Would you take your young child to pick out a dog?

MandyPug

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#41
We have a whole bit of a process to adoption so the applications are all weighted if there's a few at a time (not first come first serve). When i talk to adopters i recommend someone with small children come alone first and view the dogs and get an idea, then get an idea what's there, then come back with children because many of our dogs don't get to see alot of children and we take the dogs they select out away from the other dogs (in their indoor kennel if the other dogs are outdoors, or vice versa), then submit the application and if approved for adoption they then come back for a third visit with their dogs if applicable and their kids and we take them to a separate room to watch the interaction.

I know it's not possible for that with all adoption agencies but i think having the child come in the selection process is important to see the reaction of the dog especially in a rescue/shelter environment.
 

Romy

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#42
I would have taken my daughter. They might have just talked the dog up too much beforehand and created high expectations in the child. i.e. "Hey we're getting a doggy! Let's go meet him! Won't this be great!?!"

Instead of explaining that the family is looking for just the right doggy, and that you're probably going to have to meet several before finding the right one. Learning to deal with disappointment is an important skill for kids to learn. I wouldn't deny my daughter the opportunity. Okay, that sort of sounds wrong, lol.

ETA: Aurelia is two and a half. When we were going to pick out Kaia, she loved playing with all the puppies, but wasn't too sad about leaving. I mean, she asked if we could go back and play with them again some time, but she didn't have a giant fit about not bringing one home.
 

sparks19

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#43
perhaps that is why the local shelter and many shelters in our area won't adopt to ANYONE with small children no matter what.... which is kind of a shame.

had we had Hannah sooner beezer and Belle would both be without us and we would be without them. and belle was there for over 6 months and then that shelter shut down... and Beezer couldn't find a family because he was so unruly.

so what would have happen to both of them if we hadn't come along? luckily before we had Hannah in which case we would have been totally written off.

and they are both WONDERFUL with Hannah and vice versa
 

sparks19

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#44
I would have taken my daughter. They might have just talked the dog up too much beforehand and created high expectations in the child. i.e. "Hey we're getting a doggy! Let's go meet him! Won't this be great!?!"

Instead of explaining that the family is looking for just the right doggy, and that you're probably going to have to meet several before finding the right one. Learning to deal with disappointment is an important skill for kids to learn. I wouldn't deny my daughter the opportunity. Okay, that sort of sounds wrong, lol.
exactly

and not to derail the thread but this is EXACTLY the issue with school and such these days. kids CAN'T experience disappointment. if they try out for the team and aren't good enough they still need to make it because it would hurt their feelings otherwise. if they don't do well on the test oh well... can't use red pen cause that would hurt their feelings.

They NEED to learn how to deal with dissappointment. it's a big part of life and wh ile NO parent likes to WITNESS that it's nessecary. I HATE to see Hannah disappointed and it's hard to stick to our rules sometimes... but we MUST stick to them if she is to learn ANYTHING and if she is to KNOW what we expect of her.

disappointement is HARD but is best learned earlier in life otherwise you end up with an adult who cannot handle rejection. and sometimes the opportunity to teach your child disappointment is WAY more valuable than teaching them otherwise. it's not FUN and no one wants to see that disappointment on their childs face... but it is IMPORTANT
 

smkie

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#45
like I said in previous post... that is EXACTLY how we felt about Beezer

he was wild, crazy and tore open the thumb of the woman who worked there who brought him in on a leash. He was completely INSANE. they had to carry him up the stairs even because he wouldn't take the stairs on his own. He was OUT of control. and I thought OMG we are NOT taking this dog home.

We brought belle in and things got better actually. they met, they played and they drank from the same water bowl at the same time.

and then they asked us if we wanted to try to walk him. Leashes were his big issue. we thought HA ok we will try. they put a leash on him and he went CRAZY. then they h anded the leash to brian and POOF... he was a different dog. I can't explain it. Brian took the leash and he calmed... IMMEDIATELY. they had told us before that no one had been able to walk him and that's why no one had taken him.

but Brian took the lead and he was cool. We walked outside (I had belle and Brian had Beezer) and we had a nice, calm, uneventful walk. we even took him up some steps and he was a complete angel.

it was then that we knew he was coming home with us no matter what.

I guess sometimes you jusgt KNOW and other times you don't and no matter how many visits... I feel if you don't just KNOW it... it's not right.
I tell people all the time..when your heart goes gathump and you just know..they dont' believe me. I was so certain without a doubt that Victor was the one. THen i get there and see this neurotic, over the top hyper, smelly, skinny, googly eyed, flailing limbs, add, rubber necked pup. All i think is ick..and wrapped him up and took him home. For weeks my mother said "take him back..you don't have to do this.":D THere is that click, that spark, that something that brings two souls together when its just right. To be honest if I had been there with a small child I would have thought No way this is going to work. Hyia was little little back then and it was weeks before I could have the two together with total supervision and him leashed to me. He bit through your hand if you reached for the ball. Now look at him. SO maybe the important stuff is most of what happens after wards.
 

sparks19

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#46
I tell people all the time..when your heart goes gathump and you just know..they dont' believe me. I was so certain without a doubt that Victor was the one. THen i get there and see this neurotic, over the top hyper, smelly skinny, googly eyed, flailing limbs, add, rubber necked pup. All i think is ick..and wrapped him up and took him home. For weeks my mother said "take him back..you don't have to do this." I am so glad I did!:D THere is that click, that spark, that something that brings two souls together when its just right.
LOL I totally understand. this is exactly how we felt with Beezer although in a shorter period of time as that was all we had.

He was CRAZY and out of control and seeing him draw blood on the lady that brought him in just because he was on a leash. OY.

but when we got our chance alone with him. It made sense. to him and to use. He needed us and we needed him. and had WE not taken him home I don't know what his fate would have been.

and since then he has proven to be an invaluable family member. IE: the night someone was in our backyard with a flashlight and unannounced. He was fully prepared to protect this home and his family and was charging the door and running into it full steam to keep that man out. He is our best boy hands down and I can't believe I ever thought about not bringing him home. :hail:

yeah sometimes you just KNOW... there is a moment of clarity. and unfortunately... if it ever came down to it for whatever reason that he needed to be rehomed... we would put him down. he was such a WRECK when he came to us and still has his insecure moments that just make us cry... we would have to put him to sleep. He could NOT handle yet ANOTHER home. He just couldn't I don't think. He needs us as much as we need him and I think that's what makes us all work so well.

so yeah I agree... when you KNOW you just KNOW. Otherwise... multiple visits ARE in order
 

smkie

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#47
NO way I would even board VIctor in a kennel. I hear you. ONe hundred percent.
 

ACooper

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#48
disappointement is HARD but is best learned earlier in life otherwise you end up with an adult who cannot handle rejection. and sometimes the opportunity to teach your child disappointment is WAY more valuable than teaching them otherwise. it's not FUN and no one wants to see that disappointment on their childs face... but it is IMPORTANT
I sooooo agree with this. I see kids who can't lose at a board game (or cards, or any game) without tossing pieces and having a stomping "THEY CHEATED" fit. I see kids that yell, scream, and even PUNCH their parents when they don't get what they want in the store (we've all seen it) I see kids that think ANYTHING they want is OWED to them just because they want it. It's just a sad, sad, thing.

And the parents that do this can kid themselves if they want, but they aren't REALLY doing it for the kids if they'd be honest. They are doing for THEMSELVES so they don't have to suffer when they see the sadness/disappointment in their child's face. That is a hard thing to take and is painful. It pains me deeply when I don't give in and give them everything they want, I LOVE to see them happy and smiling but I know it IS better in the long run if I don't because some day they need to live in the world without mommy fixing everything and the real world ISN'T going to do that for them.

There's a reason for that old saying of "This is going to hurt ME more than it does YOU" LOL..........because in most cases, IT'S TRUE!!!!
 
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#49
I sooooo agree with this. I see kids who can't lose at a board game (or cards, or any game) without tossing pieces and having a stomping "THEY CHEATED" fit.
That was my sister. EVERY SINGLE TIME we played a game, until she was around 9 years old. Not for lack of effort. My parents didn't ever give in to her, let her throw her hissy fits and never gave in, but she never seemed to learn. We must have gone 5-6 years with her throwing temper tantrums every time we played a game. Eventually we stopped playing games for a while, and then when we started again, she was fine. I think she just outgrew it.
 

ACooper

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#50
Oh I had a brother like that too, I know what you mean! He 'outgrew it' eventually too...........but just imagine what your sister and my brother would be like TODAY if our parents had given in or done things differently? :eek: Some kids DO take longer to get the 'big picture' you just have to stick to your guns and keep plugging away :D

ETA: I have a brother in law like that now! He is a grown man, (raised pretty much an only child) but he cannot stand to lose a game of anything.........he gets REALLY annoyed, cranky and bitchy towards my sister when it happens :mad: I must say, I try EXTRA hard to beat him at things just to show him up due to his attitude! LMAO.........hence he always wants to be my card partner instead of against me :rofl1:
 

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#51
When I rescued Cupid from the Humane Society, I saw a number of other families with kids there. One I will always remember. The young girl (between 5-7--I'm not great at gauging age) was cuddling a chihuahua when the mom came into the small dog room and told her to put the dog back in the kennel. She had chosen two cats, and they couldn't get the dog.

There was much sobbing, and they eventually had to pull the girl out of the room. Sobbing the whole way. What I remember most besides the sobbing is the mother explaining, "I'm more of a cat person."

That being the case, I would not have taken my child in to look at the dogs. Seems like a no-brainer to me. I would certainly want my child (if I had one) to meet a pet I was going to bring home. But I wouldn't put her in a situation where she was doomed to disappointment.
 

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