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- Sep 30, 2005
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- 36
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- 41
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- Aussie, Aussie, Aussie...Oi! Oi! Oi!
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window!
-- Steve Bluestone
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
--Lewis Grizzard
The other day I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One of them says to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets!"
--Dave Starr
They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered?
--Larry Reeb
I've been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog.
--Wendy Liebman
I bought my grandmother a Seeing Eye dog. But he's a little sadistic. He does impressions of cars screeching to a halt.
--Larry Amoros
I like driving around with my two dogs, especially on the freeways. I make them wear little hats so I can use the car-pool lanes.
--Monica Piper
Dogs are lousy poker players. When the get a good hand they wag their tails.
Dumb dog. I bought a dog whistle. He won’t use it.
A guy wanted the vet to cut his dog’s tail off. The vet asked why. Well, my mother in law is visiting next month and I want to eliminate any possible indication that she is welcome
I know that dogs are pack animals, but it is difficult to imagine a pack of standard poodles...and if there was such a thing as a pack of standard poodles, where would they rove to? Bloomingdale's?
--Yvonne Clifford, American actress
-- Steve Bluestone
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
--Lewis Grizzard
The other day I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One of them says to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets!"
--Dave Starr
They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered?
--Larry Reeb
I've been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog.
--Wendy Liebman
I bought my grandmother a Seeing Eye dog. But he's a little sadistic. He does impressions of cars screeching to a halt.
--Larry Amoros
I like driving around with my two dogs, especially on the freeways. I make them wear little hats so I can use the car-pool lanes.
--Monica Piper
Dogs are lousy poker players. When the get a good hand they wag their tails.
Dumb dog. I bought a dog whistle. He won’t use it.
A guy wanted the vet to cut his dog’s tail off. The vet asked why. Well, my mother in law is visiting next month and I want to eliminate any possible indication that she is welcome
I know that dogs are pack animals, but it is difficult to imagine a pack of standard poodles...and if there was such a thing as a pack of standard poodles, where would they rove to? Bloomingdale's?
--Yvonne Clifford, American actress