Thinking of giving away my puppy

[deeleigh]

I feel incredibly guilty even writing this, but i'm contemplating giving my puppy back to the breeder or to a new home.

I knew puppies were a lot of work before I got her, and I decided I'd put the effort in. But she's more than I can handle right now! I can't tell if she just requires a lot of training, or if it's me that's the problem (most likely). She's a sweet girl, but she definitely has a willful personality and way too much energy that I can't reasonably give her enough exercise or attention. I've only had her a week so i don't know if i'm just incredibly overwhelmed or if this was a mistake and if it would be better for her to give her a better home.

I'm giving her all my free time right now, all the attention and training I can. But I still don't feel like it's enough. I'm thinking of contacting the breeder to ask her to take her back (I don't care about the money I spent) or finding a good home for her while she's still a puppy on my own.

Any advice?

 

[Zoom]

If the breeder is willing to take her back (and they should be if their any good) the dog probably HAS to go back to them anyway as stipulated in the contract; assuming there is/was one.

What breed is she and how old?

 

[deeleigh]

She's a Pekingese, 10 weeks old. Beautiful and so sweet sometimes. I thought a good apartment dog but maybe no dog belongs with a single person in an apartment who works 10 hours a day. I've only had her a week though--am I overreacting?

 

[Zoom]

Possibly; it takes at least two weeks for them to really begin to settle in and six weeks for the bonding process to 'finish' (though it never really does, but six weeks allows for a pretty firm bond to develop).

Call up the breeder anyway, they should be more than willing to give you some advice, or at least some encouragement.

 

[blue]

10 hours alone at 10 weeks might be a bit much. Can a neighbour let the dog out or walk it while you are working?

 

[deeleigh]

Well I have her on wee wee pads so she doesn't have to hold it in, but I think she just has too much energy. She has a whole large kitchen during the day, I gated it off, but still when I get home she can be manic. It's gotten to the point where she is chewing her wee wee pads, and tonight I gave her a bath and she hated it and afterward was very agressive towards me. I know this just requires patience and tons of time and work, I just feel I don't have it. I feel so tremendously guilty though, because she is beautiful and can be sweet and I should have known it would be this much work.

But then I think if it's better for her to find a better home, then it'd be selfish to keep her out of guilt. I just dont' know how to decide.

I also called a trainer today and have a session with them on Friday. I'm trying to do all the right things, but I think that I shouldn't feel the way I feel. Which is that, when she's acting this way and simply requiring more attention and care, that I don't think I can do it. I should feel like I can and want to right?

 

[Zoom]

I think what Blue was getting at is that the puppy needs more interaction during the day, not so much about the potty training. Is there a doggy daycare you could take her to or a neighborhood dog walker than can help you out?

 

[deeleigh]

Oh, I know there is daycare but it's about 30 bucks a day and I couldn't afford it. Which is probably a terrible reason to not give a dog what she needs, but I just can't afford an extra 600 bucks a month. A dog walker might be cheaper but not by that much.

She is so sweet and loveable I know I'd miss her so, it's really hard to figure out what the right thing to do is here.

 

[blue]

I got Bluedawg a 6 weeks, he has some socialization with dogs and people. I did have roommates with varying scheduals that got him outside to do his business so he didnt spend more than 4 hours without ineraction or at least going outside. He is better adjusted that the roommates dog that is about 6 months older.

Not sure if the above helped but I tried.

 

[deeleigh]

Thanks to both of you. The more I think about this the more i think it's probably not fair to the puppy for me to keep her in this situation. I just don't have the time or resources to give her what she needs. I would give her lots of love but puppies need more than love.

I know people in apartments who have dogs and have no problem but I don't see how this could work when I'm already so stressed out to my wits end and she's just doing what comes naturally to her. I'm going to contact the breeder in the morning but if she won't help for whatever reason, any suggestions? She's only 10 weeks old and gorgeous, but I'd like to make sure she ends up in the right home and not the same situation as I put her in again.

 

[dr2little]

It really sounds like you've already decided what's best for you and the pup. Better now than later if you are going to return her so that she can start off on the "right paw" with a new family while she's so young. She is at a pretty delicate time in her development so you must make sure that whatever you do, it's done with as little stress to this wee creature. You're doing the best thing for her in the long run if it's truly not the right time for you to have a puppy. You're smart not to wait any longer.

 

[moe]

I think it was a big mistake getting this pup in the first place, being out 10 hours a day makes a very lonely puppy, of course the pup is going to be manic when you get home, its happy that someone is finally going to interact with it, I am surprised the breeder actually sold the pup to you knowing you were out so long during the day? I would personally ask the breeder to take the pup back and find it a good home, somewhere that its owners can spend time with it. and to be honest until your situation changes I would hold off getting ANY dog. JMHO

Mo

 

[taratippy]

Do most breeders let puppies go to homes where someone will be out for 10 hours a day?

 

[deeleigh]

I know most people here in NYC that have dogs are probably gone from them for that long, but maybe they all do doggie day care? I thought this breed was a good apartment dog as they don't need much exercise and my best friend has one that was always fine with the limited amount of people and outside time. But this puppy is different, like every dog is different I guess.

Thanks to all of you for your advice. I've contacted the breeder and hopefully will find a new home for the little girl. She is so sweet and I do love her, it's heartbreaking but she needs a better situation than this.

 

[Fran27]

I'm thinking this wasn't a very good breeder if he let a puppy go to someone who works 10 hours a day. Heck I wouldn't even let an adult dog with someone who works that long, especially in an apartment. Have you tried holding for 10 hours? For a puppy, it means that she will probably never be housebroken, and that she will probably lack training and socialization.

My new job requires me to leave the dogs about 9-10 hours a day alone also two to four times a week, they are both housebroken and I still frequently find accidents when I come back (always next to the back door though, and mostly when they have diarrhea). That, plus I feel extremely guilty, but it's just temporary at least (my boss just doesn't get it). I would never consider getting a new dog in these circumstances, especially not a puppy.

 

[moe]

Well I certainly wouldnt, when we were getting our list together of potential owners, one of the requirements were that at least one of the family were at home, and not away for more than 4 hours, reason for this is simple, how can you train a puppy if you are not there, and particularly in my breed training and socialisation is imperative.

Mo

 

[deeleigh]

Well she goes on wee wee pads so she doesn't have to hold it, but I do understand what the rest of you are saying about being alone. That's why I'm trying to find her a new home. But I do know a lot of people with dogs (and not small dogs like mine) who are gone for work all day. Is it really that uncommon? I've learned now from experience that it's not fair to a puppy, or any dog really, but I do know a lot of people who are gone for work all day and their dogs are home alone.

 

[Fran27]

Well frankly I think the dogs are better off in a house alone during the day than in a shelter. But I think 10 hours is a bit too much, even if 8 hours is just fine IMO. It's just impossible to train a puppy in those conditions (I've been there too).

 

[girlbuffalo1]

Is there...

It seems you are set on finding your puppy a better home which is good however during your 10 hours at work do you get a lunch you could come home for? Perhaps even split your lunch to come home twice? Could you bring her to work and keep her crated somewhere safe? Or maybe do you have a friend who lives closer to work (if you live to far away) where you could keep her and come visit her at least once during the day for potty and a walk/play?
My puppy (although he is now approaching 14 weeks) does just fine (I work 9 hours) as long as I come home for an hour (my lunch) around 1 and have him go potty (he is crated) and play and go for a walk.

 

[Pomp]

10 hours alone at 10 weeks might be a bit much. Can a neighbour let the dog out or walk it while you are working?

I also work 10 hours a day and have two young dogs (2 years old). I have a dogwalker walk them two times a day while I'm gone, each walk is an hour long. The first walk is from 10am-11am and the second walk is from 2:30pm-3:30pm. They love it and get great exercise.

Are there any dogwalkers available in your neighborhood?