Do you want kids?

[Fran101]

Something that has been itching me lately.. anybody have any future family plans?

I am firmly in the "depends on so many other factors" camp. Depends on the world at the time, depends on if my partner really wants them, depends if I find the right partner,depends on if I can afford to stay at home (which ideally, I would like to do), depends on genetic testing.

But now i think I'm a firm..."maybe" lol
Hopefully after my partner and I have been married for at least 5 years. CERTAINLY before I'm 35. And would like to at least have enough saved kid-wise to get the kid through 4 years of college debt free and live in a place with a great school district.

my opinion of this issue has VASTLY changed in the last few years. I used to be a firm NO. No I'm a firm maybe. There are so many factors...and so much I would like to experience as a couple and a person first, but still.

I would like to travel the world first! lol

You?

 

[RBark]

I'm 30 years old and have nothing but failed relationships under my belt. Time, I think, is making that decision for me.

 

[k9krazee]

Naw.

I was undecided...but my husband made it a "no" when I married him. I'm okay with it. My sister had a baby 3 days ago and I'm more than happy to be doting Aunt, give him back and then snuggle my puppy.

It's frustrating when people try to tell me that I'll change my mind or that I'll want kids eventually. We won't, we can't, we never will!! And it's gotten worse since my sister had her baby. I just smile & shake my head.

 

[kady05]

Nope. Have said since I was 12/13 that I never wanted them. I'm 26 now, have been married for almost 2yrs. (we've been together for 9yrs.) and that hasn't changed.

I have like.. zero maternal instincts toward children. You know how most women flip out over a baby if they see it in public? Yeah no. I want to be as far away as possible.

 

[crazedACD]

No. I'm 26, and I'm pretty unwavered in that decision. I don't enjoy being around them for periods of time, and I don't think I could give up my 'everyday freedom' for children. I know parents sometimes take offense to that, and say that they do have free time, but I don't want the responsibility of it at all.

 

[Shai]

I'm firmly in the maybe camp and have been for a long time.

As RBark said, time may make the decision for me, though for other reasons.

 

[sassafras]

Well, that ship has sailed for me.

But - my answer has always been "no" anyway, for a variety of reasons. ETA: If I had ended up with a partner who really, really, really wanted kids I probably would have, but for myself... I've never been interested.

 

[Saeleofu]

Nope.

I might...MIGHT...adopt an older child some day. But none of my own.

I'm infertile anyway, so it's a good thing I don't want kids :rofl1:

 

[stardogs]

Yes. I was a pretty firm no in my teens, went to waffling in my early 20s, and now I'm a yes (with occasional "oh crap babies are scary! thought). DH and I are planning to start trying at the end of this year! Both excited and nervous about that.

 

[Grab]

I have one already But, I'm good with just one. I'm sure my husband would love a second, but I am good with one

I will say that I'm not a "kid person" in general. Babies are cute, but I have no desire to hold other kids and I'm not very comfortable around other people's kids in general. I adore my own child, but my maternal instincts end there.

 

[Xandra]

Yeah I want kids!! Both biological and adopted.

I thought five years into marriage was a good time-floor as well, and I'd definitely have lived with the guy a while before that as well.

Before I even thought of kids I'd have to feel mature and good about my life, which would involve getting under control the laziness/recklessness/selfishness/other traits not conducive to raising children properly.

I'd also want to have a healthy personal savings account, a partner with a good income, the work experience and education/training to be able to get a good job easily (if I had to quit my current job)... that sort of thing. I'd definitely still want to work part time. I would feel like I'd failed if I couldn't pay for their college.

I'd also want at least a suburban house... preferably a house with some land and animals.

I mean, that's what I'd want. But it's so far in the future for me... who knows how it will go. I mean if we were happy and could manage with a child and I got pregnant, I'm sure we'd just make it work.

 

[Lyzelle]

Yep. Before I was all NO NO NEVER NO.

And then I met BeAu, and Leland. And then we lost Leland. BeAu is in baby crazy mode, and I certainly want one. But we're another year or so off, if not more.

 

[*blackrose]

Yes.

I'm not a baby person. Heck, I'm not really even a kid person. (Some I really hit it off with...others drive me batty. LOL) But...I've always wanted kids. And I would love my own children.

I want multiple kids, and I don't want to be older when I have them, so realistically, we're going to need to think about starting a family...soon. But, no way in hell do I want to be pregnant without having all my ducks in a row in regards to Michael's military service. I need to get my own feet under me before I add another pair of feet into the equation.

But...potentially later this year or next year we may give it a go. Depends on a lot of factors.

Had Michael said he wanted to he career military I'm not sure if I'd have the same game plan. I think if that were the case, I would either say no kids, or one child later in life...which was something we discussed in depth, and there is a lot more to that, but...let's just say we should both be happy with our current plan.

 

[LostAndConfused]

we've always been in the "maybe some day" camp. Now that we are both getting a little bit older, we're starting to think, "If we're going to do this, we really need to start getting our ducks in a row." It helps that my sister has 2 kids and my brother has one on the way, so I can test drive them. My husband loves my niece and thinks she is the best toy ever.


Sooooo...my BC is done next spring and the current plan is not to get a new one put in. Of course there are a lot of things that need to happen between now and then, so we'll see.

 

[StillandSilent]

According to my mother, I informed her 'no babies! Bad babies!' When gifted a doll at the age of two, and my views haven't changed much. Its terrible, but when im around kids, my skin just crawls. And when I think about pregnancy....its like an actual phobia. Not just a 'gross, imagine what it would be like....' sort of thing but I actual feel that I would be suicidal. I don't know why I feel like that, but I always have.

I'm hoping to have my tubes tied at 32, which is the earliest I can. Because we all know that a woman can't possibly know her own desires until then

 

[Beanie]

No. I've tried to talk myself into it even. I just honestly hate the idea of having kids... not hate kids, just the idea of having any. I'm not a huge fan of kids anyway. I like my friends kids but in general... no. I think it's largely because my mom did daycare in our home until I was 16... I've just had my fill.
I sort of wish I did since I want to marry a Christian guy and most of them are big into kids and raising a family. I'm big on family but am missing the wanting kids to be a part of it piece. The moment I realized how much of a No it was came when I was having some woman problems and was afraid I was going to need a hysterectomy... and was all upset and worried about the surgery and healing time and forced rest blah blah... and until like three days later did I even realize I never had the "I won't be able to have kids!!" response. which is apparently normal even for women who are way past child rearing. And even after realizing that I was just like oh okay. I'm fine with this.
So yeah... no for me. It doesn't stop me from being thrilled for my friends when they get pregnant/have kids though! although I'm entering that stage of life where it seems like I am about to be the only one who is single without kids. Wheeeeeeee!

 

[krissy]

Heck no. Hate is a strong word. I immensely dislike children. There is nothing about them that evokes anything even remotely maternal in me. Mostly when I see a child I feel depressed and annoyed. Pretty sure that's not good. Lol.

Also there are so many ways a developing human can go both before and after birth. I don't want to deal with the luck factor prior to birth, and I don't want to be responsible for the nurture portion after. And I'm way too selfish to ever be a mother. I have lots of activities that I enjoy doing and there is no way I'm giving them up to spend time asking someone else to activities.

At least I know, right?

 

[Airn]

I'm really not sure. So many maybe's.

One one hand (or two, or three...) I'm selfish. I don't want to give up pretty much everything for this being that I will be responsible for FOREVER.

I'm also terrified my kid would end up with a disability. I don't want to have to deal with a special needs kid. Might be awful but, whatever. I don't WANT to have to 'deal with it'.

What if I end up with a kid that's just an asshole? Or a boy? :rofl1:

At this stage it's a maybe but I can't naturally have children so it will have to be a conscious decision to have children and less of an "Ooops I'm pregnant." Which, to be honest, I think is the majority of the reason people my age have kids.

That ****'s expensive. My friend is pregnant and she hates kids. She wanted to give it up for adoption but her family and SO are pressuring her into keeping the kid. She has NO money. No job, no savings and she just got evicted from her home. I'm not sure why you would encourage someone who is basically homeless to rear their child but, whatever.

I considered a child and went pretty baby crazy when my grandmother died. But every now and then I just look at my SO and wonder if I want to be attached to him forever. If I want him to be the father of my children. And that's a bit terrifying. I might have some commitment issues.

I am sick of my mother talking about "when you have kids" and "You'll BE such a great mother!". Like, if I don't have kids and just have dogs I've somehow failed her.

 

[Whisper]

I feel so torn on this issue. I used to be 100% against it, but I'm not now. I'm on the fence, really.
The problem is that I only really like babies. The thought of parenting a pre-teen makes me want to spay myself ASAP.
So. . .maybe, probably not, I don't know.

 

[AmandaNola]

Yes. At least, most of the time that's my thought. It'll more than likely be a difficult journey though; my cycles are bat **** crazy and next to impossible to track. Won't be trying for several years though. I'd like 3 ideally. I'm the oldest of 6, so four is my max. My high chance of having twins scares me a bit, Ill admit.
Odd thing is, I can't stand most kids. I adore my siblings (I was 16 and 17 when my youngest siblings were born, and was more like another mom than a sis), and my nieces and nephews. Friends kids? Tolerate. Strangers kids? Can't stand.