The Venting Thread

Grab

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I stayed home with Clive this morning because he's had a fever since yesterday. It's down today (hovering int he 100 degree range rather than 102.4 as it was yesterday). He has a runny nose, but that's about it. Seems to feel fine, acts fine. His tonsils are a bit red, but that happens any time he gets a runny nose. Sheesh, go away, fever
 

Beanie

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The place I was waiting to hear back from e-mailed me and told me the person who's in the position now is actually leaving because their spouse is relocating, except they just found out the spouse ISN'T relocating until maybe later this summer, so. They're putting the position on hold.

*$@^ #@!U $*&@.
 

*blackrose

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I hate money problems.

What I hate even more than money problems is when I'm expected to handle the bills and budget, but then I'm not told that certain expenses are coming up. Or how much they are. Or that they're coming out of a bank account I never use. And that I'm expected to know all about them, even though I've been given no information.

SERIOUSLY.

Once again, we have almost $300 in bills I was not anticipating. The ****. COMMUNICATION. IT IS A THING. DO IT. Had I known we had these expenses we had to pay, I would have, oh, I don't know. Not have let a certain someone purchase almost $100 worth of new video games this month? And I would have said, "No, don't spend $50 on alcohol, we can't afford it right now." And maybe I wouldn't have dropped $100 at Petsmart buying crap, or spent $15 on a pizza two weeks in a row. But NOOOOOOO. I thought we had money. Apparently, we don't. And maybe I would have known to transfer money to a bank account I NEVER USE so a certain someone wouldn't have overdrawn!

Ugh.

Why does no communication happen? Why? I shouldn't have to ask pointed questions to obtain information when I don't even know what I'm supposed to be questioning about! Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh.

Even more ugh: I distinctly remember him asking me to transfer over $100. I also distinctly remember telling him later that I couldn't do it. Even so...why are we overdrafted by $140, with, $120 pending?! Come on!
 

Jules

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I hate money problems.

What I hate even more than money problems is when I'm expected to handle the bills and budget, but then I'm not told that certain expenses are coming up. Or how much they are. Or that they're coming out of a bank account I never use. And that I'm expected to know all about them, even though I've been given no information.

SERIOUSLY.

Once again, we have almost $300 in bills I was not anticipating. The ****. COMMUNICATION. IT IS A THING. DO IT. Had I known we had these expenses we had to pay, I would have, oh, I don't know. Not have let a certain someone purchase almost $100 worth of new video games this month? And I would have said, "No, don't spend $50 on alcohol, we can't afford it right now." And maybe I wouldn't have dropped $100 at Petsmart buying crap, or spent $15 on a pizza two weeks in a row. But NOOOOOOO. I thought we had money. Apparently, we don't. And maybe I would have known to transfer money to a bank account I NEVER USE so a certain someone wouldn't have overdrawn!

Ugh.

Why does no communication happen? Why? I shouldn't have to ask pointed questions to obtain information when I don't even know what I'm supposed to be questioning about! Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh.

Even more ugh: I distinctly remember him asking me to transfer over $100. I also distinctly remember telling him later that I couldn't do it. Even so...why are we overdrafted by $140, with, $120 pending?! Come on!
HUGS!

This is why the first few years of marriage are HARD. People always make it out to be so easy lovey-dovey, but it's not. You're merging two people together. All of two people. That's a lot.
 

*blackrose

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HUGS!

This is why the first few years of marriage are HARD. People always make it out to be so easy lovey-dovey, but it's not. You're merging two people together. All of two people. That's a lot.
At least this is a small thing, honestly. Lesson learned. Error will be fixed today, I get my first pay check tomorrow that will help us recuperate, and we'll hopefully come up with a game plan for the future of this side account.

He's used to spending on a whim and not really having to worry about anything, whereas I've always been a hoarding squirrel with my cash. In the past month he's made great strides in running large purchases by me before making them and subduing his haphazard spending, but he still just doesn't think to share pertinent information until it is critical. Annoys the snot out of me. If I ask him about it he is more than forthcoming, but if it is about something I know nothing about, I can't ask about it!
 

Dogdragoness

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At least this is a small thing, honestly. Lesson learned. Error will be fixed today, I get my first pay check tomorrow that will help us recuperate, and we'll hopefully come up with a game plan for the future of this side account.

He's used to spending on a whim and not really having to worry about anything, whereas I've always been a hoarding squirrel with my cash. In the past month he's made great strides in running large purchases by me before making them and subduing his haphazard spending, but he still just doesn't think to share pertinent information until it is critical. Annoys the snot out of me. If I ask him about it he is more than forthcoming, but if it is about something I know nothing about, I can't ask about it!
My OH used to be like that too, now I have taught him about goals and objectives, like how we want to save for a new vehicle soon.
 

teacuptiger

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I am thinking that this whole sleeping in the basement thing is not going to work out. Not if I swell up like a balloon and have an asthma attack every time I try to go to sleep. Besides the fact that it is so LOUD down there.

Yay floody basement. Hopefully the basement flooding gets fixed and I can sleep down there, because otherwise this just sucks. I miss sleeping before 3 and waking up before noon. It's such a waste with this (mostly) beautiful weather.
 
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when it comes to your training issues, it is apparent that Lotta's issues would be best solved with somebody who can meet her in person (/trainer) because online advice is difficult and what you are asking is one-on-one step by step methods and advice, which is what trainers are PAID to do.
First of all, Lotta is not a problem dog and we are talking about teaching basic things. We may not be talking about Lotta's behavior when we use the words "issue" and "problem". We have told that:
My friend has taken Lotta to courses and she is going to take Lotta to them again as soon as she can. She would like to discuss about dog training in this forum until then.
The bolding is communly used and we use it if we want to highlight something. Otherwice we would need to break the messages down to even smaller parts which would take a lot of time. We also could not change the way we write. We have told about it in this thread: My friend and Aspergers

That may be possible:
Ok there is some miscommunication going on, and it's obvious you are getting frustrated.
May I suggest perhaps losing the bold and the third person. Since you are kind enough to type for her perhaps the "my friend.." isn't necessary, just "I want to.." it makes your posts kind of stick out and makes them more cumbersome to read
My friend is not demanding anything and she wants mostly to discuss about dog training. There are different kind of subjects what my friend would like to discuss about. Besides she has read that you can/should work with more than one behavior at the time. She is asking instructions only if there already aren't them.

Going into different threads and demanding different advice.....//.....This forum is about sharing, we do ask for advice but very few members here are professional dog trainers. We work with our own dogs and let others know what worked for US, and apparently none of that is well suited for Lotta.
That is not the case...//.....Only some of your suggestions aren't suitable for Lotta. Read our comment here:
What are you working on?
My friend wants to add that it might be a better idea to discuss more about things that relates to my friend's disability in this thread "My friend and Aspergers", and about other things in this thread: Looking for a person to talk with

I wanted to add that we never see posts outside of asking for help. Be a part of the community. Let us get to know you and your friend, respond to other threads, ect.
My friend has not found other threads yet where to write.
 

Shai

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Off topic at the moment but I have pretty much given up any hope of actually getting to plan the garden this year. Argh.
 

JessLough

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First of all, Lotta is not a problem dog and we are talking about teaching basic things. We may not be talking about Lotta's behavior when we use the words "issue" and "problem". We have told that:
I don't think anybody has said Lotta is a problem dog. You have specifically said she won't do this, that and the other. It is obvious you don't have the skill set to work with Lotta, so a trainer is your best bet.

The bolding is communly used and we use it if we want to highlight something. Otherwice we would need to break the messages down to even smaller parts which would take a lot of time. We also could not change the way we write. We have told about it in this thread: My friend and Aspergers
Bolding is not commonly used, and nobody else here uses it. Oh look, see how I'm not using it and am breaking down your posts just as much as you are now? So no, you won't have to break posts up any more than you already are. Actually, you could get away with less.

Yes, you have made that thread. Writing style can still be changed. Again, you wrote in that thread that you are typing for her, there is no rule saying you have to use "my friend..." instead of "I..." or even "we...". Using "my friend" does nothing but disconnect.


My friend is not demanding anything and she wants mostly to discuss about dog training. There are different kind of subjects what my friend would like to discuss about. Besides she has read that you can/should work with more than one behavior at the time. She is asking instructions only if there already aren't them.
The definition of demand is "an insistent and peremptory request, made as if by right". Sounds like you're demanding to me. You keep going into other threads, that have nothing to do with training or your thread, and asking people to go reply, insistently.

You are asking instructions on everything, because we don't give instructions here. Not the step by step ones you want. Especially not since every time somebody has tried, you just get ten different reasons why it absolutely won't work, instead of, you know, trying it.

Sure, you may have read that you can/should work with more than one behaviour at a time, but it's obvious you don't have the skill set needed to do it, so try one at a time.



My friend wants to add that it might be a better idea to discuss more about things that relates to my friend's disability in this thread "My friend and Aspergers", and about other things in this thread: Looking for a person to talk with
Why should we go talk about you in your thread when you refuse to comment on any other thread or be part of the community (unless it's to beg somebody to go post on one of your threads.)

My friend has not found other threads yet where to write.
I know you've seen the other threads, because again, you go and beg people in them to read your threads. Doesn't even have to be about training, just other threads that are made. Congratulate people when they post a thread about accomplishments, send your condolences when they post a thread about a loss, look at the pictures they post and say something, jump into a conversation thread. Be a part of the community. Don't write or just go onto threads to talk about yourself.
 

iriskai

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My friend is not demanding anything and she wants mostly to discuss about dog training. There are different kind of subjects what my friend would like to discuss about. Besides she has read that you can/should work with more than one behavior at the time. She is asking instructions only if there already aren't them.


My friend has not found other threads yet where to write.
I think a lot of this issue here is there isn't any room for discussion. You've asked questions and requested instructions on a number of threads, and made a number of posts because you didn't feel you got the information you wanted. In most of these threads/posts, people have offered you advice, given you suggestions, shown you videos and generally offered their points of view. When you respond 'that doesn't work for my dog', that's fine. Not every training method works for every dog. Just like every person doesn't learn the same way. However, when you get such a variety of responses from a number of people who have very successfully trained a wide variety of dogs and you still shoot them down, saying you've 'told' us already why the suggestions won't work, there isn't much more to 'discuss' and people will generally start ignoring the pleas for help.

For example, you say your dog isn't food motivated. Okay, what have you tried? Mine aren't food motivated either if the payout is a piece of kibble. Chicken? They're all in. All you've said is that Lotta 'isn't good motivated'.

And a note on the bolding of font, there's no reason to bold what you feel needs emphasis, we can all read whether it's bold or not. From my point of view, when most of the post ends up bold, it comes across as though you're talking down to everyone as though we cannot understand, similar to how typing in all capital letters would come across as yelling.

I feel you have the best of intentions, but a lot is lost across the internet. While a forum is a good sounding board to improve training techniques, there's no way typed instructions, no matter how good, can give the personal feedback someone needs to learn HOW to train a dog.
 

meepitsmeagan

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I think a lot of this issue here is there isn't any room for discussion. You've asked questions and requested instructions on a number of threads, and made a number of posts because you didn't feel you got the information you wanted. In most of these threads/posts, people have offered you advice, given you suggestions, shown you videos and generally offered their points of view. When you respond 'that doesn't work for my dog', that's fine. Not every training method works for every dog. Just like every person doesn't learn the same way. However, when you get such a variety of responses from a number of people who have very successfully trained a wide variety of dogs and you still shoot them down, saying you've 'told' us already why the suggestions won't work, there isn't much more to 'discuss' and people will generally start ignoring the pleas for help.

For example, you say your dog isn't food motivated. Okay, what have you tried? Mine aren't food motivated either if the payout is a piece of kibble. Chicken? They're all in. All you've said is that Lotta 'isn't good motivated'.

And a note on the bolding of font, there's no reason to bold what you feel needs emphasis, we can all read whether it's bold or not. From my point of view, when most of the post ends up bold, it comes across as though you're talking down to everyone as though we cannot understand, similar to how typing in all capital letters would come across as yelling.

I feel you have the best of intentions, but a lot is lost across the internet. While a forum is a good sounding board to improve training techniques, there's no way typed instructions, no matter how good, can give the personal feedback someone needs to learn HOW to train a dog.
All of this. So well said. Also, you don't need to have a "problem" dog to take classes. Many people here take classes regularly to just further knowledge and move up in sports.
 

sparks19

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Off topic at the moment but I have pretty much given up any hope of actually getting to plan the garden this year. Argh.
UGH same here. Not only have we been too busy to really prepare for one but on top of that the weather has been uncooperative at BEST. Bummer
 

teacuptiger

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Woke up to find my glasses INSIDE the couch. Because my mom put them on the couch (which is squishy and moves) when she moved the side table I had been using, back to it's original position.

Why not keep them on the side table? Or put them on the lamp stand, coffee table, or kitchen counter? I've no idea. I suppose none of those seems as worthy a solution as possibly breaking very expensive glasses.

So much for everything I've been trying to do for my family lately. It's not worth it if, at the end of the day, they still can't respect me enough to put my glasses- the only way I can see -somewhere safe.

There goes your landscaper, gardener, housekeeper, and your mover (as well as seller of crap we don't need). Oh, and the person that's been taking care of the flooding basement. I'll stop "taking over the house" for ya now. I mean, I thought you all might enjoy having an actually clean house and a nice yard and sorted moving crap, but whatever. I'll go back to pretending I don't exist.
 

Shai

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UGH same here. Not only have we been too busy to really prepare for one but on top of that the weather has been uncooperative at BEST. Bummer
YES to both of these. I was travelling during the one week of good planting weather and was home just in time to partially prep the garden area...which is worse than no prep because now there are water entrapment areas with no egress which is compounding the nonstop rain issue.

If stuff isn't in by the end of the week it won't be in til late June, mostly likely. I am about ready to throw in the towel for 2014, buy everything from the Farmer's market, and use the summer to really get the garden ready so next spring is easy.

Argh!

I really hope you have better luck and are able to get in soon.
 

PWCorgi

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I've never gotten so much as a B in a class before. Now I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail my algebra class. It's the second week and I have a 69% in the class. What bothers me even more is how much I don't really care. I HAVE to pass this class, but I am having the hardest time making myself care. Grrrr.
 

sparks19

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YES to both of these. I was travelling during the one week of good planting weather and was home just in time to partially prep the garden area...which is worse than no prep because now there are water entrapment areas with no egress which is compounding the nonstop rain issue.

If stuff isn't in by the end of the week it won't be in til late June, mostly likely. I am about ready to throw in the towel for 2014, buy everything from the Farmer's market, and use the summer to really get the garden ready so next spring is easy.

Argh!

I really hope you have better luck and are able to get in soon.
I know so frustrating. Ours is SO overgrown with weeds and junk now from all this rain that we're honestly wondering how we are going to clear it all out lol. We are going on vacation for ten days and we've not even laid a finger on the garden yet. We'll see what happens when we get back.

Who knows... we may both get a miracle LOL
 

Gypsydals

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Off topic at the moment but I have pretty much given up any hope of actually getting to plan the garden this year. Argh.
Sadly I KNOW I won't be getting a garden this year.:( With everything going on with our house, and not knowing where we will be come harvest time. I don't want to put one in and not get anything out of it. So I will be hitting up the farmers markets to get everything I need for canning.
 

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