into, IMO. As long as it doesn't bother you that it used to be someone else's. It wouldn't bother me, but I know it would bug some people.

thats a good point, it didnt bother us! and we were told that buying a secondhand wedding ring would curse us some how? but we have been married for 10yrs now and going strong and the ring didnt affect us lol

 

[jjsmom]

Or find an independant jewler. There are jewlers in every city trying to make a living selling designs to these stores or to display galleries in hotels. They cost less to do and you can get something a bit more personalized.

I had Jenns ring made completely custom... however one of my oldest friends is a jewler so I got the friend discount, however I also know how much she would have charged had I not had it and it's still a fantastic deal compared to an equivalent you'd find in a big store.

darn... why couldn't I have learned this info a week ago before we finally decided on my ring...lol!

 

[jjsmom]

Boemy my engagement ring is from 1912 so there's no telling how many hands it graced LOL. There's a little inscription inside it, some intials and a heart...I think that's pretty sweet. My dress was also from that time period tho I ended up not wearing it because I was a bit errm...too pregnant to fit HAHA!

:lol-sign: :lol-sign: LMAO about the dress not fitting Gina! 1912 huh? Still got it? Wanna get rid of it? I am looking for a dress that at least gives the appearance of vinatge as we are getting married on a late 1800's ferry boat.

 

[96 GTS]

I can't honestly say I get promise rings either. It's not like engagement rings have to be super ultra mega expensive. You can get a really pretty engagement ring for less that $250..

To me a promise ring seems like an engagement ring, but not quite as much of a promise... Sort of a, "I'd like to get married to you someday, but I don't wanna get engaged just in case I chage my mind, but here's a promise anyway."

I dunno, I'd rather just get engaged.

I agree with SharkyX, too . It's the jewelry version of a Hallmark Holiday.

 

[Baxter'smybaby]

The origins of what we call a "promise ring" date back to ancient
times, when betrothals were a vital part of social life.

A betrothal was quite different from an engagement; it was, as far
back as Biblical times, a public announcement followed by a contract.
The contract was quite businesslike, covering financial arrangements
(information about the bride's dowry, and similar affairs). A
betrothal ceremony took place after the signing of the betrothal
contract. Once a betrothal was made, there was no backing out of the
marriage; betrothals were legally binding. The wedding often took
place months--and often years--after betrothal.

Part of the betrothal ceremony required that the soon-to-be-groom show
good faith by giving his soon-to-be-bride a betrothal ring; it was a
symbol of his promise to marry her.

Often these rings were plain. Gold was sometimes used, but often more
humble materials were favored. In ancient Rome, iron was preferred,
sometimes with attached house keys, showing the man's trust in his
future wife. But most betrothal rings were simple till about the
eighth century, when Jewish jewelry makers began creating elaborate
rings for the occasion (three-dimensional mini-temples and treasure
boxes with precious gems, for example). But these fanciful designs
didn't last for long...You can imagine how cumbersome such rings were
to wear!

The tradition of the gimmal ring also stems from betrothal ceremonies.
These are rings with usually two or three hoops that can be wore all
together, or separately. The style first became popular around the
16th century. At the betrothal, the bride-to-be took one hoop, and the
groom-to-be another. If there was a third hoop, it was given to a
witness until the time of the wedding ceremony. During the wedding
ceremony, the hoops were put back together into one ring and placed on
the bride's hand as her wedding ring. (In some cases, the groom kept
one hoop.) Another traditional betrothal ring is the claddgh ring;
this ring from Celtic history has style ring has two small hands
clasping a heart.

It wasn't until betrothal ceremonies became passe in the late 18th and
19th centuries that an engagement ring finally became *the* thing to
wear. The name "promise ring" (and the idea behind it) didn't come
about until recent years (in the 1990s). It is a custom mostly (but
not entirely) followed by Christians, and is a way for young couples
to promise that someday (usually at no set date), they will marry. A
promise ring usually assumes the marrige will take place over a year
from the time of giving. The promise ring comes before the engagement
ring, which is given when the couple is ready to begin planning their
wedding.

Much of this information comes from Arlene Hamilton Stewart's book "A
Bride's Book of Wedding Traditions" (Hearst Books, 1995). This book is
available in most book stores; here's a link to it's description on
amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/A...26414/sr=11-1/ref=sr_11_1/002-8014909-8660048

 

[Samantha's pet]

I've had 3 promise rings, lol. All were broken promises. Danny hasnt given me one b/c we think we are kinda too old for them. The ones I got were when I was tooooo young to be engaged but we had been together like 2 years and wanted it to be more serious. Danny and I have been together a year and after a another year or so when we want to make it more serious I guess he will just propose. No time for a promise ring this time. I think they are fun, though. I see nothing silly about them and I used to work with a guy who had a promise ring from his girl. It was a nice white gold band w/ a design engraved in it. I thought It was sweet but the guys made fun of him behind his back. Guys can be dumb, though. Who cares.

 

[ACooper]

I never quite understood the whole promise ring thing. I mean if you plan to be engaged to marry why not just do it. Engagement is a promise is it not ?

I can give an opinion on THAT one Aussie. Sometimes you aren't OLD enough to become engaged!! My son gave a promise ring to his girlfriend this past spring. He was 17 (now 18) and she is 16.......if it had been a real engagement ring it's hard to say who would have hit the roof first, her dad or ME.

As it is the ring is quite nice. White gold with a diamond.......but at least they call it a promise ring and NOT an engagement ring. That helps sooth us parents a little better

And to the OP.......I would think that a promise ring from a girl to a guy would be fine in this day and age

 

[cyclefiend2000]

guy speaking here.... ring? i never wore a ring until i got married.

i'd rather have a "promise ps3"!

 

[ACooper]

ROFLMAO!!! Spoken like a man! :lol-sign:

 

[Buddy'sParents]

I haven't read through the whole thread, so I' m sorry if this has been said.. .

If a man can give a promise ring or propose, I see no reason as to why a woman can not do the same thing.

My husband wears an engraved promise ring I bought him.

 

[DoggyDaze]

LMAO!

Back in the 60's we called this going steady. It meant that a couple was dating exclusively. A ring was ususally involved. Engagement was not considered to be the logical outcome.

Of course this was during that brief window of opportunity between the availability of birth control pills (some people opposed this, go figure) and the onset of AIDS. Penicillin was still reliable also.

I swear, the older I get, the less things change.

 

[SharkyX]

Or maybe it's the less you remember from way back when, so things still seem the same

I dunno about the promise PS3... I'd rather avoid those... now if Jenn were to get me a promise lead dog to add into my team I would be very happy with that