I hate bimbos

[AdrianneIsabel]

In general, the vast majority of people like to be acknowledged though. It's really easy to acknowledge that someone is in a difficult situation, even while you retain a great attitude and talk to them. That can be really helpful for a lot of people. But someone who pretends that bad things don't exist can't do that. Because bad things don't exist. Therefore, bad things happening to other people don't exist and they're feeling crummy for no reason. There's where the irritation comes from.

I am still trying I grasp this... Denis and I got bad news on the first house so I pathetically said, "Now what? We give up? We look to rent and lie? We're never getting a house in time." And Denis said, "no, we move on, we get the consigner and expand our budget, it sucks but we'll get there and a bit of support would help."

Am I to grasp he has less functional coping skills than I do?

 

[Baxter'smybaby]

Yeah, mostly I dislike labeling people--this thread is classic example.
Everyone has their ways of dealing--and it is likely different ways with different people.
If someone asks me how I am--and I am having an incredibly stressful, horrible time --I don't go there with just anyone(particularly just acquaintances). I will give them pleasantries, because that will work for me and them. If it is someone I know understands the situation--I will share more. Even at that--I choose to look for the better side of any difficult situation/circumstance. I am a generally happy person--and most people who interact with me would have no clue as to the depth of the difficulties in my life. I see no need to wallow in it--press forward seems to make sense.

 

[Fran27]

Exactly.

You use less muscles to smile than frown, so it's easier and takes less energy to be cheery and postive!

And this is exactly what I'm talking about.

Seriously, some of you people just don't know what you're talking about. If you're truly unhappy (which I'm guessing none of you here have actually experienced, or you wouldn't be saying such absurdities), it's not that easy to wake up one day and decide to be happy. It takes a long, long time. And people with this kind of attitude are the LAST people we want to be dealing with, trust me. Seriously, it took me years to get out of my depression, and I'm finally at a place where I'm pretty happy with my life, but comments like this really make me cringe. I kinda wish happy people were more sensitive.

 

[AdrianneIsabel]

I think that is like saying "I kind of wish depressed people weren't so self involved."

-_-

 

[Baxter'smybaby]

And this is exactly what I'm talking about.

Seriously, some of you people just don't know what you're talking about. If you're truly unhappy (which I'm guessing none of you here have actually experienced, or you wouldn't be saying such absurdities), it's not that easy to wake up one day and decide to be happy. It takes a long, long time. And people with this kind of attitude are the LAST people we want to be dealing with, trust me. Seriously, it took me years to get out of my depression, and I'm finally at a place where I'm pretty happy with my life, but comments like this really make me cringe. I kinda wish happy people were more sensitive.

everyone has different experiences, different levels of comfort in dealing with challenging/less than "happy" topics. It's that "I don't know what to say" sort of reaction.

 

[~Jessie~]

I think that is like saying "I kind of wish depressed people weren't so self involved."

-_-

Yeah, really.

 

[Greenmagick]

To be fair, I did not see ANYONE on this thread say or imply "Oh, depressed people just need to smile and be happy".

 

[sparks19]

Really? I know what unhappy is. I have gone through depression, emotional abuse, I've had hard times. I tried my best to learn from it and it taught me what I would and would not accept in my life. For me... I do make the choice to be happy. Why do I have to bring myself down? That's being sensitive to people who aren't happy? "don't act happt because other people are unhappy"? I don't dance around singing "na na na I am happy and you aren't". But i am not going to fake it and "dumb it down". I've earned my happiness

And I see plenty of judging towards the "happy people" in this thread too. Don't ask for respect for your unhappiness when you an't show any for The opposite side of the coin

 

[AdrianneIsabel]

Really? I know what unhappy is. I have gone through depression, emotional abuse, I've had hard times. I tried my best to learn from it and it taught me what I would and would not accept in my life. For me... I do make the choice to be happy. Why do I have to bring myself down? That's being sensitive to people who aren't happy? "don't act happt because other people are unhappy"? I don't dance around singing "na na na I am happy and you aren't". But i am not going to fake it and "dumb it down". I've earned my happiness

Great post. I'm thrilled for you!

 

[~Jessie~]

And this is exactly what I'm talking about.

Seriously, some of you people just don't know what you're talking about. If you're truly unhappy (which I'm guessing none of you here have actually experienced, or you wouldn't be saying such absurdities), it's not that easy to wake up one day and decide to be happy. It takes a long, long time. And people with this kind of attitude are the LAST people we want to be dealing with, trust me. Seriously, it took me years to get out of my depression, and I'm finally at a place where I'm pretty happy with my life, but comments like this really make me cringe. I kinda wish happy people were more sensitive.

I DO know what being unhappy feels like. If you really think about it, so many things can make you unhappy if you let them. I make the choice to be happy. I've never had anyone complain about me my happiness and positive attitude- this is a first!

 

[Shai]

Really? I know what unhappy is. I have gone through depression, emotional abuse, I've had hard times. I tried my best to learn from it and it taught me what I would and would not accept in my life. For me... I do make the choice to be happy. Why do I have to bring myself down? That's being sensitive to people who aren't happy? "don't act happt because other people are unhappy"? I don't dance around singing "na na na I am happy and you aren't". But i am not going to fake it and "dumb it down". I've earned my happiness

This just made me smile. Heck it even made me happy

 

[AdrianneIsabel]

I DO know what being unhappy feels like. If you really think about it, so many things can make you unhappy if you let them. I make the choice to be happy. I've never had anyone complain about me my happiness and positive attitude- this is a first!

It's ridiculous to believe anyone has not experienced sadness, no matter the value.

Those of us defending happiness (I can't believe I just typed that) have had our share in varying degrees. I have plenty of family issues which are frankly no ones business. I was diagnosed with a plethora of anxiety/depression issues and I entered myself into my share of abuse and self inflicted dramatics. I have a very ugly past, woo hoo (Does that make anyone feel better?).

I have made a choice to give second chances to those who matter and cut out those (which has been a traumatically hard choice) who don't. I pride myself on rebuilding and finding better ways to live for myself, my family, and my dogs. None of that would be possible if I sat around brooding like a vampire of the non-sparkly variety. You only live once and sometimes it's a very short period, make the most of it.

 

[Beanie]

The last two years have been incredibly tough for me. I've made posts on here about it, mostly just about how I feel rather than details of what is actually going on, and "drowning" is a word I know I've used a lot. It really does physically feel like drowning sometimes. I can't breathe. The more I fight to try and break to the surface, the more energy I use that I can't dedicate to breathing, and the faster I will drown... drowning is the inevitable result.
It's NOT easy to just wake up and say "I'm not going to let my stress and my emotions overwhelm me today."

But it is still something I choose to do. Sometimes I fail. Sometimes I have days when I can hardly manage to function as normal. But I still make a choice to TRY and be positive, move forward, breathe in and out, smile.

Not all choices are easy. That doesn't mean they aren't worth making.


"I'm going to get out of bed every morning, and breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while, I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed in the morning, and breathe in and out."

 

[~Jessie~]

It's ridiculous to believe anyone has not experienced sadness, no matter the value.

Those of us defending happiness (I can't believe I just typed that) have had our share in varying degrees. I have plenty of family issues which are frankly no ones business. I was diagnosed with a plethora of anxiety/depression issues and I entered myself into my share of abuse and self inflicted dramatics. I have a very ugly past, woo hoo (Does that make anyone feel better?).

I have made a choice to give second chances to those who matter and cut out those (which has been a traumatically hard choice) who don't. I pride myself on rebuilding and finding better ways to live for myself, my family, and my dogs. None of that would be possible if I sat around brooding like a vampire of the non-sparkly variety. You only live once and sometimes it's a very short period, make the most of it.

The last two years have been incredibly tough for me. I've made posts on here about it, mostly just about how I feel rather than details of what is actually going on, and "drowning" is a word I know I've used a lot. It really does physically feel like drowning sometimes. I can't breathe. The more I fight to try and break to the surface, the more energy I use that I can't dedicate to breathing, and the faster I will drown... drowning is the inevitable result.
It's NOT easy to just wake up and say "I'm not going to let my stress and my emotions overwhelm me today."

But it is still something I choose to do. Sometimes I fail. Sometimes I have days when I can hardly manage to function as normal. But I still make a choice to TRY and be positive, move forward, breathe in and out, smile.

Not all choices are easy. That doesn't mean they aren't worth making.


"I'm going to get out of bed every morning, and breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while, I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed in the morning, and breathe in and out."

Great posts.

My parents are currently going through a divorce. They've been married for 35 years. When I was little we did so many things together- roadtrips, vacations, etc.

Should I sit here and mourn the loss of my family being under one roof every again? Or should I concentrate on the postitive aspects of my life and smile? I'll always choose the latter.

I don't want myself to fall into a downward spiral. Dwelling on one upsetting thing generally leads to dwelling on MORE things, until I'm sitting there feeling sorry for myself about every tiny thing.

 

[~Tucker&Me~]

Everyone copes with things differently. Some people like to get a pep talk and surround themselves with cheerful people, some people like to have others acknowledge how they feel and talk out the problem with them.

We choose our friends based on how compatible we are as people. If I am a person who enjoys talking it out and 'problem solving' it with friends, I am going to spend more time with people who are more likely to engage in that. If I feel better getting a pep talk and watching a comedy movie to take my mind off things, I will spend time with like-minded individuals.

Neither strategy is wrong, at least not in moderation. It is just personal preference when you choose what to surround yourself with. Criticizing one way of dealing with things isn't really productive - all you have to do is choose to avoid the people who don't handle things the way you like to do so

I think people are getting unnecessarily defensive in this thread.

ETA: I do think the original post was unnecessary cruel, particularly in choice of wording. Bimbo is not a nice word to throw around and I wish it would get extinguished.

Oh and for the record, sometimes I like having someone listen to my problems and essentially say "OMG your life sucks!" or "That person is a jerk, don't worry about it" or "You poor thing"... I have my little 5 minute pity party and move on Other times, I like when friends send me a link to a funny video or crack a joke to make light of something.

Bottom line - surround yourself with people who make you feel better and not people that irritate you. Don't criticize others for making different choices than you.

 

[Baxter'smybaby]

Everyone copes with things differently. Some people like to get a pep talk and surround themselves with cheerful people, some people like to have others acknowledge how they feel and talk out the problem with them.

We choose our friends based on how compatible we are as people. If I am a person who enjoys talking it out and 'problem solving' it with friends, I am going to spend more time with people who are more likely to engage in that. If I feel better getting a pep talk and watching a comedy movie to take my mind off things, I will spend time with like-minded individuals.

Neither strategy is wrong, at least not in moderation. It is just personal preference when you choose what to surround yourself with. Criticizing one way of dealing with things isn't really productive - all you have to do is choose to avoid the people who don't handle things the way you like to do so

I think people are getting unnecessarily defensive in this thread.

well said!

 

[JessLough]

I know some people do completely live in their own little world and isolate everything but happy feelings. They are odd people, certainly not "normal" happy folks, in fact I think they're quite troubled in their own way if they use a facade of happiness to avoid dealing with any adversities.

I don't think the OP was talking about the mentally ill, though. I think she was talking about people who present a perpetually happy exterior to the world.

Well... when you say something like "everybody that seems happy is a bimbo", you are encompassing everybody as a whole, cause no matter how much you think you know that person, you don't really know what's going on in there mind. Mentally ill or not.

 

[Romy]

I am still trying I grasp this... Denis and I got bad news on the first house so I pathetically said, "Now what? We give up? We look to rent and lie? We're never getting a house in time." And Denis said, "no, we move on, we get the consigner and expand our budget, it sucks but we'll get there and a bit of support would help."

Am I to grasp he has less functional coping skills than I do?

Okay. First off, I don't think anybody on Chaz is like this. Chazzers overall are a pretty compassionate and happy (healthy) bunch, otherwise I wouldn't hang out here.

Here's an example which hopefully will be relatable for folks, that illustrates what I'm talking about.

OP: We just put down Bob today. His osteosarcoma spread and he was in too much pain. I'm crushed, I don't know what we're going to do without him I just can't even breathe right now. He was my heart and now he's gone.

Here's a range of responses. See if you can spot the unrealistically upbeat one that minimizes and disregards the OP's totally appropriate feelings of grief.

Response 1: That's awful! I wish there was something we could do. (((tons of hugs)))

Response 2: Oh no! That's so hard. You did the right thing though. He isn't suffering anymore, and he's waiting for you at the bridge. I bet he's grateful you made the choice to let him rest.

Response 3: This means you can actually get that adorable aussie you posted yesterday! Oh my gosh that puppy is so cute! Just think, you'll finally have your dream agility dog. You've always wanted that, and Bob could never do it because of his hips.

 

[~Jessie~]

Response 2 would be similiar to something I'd write, which to me IS a positive reponse. It's GOOD for the dog not to be in pain anymore, and you're telling the owner they'll see him again at rainbow bridge.

Response 3 is just so far out there... most (sane) happy people wouldn't write anything like that.

 

[Xandra]

." And Denis said, "no, we move on, we get the consigner and expand our budget, it sucks but we'll get there and a bit of support would help."

Am I to grasp he has less functional coping skills than I do?

No that's perfect.. Acknowledging that it's unfortunate, but looking forward.

I'm talking about people ( and I think Romy is as well) to whom you can explain how e.g. you're totally stuck and they just give generic "I'm sure it'll work out!" as if you didn't just explain that you're worried/upset because it's highly probable that it isn't going to work out/ it's already know it's nit going to work out. Its "positive" but also dissmissive and IMO not very nice. Then you can either Reinterate like a jackass why it's not going to be alright or you can just agree with them politely. Personally, if someone's misfortune is brought up... Either I asked or they decided to tell me or whatever, I try to sympathize, to think up alternatives etc., and after a bit of that you change the subject to something happier. Somehow being supportive like that has never "brought me down." I'd rather be brought down a notch and be supportive rather than disregard anything that doesn't jive with my current mood. And without going back and editing (on phone on the bus) it's different if someone is chronically pessimistic and/or complaining about trivial things... I'm talking about normal people.

I mean look at all the vent/rough times threads on Chaz, those who've posted them, would you have liked it there was no sympathy for or acknowledgement of or insight into the situation you described?

Then the other area I've had problems is they dislike any critisicism of anything or anyone, even if deserved (by normal standards)