This, this, this!!! Studies show that the kids of today are growing up with so much entitlement that this would more than likely affect the country in the future. The kids of the past did NOT have the things the kids of today have so using past methods of parenting is not always the best thing to do. People have been FIRED and their life altered due to the things they have posted on facebook and sites similar. This is a good lesson to learn, imo, about the power the internet has. I mean, the parents have already grounded her before they went to drastic measure like this. I don't see this as that bad either. He read her facebook comment, something she posted for people to see in the first place, defended the family on the things she wrote, list her punishments and destroyed the labtop. What better way to learn the power the internet has by posting it publicly. Some people would never agree to that method, that is fine, your opinion. I'm part of this new entitled generation and I have to say '"bout time!"
Dad shoots laptop because of FB post
- Thread starter LauraLeigh
- Start date
Just because "I wouldn't do it that way" doesn't mean he is completely wrong though.
I don't think he is a hero,but I wouldn't call him a bad parent.We don't know if this is ALL he did with the situation,for all we know he also has sat down and talked to her about it!She also has other family member's he's not the only one looking after her.Her mother might have said "Look,your dad was very angry and upset,maybe he shouldn't have done that....but.."
I personally wouldn't have done this,I would explained how important it is to remember that nothing on the internet is EVER private.I don't think i would have cared too much about her ranting to her friends...I don't care what other 15 year olds think of me!
But hey I'm not a mum yet!I would have wanted to know how she was feeling and suggested that if she finds it her to speak to me when she in angry that she emails me (or writes to me).
I don't think he is a hero,but I wouldn't call him a bad parent.We don't know if this is ALL he did with the situation,for all we know he also has sat down and talked to her about it!She also has other family member's he's not the only one looking after her.Her mother might have said "Look,your dad was very angry and upset,maybe he shouldn't have done that....but.."
I personally wouldn't have done this,I would explained how important it is to remember that nothing on the internet is EVER private.I don't think i would have cared too much about her ranting to her friends...I don't care what other 15 year olds think of me!
But hey I'm not a mum yet!I would have wanted to know how she was feeling and suggested that if she finds it her to speak to me when she in angry that she emails me (or writes to me).
How do you "let" or "not let" something go viral on the internet? In a written response, he has stated that he uploaded it to YouTube because it was easier than uploading to FB, but he only ever intended it to be seen by his daughter's FB friends, that they are declining any public interviews and after a long discussion (or "dialogue" if you prefer) he offered his daughter the chance to make a video response to his video, which she turned down. So it's not like they're a bunch of attention-mongers. It's just one family incident that got out of control. Jeez, god forbid anyone see one of my frustrated moments and judge my whole life and interaction with my family on it. :yikes:
probably actually , it is one of my down falls , I swear like a drunking sailor . for me to drop the fbomb is no big deal. i do control it in my nonswearing parts of lif e, but i work in a male world and cussing is one of the ways to be heard. an "excuse me" is ignored , when a "Hey Motherfu......" is answered everytime with people and tons of steel listening to me is imperative.
Now the viral part , no , i would not but the keep it off the internet was the whole reason for my sons and i problem. if repeatedly told him to either text or call his friends to vent about us. he chose not to and got humiliated.
cause = effect . action = consequences .
now on to your boarding school / riding school , i to can point out perfect examples in each scenario , this just comes back to every child is different and require different parenting styles.
I see a frustrated parent trying to finally get through to a self absorbed teen.
I bet she will think twice before posting crap on the internet.
Now the viral part , no , i would not but the keep it off the internet was the whole reason for my sons and i problem. if repeatedly told him to either text or call his friends to vent about us. he chose not to and got humiliated.
cause = effect . action = consequences .
now on to your boarding school / riding school , i to can point out perfect examples in each scenario , this just comes back to every child is different and require different parenting styles.
I see a frustrated parent trying to finally get through to a self absorbed teen.
I bet she will think twice before posting crap on the internet.
I totally agree. I just think this is going to increase her sense of entitlement. In all likelyhood this will 'prove' to her peers that her dad is a whack job and they will rally around and reinforce that. (I have seen that frequently, when a frustrated parent goes off the deep end its only vindicates the child's opinion of the parent being unfair and untrustworthy) So while I agree that entitlement is really bad, I disagree that this is going to help her in anyway.
In fact I think the father acts highly entitled himself. People were praising him in this thread for it to. Its his laptop to do with as he pleases with no regards to anyone else. True. But that is the exact attitude we DON'T want with our kids, public saying I dont' have to care about how my actions affect others...
In fact I think the father acts highly entitled himself. People were praising him in this thread for it to. Its his laptop to do with as he pleases with no regards to anyone else. True. But that is the exact attitude we DON'T want with our kids, public saying I dont' have to care about how my actions affect others...
I have the same question. He clearly stated that this was an on going issue. She had been grounded before, had the computer taken away, and so on. I highly doubt he just walked into her room and told her she was grounded and took the computer away without telling her why or discussing why. What is that saying agian? The definition of insantity is doing the same thing over and over agian and hoping for different results? Obviously the grounding, removing of privilages and talking did not work. She is close to being an adult. When she is 16 she could be charged for slandering someone. I think this was way better.
Your mom clearly did a good job teaching you empathy, the ability to feel how another must feel in a similar situation. That, I agree, is an invaluable lesson. But “tit for tat†is not the only way, nor even the most effective way to teach that lesson.
You may find my opinion absurd, that’s your prerogative, but I speak from a lot of experience with teenagers, from having walked that path, right in to the same roadblocks over and over, and having learned other routes.
“An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind†and all that
Parenting is hard, nobody does it “right†all the time. I want to be clear that I don’t think this man is a bad parent at all. I’m voicing my opinion about ONE of his lifetime of interactions with his daughter who he is allowed to parent however he sees fit (within reason LOL).
I think one of the things we parents forget with teenagers, is that life lessons aren’t learned in one session. It takes more than one trip to the big kid potty to learn to pee and poop in a toilet, its going to take more than one or two or even 14 attempts to teach a child responsibility, work ethic, and adult behavior. As a parent its *really* scary when it feels like your kid isn’t “getting itâ€, there’s no litmus test along the way to let you know if you’re making progress or not. One day your teen acts like they’re actually going to turn in to a somewhat normal adult only to turn around and do the dumbest thing anyone’s kid ever did. Its enough to drive a parent to shoot a laptop ya know?
It helps to remember that those teenage brains are still developing just like they were when that teen was a toddler and learning to poop in the toilet. We didn’t panic over potty accidents (well, we tried not to because everyone assured us the kid would not go to college in pull-ups), nor should we panic over teenagers having moments of teenagerness. Gosh we could really use the kind of support we give each other with toddlers when those toddlers turn in to teens!
Some kids get it right away with minimal effort on our part, others need to sink fruit loops in the potty, others need charts with stars, others need pretty big kid underwear, others are just going to do it their way in their own sweet time no matter what we do or don’t do.
Just as in dog training, there’s a lot to be said for consistency, focusing on the relationship, teaching and rewarding incompatible behaviors, management until maturity sets in, and controlling resources. If you can’t use a laptop maturely, you don’t get to use one period. No need for drama, or theatrics, simply take the lap top away, explain why, and move on.
You may find my opinion absurd, that’s your prerogative, but I speak from a lot of experience with teenagers, from having walked that path, right in to the same roadblocks over and over, and having learned other routes.
“An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind†and all that
Parenting is hard, nobody does it “right†all the time. I want to be clear that I don’t think this man is a bad parent at all. I’m voicing my opinion about ONE of his lifetime of interactions with his daughter who he is allowed to parent however he sees fit (within reason LOL).
I think one of the things we parents forget with teenagers, is that life lessons aren’t learned in one session. It takes more than one trip to the big kid potty to learn to pee and poop in a toilet, its going to take more than one or two or even 14 attempts to teach a child responsibility, work ethic, and adult behavior. As a parent its *really* scary when it feels like your kid isn’t “getting itâ€, there’s no litmus test along the way to let you know if you’re making progress or not. One day your teen acts like they’re actually going to turn in to a somewhat normal adult only to turn around and do the dumbest thing anyone’s kid ever did. Its enough to drive a parent to shoot a laptop ya know?
It helps to remember that those teenage brains are still developing just like they were when that teen was a toddler and learning to poop in the toilet. We didn’t panic over potty accidents (well, we tried not to because everyone assured us the kid would not go to college in pull-ups), nor should we panic over teenagers having moments of teenagerness. Gosh we could really use the kind of support we give each other with toddlers when those toddlers turn in to teens!
Some kids get it right away with minimal effort on our part, others need to sink fruit loops in the potty, others need charts with stars, others need pretty big kid underwear, others are just going to do it their way in their own sweet time no matter what we do or don’t do.
Just as in dog training, there’s a lot to be said for consistency, focusing on the relationship, teaching and rewarding incompatible behaviors, management until maturity sets in, and controlling resources. If you can’t use a laptop maturely, you don’t get to use one period. No need for drama, or theatrics, simply take the lap top away, explain why, and move on.
Teens rant that's what they do. I was a pretty angry kid I ranted constantly about parents, teachers, and friends. EVERYONE. What I think a lot of kids/teens/adults forget though is that the internet is public. Complaining to your friends is normal. Being a bratty teen happens. But when you are that disrespectful to people in the real world consequences happen and sometimes you are called out on them.
From what I could gather this had happened before and he tried talking to her and grounding her. She did it again so he stepped it up. Yes it was drastic but it doesn't sound like this was the first step. And I still see nothing wrong with him giving a rebuttal on the same public forum she posted the original rant on.
I kind of disagree as well. I am an adopted child. Both of my brothers were adopted from different families as well. Even though we were all raised the same there are soooooo many differences between all of us. My younger brother is great in school but has a ton of anger issues. He's better with them but if you push him he snaps and turns into one of the biggest douches you will ever meet. My older brother has a nice family never gets angry enough to get close to lashing out at people. I can be incredibly snarky if I'm annoyed. I love working and while I view family as important I don't view it as the holy grail like lot of people do. We all got the same thing put into us but my parents ended up with three drastically different people.
I don't smoke and am allergic to it. I think it makes people smell gross and I think it's stupid to want to die of lung cancer. But really smoking doesn't make you a bad person/parent.
I don't think he was being violent. Yes he used a gun but he never threatened his daughter. And everything he said wasn't an insult or a threat.
Except what she did was post untrue things and what he did was he said her actual chores and told her she was being disrespectful.
Agreed.
It sounds like this had happened before. And since this is the only taking away and destroying a computer video I have found from him and he said this situation has happened before I'm kind of guessing it didn't work.
I mean I guess for me I
1. Don't automatically see the use of a gun as violent. *And I'm terrified of guns for some reason*
2. Totally understand that if talking and grounding and other normal things don't work that sometimes you have to take a drastic measure.
3. Still consider the laptop his property and not hers. I was raised knowing what my parents bought for me to use was still theirs. I mean once I moved out anything I took I considered mine just because the idea of my parents busting into my apartment and raiding me sounds wrong.
4. Don't find anything he said disrespectful. She called another lady who comes and helps out there the cleaning lady, she complained about doing few chores than I did in elementary school and was just all around disrespectful. He came on and said what her chores really were, corrected her about calling the woman 'the cleaning lady', told her why she was wrong and showed her what her punishment was. He never threatened her, he never put her down, he didn't spend his time calling her out on all her faults. He did a simple rebuttal and the punishment. And I don't see anything wrong with him doing this on the same forum as she did.
I'm WAY more horrified by commenters than I am him. I read some where people told him to watch his daughter because she'd commit suicide/get addicted to drugs/become a prostitute/fail at life or that he needed to die. I honestly think that some of the one sentence comments are way worse than this 8 minute video he put online.
From what I could gather this had happened before and he tried talking to her and grounding her. She did it again so he stepped it up. Yes it was drastic but it doesn't sound like this was the first step. And I still see nothing wrong with him giving a rebuttal on the same public forum she posted the original rant on.
I kind of disagree as well. I am an adopted child. Both of my brothers were adopted from different families as well. Even though we were all raised the same there are soooooo many differences between all of us. My younger brother is great in school but has a ton of anger issues. He's better with them but if you push him he snaps and turns into one of the biggest douches you will ever meet. My older brother has a nice family never gets angry enough to get close to lashing out at people. I can be incredibly snarky if I'm annoyed. I love working and while I view family as important I don't view it as the holy grail like lot of people do. We all got the same thing put into us but my parents ended up with three drastically different people.
I don't smoke and am allergic to it. I think it makes people smell gross and I think it's stupid to want to die of lung cancer. But really smoking doesn't make you a bad person/parent.
I don't think he was being violent. Yes he used a gun but he never threatened his daughter. And everything he said wasn't an insult or a threat.
Except what she did was post untrue things and what he did was he said her actual chores and told her she was being disrespectful.
Agreed.
It sounds like this had happened before. And since this is the only taking away and destroying a computer video I have found from him and he said this situation has happened before I'm kind of guessing it didn't work.
I mean I guess for me I
1. Don't automatically see the use of a gun as violent. *And I'm terrified of guns for some reason*
2. Totally understand that if talking and grounding and other normal things don't work that sometimes you have to take a drastic measure.
3. Still consider the laptop his property and not hers. I was raised knowing what my parents bought for me to use was still theirs. I mean once I moved out anything I took I considered mine just because the idea of my parents busting into my apartment and raiding me sounds wrong.
4. Don't find anything he said disrespectful. She called another lady who comes and helps out there the cleaning lady, she complained about doing few chores than I did in elementary school and was just all around disrespectful. He came on and said what her chores really were, corrected her about calling the woman 'the cleaning lady', told her why she was wrong and showed her what her punishment was. He never threatened her, he never put her down, he didn't spend his time calling her out on all her faults. He did a simple rebuttal and the punishment. And I don't see anything wrong with him doing this on the same forum as she did.
I'm WAY more horrified by commenters than I am him. I read some where people told him to watch his daughter because she'd commit suicide/get addicted to drugs/become a prostitute/fail at life or that he needed to die. I honestly think that some of the one sentence comments are way worse than this 8 minute video he put online.
I have come to the conclusion from reading YouTube comments (not just on this but lots of clips) that there are a lot of psychos out there that watch YouTube. I can have fairly dark thoughts sometimes, but I would be horrified if I even *thought* what some of these people write, much less post it publicly!
I also don't see shooting something as inherently violent (and this is coming from someone who does not own a gun), but then again I grew up in an area where people routinely shoot inanimate objects for fun, so maybe it's a cultural thing...
I also don't see shooting something as inherently violent (and this is coming from someone who does not own a gun), but then again I grew up in an area where people routinely shoot inanimate objects for fun, so maybe it's a cultural thing...
It's a slightly different situation, but growing up, my dad constantly told my sister and myself to put our N64 up on the TV when we were done with it, don't leave it in the living room, on and on, and taking it away for a while didn't work, reminding us, nagging, grounding--none of that helped.
My dad stepping on it and crushing it? Oh yeah, that worked. We didn't get another N64, but we stopped leaving our crap in the middle of the living room.
Something about seeing the thing we loved destroyed really sunk in, in a way that pure punishment and reasonable explanation didn't.
My dad stepping on it and crushing it? Oh yeah, that worked. We didn't get another N64, but we stopped leaving our crap in the middle of the living room.
Something about seeing the thing we loved destroyed really sunk in, in a way that pure punishment and reasonable explanation didn't.