Do you want kids?

[Equinox]

I didn't use to like kids at all (despite being very good with them), but had acknowledged that I'd most likely have kids of my own one day. Now, I'm starting to like kids more and am more okay with the idea of having them in the future. Babies are beginning to look cute, although I'm still not sold on the ones ages 8 and up. And if I end up with kids that acted anything like I did in high school, I'd pack my bags and dogs and move away to a remote island.

Funnily enough, the one part of having kids that makes me the happiest is the idea of raising a child with a dog like Trent. I never had pets as a child and that's one thing my prospective children will never miss out on. Plus, I also do like the idea of having a husband and a cozy little family.

 

[Julee]

No no no,
No no,
No.

On top of the overwhelming lack of desire to have the, holy health issues batman.

 

[Assamiea]

No kids for me. I don't really want my own kids and the boyfriend can't have kids (medical issue) so it's not a big issue between us. I do love kids though, my cousin has an almost 3 year old soon that I adore but I like the option of giving him back when he's crying or misbehaving.

The funny this is that my cousin calls me "The Baby Bully" because every time someone brings a baby over I want to be around it and hold it all the time, but I really have no desire to have my own.

 

[JacksonsMom]

Something that has been itching me lately.. anybody have any future family plans?

I am firmly in the "depends on so many other factors" camp. Depends on the world at the time, depends on if my partner really wants them, depends if I find the right partner,depends on if I can afford to stay at home (which ideally, I would like to do), depends on genetic testing.

But now i think I'm a firm..."maybe" lol
Hopefully after my partner and I have been married for at least 5 years. CERTAINLY before I'm 35. And would like to at least have enough saved kid-wise to get the kid through 4 years of college debt free and live in a place with a great school district.

my opinion of this issue has VASTLY changed in the last few years. I used to be a firm NO. No I'm a firm maybe. There are so many factors...and so much I would like to experience as a couple and a person first, but still.

I would like to travel the world first! lol

You?

pretty much EXACTLY this.

I am 23 now. I see quite a bit of my graduating class from HS on facebook getting married and having babies. I simply cannot IMAGINE. It's crazy to me lol. It always seems to be the same crowd of people too, it's almost like it's become the popular thing to do. I am somewhat jaded tho because nearly everyone in my life that I've known that got married and had kids before the age of 23 were all divorced and not very happy with their lives. So because I grew up with everyone around me getting divorced, I've become very 'meh' at the idea.

But again, I'm not in a serious relationship, I still live at home, etc, so my perspective could be different. I just have sooo many things I want to do before having something tie me down. A dog is enough! LOL...

I don't ever want to say no. Because I am sure when I meet a guy that I am ready to get serious with, it will be something that will cross our minds. I wouldn't be opposed to adopting if my spouse was either. But if a guy was adamant about not having kids, it wouldn't be a deal breaker either, I don't think. I don't want kids before 30 though.

I've also grown up being the 'big sister'. I was 18 when my youngest sister was born. Having 3 siblings all 10+ years younger than me, plus young cousins, has given me more than enough kid time. I've helped "raised" my siblings in a lot of ways and am very close to them. When I finally move out, it will be my first time EVER being in a kid free house. I will be sooo excited lol.

But I'm basically a big fat maybe. I think I'd be a good mom. I'm good with kids. I like "my own" (siblings, etc)... strange kids, I just don't get all mushy and gushy about like some people do.

 

[*blackrose]

I feel so torn on this issue. I used to be 100% against it, but I'm not now. I'm on the fence, really.
The problem is that I only really like babies. The thought of parenting a pre-teen makes me want to spay myself ASAP.
So. . .maybe, probably not, I don't know.

Well, just think: most people prefer puppies over adolescent brat dogs, but when you get a puppy you remember when it was cute, so you don't kill it as a teenager. I believe the same principle applies with children. You can also tolerate your own bratty dog versus someone else's bratty dog. LOL

 

[JacksonsMom]

I do think about my life when I'm older though. I think I would be lonely without kids and grandkids. I mean, I know I have my younger siblings... and THEY could have kids of their own someday too. But I love and admire my "second family"... I grew up with this couple as a kid, the mom babysat me all growing up, I became a part of their family, and they have 2 adult daughters. They each have kids... 5 between the two of them (ages 17, 13, 10, 8 and 6) and it's just so cool to see them all together. The grandparents (whom I was technically like their "first grandchild") take all the grandkids every summer, and always have little adventures with them, and traditions, etc, and I think as I got older I would miss that part of life.

But, again, I definitely won't even be thinking about until 30, ideally, and realistically, I'd love to adopt.

 

[Equinox]

Well, just think: most people prefer puppies over adolescent brat dogs, but when you get a puppy you remember when it was cute, so you don't kill it as a teenager. I believe the same principle applies with children. You can also tolerate your own bratty dog versus someone else's bratty dog. LOL

Yeah, but... a human's adolescent/teenager phase is going to last a lot longer than a dog's Trent was the worst teenager dog in the world, but that only lasted 2 years. Real teenagers/adolescents don't stop after 2 years!

 

[Moth]

No...

It has been no since I was in my teens...and I am now in my forties.

Maybe once upon a time if I had ended up with a partner that really wanted children I would have considered it.

My fiance also does not want kids...we will just spend our time and money on the dogs instead

 

[Whisper]

Plus, Fable, even when I want to wring her neck, is way cuter that any bratty teenager. It's why she's not back at the pound yet.

 

[Paviche]

Biological kids? Absolutely not. I have a fear of both pregnancy and childbirth. More than that, there are a lot of issues that run in my family, and I simply wouldn't be willing to risk passing those on. I also can't stand babies/infants/toddlers. No maternal instinct there whatsoever.

Adopted? Still most likely no, but I'd be *slightly* more open to it. My partner does not want kids at all, and I'm perfectly fine with that. If we were to part ways in the future and I ended up with someone who wanted to adopt, well, I'd be open to at least *considering* it. I still don't think I'd want to give up that freedom, though, and I don't think I'd make a very good mother. I'd prefer to dedicate myself to my dogs. My mom has resigned herself to the fact that she won't get grandkids from me, just granddogs

 

[Southpaw]

I used to say NO WAY. I generally don't like kids, don't know what to do with them, find them super annoying. Maybe it's from growing up with my mom doing daycare; too many kids, all the time!
However then my siblings started having kids, and I realized, hey I like them much more when they're related to me! :rofl1: I adore my nieces and nephews. So then I think, yeah probably I would like my own children, then.

Kind of like how I enjoy my own dogs 100000x more than other peoples dogs.

So I guess I'm the "sure, maybe?" camp.

 

[joce]

I am due in just over a month and excited!

I was a firm no till just a couple years ago. I hated dolls and can count the times I have held babies on my fingers. I don't like a lot of kids but I will like mine! Same as I don't like some people's bratty dogs etc. my mom thinks I'm evil for thinking all kids are not the greatest thing in the world.

I did want to wait for many things but at thirty felt time was getting away so we went for it. Ended up finally getting our new place and may be in it before baby comes. I was stuck on not having kids if I had to work but we need a two person income realistically with all we do and want.

I want three now but we will see how we do with one lol!

 

[Toller_08]

If I could have kids magically born at like 6 years old? Then yes! Haha. I am not a baby person at all. I just feel so lost and confused and have no idea what to do with babies. And to be honest, the entire idea of ever being pregnant and having a child is absolutely terrifying to me. So I don't really know. It'd depend on a lot of things. I certainly wouldn't be against adopting an older child someday, depending on other life circumstances, but at this point I'm not sure if I'd ever have one of my own. Sometimes I think it'd be nice, but at the same time I still have way too many things I want to do before I seriously think about future kids.

I used to be a definitely no. Now, like others, I'm a maybe. Depending on a million other aspects.

 

[ruffiangirl]

If I could have kids magically born at like 6 years old?

I think that's called adoption lol.

At this point in my life, no, I think I'm to old now (38) to have a baby, I would adopt an older sibling pair though, like 3-6 years old.we have discussed it, but I haven't pursued if further. I'm really enjoying the dogs and I know kids would be an end to that.

 

[CaliTerp07]

At this point in my life, no, I think I'm to old now (38) to have a baby

The average age of first time mom's at my OB's office is 37. If you really wanted it, it's not too late. It is unheard of around DC to have a child before 31-32 (I'm a freak of nature at 28), and extremely common to have them in your 40's. The fertility decline at 35 is pretty overexaggerated and minimal, and the risk of birth defects is still only around 1%.

That being said, if you don't want it, don't do it

 

[Dizzy]

Yes. I always did. Early 20s that disappeared, mid 20s it was meh, I realised the impact they would have and wasn't ready for that. 30s I began thinking yes again. 32 and it's 100% yes, but I can't actually ever imagine being pregnant. Feels like something that happens to other people.... I think age, plus finding out I had a cyst on my ovary made me suddenly realise I don't have all the time in the world to decide this... No time is the right time. So we hope to have them at some point soon. We will see...

Other half was slightly indifferent. Then was reluctant. Then thought one maybe.. And now definitely wants kids and is excited by the idea.

Why? I think I'd be a good mum! We'd have a good family, we are fun, laid back, have a nice life. I understand about attachment, child development etc and part of it is wanting to give a child/adult a really good life and chance at being happy and successful (as mad as that sounds). I've always worked with kids, and I think that put me off having them... Where as now I see them and think, I want to be doing that. I want to try that... Before it was like, Urgh hard work.

Plus I want to go to Disney land

 

[CaliTerp07]

I never wanted children. People said, "You'll meet the right person and change your mind", "you'll change your mind when you're older", "it's different when they're your own".

They lied about the first two--here's hoping they aren't lying about the third, seeing as I'm 6 months pregnant.

On paper, everything looks perfect. I am nearly 28, DH is 29. I have been married to the most amazing guy for over 5 years. We've done it all together--traveled the world, bought a house, navigated great jobs. We have college degrees (I tacked on grad school). We live in a fantastic public school district. The ducks are in a row, so to speak. I still am very (very) unsure about this.

I think I might feel differently if I lived in a place where babies were the norm for people my age. As I stated above, the average age of first time mom's in my office is 37. I am the ONLY person from my group of college friends to have a baby (despite many being married), and one of only 3 people I know from high school to have one. My current friends are all dog people, so they've already long since raised their kids, or are often times super dog involved because they don't want kids. I feel a bit (a lot) like an outcast.

I also think I'd feel differently if I had a different profession. As a teacher in a low income school, I feel like I am contributing to society and changing kids' lives on a daily basis. I pour my heart and soul into my job, and I see the difference I am making. I am absolutely terrified that my one child will take away from the impact I can have on the 120 kids on my roster. I know I will not be able to spend the late nights calling my students' families to discuss how they're doing, or stay at school late for choir concerts and paper grading. Day care closes, baby needs fed...I won't be nearly as devoted to school anymore, and that makes me really upset.

So do I want kids? I don't know. Baby comes in April. Ask me next fall when I'm trying to navigate going back to work on severe lack of sleep It's going to be an adventure.

 

[frostfell]

absolutely not. human puppies horrify and disgust me, they are not cute or endearing. and the next person who says "oh youre still young youll change your mind" or makes some smarmy remark about biological clock is getting a boot to the face. so sick of hearing it!:rofl1:

 

[CaliTerp07]

Zach and I had a deal...if he raised 'em for the first 9 years, I'd take the second 9 years.

If only that were realistic

Side note, those who want to adopt...start saving. We looked at it, fairly in depth. We went to a couple agency's "open house" nights. The average cost is $45,000 for a healthy child, whether domestic or international. It is nearly impossible to get a child under around 4 years old internationally, and there is a wait list years long for infants in the states. There was also a lot of backhanded comments given to us for not being infertile and wanting to "take away" a child from a couple who had struggled with infertility.

I was all for adopting a kid at 6 or 7 from foster care or an overseas orphanage (both are children truly in need of loving families, and can usually be had for much less money), but that scared my husband. There was no way I was going to push on something like that.

It's scary how much of a business adoption is.

 

[RedHotDobe]

Nope. Don't like babies, don't like kids, don't like the thought of having either. I think if my SO convinced me otherwise I'd just end up miserable. My previous boyfriend was wavering on maybe, and it scared me. Current boyfriend is a definite no and it just makes me feel better. I always feel like everyone wants kids and I'm weird for not. Finding someone who shares my feelings is just a huge relief.