Chaz Moms and Moms-to-Be Chat (everyone welcome)

[~Jessie~]

I labored at a birth center for 27 hours... they really messed up and neglected so many things. I ended up with an emergency c-section almost 35 hours after I began labor. I took birthing classes, did tons of research, and basically believed I was the LAST person who would end up with a c-section. At that point, I was SO thankful for the hospital and epidural and western medicine!

My pregnancy was really boring. I had the flu when I was 4 months along, but all was fine.

I don't think I ever gave an update or opinion of cloth diapers. We've been using them for about 3.5 months almost exclusively. Nora hates the feeling of being wet, so we use disposables over night. We tried a couple of brands and decided Bumgenius are the best for her.

 

[Dizzy]

I'm preeclmptic. we're trying to hold off delivery for a week and a half so I'll be 37 when she comes, but I was 4cm and 20% effaced today. Definitely could use some Chazzer vibes right now, we're not ready yet. I've taken my sweet time getting things together and now it's crunch time and I'm all but on bed rest.

Good luck!!!!!


Jessie we are going for bum genius. Friend of mine uses them and can't say enough good things. Haven't bought any yet, got disposables for first weeks.

As for birth, it's SUCH a personal choice. All I can say is READ READ READ. Since being pregnant I've realised a few things. One: people put more effort into researching their next phone than birth. And two: women are totally disempowered a LOT by medical staff and decisions. Often being told 'we need to do this to keep baby safe' when actually there's no evidence to support it, or its just protocol.

You won't necessarily avoid stress or complications, but you can take control of your experience and feel empowered and not scared. And even if it ends in intervention you can feel positive you were involved every step and did everything you could I think choice should be top of the list, but medical staff should be offering mothers the evidence to support it and explain it. Mothers are more than capable of making informed decisions.

Hayley - watch 'the business of being born' it's on YouTube.

I have NO idea how my birth will go, I don't think you can plan for it at all... Which is why I'm flexible!!! But I do know what setting I want and why (oxytocin baby!), and I know what I don't want and why. And I'm hoping nature is kind to me guess we'll see on the day!

 

[release the hounds]

And two: women are totally disempowered a LOT by medical staff and decisions. Often being told 'we need to do this to keep baby safe' when actually there's no evidence to support it, or its just protocol.

It is important to go in prepared, and pay for someone with knowledge to be there with you. I shared our experience in another thread and after my wife's water breaking and going into labor on a wednesday night and still no baby on Friday, we ended up at the hospital. Halfway thru they switched doctors and this one was adamant we have a c-section and we're pretty strong willed and prepared people overall. If we wouldn't have had our midwife there, we probably would have. She had the surgical team prepared and was ready to wheel my wife into the next room.

We took our time and asked them to leave so we could talk. And everything the doctor was saying was about time and things not progressing, nothing ever about anybody being in any danger, so we said we're going to wait. She wasn't having it and my wife, after 3 days of labor and about 10 hours of pitocin to "get things moving" and no epidural, between contractions told the doctor to leave for refusing to treat her, and to get another doctor in there. The room went silent and they all left.

That doctor, in what i've now come to think was a sneaky ass move, came back in and turned up the pitocin to over double what it had been. I think she did that to cause some distress to show up on the fetal monitors so she could then come back and tell us the baby was in distress and then take over all medical decisions for us.

Thankfully the original doctor came back, turned everything off, told everyone to take a break and low and behold, once the intervention was dialed back, things happened normally and Eli was born a few hours later. I'm very pleased with the first (and last doctor) support staff was great, middle doctor was horrid.

But babies are big business in this country and our record of healthy mothers and babies doesn't hold up well to the rest of the world. Sure, we're better than malnurished populations giving birth in the dirt, but beyond that, we're pretty poor when it comes to delivering babies and their health immediately afterwards.

 

[Dizzy]

Sounds like a lot of the stories I've been hearing from mothers in the US. It's a bit of a postcode lottery here as to what kind of treatment to expect. I'm very lucky in some respects. As I live rurally I see the community midwives. There's only 4!! So I see the same one for each appointment. They're also the ones who staff the birth centre and do home births. So they're very supportive of choice.

If you live in a town or city you're more likely to see hospital midwives who don't see women in the community so have a different approach.

I'm on a few Facebook groups and I have to say the experiences some US women have is awful, and they have such battles for the birth they want... I don't envy them at all. One woman told me how she wasn't allowed to get out of bed after her waters broke!!! I mean.... Omg. She had a traumatic birth (pitocin and epi which unsurprisingly led to foetal distress and emergency c section) and was terrified for her second birth as she didn't think her body was able to do it!!! We chatted and she read some stuff and gave birth to her baby yesterday vaginally and brilliantly. She'd already scheduled a section and actually cancelled it after reading some things last minute. Not one of her doctors offered her any advice or support.. And it's all there to read if you search for it.

I wish I'd trained to be a midwife lol

 

[HayleyMarie]

Dizzy, I did watch that documentary and it was sure an eye opener. I'm so glad I live in Canada. Ha ha and midwives are getting more and more popular here. I live in a rural, active community. Home births are very popular here and I know we have a few midwives.

 

[~Jessie~]

I'm happy that we get to make so many decisions about where to have our babies and the care we receive, but unfortunately the percentage of non-hospital births here are very small. If hospitals allowed for more freedom of movement and less intervention it would be one thing, but they're so restrictive and controlling once you're there.

I feel content knowing that I did everything possible to take control of my birth. Nora was lodged sideways in my pelvis and I didn't dilate past a certain point for over 12 hours when I had my c-section. She had meconium in her lungs and her heart rate plummeted when pitocin was administered.

I labored hard naturally for over 30 hours, and I feel like I controlled my pain management well without drugs. I labored in the tub, on a birthing ball, etc. Changing positions really DOES help with pain management.

I actually loved the hospital I had my c-section at. It's only for women and babies and the doctors and staff were great. I was VERY thankful for medical intervention at that point. When Nora was pulled out, they had to suction meconium out of her lungs. We both had high grade fevers. Without medical intervention things could've gone an entirely different direction.

 

[HayleyMarie]

I bought a book called the mother of pregnancy books. It's about pregnancy in Canada. I just started it and so far I find it super interesting and the author has a sense of humour.

It's such a scary thought to decide to have children. I want kinds and want them shortly after getting married, but it's a terrifying thought. Are we ready? We are so active, I'm slightly scared about our lifestyle change. *please God give me an easy baby* so I can enjoy the experience of being a mother and still enjoy my adventurousness lifestyle at least some what.

 

[stardogs]

It's such a scary thought to decide to have children. I want kinds and want them shortly after getting married, but it's a terrifying thought. Are we ready? We are so active, I'm slightly scared about our lifestyle change. *please God give me an easy baby* so I can enjoy the experience of being a mother and still enjoy my adventurousness lifestyle at least some what.

I know those feels. Currently I'm almost exactly equal parts excited and terrified about all the changes, but at least it's 50-50; not so long ago it was more terrified than excited. LOL All of my friends have told me that they felt similar when standing on the edge of parenthood.

On the topic of birth experience, I was THRILLED to hear that the midwives I am planning to go to have a very good relationship with their local hospital, so if a transfer needs to happen, I know I won't have the added what ifs of how I'll be treated as a transfer.

One of the reasons I chose this midwifery practice is that they have 3 midwives vs the two recommended local OB/GYN practices that have 6-10 doctors. You don't know who you'll get until you are in labor and you see a different person every time you go to an appointment. Seems like that's just asking to run into at least a few who do not support at least some of your preferences/plans. No thanks!

 

[stardogs]

Oh and Hayley, I ran across this blog recently all on parenting kids in the outdoors. It's really neat!

http://kidproject.org/

 

[HayleyMarie]

Oh and Hayley, I ran across this blog recently all on parenting kids in the outdoors. It's really neat!

http://kidproject.org/

Oh thanks erin, I will creep that later when I get a chance.

I really want to raise my kids in nature and the outdoors. My parents did it and I had the most adventure filled, wonderful childhood. I am hoping to do the same.

 

[Lyzelle]

Just wanted to pop in and say I LOVED "The Business of Being Born"!

I think I brought it up at the very beginning of this thread, actually, and it was what really made me start thinking I could have children. Previously I didn't want them, then when I wanted them I was too scared to have them in hospitals because of all the scare-tactic documentaries I watched about how terrible they were.

They did a 'MORE of the Business of Being Born" series that went into more detail on certain subjects, too like Midwives, doulas, celebrity births and what they did, etc. I really, really enjoyed it and it gave me quite a bit of peace and mind! Lol.

 

[stardogs]

Just wanted to pop in and say I LOVED "The Business of Being Born"!

I think I brought it up at the very beginning of this thread, actually, and it was what really made me start thinking I could have children. Previously I didn't want them, then when I wanted them I was too scared to have them in hospitals because of all the scare-tactic documentaries I watched about how terrible they were.

They did a 'MORE of the Business of Being Born" series that went into more detail on certain subjects, too like Midwives, doulas, celebrity births and what they did, etc. I really, really enjoyed it and it gave me quite a bit of peace and mind! Lol.

TBOBB was one of my first forays into learning more about birth and birthing options and is what really got DH on board with doing something non-hospital tbh. This was very helpful. I watched the second one and found it good, too, but not nearly as far reaching.

DH really doesn't want to do a class on birth prep, but I do, so I'm not sure if I'll do in person stuff myself and/or do the "Birth Boot Camp" online classes with him at home.

 

[Dizzy]

Partners worry. They worry about you.. And the baby. Mine was really anxious about it all. But I tell him bits and send him links and show him clips and he's really taken it all on board I think the one that really hit home was the pitocin clip and also reading him bits from spiritual midwifery (ina may gaskin) about oxytocin and smooching LOL I also told him about the sphincter law! He liked that one. Imagine having a poo in a room full of strangers with bright lights shining on you and doctors poking you... Same theory!

 

[HayleyMarie]

I have watched the business of being born, but does anyone know where I can find "more business of being born" Youtube is failing me right now. I can only find 3 minute clips, not series.

 

[~Jessie~]

When I was in college I took a psychology course on women, and a big unit was on birth in the USA. It was very eye opening.

I definitely urge all women to know your options. Take charge of your birth. Whether it's in a hospital, birthing center, or at home. You need to be your own advocate.

There is nothing wrong with choosing one option over the other. My epidural was amazing and I can definitely see why women would choose it from the get go! I know I have a high pain tolerance and wasn't afraid of labor. It's not for everyone.

I can't believe this is Nora's first Christmas. Every year at this time I would wish I had a child. So happy she's here

_DSC9557.jpg by Chihuahuaesque, on Flickr

_DSC9577.jpg by Chihuahuaesque, on Flickr

_DSC9584.jpg by Chihuahuaesque, on Flickr

 

[HayleyMarie]

Jessie, Nora is just utterly adorable.

Since, I am on a researching roll. I've looked into midwives, and there is a clinic about an hour away. So that is an option. They regularly come to my town. And our health care covers the cost of using midwives because they are considered health care professionals. WINNING!!

I feel like I am getting ahead of myself ha ha

 

[milos_mommy]

I wanted a home birth but wasn't really a candidate due to seizure history, other medical issues....I actually LOVED my hospital birth experience. Our hospital has a very progressive labor and delivery....they're putting in birthing pools now. Not everyone in the US has those options

 

[Jules]

I don't have a desire to have a home birth, but we have the most amazing hospital around the corner!

We went for a tour today and to discuss the birth plan and it was awesome. The nurse was fully supportive of trying an unmedicated birth and took it all down. There was no pressure whatsoever. They have labor tubs, birthing balls, and bars. She stressed the importance of gravity, oxytocin, skin on skin after birth, etc.

 

[stardogs]

I don't have a desire to have a home birth, but we have the most amazing hospital around the corner!

We went for a tour today and to discuss the birth plan and it was awesome. The nurse was fully supportive of trying an unmedicated birth and took it all down. There was no pressure whatsoever. They have labor tubs, birthing balls, and bars. She stressed the importance of gravity, oxytocin, skin on skin after birth, etc.

That sounds EXCELLENT! So happy you have a place you are comfortable with!

 

[Dizzy]

I think it's just about owning your experience wherever it is, however you choose to do it. There's no right or wrong and to push one thing takes away from owning your own birth.

If you feel in charge, you feel confident and excited! If you feel it's bigger than you and a passive experience then that must be terrifying.....! And going into birth terrified simply can't be helpful!!!

That's my philosophy I'm sticking too!