Is 9 Too Young? What Do You Think?

[sillysally]

I came across this story today, and honestly don't know how I feel about it:http://news.yahoo.com/sc-moms-arrest-sparks-child-care-debate-185002738.html I don't think the mother should have been arrested, but I don't have enough experience with 9 year old kids to know if this is too young to be alone at a park or not. I grew up in the country on a busy road and had my mom home with me all summer, so this isn't really something I can relate to.

So, what do you think? Was the mother right or wrong? If she was in the wrong, should she be punished?

 

[Romy]

Depends on the child, the park, the area, etc. Personally I couldn't bring myself to let my kids go somewhere alone at that age.

 

[HayleyMarie]

I'm don't really know how I feel about this story either. Do I think the mother should have been thrown in jail and lost custody of her child. HECK NO!!!

I grew up and was raised on a farm and my brother and I had free reign of the farm since we where like 6, but of course this is different.

I know I would feel safe in my town to allow by 9 year old to go play at the park, heck kids are always running around the neighborhood without parent supervision. But I also live in a smaller town of about 5000 people so I might feel different if I lived in a big city and depending on what kind of community it was.

So really I don't have an answer to your question lol

 

[Laurelin]

I remember being in 3-4th grade and going out to the park and even walking to school with just my friends at that age. When I was that age we spent pretty much every part of every day we weren't in school outside by ourselves. We would have at least 3 or 4 of us, sometimes a dozen playing street hockey, racing bikes and roller blades, building forts in the woods, walking to parks, walking to the school playground, etc. Some of the kids were a bit older than me but not but by a few years. We'd always tell our moms if we were leaving our street but most days we'd be out on the street playing till dark. The moms would check on us every once and a while.

I do feel like times have changed and I am not sure what I'd do as a parent now (not that I plan on being a parent ever). But looking back at my childhood yes we went to parks by ourselves all the time around that age.

My neighborhood now I see kids around with no parents too. Just playing basketball or walking over to get an ice cream from the nearby McDonalds. Neither of my sisters really spent their childhood like mine though... Especially my youngest sister. She didn't ever have days like that where you'd leave the house all day with your friends, check in for lunch, then go back outside without any supervision. It is probably safer but I also do sort of feel sorry for kids now too.... Those were some of the most fun times of my life.

 

[sparks19]

I wouldn't send Hannah to the park alone at that age but mostly because there isn't a park close enough that I feel comfortable. At almost 7 years old she does walk to friends houses alone in the neighborhood.

I think what strikes me more than the age is the fact that the kid was just taken away and her custody revoked just like that. We need to STOP this crazy ora tice of just removing kids from their homes willy nilly!!!' Maybe she should have to attend a parenting class? I don't know but the government is just way too quick to remove kids from their homes and families!!!

 

[Locke]

For me, it really depends on the neighbourhood, and if there are other kids around, alone or supervised. I was allowed to go to the park alone at that age, but I often went with a friend, and we were never gone for more than an hour or so.

In my current neighbourhood, there are tons of kids who play at the school that look to be 9 or younger. I would definitely let my 9 year old go to the school yard or park alone, for an hour or two, not an entire day.

In this case, it sounds like the girl was not in immediate danger, there were lots of adults around, food and water available, kids to play with...I feel awful for her mother. I think her punishment was far too severe. A ticket and a warning/safety talk would be much more reasonable in my opinion.

 

[Fran27]

That really raises the problem of childcare when school is out... but I think here the problem is that she would drop her kid there while she worked... for hours, every day. Yeah I have a problem with that. Sure, at 8 I used to go to the local playground too, but I was with my sister, and it was just for an hour or so.

 

[BostonBanker]

I agree that it is really hard to say without knowing the area, but it does seem like a really extreme response.

I remember being in 3-4th grade and going out to the park and even walking to school with just my friends at that age. When I was that age we spent pretty much every part of every day we weren't in school outside by ourselves. We would have at least 3 or 4 of us, sometimes a dozen playing street hockey, racing bikes and roller blades, building forts in the woods, walking to parks, walking to the school playground, etc. Some of the kids were a bit older than me but not but by a few years. We'd always tell our moms if we were leaving our street but most days we'd be out on the street playing till dark. The moms would check on us every once and a while.

That was pretty much my childhood as well. Maybe it was different because it was always a small group for me, rather than just one of us at the park alone. But I bet I was about the same age when we all started going to the pool/park by ourselves. We'd bike the 2 miles or so there in a group (the boys were a few years older, so probably 9 to 12 years old), spend most of the afternoon at the pool, maybe bike to the park next door or the store nearby to get snacks. We were basically "on our own" from lunchtime until dinner. And we'd be out in the streets/woods after dinner until bedtime.

I know times change. But it makes me really sad that kids don't get to do that anymore.

 

[Psyfalcon]

I do feel like times have changed and I am not sure what I'd do as a parent now (not that I plan on being a parent ever). But looking back at my childhood yes we went to parks by ourselves all the time around that age.

Well, the violent crime rate is much lower now. If any time was too dangerous for a child on their own, it was when we were kids.

Welfare reform has even made the situation worse.
http://www.thenation.com/blog/180753/were-arresting-poor-mothers-our-own-failures

 

[Ozfozz]

Just to echo what everyone else has said, it is definitely dependent on a few variables.
Some 9 year old children are incredibly responsible and aware of their surroundings...whereas others aren't.

And the location is a definite factor!
Where I grew up was a small everyone-knows-everyone type village. It wasn't uncommon for kids to be running around unsupervised. And it was safe.
Whereas the place I live now, even I barely feel safe going out alone.


From the sounds of this case, there were people at the park that knew this kid, and I get the feeling that they were trusted and looking out for her.

But hey, let's do a charge of "child abandonment" with actually taking this single mother away. Yeah, that seems right
I really don't get the legal system sometimes.

 

[sparks19]

Yeah... Removing a child from their home and made a ward of the state instead of placed with other family members needs to be an ABSOLUTE LAST RESORT!!!! NOT the go to solution

 

[RBark]

I was off on my own long before 9 years old lol. And so were most kids I was around. And this was in Manteca, a really rough city. I don't necessarily advocate parents letting their kids be off on their own at that age, but dang, they'd have to arrest half the parents today for that.

 

[sassafras]

Oh man I was roaming pretty free by that age.

Taking the kid away immediately is pretty stupid, but on the other hand we've created that environment ourselves with all our righteous outrage over "why didn't anyone DO anything?" situations.

 

[JacksonsMom]

I remember being in 3-4th grade and going out to the park and even walking to school with just my friends at that age. When I was that age we spent pretty much every part of every day we weren't in school outside by ourselves. We would have at least 3 or 4 of us, sometimes a dozen playing street hockey, racing bikes and roller blades, building forts in the woods, walking to parks, walking to the school playground, etc. Some of the kids were a bit older than me but not but by a few years. We'd always tell our moms if we were leaving our street but most days we'd be out on the street playing till dark. The moms would check on us every once and a while.

I do feel like times have changed and I am not sure what I'd do as a parent now (not that I plan on being a parent ever). But looking back at my childhood yes we went to parks by ourselves all the time around that age.

My neighborhood now I see kids around with no parents too. Just playing basketball or walking over to get an ice cream from the nearby McDonalds. Neither of my sisters really spent their childhood like mine though... Especially my youngest sister. She didn't ever have days like that where you'd leave the house all day with your friends, check in for lunch, then go back outside without any supervision. It is probably safer but I also do sort of feel sorry for kids now too.... Those were some of the most fun times of my life.

Me too, at that age. I have the same memories.

But I do agree that nowadays, things have changed. I don't know how I feel, but I don't think she should have lost custody.

 

[sassafras]

I actually don't think things have changed that much. I think we've just become more scared of the things that DO happen and far less tolerant of risks.

 

[Greenmagick]

The problem is, the only thing that has actually changed is it is no longer the norm for parents to allow it so it SEEMS scary and not appropriate.

 

[Laurelin]

The problem is, the only thing that has actually changed is it is no longer the norm for parents to allow it so it SEEMS scary and not appropriate.

That is my thoughts.

A lot of the world seeming scarier is probably just because as adults we are more aware of dangers. The thought never crossed my mind as a kid that walking to school (about 1.5 miles away) could be dangerous. In less than 2 miles from my house we had bike trails, ponds, several parks, two schools etc.

We were out and about all the time.

 

[Fran27]

The thing is though... Did your parents leave you alone at that age to do whatever you wanted while they were at work? I think it's not the same as just letting your kids play outside while you're at home, where you could easily go and look for your child if needed - plus that kid was there pretty much all day, what did she eat?

I agree that it's extreme though, and that there are real case of child abuse and neglect that are often overlooked, so it doesn't make much sense to me.

 

[release the hounds]

I was responsible for myself and my younger brother at 10 all day while parents were at work during the summer. We were in a small community and had relatives and other very familiar adults around, but I think kids are very capable, at least some are. And some parents have the incapable kids they think they have.

 

[Dizzy]

Doesn't sound like she had the best history to be fair, and removing kids IS a last resort. In the UK you have to evidence in court that the child is or will be at risk of significant harm. Significant being the key word. Alternatively kids can be removed by emergency police protection order but you have to have the court award a care order based on evidence of significant harm as soon as possible to keep them in care.
Children aren't taken into care willy nilly.

So.... My huge bet is there's more history here than meets the eye. And not being under investigation doesn't mean they don't have information on the family.

Plus... She left the child in a park while she worked. At 9 years old. I wouldn't do that myself. Lucky the child wasn't injured or abducted. The child will be removed whilst they assess if it is safe and the mother is able to keep it safe. That in itself means they feel it is at risk of significant harm to begin with, otherwise they'd assess whilst the child remained at home.

And finally. Again in the UK, we approach family before foster carers. Clearly she has none or none suitable or they'd be watching kiddo whilst she worked.