What Are Your Dogs Worst Offenses?

[TheDarkestMinds]

Thought this would be a fun topic to discuss. Because as we all know no dog is absolutely perfect .

Morrison has done his fair share of counter surfing. It's a rare occurrence but it happens. His worst offense was probably 2 years ago. It was the night before Thanksgiving and I was working the closing shift at my job at the time. My mom had been doing prep work for Thanksgiving dinner and had decided to bake the pumpkin pie. She pulled it out of the oven and then set it on the stove to cool before she left to pick me up from work.

It was a 30 min drive to my place of work...So we get home...And the house SMELLED like fresh baked pumpkin pie. I walked out into the kitchen and noticed a random cookie sheet face down on the kitchen floor...I thought it was odd and said something about it. My mom then went "Oh my god I let the pie tin sit on the cookie sheet on the stove! Where is the pie?!".

I then looked a couple feet away and see a completely clean pie pan....Not a crumb...Nothing left lmao. Personally I don't like pumpkin pie so I thought the whole situation was pretty funny....My mom not so much...Especially when about 10 minutes after this discovery Morrison barfed up the entire pie...It resembled a pile or orange cow crap. Being the weirdo I am I took a picture and showed everyone how Morrison made his own twist on pumpkin pie. :rofl1:

To this day he has not lived that one down.

His second worst offense also involved food. I am not made of money and can't afford to splurge on special treats for myself. But one day I bought myself a jar of Nutella. I probley got to open and eat some of it once...A few days after purchase I came home from work to find the empty jar on the living room floor.

I was instantly hit with the feeling of anger and fear (because of the cocoa powder used to make it)...But mostly anger because Morrison has had chocolate incidents in the past and never had an issue. And he was perfectly fine after this incident as well. I was shocked he was able to get to it! It was on the second to top shelf in my pantry. So he had to open the pantry doors to get to it. He was sure pleased with himself .

Fae's worst offense....Is pretty gross.

I have always shared my bed with my pets. And with Fae being on the smaller side I worry about her hips and knees so I always provide a small set of steps for her to climb up to my bed...Well she is good at going up them...But at night in the dark she gets kind of unsure of herself.

Now she goes outside 4-5 times a day to potty 2 of which are in the evening before we go to bed. I also keep a pee pad in the hallway outside my room in case she needs to jump down and go potty in the middle of the night.

Well I guess one night she wasn't feeling confident about using her stairs...Because I woke up the next morning find poo just inches from my face. To make things worse some of the poo had been smooshed...So obviously I had rolled in it in my sleep :cry:. My attention then turned to Fae who was frantically trying to bury/hide more of the evidence with my throw blanket...Oh and I almost forgot to mention that my comforter on my bed is white lol.

Needless to say unfortunately Fae doesn't sleep in my bed much anymore. But she loves her new super comfy dog bed. So I guess it is is a win win :dunno:. Or it was just her ploy to get a new dog bed.

Leia hasn't committed any major offenses just yet *knock on wood*. But she is a paper fiend and given the chance she loves to make confetti.

So now it's your turn! Share your dogs worst offenses, serious or funny it doesn't matter. I just like reading everyone's stories.

 

[Julee]

The first night Copper was home, she stole and devoured two steaks off of the counter.

Shadow pooped on my brother her first week home.

 

[krissy]

Man, my dogs are tame in comparison.

Kili is the bad one of my dogs, but she's never even done anything too horrible. She would counter surf if I wasn't so on top of keeping the counters clean and supervising her. Also I sometimes booby trap counter tops and she knows it.

She has to be reminded not to jump up on people sometimes.

Her leash manners are not as great as they could be, but they're pretty decent compared to most dogs I guess.

One time she had diarrhea in her crate. But that wasn't her fault. It just sucked for me to have to clean it up.

She likes to steal paper or coffee cups and shred them.

Summit is practically perfect in every way. He's afraid of things falling from heights (paper off the fridge or counter). He's can be an ass sometimes to the occasional dog that he decides he doesn't like. He hates huskies and would try to rip one apart given half a chance.

Yeah... we don't have fun, naughty stories in this house.

 

[DJEtzel]

Recon had been crate-free at home for somewhere around a year when he decided to devour many hundred dollars worth of Blu Rays one day.

Patton has eaten a camera lens and two pair of my glasses.

Frag ate ~15 lbs worth of Orijen puppy food one week followed by ~800 mg of rimadyl the next week. I still have the stains on my carpet from that.

 

[Fran101]

I used to work at a small doggy petstore, and on Merlin's birthday I threw him a party for all his friends.

He was a monster

He stole 10 doggy pupcakes, he ate EVERYTHING, he pushed over children to try to get into the human birthday cake, he peed on the floor (too excited to ask to go out), he swiped string cheese out of a small child's hand, he kept jumping to pop his balloons and RUINED his decorations, He would NOT STOP BARKING while playing with all his friends.

He was in 20 timeouts, and then would come out again and raise hell.

It was a disaster.
He had so much fun.
He had diarrhea for 2 days.

 

[Laurelin]

My favorite is probably when our papillon friends were boarding our dogs and Trey stole the Christmas turkey and ate most of it before they found him. He was like 12 at the time too. lol

I sat here and literally can not think of a single thing Summer has ever done wrong. Seriously.

Hank's worst offence is farting. But other than that, de-potting the plants and also making it 'snow' paper towels all over my car are both up there.

And Mia... Oh Mia....

Her WORST was definitely pulling my eyeglasses off my bed table and eating them while I was in the shower. She was almost 3 at that time. I got out and couldn't find them. Was totally blind and had to have my dad take off work to take me to get new ones. I had to feel around my room till I found a chewed up lens and then the chewed up frame...

A more recent one is she got on my kitchen counter using my moving boxes and threw everything from my counter onto the floor. Including steak knives and a knife that is 10" long. I'm completely serious. All to get a box that USED to have food in it.

She also knocked the dog food container (plastic Tupperware thing) off the cabinets and spilled it all in my moving boxes.

She also used to poop on my walls and smear it around.

And she'd steal everyones' clothes from under the door while they showered.

Or the time she busted open a metal live mouse trap to kill the mouse inside. Or when she knocked over my tall kitchen trash can...

Or when she ate a full bag of pupperonis. over 6 ounces and she's 8 lbs. Or when she got the bag of food in a ziplock, in a gym bag, inside a locked crate and ate a half lb of turkey.

Or when she locked Summer in the crate. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it. She slammed the door on her and locked it and poor Summer cried.

There are so many more stories too.

 

[meepitsmeagan]

These are hilarious! Mia is such a snot!

All three of my dogs have no sense of personal space (Danielle knows!)

Harlow will stomp all over someone if they are sitting in her spot until they get irritated enough to move and then she will steal it back. She's also pee'd on my pillow a few times.

Rider gets so bouncy when someone new comes over that he's nosebonked people in the face before. He also has a tendency to scream at them while doing it.

Tulsa has no respect for anyone while they are sitting on furniture. She will run at a million miles per hour and just launch herself into their lap and kiss them. Her kisses are like a freight train (surprise, surprise).

Nobody really steals food or gets into the trash or anything, though. So in that way they are very good.

Hehe, Harlow does have a nickname at the house from Josh. Nutbuster. Doesn't bother me at all. :rofl1:

Yep, I've got a great bunch.

 

[Laurelin]

These are hilarious! Mia is such a snot!

She is! Eventually you just learn to laugh at her. She's a friggin mess.

I did remember one bad thing Summer has done and it was she busted out my trainer's Noz 2 Noz crate. Those this are not cheap and it wasn't even mine! She busted a hole in the mesh.

 

[DJEtzel]

All three of my dogs have no sense of personal space (Danielle knows!)

I was just eating a lovely Arby's wrap the other day, and Harlow's wiggling into me on the left, while Rider and Tulsa are in a cattledogpile squirming around on my lap/right. I'm just going to town on food and paying them no mind and they just all need to be touching me with their noses a few inches from my food. But at least they didn't dare actually grab anything!

I didn't mind at all. If my dogs got that far they'd for sure hit a home run and stealallthefood. That's why they just are never allowed on furniture if I have people over. They'd steal food or break a nose for sure. They only know not to do that to me. lol

 

[Beret]

Garp is dramatic. Oh so dramatic. This beastie SCREAMS when he wants something. This is amplified 100x at events. It gets pretty ridiculous. Makes me feel better if I just call it quirkly.

He is also a dirty rotten beggar. Which is 100% my doing, and I honestly.... I don't care.

Then there's also the whole wanting to kill everything furry thing.

 

[Laurelin]

Mia also ate one of my guy friend's toothbrushes during college.

And we had a pop up crate that Mia would roll around the house.

She once let all 5 papillons out loose while we went out to dinner. They were all penned up.

 

[Katem]

Bear is the good dog. Mostly. He occasionally will go after a cat, but calls off of them easily. He got into the garbage once. How it didn't result in a trip to the vet, I have no idea. He ate leftovers that probably contained at least 1/2 a cup of crushed red pepper...and most of the tinfoil take out tray it was in.

Pig. Oh Pig. She's the resident trouble maker. She's chewed a nice hole in the living room carpet. She will sneak downstairs to the cat room to raid the litter box if ever given half a chance.

She's super stealthy about her food thievery. Once while I was unpacking the car from a trip, I made the mistake of leaving a box of doughnuts on the couch while I went back and forth to get the rest of the stuff into the house. It was literally right next to the front door that my sister were going in and out of. Pig ate all 6 doughnuts without ever being seen. And she closed the box lid after eating them. After the car was unpacked I reached for the box to get a doughnut and there was not a single crumb left.

Badger's offenses are usually things he can't help. He drips water everywhere after drinking. I'm used to it, but it drives my brother and sister crazy. He also loves to wipe his mouth on people if I don't towel him off right away. Him and Bear are both pretty bad about stepping on feet.

 

[Slick]

Leo pulls on leash all of the time, and there is nothing that has worked with him. He pulls less on a gentle leader, but he still maintains pressure on the leash. When I use treats, he walks nicely...until I try to start fading them out and then he goes straight back to pulling.
He pulls a little for me (its mostly fairly manageable), but he pulls LIKE A MANIAC for everyone else. It means that noone else walks him, which is sad because my roommates totally would take him along to stuff if he just didn't pull so hard for them.

The other thing is that he will ignore commands if he knows that an unfavorable thing with follow. He has a rock solid recall and will come back from a full sprint after a critter. Yesterday, I took him with me to a workout. He was sitting 15 yards away from me, not distracted by anything else, but he just sat and stared when I called him, because he knew that I was going to put him on the tie out. "No thank you, mom. I don't want that, so I am just going to stay here". Little bugger.

As you can see, he doesn't have very many issues. He is a very good boy overall.

 

[JacksonsMom]

Jackson's REALLY bad with food/begging in general. And it's mostly my fault. I never really discourage it (besides making him be at LEAST like 12 inches away from my plate/mouth lol)

but it's also my siblings faults :rofl1: they were both really young when I got Jackson (like 5 and 10 months old) sooo they've been dropping food, teasing him with food, etc since he was a pup. One time my brother was waving a slice of pizza around trying to get his head to follow and Jackson just GRABBED it right out of his hand soo quickly and ran outside with the entire slice of pizza. My brother learned never to do that again lol.

Ummm sometimes he barks too much/too loudly, or chases the cats, and takes food too quickly from you, but I can't think of anything like... super BAD that he's done. I mean he has chewed a lot of the legs off my sisters Barbies through the years... but he's never chewed anything super important or furniture etc.

 

[BostonBanker]

Meg is really darn near perfect; really her only bad behavior is counter surfing, and she does it rarely enough that we don't really think about it (clever girl). Baked goods are her weakness.

The best story involves my mother's amazing chocolate peanut butter cupcakes. They are HUGE chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter fudge frosting that is so sicky sweet you can barely eat one. There were seven of them on a high hutch in our dining room - it is probably 3.5 or 4 feet tall; Meg can just barely reach her toes to the top of it, but can't get her face up to it at all. It is also covered with framed pictures. There is no other furniture near it.

We came home to the tray still sitting on the hutch, zero pictures disturbed, and only one half of a cupcake left on the floor. We spent a fair amount of time trying to figure out how Meg could have possibly gotten them without knocking anything over (and just why she decided that she couldn't possible finish that last one). To this day, the only explanation we can come up with is that a robber broke into the house, ate 6.5 of the cupcakes, and tossed the last half to Meg who, being perfect, of course didn't touch it.

As for Gusto...I can't even imagine what his worst offense was. He's eaten cash. We couldn't keep books or magazines on lower shelves for about the first year of his life. He will take any food he can possible reach, and has no qualms about doing it in front of people, reaching to the back of the counter with his little hands. He got into my purse and ate enough Advil to spend 48 hours in the emergency clinic. He adores soft, silky, things, and will steal any clothes he can find that fit those requirements, just to lay on them and snuggle. He also loves burying himself in warm laundry so much that half the time I let him play in the warm (briefly) clean clothes as soon as they come out of the dryer, and if I try to put them up out of his reach, he will try to pull them down.

I have no idea how we survived his puppy-hood.

 

[TheDarkestMinds]

These stories are too funny! It's nice to know i'm not the only one with occasionally rotten dogs . They keep life interesting that's for sure haha.

.
He also loves burying himself in warm laundry so much that half the time I let him play in the warm (briefly) clean clothes as soon as they come out of the dryer, and if I try to put them up out of his reach, he will try to pull them down.

Leia does this too lol. She watches me carry the laundry basket up the stairs and rushes to where I dump it. She loves to be buried in warm clean clothes...the little booger.

 

[teacuptiger]

Roxie broke out of her wire crate and proceeded to trash the kitchen. Knives were all over the place, and TWO loaves of bread had been eaten. Luckily she was no worse for the wear.

And then there's the whole digging the **** out of my bedroom floor. Carpet was gone, and she dug all the way to the wood of my floor and even that had a dent in it.

But that was a few years ago, so far she hasn't done anything terrible to the new house yet. Aside from pooping in the basement when my parents forgot to let her out before they left.

 

[monkeys23]

Lily's most recent sneak binge was when I took them to run errands with me on a Tuesday after a weekend we left them with a sitter friend to visit my bro in WY. I come out of a store, open the driver side door, and she is draped across the console face first into the bag of earthborn that she shoved the laundry basket and such I'd put on it as a deterrent. LOL. Lily's motto in life is, "Fat sounds awesome! Lets get fat!"

After this I dropped them at home, pottied and crated and went to put stuff in dryers before going to work... couple hrs later go to drop of dry laundry and home and Scoutini meets me at the door with a sea of garbage littering the floor behind her. Apparently she was worried she was being left again poor thing!
Then there was the time years ago when she dismantled a recliner from her crate. That was impressive.

Dumb thing I'm excited about: I got a beautiful red, circular lidded steel trash can last Friday.

 

[pinkspore]

Ru sleeps under the covers with me, usually snuggled against my body somewhere. When he was under a year old, I ordered some smelly ground sardines from the meat packing plant that supplies our raw dog food. The other dogs were less than enthused, so Ru gobbled down everyone's horrid smelly fish goop. That night, shortly after we went to bed, Ru barfed horrid fish goop all over me under the covers. Husband and I lept out of bed, I changed into clean pajamas while he stripped the sheets, we threw everything in the washer on "Incinerate" mode, got out fresh sheets, and went back to bed. Just after we turned the lights off, Ru barfed a second round of horrid fish goop all over me under the covers.

Brisbane is the worst dog ever. He has eaten half of a flourless chocolate cake off the counter on two separate occasions. He weighs 40 lbs and once at an entire 5lb bag of cat food.

Brisbane does not chew or destroy non-food items. The one exception to this was when he destroyed my mother's out of production, incredibly rare, antique lucite clarinet mouthpiece. I have yet to replace it because I have yet to find another one after nearly a decade of searching.

Brisbane shattered the 4'x3' picture window in my living room, in front of a County Animal Control officer.

I once found Brisbane in the back yard, casually staring at a meter reader who was standing in the corner of the yard and trying to look small and non-threatening. He had been there for at least 15 minutes and probably closer to half an hour.

I think Brisbane's worst offense is his apparent ability to detect seizures and then act as the world's worst Seizure Alert dog. A former roommate had what now appears to be absence seizures, where he would blank out and just stand motionless for several minutes at a time, and then suddenly resume what he had been doing without being aware of the freeze. Brisbane would hang out with him in the kitchen, wait for him to blank out, and then steal whatever food he was preparing off the counter in front of him. The guy made several sandwiches a day, and Brisbane sometimes got an entire loaf of bread or jar of peanut butter. One of them gained a whole lot of weight while we lived together.

 

[*blackrose]

Before I got Abrams, if Cynder was left loose she would raid the kitchen trash can. Although this happened multiple times, there was one day there was GROSS trash in it. Old food, nasty wrappers, and disgusting pee soaked rat bedding. Plus the vacuum dumpings of dust/dog hair/grossness. She spilt it ALL OVER. There was a trail leading from the kitchen to the front door, then from the front door into the bedroom. I had a long day at work and then walked in to see that and I was NOT happy. It took FOREVER to clean up and get out of the carpet. Ugh.

And I can't blame her for this, but on Michael and I's wedding night she vomited all over the couch, his back, and the floor. So we spent our evening cleaning up dog vomit, and it took about a month to get the smell out of the carpet.

Abrams. He's actually quite good, now that I think about it. He eats things (like wood chips or hay from the Guinea Pig cage). He eats tissues. He roars at everything and scares the **** out of people in public and embarrasses me. He shreds boxes. But he's never destroyed anything, or stolen anything, or raided the counter or trash.

Oh. But here is a notable story.

My friend watched him for a day while we were in Indiana. He was SUPER excited to see her, so greeted her with more than normal enthusiasm (running around her full speed and jumping when he got close to her, plus barking). She bent down to pet her own dog and he jumped up and klonked her on the chin with the full force of his big fat head. He split her lip and made her bite her cheek and tounge. She starts bleeding, so she runs to the freezer to grab and ice cube, cursing at him while he continues to run circles around her. She gets the icecube out of the freezer and he steals it from her, then runs outside and starts doing laps around the yard while carrying it, barking at all of the neighbors.

That's my dog.