I would like to clear up some misconceptions.

[noludoru]

Over a year ago, when I joined chaz, I adopted a Doberman named Garnet from DAR&E, a Dobe rescue in my area. I posted about it and only made a few posts talking about what happened - none of which were in a thread of their own, and only talked to a few people about it.

We only had him for a week.. and I loved him a lot. I didn't talk about it because it HURT that I had to return him to DAR&E and that someone else was going to have him forever, and that lucky person wouldn't be me. When someone PMed me about it a couple months later asking what happened, replying to her PM took me a long time because I was crying so hard. We returned him after such a short period of time because it was clear that we were a horrible fit for him - he had way too much energy and I had far too little to keep up with him, and a few other things, but that was the main problem - we weren't going to be able to keep him physically in shape and happy. We talked with several people in DAR&E and together we determined that we weren't the right home for him, and returned him with most of his stuff as a donation. He got adopted shortly after.

As I said, I didn't make a big post on chaz about it because it hurt. The whole situation HURT, and losing him hurt, and feeling like a FAILURE as a dog owner hurt. A lot. I was MIA on chaz for a while because I didn't want to think about him or any other dog, because then I'd have to think about how I failed him.

I feel - and NO ONE, no uppity person with their ignorant opinions who wasn't there, doesn't know me and didn't bother to ask what happened can change this - that we did the right things for him. It would not be fair to keep him in a home where he was loved but wouldn't be able to really thrive. Maybe some of you are so stuck on the idea that all dogs should be kept in the homes that take them in no matter what, no matter if the people who adopted them made a bad decision and it wouldn't be good for them to stay there can't understand that. That's fine.

So you can fault me for not knowing how much dog I was really taking on. That's fair. I fault myself for that, too. But saying I did the wrong thing to return him to a rescue that gave him his forever home? Faulting me for making the right decision for him even though I wanted to be selfish and keep him? Spreading rumors about me and what you *think* I did to him that are so far from the truth they make me cry? That's low. It's really, really low. I don't even have a word for that.

I'm NO dog abuser, dog-dumper, or whatever else you might want to think about me. I did the right thing.

 

[Baxter'smybaby]

what's going on Nolu?

 

[SpringerLover]

I have no idea what happened (well, now I do) but {{hugs}} so sorry that people can be so nasty, cruel, and evil.

And Middie is adorable... and seems like a great fit for you. The dobe got a home that was a good fit for him, and you got a dog that was a great fit for you. Suffering through a lifetime with a dog that wouldn't be happy is just that... suffering, for all involved.

more {{hugs}}

 

[SmexyPibble]

I don't think you're anywhere close to a "dog abuser, dog-dumper, or whatever else you might want to think about me". And I think you did the right thing, too. The dog owner makes the choice. You were the dog owner, you made the choice and I am NOT going to debate against that. He wasn't the right dog for you. My friend rescued a German Shepherd who was near starved to death and ended up having to rehome him because he wasn't the right dog for her.

You did the RIGHT thing. He would've been unhappy if you would've kept him and not provided like he needed. You did indeed do the right thing and I hope others understand that, too!

 

[noludoru]

Bax, if you do not already know, trust me when I say you don't want to.

 

[Toller_08]

(((HUGS))) Sometimes things just work out in such ways, Nolu. My family has done the same thing in the past, and it's definitely not an easy thing to have happen, especially when people aren't at all supportive. I think it's great that you explained the situation openly about him though... that's something I never did, and probably never will do because I don't want to hear what some would have to say.

It sounds like you most definitely did the best thing for your family and Garnet. Dobes are undeniably a very energetic, demanding breed - some moreso than others, and it would have been unfair to both yourself and Garnet had you kept him based upon what you've said (IMO). And now you have Middie, who seems like a fantastic fit. I don't think you could ask for a better dog for you.

 

[Beanie]

I'm sorry you feel you have to stand up for yourself like this. =<

IMO a rescue will always strive to finding the right fit, both for each dog and for each family. You were not the right fit for that dog... and giving him back so he could be placed with the right family is not a BAD thing.
It is a GOOD thing.

 

[Dekka]

Pffft and you care about that person's opinions why? The rest of us know what kind of a dog owner you are. (I mean look at all those abused pics of Middie you keep torturing us with)

 

[noludoru]

I care about these people's opinions because not only am I being smeared, but these nutjobs are coming on THIS forum to spread it. I care because my purported "abuse" of Garnet is being used as fodder to troll this forum and to make people hate me and/or wonder about my ethics. I care because it hurts my feelings. Because it makes my friends unsure of me.

I care because they will happily do this to other people, too, have bad things happen and then can't or wont post about it. Just like Toller said. I doubt I'm the only one who has been in this position or one like it before.

 

[PWCorgi]

((((((HUGS))))))

Don't listen to her, she doesn't have a **** clue about what she's talking about.

Everybody here knows you better than that, and if they say anything different, well...let me at 'em!

 

[scob89]

I'm NO dog abuser, dog-dumper, or whatever else you might want to think about me. I did the right thing.

You go that right, In order to really know if you have the time, money and such to take care of a dog, you have to take it home, Unlike most people I know, you did the right thing and decided that he was too much to take care of and you took him back so someone that could take care of him properly could adopt him. Thank you for being the better person.

 

[Dekka]

I care about these people's opinions because not only am I being smeared, but these nutjobs are coming on THIS forum to spread it. I care because my purported "abuse" of Garnet is being used as fodder to troll this forum and to make people hate me and/or wonder about my ethics. I care because it hurts my feelings. Because it makes my friends unsure of me.

I care because they will happily do this to other people, too, have bad things happen and then can't or wont post about it. Just like Toller said. I doubt I'm the only one who has been in this position or one like it before.

But my point was, don't let it get to you. That is why they do it. No one who reads your posts or looks at pics of Middie are going to think you are a bad dog owner.

It will just make the people who post those things look stupid. I have rehomed dogs, and I know what some people think. So what? It was the right thing to do for THE DOG.

Don't let them manipulate you into feeling you need to defend yourself for doing the right thing.

 

[adojrts]

Agreed why would you care about their opinion, how is it their business anyways on any level??
Tell them to ******* get a life and stay out of yours.

 

[Renee750il]

See, Nolu?

And sometimes PEOPLE have to be re-forumed because they aren't the right fit I'd say you've ended up in the right home, Nolu. ((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

 

[Babyblue5290]

Agreed why would you care about their opinion, how is it their business anyways on any level??
Tell them to ******* get a life and stay out of yours.

Exactly. Let the idiots be idiots and know you did the right thing Nolu! I had no clue what that person was talking about when they said that, but I KNEW it was pure bullcrap because I know YOU are a GOOD dog owner who would only do what's best for the dog! Just because some bitter old.....person would try to spread slander doesn't mean we'll suddenly loose all trust in you that you've seriously earned!

 

[adojrts]

I care because it hurts my feelings. Because it makes my friends unsure of me.
.

First thing, your true friends instead of judging will ask for the real story. Second, if you allow this person/s to get a reaction out of you, they win and they were successful in their mission, why give them that kind of power over you??

 

[noludoru]

Agreed why would you care about their opinion, how is it their business anyways on any level??
Tell them to ******* get a life and stay out of yours.

Well, that's part of my meaning with this post. Hopefully now that there is a place where people can read what actually happened, there will be no more drama about it - at least none that reaches my ears.

See, Nolu?

And sometimes PEOPLE have to be re-forumed because they aren't the right fit I'd say you've ended up in the right home, Nolu. ((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((hugs back)))))))))))))))))

I do believe that's the last word on the topic right there.

Thanks everyone.

 

[milos_mommy]

Nolu...you've been on this forum as long as I have and have always been, as far as I can tell, an awesome person. I did not know about what happened with Garnet. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you, but I very much admire you for making such a difficult decision, the BEST decision for HIM. You're compassionate about animals and it shows in your posts and your love of Middie. If anything, putting a dog in a better home than your own shows bravery and selflessness, not abuse or anything like that.

We've had a handful of new people come on to this forum, some of them I'm lovin' and some of them I'd love to see go back to the dark place they came from. I'd surely trust a longtime member and internet friend better than any random poster.

 

[Zoom]

Don't you worry Nolu. Those who would believe what some crazy troll says over what the rest of this forum says aren't people we want as members anyway.

 

[ACooper]

I am glad that you decided to make the post Nolu

You know if a new member came here and posted about a dog, then never mentioned that dog again YOU would wonder what happened to it. It's not always easy to do the right thing, whether it's giving a dog back to a rescue or talking about it later..........but I think you managed it.

I know you remember when I pm'd you asking about him a few months after the fact. You told me you would post about it and then never did............it really confused me and made me wonder if you were just trying to pull the wool over my eyes. I didn't want to think that, but I did.

Again, I am glad you made the post. No matter the circumstances, it's best to get things out and over with..........it is so much easier to move forward without your past weighing you down