What would you do if this happened to you?

[silverpawz]

I have a dear friend who recently lost her job, and her car was reposessed as a result. She has zero transportation, but she did manage to get a part time job working at a fast food place and she pays a servcie a few dollars each day to take her to work.

She's a month behind on her rent and just got the eviction notice yesterday. She has approx. $400 to her name right now. She could use this to pay her rent and not get evicted, or she could take someone up on their offer to buy a car for $300.

She doesn't know what to do. On one hand I told her to get the car because then she can find a better job and in turn make enough money to pay her rent. On the other hand I wonder how she'll manage if she does get evicted? She has no family, and no friends she can stay with. I'd let her stay here but she has a dog that's dog-aggressive and I can't have that in my house right now.

Paying the rent now seems like a bandaid solution since she's going to have the same problem next month, and still no car. But getting a car now would mean she'll have no way to pay the rent and will probably be out on the street with her dog.

She's been to see family assitance but get this, you'll love it, they said they cannot help her pay her rent because she cannot prove she'll be able to pay it next month...so she's too poor for them to help her or give her any financial assitance. They would find her a rental based on her inome but they don't allow pets and she refuses to give up her dog. She gets food stamps though so she may be homeless, but she'l have plenty of food to cart around.

What the heck would YOU do if you found yourself in this situation, stuck between a rock and a hard place? (and pelase, don't say it would never happen to you. If you're rich, keep that to yourself, lol)

I don't know what to tell her. I wish i could help her more but I'm not sure what to do...it's just a sad situation all around.

 

[MomOf7]

I would get the car. I have been homeless before that was many many moons ago. She could operate out of her car untill she can save enough money to get a new place. Thats a tough spot to be in. I hope she can find a way to get the car and keep her place. Maybe give $50 for rent untill she can make another payment. Sometimes just making a small gesture will save your buttocks.
I hope everything works out for her!

 

[poodlesmom]

OK, I have the opposite opinion of MomOf7. Having a roof over one's head is, in my opinion, a basic necessity. I don't know what part of the country she lives in but there's a good chance the weather will be changing and not be conducive to living in one's car. Having a car is great but not a solution to a money problem. A car costs alot more money than the initial purchase. There is insurance, gas and maintenance and I'm willing to bet if it is only going to cost her $300 that necessary maintenance isn't too far off in the future.

I would concentrate on keeping my apartment and continue with my part-time job while looking for either a full-time job or a 2nd part time job. I would continue trying to build up a nest egg, even if it's only a few bucks at a time. You say she's contacted family assistance. Perhaps there are some churches or community resources she could try also to get some help to get back on her feet.

I wish your friend all the best and will keep her in my prayers.

 

[MomOf7]

OK, I have the opposite opinion of MomOf7. Having a roof over one's head is, in my opinion, a basic necessity. I don't know what part of the country she lives in but there's a good chance the weather will be changing and not be conducive to living in one's car. Having a car is great but not a solution to a money problem. A car costs alot more money than the initial purchase. There is insurance, gas and maintenance and I'm willing to bet if it is only going to cost her $300 that necessary maintenance isn't too far off in the future.

I would concentrate on keeping my apartment and continue with my part-time job while looking for either a full-time job or a 2nd part time job. I would continue trying to build up a nest egg, even if it's only a few bucks at a time. You say she's contacted family assistance. Perhaps there are some churches or community resources she could try also to get some help to get back on her feet.

I wish your friend all the best and will keep her in my prayers.

You have a good point. I was hoping that she could save up the money faster being more mobile and able to have more than one job. I dunno? Its really hard to say without being in her position.

 

[silverpawz]

A car costs alot more money than the initial purchase. There is insurance, gas and maintenance and I'm willing to bet if it is only going to cost her $300 that necessary maintenance isn't too far off in the future.

I didn't even think of that, but you're right. I don't know how she'd pay for that stuff either. So she'd basically have a car she couldn't drive because of no insurrance or plates...sigh.

I would get the car. I have been homeless before that was many many moons ago. She could operate out of her car untill she can save enough money to get a new place.

I've been homeless too years ago and had to live out of my car for a few weeks with my dogs in tow. It was not fun. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but somehow we got through it. I honestly think that if she's forced to live in her car she'll loose all hope. She's very easily depressed and I don't see things getting better for her if that happens, if only because of her own mindset.

You say she's contacted family assistance. Perhaps there are some churches or community resources she could try also to get some help to get back on her feet.

Churches won't help pay rent here. They told her that it would "take all their funds", The salvation army won't help her either because they have no money left this month, which the church guy said was bull because they get government money.

So, basically no one will help her. The agencies and groups that are set up for that sort of thing have all turned her away because of lack of income on ehr part, her dog, or 'not having enough money to help'.

I just feel so frustrated for her. What are these places here for if not to help someone who truly needs it?

 

[Gempress]

I would definately say the rent. She's managing without a car for right now. It will hurt her more in the long run to have an eviction on her credit.

 

[MyIrishWolfie]

I would get the car and find a roomate.. craigslist is great for finding roomates.. especially if she lives in a big city.

 

[nancy2394]

yeah, but she is desperate and may end up like that single white female movie about a roommate from hell.

The job is the most important. I too have been homeless before. I lived out of a uhaul truck for a while and we broke into vacant apartments and slept on the floor when it was too cold outside. We also spent a few nights on and off in a shelter. She doesn't want to have to go through that.. it wasn't fun. And having a dog will make it that much harder.

Have her talk to her landlord and explain her circumstances. Maybe she can work out a deal with him so she can get the car and keep her apartment. Besides... does't an eviction take a while to be carried out.. it might buy her some time if she can find a job quickly.

Landlords are people too... her's might have some compassion for her situation if she's been in good standing with them until now.

The other thing I thought of was for her to find a full time job and see if anyone that works there lives by her and she could throw them a few bucks for gas to let her commute with them. That's what my hubby does right now because we only have one vehicle.

I wish her luck, it's not a good situation to be in. And it is very easy to fall into a depression having to endure a tough situation like this.

 

[MyIrishWolfie]

Maybe a church could help her... or womens shelter??

 

[nancy2394]

she said the churches in their area didn't have the funds. And a women's shelter would help her, but I'm afraid they'd turn her away with the dog. Her best bet will be to keep the apartment she has. Winter time is coming and I would not want to be homeless in the winter.

And like someone said earlier... getting evicted could hurt her in the long run. Most rental places require previous rental references. Most landlords want to check into what kind of a renter and what their history of paying is before they let them move into their rental property.

If her landlord is unwilling to work with her on the rent.....It might be tough, but if she could not get fulltime employment where she is now... she might have to get another part time job and have to walk to work. It would be a temporary situation until she could afford to get caught up on her bills, purchase a car and get car insurance and tags and all the other stuff that goes along with a vehicle.

 

[Dizzy]

Car - and let her sleep on your floor

 

[nancy2394]

Hey, you said she could have stayed with you but she has a dog aggressive dog. Well... if it was just a temporary situation until she could get back on her feet.... why couldn't her dog be seperated in another room away from your dog? I've seperated my dogs from my cats before and it was not a big deal. Her dog could be in a kennel when you guys weren't home. Then she could take him for long walks to get him out and stretch when she comes home.

It's just a thought. That way she could continue working and looking for a full time job with better pay and look for a car at the same time.

 

[Gillian]

Maybe there's someone on here who doesn't live too far away who won't mind helping with a foster home for the dog until she has herself settled? Then she would be able to stay with you, at least for a little while?

 

[silverpawz]

She won't crate her dog, or should I say her dog cannot be crated without pitching a huge fit and often hurting himself. He's just not used to being confined at all and honestly, I don't have the time to deal with that.

This dog has seriously injured another dog in her neighborhood already, he's dead serious about his threats, and while he's a perfectly nice dog to people, he's not one that I want in my house.

If she had control voer him, then maybe, but that isn't the case.

I wish there was a way I could make it work for her to stay here, but I won't risk my own dog's safety. If it was just a matter of crateing her dog I'd be fine with it. But the way he is would mean he'd have to be in a sepreate room, and what if someone left the door open...not a risk I'm willing to take.

 

[nancy2394]

Oohhh... I see. I would be afraid too. I didn't realize he couldn't be in a crate. Well, gillian had a wonderful idea... maybe her dog could be fostered for the short time she'd need to get back on her feet and then she could stay with you.

 

[bonster]

Its obviously difficult to say something not being close to the situation or aware of all the facts - but the car --- insurance, gas etc --- with only 100$ and small income left - doesnt sound like a good idea. And what if it breaks? With respect, its a very cheap car... How about hunting for a full time job in a car hired (if that's cheap) or better yet borrowed for a day or two?

 

[Buckshot]

I think I have lost more friends by helping them than any other way. I have learned to never lend them money, give them money instead, that way you arent angry when you dont get it back. If they do insist on paying it back later, you know you have a real friend on your hands.

What is this persons background? Why no family? Any addictions? Is this person normally ambitious and self reliant? Will you be cursed if you do nothing to help? Will you be cursed by her if you give her the shirt off your back. If she isnt working would she be willing to do the chores around your house to help out?

 

[silverpawz]

What is this persons background? Why no family? Any addictions? Is this person normally ambitious and self reliant?

She had a steady job and was laid off. No addictions. She has family but they don't speak anymore. So no family is probably a better description. Some people just don't have family they can rely on. She's a good person who just got caught in a string of unfortunate circumstances.

I agree with you on not lending money, but having it be a gift instead. I've given her money for her water bill last month that was going to be turned off and she did pay me back a small portion already without me even having to ask. If I had the money to help her with her rent I would give it to her in a heartbeat, but I don't really have extra money of that amount layng around.

Finding a foster home for the dog is a great idea! I'll call around to some rescues for her tomorrow and see if they can help. Maybe if I offer to pay for the dog's expenses (food. that I can afford) they'll take him in for a month or so.

 

[Gillian]

Good luck Silverpawz! I'm holding thumbs that everything works out for your friend and her pup. I'm sure though that with a friend as good as you obviously are, she will be fine. Just know that whatever you give out, you will receive so much more in return. Anyone would be lucky to have a friend like you.

Gillian

 

[Debi]

I'd pay the rent, and try to find a second job. the car does sound like it's not something that's going to be in good working order, that's why it's $300. and, I'd want a bathroom with a shower so that I could look presentable when searching for one good job again. I hope it works out for her. it's so terrible to be in that situation.