What should I do...!?
- Thread starter SmexyPibble
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I kind of have to agree with Sparks on seperating yourself from them both.
If David is so[sorry, but true] mentally unstable that he would kill himself if he didn't have you as a friend, he has serious issues he needs to work out with himself. He was about to shoot himself? Honestly? If that's not a red flag that he needs to be in a facility, I don't know what else is. If you really want to be his friend, you need to tell his parents AND a counselor at your school. Both. He needs help, more help than you think you can give him. I would be heart broken if I didn't have my friends, but to want to end my own life over it is just not normal or healthy. He needs to be more comfortable with himself than he is, and you just being his friend isn't going to help him short or long term.
As for your boyfriend, be prepared for this to happen as long as you're dating him. Really. If he is so potentially-violently jealous about someone you're just friends with and have been for a long time, your boyfriend has serious issues and this will be a problem of yours for, most likely, as long as you're dating. I would say "people can change" however, he knows it upsets you, I'm assuming you've asked him to stop, and you guys have already established you love eachother, and he has continued to be an idiot, that's more than likely not ever going to stop. He is obviously a really jealous person, and not to mention, a violent one. Sure, my boyfriend wasn't to pleased about me spending time with one of my best male friends, and it was hard for him at first, however there is a BIG difference between "I generally am uncomfortable with you being around thisperson" and "I want to kill your friend". Normally functional people don't do that. Maybe it is just because he's young or something, but I was 15 when I started dating and I've never come across anyone that.. crazy. I think you need to set your standards a little bit higher and aim for more normalcy, because that really isn't normal or healthy.
It really sounds like you are associating yourself with people that you should really be distancing yourself from. I hope you figure this out, but most importantly, make the best choices for your own well being, and Davids. Easier said than done, yes. But David will thank you one day, and you will thank yourself. Good luck, you're too young to be dealing with this kind of crap!
If David is so[sorry, but true] mentally unstable that he would kill himself if he didn't have you as a friend, he has serious issues he needs to work out with himself. He was about to shoot himself? Honestly? If that's not a red flag that he needs to be in a facility, I don't know what else is. If you really want to be his friend, you need to tell his parents AND a counselor at your school. Both. He needs help, more help than you think you can give him. I would be heart broken if I didn't have my friends, but to want to end my own life over it is just not normal or healthy. He needs to be more comfortable with himself than he is, and you just being his friend isn't going to help him short or long term.
As for your boyfriend, be prepared for this to happen as long as you're dating him. Really. If he is so potentially-violently jealous about someone you're just friends with and have been for a long time, your boyfriend has serious issues and this will be a problem of yours for, most likely, as long as you're dating. I would say "people can change" however, he knows it upsets you, I'm assuming you've asked him to stop, and you guys have already established you love eachother, and he has continued to be an idiot, that's more than likely not ever going to stop. He is obviously a really jealous person, and not to mention, a violent one. Sure, my boyfriend wasn't to pleased about me spending time with one of my best male friends, and it was hard for him at first, however there is a BIG difference between "I generally am uncomfortable with you being around thisperson" and "I want to kill your friend". Normally functional people don't do that. Maybe it is just because he's young or something, but I was 15 when I started dating and I've never come across anyone that.. crazy. I think you need to set your standards a little bit higher and aim for more normalcy, because that really isn't normal or healthy.
It really sounds like you are associating yourself with people that you should really be distancing yourself from. I hope you figure this out, but most importantly, make the best choices for your own well being, and Davids. Easier said than done, yes. But David will thank you one day, and you will thank yourself. Good luck, you're too young to be dealing with this kind of crap!
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I am about your age smexypebble and one of my best friends is a girl. If she was going out with someone I didn't like there is no way I would ever ask her to stop dating him. If I heard something aabout him I'm not sure what I would say. If it's really bad I would probably tell her and then let her work it out for herself but if she is being really stupid I would probably talk to her parents and see if they could help her.
To me best friends are always more important than boy friends. Boy friends will come and go, but best friends, if they are loyal, will be there for a long time.
When I was 15, I had a best guy friend. When I started dating my best friend didn't mind, we've been friends for 18 years now (then 15), so he's more like my brother. My boy friend disliked him very very much - mostly because he was judging him by his cover (he dresses punk) and because he was jelous as he!! whenever I wanted to do something with my bestfriend. It was nothiing like this though =( We did in the end split, mostly for that reason.
When I was 15, I had a best guy friend. When I started dating my best friend didn't mind, we've been friends for 18 years now (then 15), so he's more like my brother. My boy friend disliked him very very much - mostly because he was judging him by his cover (he dresses punk) and because he was jelous as he!! whenever I wanted to do something with my bestfriend. It was nothiing like this though =( We did in the end split, mostly for that reason.
I agree with sparks's posts, too.
I had a friend when I was about your age who threatened to kill herself a number of times. I freaked out every time and ran to her aid. At the end of the day, she was really just very unhappy and was primarily seeking attention -- and I don't know whether or not that's the case with your friend. It was a very, very difficult time in my life, because I went through the emotional ringer every time she "threatened" and felt responsible to make sure that she never went through with it. It was actually a very valuable lesson for me -- you cannot be another person's safety net; you cannot make them whole or happy or want to live. You can offer support and suggest help, but you can't let your life become about them fixing theirs, and you can't let your emotional well-being trigger off of that other person's.
In your case, both boys sound immature, and I hope that's all there is going on. I think that you need to look hard at both relationships and consider what is good for *you*.
I had a friend when I was about your age who threatened to kill herself a number of times. I freaked out every time and ran to her aid. At the end of the day, she was really just very unhappy and was primarily seeking attention -- and I don't know whether or not that's the case with your friend. It was a very, very difficult time in my life, because I went through the emotional ringer every time she "threatened" and felt responsible to make sure that she never went through with it. It was actually a very valuable lesson for me -- you cannot be another person's safety net; you cannot make them whole or happy or want to live. You can offer support and suggest help, but you can't let your life become about them fixing theirs, and you can't let your emotional well-being trigger off of that other person's.
In your case, both boys sound immature, and I hope that's all there is going on. I think that you need to look hard at both relationships and consider what is good for *you*.
Well the posts about David being jealous were right. He came over last night and asked me straight up if I would be mad if he kissed me. I said, yes, I'd be effing pissed, and he tried to kiss me anyway.
I'm so freaking mad about it it's not even funny; David started all of this because he wanted a chance with me and he knew he wouldn't get one when I'm with my boyfriend, so he threatened and called my boyfriend names and stuff like that and told my boyfriend he was going to try to kiss me.
I think he had a RIGHT to be extremely mad, I'd probably be just as mad if it were me; if not even worse.
I am so, so, so freaking pissed off. I talked to my brother today about it, and he said to ditch David if he was going to pull sh*t like that; he said David KNEW I had a boyfriend, KNEW I'd be mad if he tried anything and KNEW it was unacceptable, and he did it anyway, and that David was the one with the problem.
:madgo:
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:madgo:
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Renee, Bobby was over the other day, he thinks it's all bullshit. He knows my boyfriend, hell, he introduced him to me. Bobby's actually been in hiding...he just came out of it and came to my house a few days ago; his girlfriend (Krystal) ended up attacking him and trying to choke him to death, and scratched and bruised and bloodied his face, neck, and chest. Bobby took her by the neck and threw her up against the book shelf, and she ended up needing to go to the hospital. He got pictures of his injuries, and a detective is still checking out the case and such. It is a felony since he broke her nose, and I'm just praying it will all turn out okay.
I'm so freaking mad about it it's not even funny; David started all of this because he wanted a chance with me and he knew he wouldn't get one when I'm with my boyfriend, so he threatened and called my boyfriend names and stuff like that and told my boyfriend he was going to try to kiss me.
I think he had a RIGHT to be extremely mad, I'd probably be just as mad if it were me; if not even worse.I am so, so, so freaking pissed off. I talked to my brother today about it, and he said to ditch David if he was going to pull sh*t like that; he said David KNEW I had a boyfriend, KNEW I'd be mad if he tried anything and KNEW it was unacceptable, and he did it anyway, and that David was the one with the problem.
:madgo:
:wall:
:madgo:
:wall:
Renee, Bobby was over the other day, he thinks it's all bullshit. He knows my boyfriend, hell, he introduced him to me. Bobby's actually been in hiding...he just came out of it and came to my house a few days ago; his girlfriend (Krystal) ended up attacking him and trying to choke him to death, and scratched and bruised and bloodied his face, neck, and chest. Bobby took her by the neck and threw her up against the book shelf, and she ended up needing to go to the hospital. He got pictures of his injuries, and a detective is still checking out the case and such. It is a felony since he broke her nose, and I'm just praying it will all turn out okay.
Smexy, I know situations have forced you to grow up too quickly for your age.. but I do agree with Park & Grammy & everyone who said that you need to part yourself from everyone you've mentioned in this thread in order to rids yourself of troubles & improve your life, one little step at the time.
Bobby. I know you love him dearly.. but he & his troubled life really take a tolls on you. By being so violent & getting in troubles with the laws so frequently, he's inadvertently & unintentionally taught you some very wrong lessons about life. You seem to idolize him, which I find very worrisome.
Your friend. Good friends are nothing like he who you've described to us. A good friend will encourage you to focus in school & healthy activities. He will not be mean to you nor the people that you love. He will respect your choice even when he knows you're making a mistake, yet he'll never leave you just in case you fall - so he can be right there to lift you up. He will not be jealous of your happiness.. and he will certainly be smart enough not to kill himself over ANYTHING.
Your boyfriend. I know some will disgree, but I don't think involving in a serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationship at 14 is a very smart choice, lets alone having it with someone who's mean in thoughts & actions toward your friends & full of hatres to the point where he thinks he could kill!. Having a boyfriend will make you focus on him, while you really should focus on something else WAY more important like school, developing your individuality & building your characters, like learning about good, positive things by acquaintant yourself with good, positive people, as they say, "If you are near ink you'll get black, if you're near a light, you'll be bright."
Remember that "people are known by the company they keep". So choose your companies wisely.
You are always in my prayers. May you find the guidance you desparately need to find your way out of all these troubles..
*hugs*
Bobby. I know you love him dearly.. but he & his troubled life really take a tolls on you. By being so violent & getting in troubles with the laws so frequently, he's inadvertently & unintentionally taught you some very wrong lessons about life. You seem to idolize him, which I find very worrisome.
Your friend. Good friends are nothing like he who you've described to us. A good friend will encourage you to focus in school & healthy activities. He will not be mean to you nor the people that you love. He will respect your choice even when he knows you're making a mistake, yet he'll never leave you just in case you fall - so he can be right there to lift you up. He will not be jealous of your happiness.. and he will certainly be smart enough not to kill himself over ANYTHING.
Your boyfriend. I know some will disgree, but I don't think involving in a serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationship at 14 is a very smart choice, lets alone having it with someone who's mean in thoughts & actions toward your friends & full of hatres to the point where he thinks he could kill!. Having a boyfriend will make you focus on him, while you really should focus on something else WAY more important like school, developing your individuality & building your characters, like learning about good, positive things by acquaintant yourself with good, positive people, as they say, "If you are near ink you'll get black, if you're near a light, you'll be bright."
Remember that "people are known by the company they keep". So choose your companies wisely.
You are always in my prayers. May you find the guidance you desparately need to find your way out of all these troubles..
*hugs*
