Do you want kids?

Just popping in to add my congrats to RTH on the new addition

I would much rather have my baby in a hospital. I want to know that there is the staff and equipment available in case something were to go wrong. No, birth in and of itself is not a medical emergency but giving birth is definitely a medical risk, and it used to be very common for women to die during child birth.

While the c-section rate may be too high, it is important to remember that there are definitely situations were that intervention is necessary to either save the babies life or proper brain function. I have a cousin that is severely mentally handicapped due to a lack of oxygen in a situation where she should have been delivered by c-section. I was breach--the doctor tried to manually turn me but was unable to and my mom had a c-section.

I trust my OB, and will keep them if we decide to have a kid. I absolutely believe in being well informed on childbirth, but if I didn't trust my doctor enough to advise me on something as serious as a c-section, I wouldn't trust them enough to be my doctor, period.

ETA: One thing that bothers me a lot that seems to be a trend in the "natural parenting" movement is the assumption that a mother that chooses a hospital birth, with an epideral, etc., is simply not informed of her other options. There seems to be little room for the idea that perhaps said hospital birthing mother did her homework and decided this was the best route for her and her baby.

I also am very modest... but I delivered my daughter before the nurses even had time to put the hospital gown on me, so I was completely naked during the entire time!! No ones realized this until after the baby was safely in my arms and started nursing. By this time, my husband already took tons of pictures of us... It was when I reviewed the picture that I was like, "uh ... can I please have a gown on?" :rofl1:

I think I am also extra paranoid becuse family and friends have issues themselves or their kids do from not getting help.

My first lesson of stuff goes wrong and happens to good people was when I was really young and learned the relative in Kentucky who was elderly but acted like a baby had problems with delivery. I still think that stuck in my head so much that was why I didn't want kids for years. My moms friend had a daughter we babysat tht was also oxygen deprived and brain damaged severely and its terrifying. It's something you can't control.

My cousins son got cord wrapped and was in distress yet he was trapped under her rib cage when they went to do the c section. Tense minutes but he is ok.

I keep telling myself that one grandma birthed ten and great grandma eighteen. I can do this !!!! Lol!

When this is the most mainstream option, it is not incorrect to assume that most people do it because they are uneducated. I do not know the exact statistics, but I do imagine over 50% of women who give birth in a hospital do it because they think it is the only option/have not researched other options whatsoever.

With any topic like this, unless I know someone well enough to know they are making an educated decision, it's hard not to assume that they are making one based on lack of research/education. Just like when someone posts "getting a new puppy!" on facebook. I automatically assume they didn't do their research and aren't getting one from a good source because statistically, most people don't.

I, personally, am not going to SAY that I think it's an uneducated decision, but I may ask as tactfully as possible why/how they came to that decision. If it's a topic I care enough about. XD

See... I think that's a shame that people think that mothers should answer for how they came to the conclusion to have a hospital birth and that if they didn't educate themselves up to someone else's standard then they are free game for tsk tsking.

I had a hospital birth. I trusted and liked my OB, I loved the hospital that we chose to go to (while not the closest hospital). Small and intimate hospital with a good cash payment option because I didnt' have insurance at the time.

I was induced. I was overdue and had an ultrasound that determined that my fluid was low. Thank GOD they induced me because turns out I had a very slow leak and had TWO infections in the placenta and Hannah was basically born with Pneumonia. We didn't realize it until a day after she was born but she was definitely showing signs of respiratory distress at birth but it wasn't in your face obvious. The night nurse checked her vitals when I got up to breastfeed her and noticed that she was struggling to breathe and her oxygen stats were low.

My labor was 15 hours from the start of the Pitocin drip to the time of delivery and I pushed for only 18 minutes. Very easy labor and the epidural worked well for me. After getting the epidural I started to dilate much quicker than I had been all day.

So sometimes someone does the same research and comes to a different conclusion than the next person

If you don't know the exact stats and are just imagining a number, how is that not an incorrect assumption? Don't you need actual numbers to come to any conclusions and then decide if it's correct or not?

In 2010 just shy of 99% of US births - of which there were nearly 4 MILLION - took place in hospitals.
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr61/nvsr61_01.pdf

By your imagined number of over 50%, you're saying 2 million+ women gave birth in a hospital simply because they're ignorant.

Yikes.


Agreed. This is exactly what silly sally was talking about. If somebody comes to a different conclusion than the one you have decided is correct, they are automatically assumed to be stupid?
Yikes.

I don't think I'm following things correctly tonight. :/

I'm one of those people that would be all 'GIVE ME A C-SECTION!' Thinking about pushing anything out of my vagina is ... UGH to me. I've had a few friends that have HAD c-sections that feel the same way and they're glad. Not to mention, my mom (47yrs old) just had to have her rectum (which was falling out the front) and her bladder put back into place in a major surgery because of having kids :rofl1: I keep telling her I'm never having babies now after seeing what she is going through...

Who gives a crap how anyone else chose to have THEIR baby, anyway? Especially after it's all over?

People often forget a c-section is a major surgery with a long recovery and much higher chance of serious injury or death than vaginal birth. Yes, vaginal births can and do cause injury, but comparing the two, much less (plus the drugs used for c-section do cross the placenta and there is risk to baby as well)

Again, I had 2 c sections...they certainly have their place.

Another big factor people dont realize is how important it is to go into labor naturally if at all possible....babies and mamas both do better when the body produces the correct hormones and responses even if it ends up c-section. one example is post partum depression is greatly affected by this.

If I were to get pregnant again (NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!) I would likely get a c-section. After 2 long labors (36 and 32 hours of full on labor) with my body being a pita and the babies not coming down at all...but i would NOT schedule it...it would happen when I naturally went into labor meaning baby and I am ready

(and YES, of course sometimes inductions are very necessary, but more often they are not)

But it's so FUN to judge people for their personal decisions. Because THINK OF THE CHILDREN.

Discussion isnt judging either. Stating statistics and worrying about the bigger picture (which maternal care and child birth is awful here in the US compared to other countries) is not the same as saying "you are horrible for making this decision".

My friends and I discuss childbirth a lot, most of us are very natural minded and very outspoken. None of them judged me for transporting to a hospital to get an epidural, we dont judge our friend who got scheduled a c-section because her last labor and delivery were extremely hard and this time she was doing it alone (her husband was cheating and she found out like 2 weeks before she was due). I think sometimes people assume there is judgement where there is none?

And yes, when you have many new moms really struggling with issues from their labor and delivery you want to make sure others have all the information they can get.

Honestly I don't get all the birthing/parenting debates. It seems like that happens every time people post about babies or giving birth? And I definitely have seen people in real life and online bullied about not choosing to do something the 'crunchy' way or up to someone else's standards. Imo, not your kid, not your decision.

THIS ^^^ is why I don't want kids. I have friends who have also had to have this surgery ... No just ... No. I will stick to animals thanks.

I have a lot of respect for anyone else who wants to take this journey ... You are a stronger person than me!

Edit: so people saying that "pushing anything out of their vag's is gross" multiple times is ok but saying (not in a belittling way mind you). While I have never had human birthing experience, I have birthed PLENTY of dogs and horses, and I was merely drawing a parallel that while birth is a cool experience, it's because of those experiences that I always have a change of clothes in my truck lol.

I have made the effort and have turned myself around and still I get "you can't post here or there because you have opinions" and I have to say that that sucks :/

might I add that the points I mentioned are ABOUT ME and reflect negatively ON ME, not anyone else in fact I ENVY those who do because they are a stronger person then I am.

A friend of mine was having trouble with her third baby breastfeeding. She had two kids and breastfed fine and she thought it would be no big deal, but it just wasn't working. The kid wouldn't latch. She worked with her midwife and her doctor and asked other moms and tried all kinds of different things, and at least once a day she sat and cried because she felt like she was a failure as a mother if she wasn't going to being able to breastfeed - and those feelings were absolutely reinforced by other people who insisted she "just wasn't trying hard enough," and also, if she didn't find a way and breastfeed her baby, her baby was going to be all KINDS of stupid and sick and socially screwed up and on and on.
I am ABSOLUTELY for breastfeeding.
I am also 100% against making somebody feel like *$(@ if they can't.

There's a HUGE difference between a discussion and belittling, calling somebody uneducated, telling them if something isn't working they just aren't trying hard enough, and generally insisting that One Way is the ONLY Way.

You're very, very fortunate if you've never seen this happen.

Up until like last week I was one of those happy glowy what could people dislike about being pregnant people. Then I woke up one am and feet so big no shoes fit and my face and every other bit of me is swollen. Dr got it somewhat under control but this time around going into it naturally is not going to happen. her goal is to at least get me to monday but at this point I am so miserable I am sure its not good for me or the baby.


I don't care what they have to do in the end to keep us safe. I told dr do it and I trust them.

I've pretty much always wanted to have kids. Was never a girly girl, didn't play with dolls, hell I played little league baseball with the boys. Always liked and wanted kids. Almost 32 now and still single so don't know if kids will realistically be in my future. Time will tell. Maybe I'll end up trying to foster/adopt older kids later in life if I don't end up having my own, maybe not.

If and when I have kids it will happen in a hospital with an epidural. I've even had an epidural before for a lung surgery, it was quite nice really.

I've got one older brother who is 2 years 11 months older and we've always been close. Fought like hell with each other but even then were still close. Now we live together, bought a house together almost four years ago. Still annoy the hell out of each other at times but we agree on all the important things.

Alcohol with winter green is really good for taking swelling out but this stuff is the best: http://www.summitlabsinc.com/epsomsalt.html if you can find it. Also the ice gel stuff also works great but it's really really cold!

Alcohol with winter green is really good for taking swelling out but this stuff is the best: http://www.summitlabsinc.com/epsomsalt.html if you can find it. It also gives you an excuse to ask your hubby for a nice ankle/ foot massage

Also the ice gel stuff also works great but it's really really cold!