I agree with the meeting with a counselor. And even if he won't go, you should go yourself. It will make a world of difference for you in how to process and handle his behavior.
I am only going to throw this out there because it happened to me and I NEVER saw it coming. And I thought for years that my husband was either bipolar or had a major personality disorder because of his extreme mood swings and they way he treated me sometimes.
Is there ANY way he might have a drug problem/substance abuse problem he is keeping from you? My husband and I were living together for almost 6 years before we got married. I dealt with a lot of the same behaviors, as well as his extreme paranoia to the point of rediculousness. One week, yes, one week after we got home from our honeymoon, it all came to head and he went to rehab. I never saw it coming. I felt lied to, cheated on, and didn't trust him at all. It took some time for us to recover from it, and a lot of counseling for me, but we are still together, and happier than ever. And yes, I trust him again with all of my heart.
In the end, when some of my close friends and family members found out, they said they suspected it too. I grew up in a family with so much alcohol abuse and so much dysfunction that I think I was in denial about it because looking back, all the signs were there and it could have been really obvious to me. Hindsight is always clearer. I only had one friend who ever said something to me and it was a few days before he went into rehab. Of course when she asked me, I said there was no way. And I honestly thought our life was somewhat normal because it wasn't much different than my life growing up with an alcoholic father. I didn't know any other normal really.
I still didn't even know about the drugs until a few days after he was in rehab and he basically came clean to me and his dad. He was always scared I would leave him because I had no tolerance for it. But I stood by his side for as long as he showed me he was working to get better. We just celebrated 12 years together last month!
I am only going to throw this out there because it happened to me and I NEVER saw it coming. And I thought for years that my husband was either bipolar or had a major personality disorder because of his extreme mood swings and they way he treated me sometimes.
Is there ANY way he might have a drug problem/substance abuse problem he is keeping from you? My husband and I were living together for almost 6 years before we got married. I dealt with a lot of the same behaviors, as well as his extreme paranoia to the point of rediculousness. One week, yes, one week after we got home from our honeymoon, it all came to head and he went to rehab. I never saw it coming. I felt lied to, cheated on, and didn't trust him at all. It took some time for us to recover from it, and a lot of counseling for me, but we are still together, and happier than ever. And yes, I trust him again with all of my heart.
In the end, when some of my close friends and family members found out, they said they suspected it too. I grew up in a family with so much alcohol abuse and so much dysfunction that I think I was in denial about it because looking back, all the signs were there and it could have been really obvious to me. Hindsight is always clearer. I only had one friend who ever said something to me and it was a few days before he went into rehab. Of course when she asked me, I said there was no way. And I honestly thought our life was somewhat normal because it wasn't much different than my life growing up with an alcoholic father. I didn't know any other normal really.
I still didn't even know about the drugs until a few days after he was in rehab and he basically came clean to me and his dad. He was always scared I would leave him because I had no tolerance for it. But I stood by his side for as long as he showed me he was working to get better. We just celebrated 12 years together last month!