What Would you do (this is touchy)

Love4Pits

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#1
What would you do if you knew your son had been molested in the past but was not a sexual predator himself and actually touched your daughter inaporpiatly in the past. Would you cut this young man out of your life completely or would you help him knowing that he is not a monster just sick?

I know this is a touchy subject I just saw this and wanted to ask others opinions.
 
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#3
Wait I dont get it..So my son is the sick one and he touched my daughter ,or his sister? Is that right? Or did someone touch both my daughter and my son?
 

2pups622

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#4
LMAO i was saying the same thing !


shredhead (DOG LOVER) said:
Wait I dont get it..So my son is the sick one and he touched my daughter ,or his sister? Is that right? Or did someone touch both my daughter and my son?
 

Love4Pits

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#5
your daughter and his sister and yes i have lol i thought it would make an interesting discussion. I never watch that show but It was interesting today
 

Saje

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#6
LOL Scarlette where did this come from?

I think I need more information before I can give an honest reply.
 

Love4Pits

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#7
haha my friend and I were talking about Doctor Phil and this kid anf his family was on this show and they said they hated him and that he was dead to him. Lol im not a sick weirdo i swear I just thought what would you do in that situation.
 

Saje

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#8
When I first started reading I thought OMG what has happened to Scarlette's kid... wait, she doesn't have a son. Eh?!!?!!!???


LOL
 

Gustav

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#9
Errrr! Not really sure what I would do!! Get a counsellor, Shrink, Policeman or Perhaps a Fireman! (The fireman is for covering my men in uniform thing! mmmmmm!!)
 

bogolove

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#11
I wanted to see what Dr. Phil said to him but I was at work, I missed it. What happened?

I really need tivo.

Or better yet to find a hobby........
 

smkie

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#12
I am not going to say who or when or how..I am involved in a number of children i didn't give birth to on a daily basis. When my children were small I had about 5 in the house, two of which were mine. Not babysitting, just here and not home, everyday. I could have sent them home but to what.. Then when they were a little older i moved into an apartment complex. I was sick of parents there, they put them all in the courtyard and because I was on the ground floor with the best view and my children were out there,and I was keeping an eye on mine... they decided they didn't need to be and that was only the beginning. I got stories u wouldn't believe about the parents of today..most having thier problems because they are messed up emotional over things just like this.

anyway here is what we did..about a situation not unlike this.

First...i didn't over react..even if my insides did, my outside said this is over my head..i do not know what to make of this..i love this person with my whole heart and do not want any harm for him so I did what I always do..I WENT FOR HELP First i set up a counciling session with people who are experts on children. IN ALMOST EVERY MAJOR CITY ACROSS AMERICA THERE IS SOMEONE THAT WILL LISTEN.YOU.THEY LISTEN SO GOOD THEY HAVE SET UP GRANTS THAT ARE AVAIBLE. IN KANSAS CITY THERE IS A PLACE CALLED THE CHILDREN'S PLACE..IT IS THERE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN..THEY MADE ROOM FOR US TO WORK THINGS OUT AND FIND THE WAYS WE NEEDED TO COPE AND GO ON TO LIVE A FULL LIFE
I let them evaluate and let me know if this person was capable of growing up to be a sexual preditor, harm to someone, or himself..and that is the best advice I can give you. There is help available, and the younger the problem is addressed, the more no one including the one the trespassed lives forever either feeling bad about themselves for the rest of their life, a guilt that can cripple a life, or the next in line to repeat the behavior as it is daily in most peoples life. 4 out of 5 women are raped most as children or very young adult...usually by a family member or someone close. 3 out of 5 boys. THat is just 7 out of every ten people you know. These children need the right direction to healthly lives and they are not getting it in home.
If during this post i haven't made sense, there are 5 noisy young men right behind me talking and watching the simpson's I can't hear myself think
 
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#13
There's never one answer because these situations are so terribly complicated. The only common action in every instance would be to make certain the daughter was never alone with the son - ever. And of course, intensive therapy for everyone involved.
 
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#14
Question, is this a child touching a child (siblings playing doctor) or an adult son touching a minor sister?

This is touchy. I will allow those who can defend themselves to defend themselves and not get involved, but there is a line I will step over.

Children cannot defend themselves and those that abuse children in anywayare not human, I am totally unforgiving.
 

smkie

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#15
Good grief you got me all worked up over dr Phil? That is my fault for not reading the first of the post..but I thought after wards I would also ask if the boy was taking any antidepressents..for many have sexual side effects..that mixed with harmones can make for great trouble. First soceity depresses our children..that is if we are not abandoning them or better yet ignoring them..then we fill them full of wellbutrin, zoloft, anything but address the problems in the first place.
This is why i get so carried away when topics like this come up.
These boys here are from a wide background..my house being the most sane, i can say that with all honesty. One young man tonight was brought over by his friends..he has lived with us last year until I asked him to leave due to drug usage. His Mother threw him out when he turned 17,. That seems to be the answer these days..17,18, we have done nothing to prepare you for this, but out you go..anway he just got out of drug rehab...and I had to hear about how close he came to putting draino in his veins....some people came by and he left, we all assumed for the worst, but it isn't and he is back now..it is like walking a tight rope..he is the weakest link and we hope not to lose him..most of these kids have a tale of woe and my son brings them home like some we know bring home shelter animals. It was hard enough when I was a teen to want to live, these days I probably wouldn't have made it. If their are angels, may the walk beside every one of them..to qoute BEAUTIFUL JOE...the world is a cruel place for man and beast...
 

Sunnypup

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#16
this is touchy and I honestly can't say what I would do if it were my kids. I do, however work in a foster home for troubled teenaged boys and have (imagine the genius behind this one) a sexually abused kid and a sexual abuser! I have serious issues with both. For one there are decent chances that the abused will grow into being an abuser even with "proper" psychological treatment. I am not saying that I don't think one or both could be rehabilitated to be safe and "normal" members of society but I do know that there are risks. I would like to say I would never disown one of my foster sons because of their problems( I mean that is why they are in my house...they have problems) but there definatly needs to be some family counsuling, intervention and perhaps a secure facility for a short amount of time for the abuser.
 
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#17
I was unaware of these side effects of anti depressants in juviniles (I was on Imimprimine(sp), at the time was also used with dyslexics, I think, and bed wetters (a symtom of dyslexia) in my teens to curb some violent behaviors of mine, a few years later I was diagnosed as a dyslexic, so I did not take such things into consideration with my response earlier. Better living through chemicals my ass!

If even a small protion of sexual abusers are part of an abused/abuser cycle I feel justified with my unforgiving attitude towards those who hurt those who cant defend themselves. Rehabilitation for an abuser should not be considerred an option because the damamge done is and can be worse than death for the abused.
 
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smkie

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#18
When my son was very small, and my daughter in about the fourth grade we had an experience that makes parenting so dang hard and you try to do the "right" thing and it backfires on you bad. You know the saying it takes a community to raise a child?
One of my daughter's friends was the one i thought needed someone to care..i went to her school on parent's night..when I fixed easter baskets i made her's right along..nobody cared for her and we knew she was being abused. We called, everybody called and children's services did nothing. She was in the fourth grade for pete's sake..and nothing was done. She managed to inflict her pain on many of the neighborhood children..doing to them some of what was being done to her. One family had to move because of this...she told things on children to other children that was harmful too, hurtful things. So on one side i see this pretty young child.with a lovely laugh .and i know the damage she racked growing up too. EVery child I have come into contaact with while raising my own has a story of pain..one kind or the other. You can't rescue a child without taking a chance with every child under the roof..What do you do...if anybody knows what Dr Phil said I for one would like to know his quick answer to a worldwide problem...so many of these children act out on animals first...
 

smkie

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#20
The first thing i thought when I read this thread is oh no,,what is happening to someone's child..i am still pretty new to the forum..i jumped on my soapbox and made a fool of myself, but my intentions were good...every child, bar four that have been in contact with me while i raised my own, had a story to tell, and every time i heard their history out of their own mouths my heart broke..two girls i would have given anything to call my own..good girls thru and thru..one parent serving time for abandonment..she left them locked in the bathroom in a house there was no electricity and they had to drink the toilet water because the water was shut off too..she just locked the door on four children and left. I hope she rots in jail forever..their father was certifiably nuts..yet those were the most wonderful to girls you could ever hope to meet. They raised each other. The oldest asked one day if she could call me mother and i just choked. Her name was mary, that is why my mary dog has the name as well.I would have taken her as my daughter in a heartbeat. Mary taught her sister to read when she was 5 years old. Now they are adults and their lives are so rough..I saw so many children raising their siblings and not always kindly.. getting away from the apartment complex of woes became a necessity..i just couldn't take it anymore. I "babysat" Mary and her sister for almost 5 years. This is one child's story..and i wrote the other..one boy lived with his grandparents he told me "because my parent think i am to fat and they don't want me around" ..the boy next door was being raised by grandparents as well..My grandaughter is being raised by me..and that is a good thing. i have managed to raise my son to be gentle, honest, and as fair a man you would ever want to meet.
Have anyone here seen Innocent Born Killers? the movie? That is the best movie i have seen in a long time that points it's finger at society. Somewhere i read that the beginning of the end of a society is when they begin killing their babies.
 

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