I could use a hug.

[babymomma]

My friend and I were driving down through town last night and hit a dog. We killed him. I can honestly say that it was the most horrific experience of my life. It was very graphic and just plain, horrible. He was just in too bad of shape to do anything to help him so while trying to contact the vet I knelt next to him and covered him in a blanket and smoothed him down while he passed. We had no idea who owned him or even where to start looking for owners so we brought him to the vet clinic and they said they would hold his body while we tried to find his people. I called the spca today and asked if anybody reported a dog matching his description missing. They knew right away who was missing him and that they were frantic so telling them that he was dead was just .. honestly, there are no words to desvribe the feeling.

Honestly, I was hoping that he belonged to somebody that didn't care about him. I know how horrible that is but knowing that there is a family out there right now grieving over that beautiful dog is just heart wrenching. I keep thinking how I would feel if it were MY dog that it happened to :'(

I figure I had to talk to somebody about it that would understand. Because other then my mom, every body else thinks I am an idiot for caring so much about it. But it is killing me.

I feel like the worst person in the world, and I wasn't even driving the vehicle but I feel im at fault some how.

 

[Fran101]

((HUGS)) It truly is not your fault. Accidents happen.

I once found a dog already dead on the side of the road and stupidly called the number on her collar, a child picked up the phone and like an idiot I said
"Oh umm is your mom home? It's about your dog"
all I could hear was "YAY!! MOMMY!! SOMEBODY FOUND SOPHIE!!"
then had to explain to the parents that yes, I found sophie. But that she is dead and where she was. All the while hearing the kids rejoicing in the background and KNOWING I said an idiotic thing and gave them hope just to take it away.
It's a silly thing. I wasn't responsible (like you aren't) but it bothers me to this day.

being a part of something that you know would really hurt you (like losing a loved pet) of course is going to hurt.
You witnessed an animal dying, which is of couse also a trauma.

It's not bad or worse that you feel bad, it shows you are a caring human being with empathy.
You do your feelings no good by trying to tell yourself they are wrong.. no feeling you have is wrong. They are YOUR feelings and you have every right to just feel them..
let yourself feel what you need to feel.
but KNOW that it wasn't your fault.

It was an unfortunate accident. That's it.

A loose dog, running around at night through a town, I hate to say it but it was bound to happen.
and probably not by someone kind enough to even stop, comfort the dog, and get the body somewhere where the family could have some closure.

(((HUGS)))

 

[crazedACD]

That's really awful to have to experience that.

But..you know..I'm sure the owners of the dog are grateful that you took the time to pick up the body, and to get into contact with them. I'm sure they are grateful the dog isn't 'missing forever', not knowing what happened to it. At least they get some closure, because no doubt if someone in a hurry hit the dog, they wouldn't have stopped.

(HUGS!)

 

[Greenmagick]

That's really awful to have to experience that.

But..you know..I'm sure the owners of the dog are grateful that you took the time to pick up the body, and to get into contact with them. I'm sure they are grateful the dog isn't 'missing forever', not knowing what happened to it. At least they get some closure, because no doubt if someone in a hurry hit the dog, they wouldn't have stopped.

(HUGS!)

This...exactly this.

 

[Cali Mae]

I'm so sorry you had to experience that, but I'm sure that the owners will appreciate the extra lengths you went to... I think any loving owner would.

I know that I worry enough about hitting cat, so I can't imagine what I'd do if I hit a dog. I always get a horrible feeling in my stomach whenever I see a loose dog in the neighborhood. People up the road have a dog who once followed Cali and I across the main road, and once I noticed the dog heading back across the road, I had to hold my breath and almost look away. He was maybe a couple inches from getting hit by a truck.

 

[sillysally]

That's really awful to have to experience that.

But..you know..I'm sure the owners of the dog are grateful that you took the time to pick up the body, and to get into contact with them. I'm sure they are grateful the dog isn't 'missing forever', not knowing what happened to it. At least they get some closure, because no doubt if someone in a hurry hit the dog, they wouldn't have stopped.

(HUGS!)

This. I know the feeling though, I've hit two cats and was devastated both times. Everyone else was like, "Ummm, it was just a cat" but it haunted me that I'd killed them for a long time, even if it was an accident.

(((HUGS))) Just know that it was not your fault and you did a very good thing by giving the owners closure.

 

[Shakou]

When we were in Nevada, we found the remains of a dog out in the desert while hiking. I went home and tried to forget about it, but couldn't. I kept thinking to myself what if that was someone's lost pet. The next day, my husband and I took another hike out there to pick up the remains and drag them close to the road, then when I got home from that morbid task, I posted a found ad about it on craigslist, and a few hours later I got an email from someone who tipped me off about an earlier ad posted by someone who had lost a dog in the same area. I found the ad, and the photo of the lost dog looked like the one we had found. I contacted the owner, hoping they had found their dog and that this wasn't the same one. Their dog was still missing, and after giving them directions to the remains, I got a call later confirming that it was indeed their dog. She was 9 years old and had gone wandering off 3 weeks prior.

It was heart wrenching and I felt awful, but they were grateful to have closure, rather then spending the rest of their lives wondering what ever happened to their beloved dog.

 

[CharlieDog]

I had a similar thing happen to me. It is definitely traumatic. I never could find the owners of the dog I hit. She wasn't wearing a collar or anything, but I left her remains at a vet clinic that I had rushed her to, hoping she could be saved, or had a microchip or SOMETHING, but she didn't.

I think about it still, every time I pass where I hit her. I got rid of the leash I put on her, the blanket I wrapped her in, because it was terrible. She was just standing in the road as I came over a hill though. It still haunts me. I hope to never experience it again.

And I often really wonder if her owners ever found out about her. The not knowing would kill me. I posted an ad on CL, but the area I'm in, not a lot of people around here use CL.

 

[~Tucker&Me~]

I am really sorry that you had to witness that -- please take it to heart when people say it's not your fault because it really wasn't. My cat was hit and killed by a car a year or so ago, and the person who hit her didn't even stop. I found this out because someone happened to witness it and tipped off the local vet who came to get the body. To this day it saddens me to think that the person didn't have enough compassion in their heart to stop and find out if she was dead. If she wasn't, can you imagine just leaving her on the road to get hit again and die alone in pain?

It would have given me immense comfort to find out that the person who hit my pet stopped and eased their fear and pain in their dying moments. I would have been incredibly grateful, as I am sure the owners of the dog you guys hit were to hear you did that for their pet.

I'm sorry *hug*

 

[ES Happiness]

I am so very sorry this happened to you. I cannot imagine the pain you are experiencing. No words can help, but over time, the trauma will lessen. Bless you for caring enough to stop.
I think all of us who love animals so much can name every time we've seen an event such as this because it does leave a scar on our heart.

Every time I see a squirrel dart into the street, I involuntarily SCREAM, "RUN LITTLE SQUIRREL, RUN!!!" Even if I'm on a call. A business call.

Again, bless you and may the Lord heal your heart and the heart of the broken family soon.

 

[babymomma]

Thank you all for the comforting words. It really means a lot to me being able to come here to people that really understand my sorrow and can offer support.

After not being able to get it out of my mind and running through so many different scenarios and "what ifs" through my head I realize that even if we had just rushed him to the vet RIGHT away, he would have died anyways and probably would have just been more stressful on the poor guy. There was no way for him to live, just as there was no way for us to have avoided hitting him. He darted , we had no time.

He is on my mind all of the time but I'm a little less haunted by the thought of him. Everytime he crosses my mind I have to remind myself that the entire situation was out of my control.

I just wish we had decided to head that way just a fraction of a second later and he would have made it across the road unharmed.