I can tell you of two toddlers (twins) who are almost 4 years old who are becoming completely neurotic because their mother over-dramatizes when she comforts them. My nieces and daughter were with these people who are extended family the other night at a family party. One of my nieces baby's, an almost 2 year old was just playing, barely touched one of the twins and that kid looked horrified....scared and cried, "ouuuuuu." My daughter said something to cheer him up, like, "you're okay...c'mon lets play with this".....something or other and the mother comes running over, "awwwwwww.....are you okay?????" Big fuss. Another time one of my nieces ruffled his hair as she walked by and he said, "ouuuuuuuuuuu...that hurts" and started crying. My niece said, "ahhh, that didn't hurt. You're okay." (in a cheerful, no big deal voice.) The mother again makes a big huge deal out of it. These kids are afraid of everything and when the little two year old so much as touches one of them, the kid seems really afraid, shaking and horrified. Something is really wrong there. When one of the twins really did hurt himself when playing, my daughter comforted him and brushed off his knee or whatever. He didn't want her comfort. He wanted his mother who came swiftly over to him and acted horrified herself about his ouchie and cooed and fussed and kept asking if he was all right. What she's doing in essence is telling the kids that they aren't all right, that they can't manage without her, can't possibly handle anything that comes their way. They're going to be picked on and bullied when they get to school. You can be sure. They're going to have one hell of a time getting along in this world.
I'm all for comforting...absolutely....but a dog doesn't always interrpret it as we intend. Neither does a human child in every way someone does the comforting. The dog can pick up, just as those kids have that whatever it is that hurt or scared them is really truly something horrifying and scary since the "grown-up" in the mix thinks so too...that what just happened is more serious than it is. That over-dramatizing reiterates or drives it home to the child or dog that what they suspected is really worse than it even is.
That is why I say there's a happy medium. Comfort, but without a lot of drama and over-concern. Confidence yourself that you know that nothing is that bad.....but not without sympathy or a sign of protecting the little one from escalating that fear. They pick up on our vibes so easily that if we act like it's not such a big deal, but let them know we're near, they often believe us and it helps get them over it.
I've seen a learned helplessness in dogs too where someone has made a big, huge fuss over them when they're afraid or reactive toward something. But I do agree that completely ignoring isn't helpful, natural or nurturing either.