What do I do? :(

Paige

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#1
My boyfriend and I aren't talking right now. I needed some time to think. He actually suggested that I take some time away from him to do so. So I am. This happened two days ago. There's more to the story as there always is but basically here's the pickle I'm in.

Our mutual friend is leaving to another country for a year. He's known her for 3+ years. They are extremely close. I've only known her three months. He is going to the airport with a few of our other mutual friends to go say good-bye. She really wants me to come. I really don't want to make anyone feel weird. I'm not ready to talk to him about it yet and I don't want to add our crap ontop of him having to say good-bye to his best friend. But she wants me to go.

It feels like a double edge sword here. I go and make the situation harder on him. I don't go and she'll be upset. However I am jumping to the conclusion it's going to be harder for him as he never said that. I did leave him a message asking how he'd feel about it but he's at work so he hasn't responded yet. All my buddies keep telling me to come and screw how he's going to feel about the situation as I should be more concerned about how Alex will feel if I don't go beause she's the one leaving. But that doesn't sound right either.


Blah. I feel like such a drama queen right now. I have no idea what to do. Someone tell me what to do please? It may not seem like that big of a deal, but I'm crying right now because I love Alex and I want to be able to say good-bye to her.
:(
 

zoe08

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#2
I don't know what the problems are between you and your bf, but if your friend that is leaving wants you to go, I would go. She is leaving for a year and you won't get to see her for a long time, so I would go.

If you and your bf work things out, great, if not, well then you wouldn't want to miss saying goodbye to your friend just because of him.
 

sparks19

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#3
Well I think you are off to a good start by leaving him a message about it.

I would just tell him that Alex has requested you be there to say goodbye and you would love to see her before she leaves so you are planning to attend.

relationships can be hard but I would go and I wouldn't purposely try to avoid him while you are there.

I obviously don't know what is going on between the two of you but I wouldn't miss seeing my friend off. Maybe this would be a good chance to say hello to him or talk about what is going on between the two of you... after your friend leaves that is.

I'm sorry Paige ((((HUGS))))
 

Buddy'sParents

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#5
It's not about you and your bf, it's about your friend, who is leaving for a whole year. Go say goodbye.
 

sparks19

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#7
it's easy to say "forget it and just go" but when you are the one who has to face the person you love while you are on the outs it's not so easy as all that.
 

Buddy'sParents

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#8
it's easy to say "forget it and just go" but when you are the one who has to face the person you love while you are on the outs it's not so easy as all that.
No, of course not.

But she may regret it at at a later time and no matter how you twist it, her going to see her friend off is NOT about her relationship with her boyfriend. Sometimes certain situations require we be a bigger person despite any aches in our hearts.
 

Romy

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#9
Does she live nearby? Maybe you can take her out to lunch just the two of you as a last goodbye if being at the airport would be too awkward?
 

Saje

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#10
I like Romy's idea but if that doesn't work then I think you and Alex should figure out a way to be there together.
 

BigDog2191

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#11
Personally, I would go. She's a friend that's leaving and wants to say good bye to you.

You and your boyfriends problems can be dealt with afterward... I just think it would be a bit selfish on both your parts if you didn't go, know what I mean?

Just my two cents.
 
R

RedyreRottweilers

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#12
Maybe you could chat with the BF and tell him that you both need to put your differences aside for a day in order to see Alex off.

His reaction to this will tell you quite a lot about what sort of man he is, IMO.
 

xpaeanx

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#13
If it were me, I would text him today(as you have) and just explain that your friend asked you to come see her off with everyone. I would also tell him you're not ready to talk about whatever the problem is just yet.

And I'm not sure how you guys were planning on getting to the airport, but make sure you either take your own car or are not in the same one as him. Don't try to obviously avoid him at the airport... but being stuck in close quarters(ie a car) with someone you don't want to discuss certain things with can REALLY suck...I still stick with taking your own car... this way it's not like you're really trying to avoid him.

Anyway, if he's a halfway decent person(which having no problem giving you a few days to yourself to think things through really makes me think he is) he'll understand that the time at the airport is about your friend, and he'll put things aside for the day and not bring whatever the problem is up.

I wish you lots of luck!
 

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