Do you want kids?
- Thread starter Fran101
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I looked online to see what my options were for birth centers in my area. I read each of their websites and reviews, and called to get more information.
I went to a consultation appointment with the birthing center I chose, and was able to see the entire building and ask one of the midwives any questions. The building feels more like a home and their birthing rooms each have a jacuzzi tub and a patio. They have a full kitchen (during labor you can have your family even cook for you if you want) and snacks, and everyone is very nice and caring.
It's about 25 miles (40-45 minutes) away from my house which is the only drawback. There are three midwives who work there along with a couple of RNs. They have a couple of emergency OB/Gyns who they use in case of emergency at the hospital 800 feet from their building. I'm hoping I won't have to use the hospital, but it's there in case I need it.
I just feel like I have a better chance of my birth plan going as, well, planned at a birthing center. I think hospitals are great when they're really necessary... but to me, I feel hospitals are overkill for most normal births
I went to a consultation appointment with the birthing center I chose, and was able to see the entire building and ask one of the midwives any questions. The building feels more like a home and their birthing rooms each have a jacuzzi tub and a patio. They have a full kitchen (during labor you can have your family even cook for you if you want) and snacks, and everyone is very nice and caring.
It's about 25 miles (40-45 minutes) away from my house which is the only drawback. There are three midwives who work there along with a couple of RNs. They have a couple of emergency OB/Gyns who they use in case of emergency at the hospital 800 feet from their building. I'm hoping I won't have to use the hospital, but it's there in case I need it.
I just feel like I have a better chance of my birth plan going as, well, planned at a birthing center. I think hospitals are great when they're really necessary... but to me, I feel hospitals are overkill for most normal births
Our son was born on the 11th. We had planned the birthing center, but after the water broke on wednesday and she was in labor 15 minutes after that, all day Thursday and by friday morning, still nothing, the midwife transferred us to the Hospital and suggested pitocin to move things a long
By 9 that night my wife was still a trooper, but still nothing was moving. The doctor was pushing for a c-section and she wouldn't quit. She started getting combative with my wife who'd been in labor for the better part of 3 days and under the influence of pitocin for 11 hours, what she didn't realize is how strong my wife is
You could see the open mouth gasps by everyone in the room when my wife told her thank you for her opinion, but no thanks. You could tell the Dr. was not used to being stood up to and she certainly didn't back down easily.
I'm very grateful our midwife was there thru the entire process and thankful my wife requested a 2nd opinion from another dr. he came in, said everything was fine, and it was, it just wasn't going as fast as the previous dr wanted, but we, and most importantly my wife, wanted to take the time. C-sections certainly aren't without their drawbacks and that early exposure to narcotics isn't exactly something to just shrug off. If it's necessary, it's necessary. When it's not, it's not.
I thought it was great there was a resident doc there as well and he saw the whole thing and how birthing by their little timetable isn't always the way it has to be. I hope that experience sticks with him when he is leading up the deliveries some day.
anyway, 5:58 on Saturday morning Eli was born, happy, healthy, and awesome
Take home message. Having the plan is great, but you must remain strong. If we hadn't had our midwife there, I'm not sure how things would have gone. Probably ended up in a c-section and we're not easily convinced of anything and fairly well educated in our decisions. But not ever having gone thru it and I can't explain how vulnerable you feel at that moment, it's something you just have to experience, I"m not sure we would have had the conviction or confidence to tell the doctor "No" if our midwife wasn't there with us.
But as it turned out, we stuck to our plan the best we could, and thankfully we had 30 years of delivering babies naturally to listen to because we were both a little out of our element
as for other things in this thread, i never thought I'd be particularly fond of newborns. I love kids, have always loved kids. Most seem to like me back and I always get them in trouble from their parents because we get a little rowdy. But newborns? thought it was something to get thru.
I can't even describe how incredible it feels to hold our baby. I really can't.
We'll see what the rest brings. We have our ideas and plans and like everything else, we remain flexible when it makes sense to be so.
As for my childhood. I have one brother and a shitload of cousins our extended family is closer than a lot of brother/sister relationships. I've hated them all and loved them at the same time. Never would I want those experiences to be different. Sharing a bedroom with a brother till I graduated high school sucked. Having a brother to do stuff with all those years was awesome. Having someone that knows you that well as an adult and where you came from is invaluable today.
By 9 that night my wife was still a trooper, but still nothing was moving. The doctor was pushing for a c-section and she wouldn't quit. She started getting combative with my wife who'd been in labor for the better part of 3 days and under the influence of pitocin for 11 hours, what she didn't realize is how strong my wife is
You could see the open mouth gasps by everyone in the room when my wife told her thank you for her opinion, but no thanks. You could tell the Dr. was not used to being stood up to and she certainly didn't back down easily.
I'm very grateful our midwife was there thru the entire process and thankful my wife requested a 2nd opinion from another dr. he came in, said everything was fine, and it was, it just wasn't going as fast as the previous dr wanted, but we, and most importantly my wife, wanted to take the time. C-sections certainly aren't without their drawbacks and that early exposure to narcotics isn't exactly something to just shrug off. If it's necessary, it's necessary. When it's not, it's not.
I thought it was great there was a resident doc there as well and he saw the whole thing and how birthing by their little timetable isn't always the way it has to be. I hope that experience sticks with him when he is leading up the deliveries some day.
anyway, 5:58 on Saturday morning Eli was born, happy, healthy, and awesome
Take home message. Having the plan is great, but you must remain strong. If we hadn't had our midwife there, I'm not sure how things would have gone. Probably ended up in a c-section and we're not easily convinced of anything and fairly well educated in our decisions. But not ever having gone thru it and I can't explain how vulnerable you feel at that moment, it's something you just have to experience, I"m not sure we would have had the conviction or confidence to tell the doctor "No" if our midwife wasn't there with us.
But as it turned out, we stuck to our plan the best we could, and thankfully we had 30 years of delivering babies naturally to listen to because we were both a little out of our element
as for other things in this thread, i never thought I'd be particularly fond of newborns. I love kids, have always loved kids. Most seem to like me back and I always get them in trouble from their parents because we get a little rowdy. But newborns? thought it was something to get thru.
I can't even describe how incredible it feels to hold our baby. I really can't.
We'll see what the rest brings. We have our ideas and plans and like everything else, we remain flexible when it makes sense to be so.
As for my childhood. I have one brother and a shitload of cousins
our extended family is closer than a lot of brother/sister relationships. I've hated them all and loved them at the same time. Never would I want those experiences to be different. Sharing a bedroom with a brother till I graduated high school sucked. Having a brother to do stuff with all those years was awesome. Having someone that knows you that well as an adult and where you came from is invaluable today.
He shares my husband's birthday.Great post as well!
Lol if it was me I would be like "can you clean it off first? All those birthing videos I hVe seen where they put the baby on the mother all wet, sticky and filthy ... No just ... No.
Anyway it's not the 12 and under years I am terrified of ... It's the 12 and OVER years! With all the the bad influences in the world today ... It scares me to death
Anyway it's not the 12 and under years I am terrified of ... It's the 12 and OVER years! With all the the bad influences in the world today ... It scares me to death
I would assume since you are giving birth to a human being and putting all your love and energy into hoping this small human you are responsible for is healthy...there are bigger things to worry about then if it's 'gross'.
You have made about 10 of these kind of "eww never!" points of this thread. We get it. You don't want kids. You do this in EVERY parenting thread, just stop.
You have made about 10 of these kind of "eww never!" points of this thread. We get it. You don't want kids. You do this in EVERY parenting thread, just stop.
Thank you, it was a long time coming in more ways than one. We've had more miscarriages than you can count on one hand and a heck of a lot of trying (which isn't all bad
) Neither of us wanted to go the in vitro route or use medications to try and have a baby. After 9 years we kind of figured that adoption was the only way we were having kids. That's what my wife's bonus from last year was going to be used for and on Mother's day last year she shows me a positive pregnancy test but we had been thru that before, so we were cautiously optimistic that this time would be different. And thankfully it was.OTher than seeming to take forever, it was pretty smooth, minus one hiccup
I think she developed a reputation at that hospital quite a few of the support staff that weren't there at all for the birth came have come up to us, days later and commented about that situation and congratulated her for staying strong and not doing things just to get things over with After he was born that is one perk of the hospital over the birth center. At the center we went to, most mom's go home within 3-6 hours after giving birth. Which was what we wanted anyway, but at the hospital, the price of giving birth included 2 days stay, which was 3 for us because she gave birth so early in the morning, that day didn't count yet.
But they treated us like kings and queens. Brought us real food, cooked by a great chef, took our dishes away, changed diapers etc. It was nice not having to do anything for a couple days
But the experiences are very different I'm sure. Just the demeanor of our midwife and center compared to the hospital was night and day. One is medical and rigid and things happen like this and constantly monitored compared to, things look good, enjoy it
Even the follow up visits are so different. One is relaxing and enjoyable, the other is like something you have to just get thru.
Yeah, this. Why are you in every single thread about pregnancy? We know you think that pregnant women are disgusting, and that vaginas are no longer sexy after having babies. What is your obsession with reading and making rude comments on here?
After carrying and loving your unborn baby for 10 months, the last of your worries as a mom are holding a "gross" baby
After carrying and loving your unborn baby for 10 months, the last of your worries as a mom are holding a "gross" baby
Congrats RTH!!!
I think often women are pressured into things and remember it as a good birthing experience because they don't realize those things were NOT needed and now that they have a baby, it kind of just fades into the background. (and I include myself in this.....if I didnt have a doula things wouldve been much worse and my first c-section was definitely at least partially needed because of the few interventions I did cave on and this is at a natural birth friendly hospital with a very patient OB)
I think often women are pressured into things and remember it as a good birthing experience because they don't realize those things were NOT needed and now that they have a baby, it kind of just fades into the background. (and I include myself in this.....if I didnt have a doula things wouldve been much worse and my first c-section was definitely at least partially needed because of the few interventions I did cave on and this is at a natural birth friendly hospital with a very patient OB)
Yeah, your WHOLE mind and attitude usually shifts during labor and delivery. I am a very modest person in many ways...just very uncomfortable with people seeing my body. My friends made fun of me because when trying on wedding dresses in the big room I kept my clothes on underneath
When in full blown labor at home, I was walking around naked for HOURS in front of my mom, husband, midwife, and doula...no qualms lol. I stood in the shower for hours with my husband holding me up and my midwife force feeding me soup lol. Things I thought were gross or inconceivable to do before all changed. Labor often makes you very, well, primal. My first this didnt happen as it was an induction and very "managed". I didnt get the epidural for about 20 hours after the pitocin but I was very shut down emotionally already being hooked up to machines and "in bed" etc.
And yah, the vernix and goo is nothing compared to throw up, poop blow outs, on and on and on
When in full blown labor at home, I was walking around naked for HOURS in front of my mom, husband, midwife, and doula...no qualms lol. I stood in the shower for hours with my husband holding me up and my midwife force feeding me soup lol. Things I thought were gross or inconceivable to do before all changed. Labor often makes you very, well, primal. My first this didnt happen as it was an induction and very "managed". I didnt get the epidural for about 20 hours after the pitocin but I was very shut down emotionally already being hooked up to machines and "in bed" etc.
And yah, the vernix and goo is nothing compared to throw up, poop blow outs, on and on and on
I don't know if vaginas are still sexy after having babies, I haven't been able to check it out yet. Word on the street is I won't be having a look see any time soon either
BUT, I can tell you the woman it belongs to becomes a whole lot sexier.
BUT, I can tell you the woman it belongs to becomes a whole lot sexier.
And the second part...hell yeah! <3
I get what you're saying with this but I feel like it invalidates other people's experiences. I'm sure that's not how you meant it but it's hard for me not take it that way (as someone who had a great experience in the hospital complete with medical interventions).
"Well she says it was a good experience but she just doesn't remember." "She says it was a good experience but that's just because she forgot what it's really like." "She says it was a good experience but that's because she doesn't know any better."
I agree that a lot of things fade after you are through the labor/birth ordeal but the people I know who have had bad experiences? They're really vocal about how bad they were.
"Well she says it was a good experience but she just doesn't remember." "She says it was a good experience but that's just because she forgot what it's really like." "She says it was a good experience but that's because she doesn't know any better."
I agree that a lot of things fade after you are through the labor/birth ordeal but the people I know who have had bad experiences? They're really vocal about how bad they were.
Not the case for all - and again, I am including myself in this. Many women have wonderful births...I know plenty that do BUT, many women are also pushed into interventions and procedures they don't need. When the outcome is overall positive, IMO for many some of the bad fades. Its overall a good experience but that still doesnt mean that the hospital was necessarily totally supportive or there was no pressure.
Same with pregnancy...I dont feel it invalidates those that truly love to be pregnant to recognize that others remember it being great but had rough times. I was shocked in my second pregnancy by how annoying I often found it, how sick I got, etc...and my DH just laughed. He said "uh you had the same issues the first time or do you not remember"....until I thought about it, I didnt.
Again, the point of this is when looking at the numbers and statistics there is a subset of women who remember things a bit different or don't necessarily realize the unneeded things done, etc. And thats ok, nothing wrong with that either. But when saying that most hospitals are supportive and no pressure, I dont feel that is accurate
BUT, many women are also pushed into interventions and procedures they don't need. When the outcome is overall positive, IMO for many some of the bad fades. Its overall a good experience but that still doesnt mean that the hospital was necessarily totally supportive or there was no pressure. Same with pregnancy...I dont feel it invalidates those that truly love to be pregnant to recognize that others remember it being great but had rough times. I was shocked in my second pregnancy by how annoying I often found it, how sick I got, etc...and my DH just laughed. He said "uh you had the same issues the first time or do you not remember"....until I thought about it, I didnt.
Again, the point of this is when looking at the numbers and statistics there is a subset of women who remember things a bit different or don't necessarily realize the unneeded things done, etc. And thats ok, nothing wrong with that either. But when saying that most hospitals are supportive and no pressure, I dont feel that is accurate
I guess I feel like often people who dont want pressure or hospital interventions are invalidated a bit too sometimes. It goes both ways and everyone experiences things differently. What one considers low pressure someone else may consider high...what one considers low intervention someone else may consider over managed, etc.
I agree that nowadays, there are lots of unnecessary C-sections (I think they call it "elective or scheduled" C-section).
Katie was born via an emergency C-section, so when I got pregnant again, the doctor automatically suggested/assumed another C-section. His reason being the old scar could be torn/damaged during natural birth and causes problems. I declined. I told him that I wouldn't mind having another C-section, but feel weird about "picking a date" for my daughter's birth (elective C-sections are normally scheduled 1 week before due date), so I want to wait for when labor starts naturally, then when I get to the hospital, he can deliver the baby via C-section if he wants
TiTi was born vaginally minutes after I arrived to the hospital san drugs (because it was too late!). I read all about 1st, 2nd & 3rd stages of labor, but mine started with the 4th stage right away without any notices. On the way to the hospital worrying that I wouldn't be able to make it there on time, I kinda regret not listening to my doc to schedule for the C-section and avoid all the excruciating pains/worries.
I'm glad I got to experience both the C-section and natural birth, but in the end, as long as the baby arrives safely, it doesn't really matter the way through which he was born.
ETA, I received excellent care both times at 2 different hospitals (I chose to do this so I can compare between the two, just for the sake of curiosity). I wouldn't give birth anywhere else but hospital, for the peace of mind that should an emergency arises, they're fully equipped to deal with it right away.
Katie was born via an emergency C-section, so when I got pregnant again, the doctor automatically suggested/assumed another C-section. His reason being the old scar could be torn/damaged during natural birth and causes problems. I declined. I told him that I wouldn't mind having another C-section, but feel weird about "picking a date" for my daughter's birth (elective C-sections are normally scheduled 1 week before due date), so I want to wait for when labor starts naturally, then when I get to the hospital, he can deliver the baby via C-section if he wants
TiTi was born vaginally minutes after I arrived to the hospital san drugs (because it was too late!). I read all about 1st, 2nd & 3rd stages of labor, but mine started with the 4th stage right away without any notices
. On the way to the hospital worrying that I wouldn't be able to make it there on time, I kinda regret not listening to my doc to schedule for the C-section and avoid all the excruciating pains/worries. I'm glad I got to experience both the C-section and natural birth, but in the end, as long as the baby arrives safely, it doesn't really matter the way through which he was born.
ETA, I received excellent care both times at 2 different hospitals (I chose to do this so I can compare between the two, just for the sake of curiosity). I wouldn't give birth anywhere else but hospital, for the peace of mind that should an emergency arises, they're fully equipped to deal with it right away.
Frankly, I don't disagree that newborns look a bit icky covered in goo (and I don't dislike kids or babies at all, we may have one yet). The stuff on pretty much any mammal after being birthed is icky and slimy. Never touched a new born baby human, but I have cleared the sac away the the nostrils of a baby horse, and while it was a cool experience, it was also a slimy one. Birth involves body fluids, and it's OK to say that you are not a fan of the particular body fluids involved.
My sister in law had an accidental home birth last year. She didn't realize she was progressing that quickly and literally had our nephew in the bathroom if their home. My husband's (her older brother) reaction when his mom called him with the news was "Wow, I bet that was messy!"
My sister in law had an accidental home birth last year. She didn't realize she was progressing that quickly and literally had our nephew in the bathroom if their home. My husband's (her older brother) reaction when his mom called him with the news was "Wow, I bet that was messy!"
