How can I help Belle

[sparks19]

As most of you already know... we lost our dear Teddy today to a VERY unforunate accident.

Belle is very upset that he is no where to be found. She just walks around wailing. We tried to give her a treat and she didn't want it. I hope she will eat later today. I can see it in her eyes that she is very upset.

How can I help her through this?

http://www.chazhound.com/forums/showthread.php?t=50627 here is the thread in Rainbow Bridge.

 

[dogsarebetter]

teddy is gone!!
where is the thread? im so sorry

 

[sparks19]

I updated my first post with a link

 

[Doberluv]

A-w-w Sparks. This whole ordeal is just devestating. I went through the same thing when my Lab, Bonnie died. Lyric whined and hunted for her, not quite wailing, but he was upset. The Chi's weren't so obvious. The only thing you can do is try and spend more time doing things with her to divert her mind to something else....maybe special walks in new places...just some extra one on one cuddling. Pretty much, time is the best healer. She'll come around in a week or two, I suspect. It will take much longer for you. And too, your sadness and anxiety is bound to rub off on her. She'll sense that. But there's nothing much you can do about that. Let time work for you and Belle. And may happy memories and the knowledge that you gave her a wonderful life full of fun and love keep her close to your heart. I'm so very sorry and sad for you.

 

[Saje]

Is he already cremated? I know it's unpleasant but letting Belle see Teddy's body might give her some closure.

 

[showpug]

Give her time and extra attention. It's going to take a while for her to adjust to the change. She's got great support and she'll be okay eventually. Just buy her some extra yummy canned food or something she really likes. Maybe cook her some extras over the next few days. Extra cuddling too, or taking more walks to get her mind off of it. The best thing for her is just time though.

 

[sparks19]

Is he already cremated? I know it's unpleasant but letting Belle see Teddy's body might give her some closure.

He;s not cremated yet.... they have them at the vet and then the place that actually does the cremation comes to pick him up and then brings the ashes back to the vets office with a special memorial plaque.

 

[Saje]

Honestly, if it's really stressing her out I'd see if I could take her there and let her say goodbye.

 

[joce]

I just want to say I am so sorry again

Just give her some extra love and try to distract her-your not going to be able to make it all better for her and jsut like with people its appropriate for pets to grieve to.

Our friends jsut lost there boxer about a week ago and there boston is still looking around for her.She is past whining for her but she knows something wrong. I think a lot of it is she is feeding off everyone in the houses emotions.

 

[Doberluv]

I agree with Saje on that one. I think it helps dogs, most definitely to see what happened. I read something on that in one of Patricia McConnell's books. I think it was her or Pat Miller. Anyhow, a firm believer that dogs need closure too.

 

[sparks19]

HOpefully we will be able to catch the vet clinic before he is moved. Being easter weekend I don't know what their hours are so I hope we are able to do that for her.

she seems to calm down if I am there to cuddle with her. She goes right to sleep, so at least I have found something that gives her some comfort.

Thanks for the tips everyone.... we have been cuddling her non stop since we came home. We brought Teddy's collar home and she tries to get to it to smell it. I did let her smell it earlier, I don't know if that helped or just made it worse.... but we are keeping the collar on the piano with out anniversary plate and other special momentos.

 

[Renee750il]

Poor Belle. You're doing the right things, Tanya. That's all you can do . . . grieve together. Time and distractions will help all three of you.

 

[Barb04]

I agree with just giving Belle lots of attention and love right now. She's feeling the same loss as you are. My friend had 3 dogs and 2 of them passed away within a month. The one left was devasted but slowly came around. My friend as well as I finally got another dog which helped.

 

[dr2little]

I agree with trying to distract her with new and different experiences, not the things that she's used to doing with Teddy beside her. Places that she can go for the first time with new smells and sights.

I understand the reason behind showing her Teddy's body but I'm not sure that it would be the best memory for you to have. Like everyone has already said, time and the extra love that you'll I'm sure, already be surrounding her with is the best healer.

Hold eachother close and try to make some new memories together, you'll alway hold the ones with your sweet Teddy tightly in your heart.(((((((hugs))))))) I'm just so sad for all of you.

 

[sparks19]

Well.... she seems to be doing a little bit better already.

it is the strangest thing. We are all consumed with sadness... there is no doubt.... and it feels like this pain will never heal.... but behind all that sadness there is almost a feeling of peace that has come over the house in the past hour or so. I am still feeling sad... I finally cried. but i don't feel empty like I did earlier... like there is something there that I can't explain. Brian and I have even been able to smile at some silly thoughts of Teddy....

Even Belle has calmed down.... she ate a full meal.... she hasn't cried for the past hour or so and right now she is back up on the couch sleeping.

I can't explain this feeling that has come over the entire house..... but it is just a feeling of peace even though we are in the most pain we have ever experienced.

my brother says "death is not suffered by those who leave us.... but by those who are left behind." That helps me when i start to think about how Teddy passed on.... how scared he must have been etc etc.... but I know he is not feeling ANY of those things now. Now he is happy, no fear, no sadness, no pain.... it is just us who are left to feel it.

 

[Renee750il]

Maybe Teddy is letting you know everything is okay with him, Sparks . . .

 

[bubbatd]

I don't know if this will help at all , Tanya..... but I was away when Tom found my dear Bubba dead in the morning . Chip was really more worried about Tom than Bubba being gone. Tom , who was on oxygen at the time , was too stubborn to seek help . ( Amy and I were gone and Jan was 4 hrs north ) Poor Chip had to watch him get Bubba ( at 108#s ) on a blanket and drag him to the garage ..... took him 3 hrs I guess , so I know what poor Chip went through . It wasn't until I brought Bubba's ashes home that Chip accepted the whole thing. When Elin's Eli died here , it was the same thing . He really didn't pay any attention to the body , but knew the ashes . Your poor Belle is picking up your vibes and is grieving for you .... not for herself . Our dogs really understand .... happiness , and sorrow . Never for themselves but for those they love . Yes, a Dog is a backward God .

 

[Barb04]

I'm glad that the 3 of you have begun to feel a peace and calmness over you. In some ways, maybe it is Teddy's way of saying I've arrived and you no longer have to worry; I'm safe now.

 

[otch1]

I'm so sorry to hear about Teddy. It certainly does help to start remembering all of the really special things about him and "funny" things he used to do. Try remembering the absolute naughtiest things, as well. That's always good for a laugh between you and your husband and that's when the healing starts.

 

[ACooper]

Your poor Belle is picking up your vibes and is grieving for you .... not for herself . Our dogs really understand .... happiness , and sorrow . Never for themselves but for those they love . Yes, a Dog is a backward God .

Wonderfully said Grammy, and that is what I think too. Belle misses him there is no doubt, but she is probably more concerned with how broken you & puck feel right now. There's not much to do but grieve it out

EDIT: I hope you are holding up well Sparks........you don't need to stress at this time in your life. Easier said than done, I know. Glad to hear things are starting to feel calmer around the house already.