Ugh, kids these days

[iwantmypup]

I just wanted to say that I don't want this to turn into a debate, I feel like we have enough of those going on.
I have this friend, she's a year younger than me(she's 16). About 4 months ago she found out she was pregnant. The whole time I'm just there for her, I wasn't like "You need an abortion!" or "KEEP THE BABY!", I was just there for her and if she needed anything, regardless of her decision. The only opinion that I have told her, was that whatever she decided, she needed to decide it soon.
So, we don't go to the same school so months go by and I didn't see her. Yesterday I was talking to her and she was like "Yeah when I was pregnant blah blah blah", so naturally I asked what happened/etc..
And basically she was "Yeah my boyfriend wanted me to get an abortion and so did I, but omg did you know they were so expensive?! so I did it myself."
I'm reading the text and my jaw. literally. dropped. Apparently she did it with "pills and alcohol and..other stuff" No clue what that "other" stuff is, I honestly didn't want to ask.

I am just so happy that I have a parent that's really open about these things. I'm also really glad that I am knowledgable enough to know not to do this. To each their own, but dang...this just left me heartbroken.
For the record, I am not upset about the "abortion" part, I'm just sad about the WAY she went about it.

I just needed to get this out, it's just been eating me up. *sigh*

 

[Lyzelle]

If the pregnancy is early enough, it isn't hard to actually do it yourself. Probably no more than inducing your stubborn period with a carp load of coffee(or does that only work for me?). But the fact that she used "pills, alcohol and other stuff" is pretty worrying. That isn't safe or healthy by any means. Just sad. And what if it hadn't worked? Ugh.

 

[Dakotah]

I am one of those people who are "to each their own" but this is just... wow. My jaw dropped and tears came to my eyes when I saw what she did to end her pregnancy.

Yes abortions are VERY expensive. And yea, I'm sure there are ways to end a pregnancy on your own terms but like Lyzelle said its not safe or healthy.
I wish she could of just went to a doctor, they would of helped here. Well the ones here do, idk about out in California.

Although this worries me, I really hope she can find guidance, so to speak. Because though it may not bother her now, it possibly could later down the road.

 

[cloudcandy]

That is very upsetting,I feel very sorry for her.
Not nice for someone to go through such a traumatic thing and not to even have it done "properly".

 

[Southpaw]

That makes my heart hurt.

 

[Miakoda]

You can get an abortion for $300 here. I wouldn't call that expensive at all.

As for this girl, she better make 100% sure she's not still pregnant. When I worked at the hospital while in college, I worked with babies who were born to drug and alcohol addicted mothers. Let me tell you...I had never wanted to harm women more than I did at that point in my life. Listening to a crack-addicted baby (and methadone is a horrid one as well...as it's freaking the government's legal version of heroin) cry and scream and twitch and try to escape the agone it's in....it's torture. And children born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome are a story unto themselves. It's a sad, sad life from the outside looking in.

 

[sillysally]

You can get an abortion for $300 here. I wouldn't call that expensive at all.

As for this girl, she better make 100% sure she's not still pregnant. When I worked at the hospital while in college, I worked with babies who were born to drug and alcohol addicted mothers. Let me tell you...I had never wanted to harm women more than I did at that point in my life. Listening to a crack-addicted baby (and methadone is a horrid one as well...as it's freaking the government's legal version of heroin) cry and scream and twitch and try to escape the agone it's in....it's torture. And children born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome are a story unto themselves. It's a sad, sad life from the outside looking in.

I was thinking that too...

 

[sparks19]

You can get an abortion for $300 here. I wouldn't call that expensive at all.

As for this girl, she better make 100% sure she's not still pregnant. When I worked at the hospital while in college, I worked with babies who were born to drug and alcohol addicted mothers. Let me tell you...I had never wanted to harm women more than I did at that point in my life. Listening to a crack-addicted baby (and methadone is a horrid one as well...as it's freaking the government's legal version of heroin) cry and scream and twitch and try to escape the agone it's in....it's torture. And children born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome are a story unto themselves. It's a sad, sad life from the outside looking in.

This

We have a young man at our church who was born with FAS. he's a very nice young man but man is he a target for being taken advantage of and he has a horrid home life

All things considered he does very well and has a heart of gold and his case isn't nearly as severe as many others born with FAS but still heart breaking none the less

What hits me possibly even more than the complete irresponsible-ness of the way she went about it is the fact that she's just like "Oh the baby? Oh yeah I killed it off with drugs and alcohol and stuff haha. So I got some new shoes and they are so cute" (paraphrasing of course) The total lack of give a sh!t is frightening to me.

 

[JacksonsMom]

Ugh, that makes me sooooo sad. So incredibly sad.

 

[Lyzelle]

The lack of giving a **** is actually pretty common in this generation. Parents have taught their kids to distance themselves from things like sex, death, conflict, etc...and then the kid has no idea how to mentally deal with things as they get older, so the idea applies to all aspects of life and the kid gets a bit crazy. Drugs, alcohol, sex, lack of respect, so on so forth. I see it all the time with my age group, and that is only a few years older than this girl. Not ALL kids are like this, but more than you would think. Lack of importance on everything. No goals in life. No ability to prioritize emotions or decisions. Shoes really are no different than getting pregnant. It happens. You deal with it. No biggie.

This is why Sex Ed should actually be educational, in all aspects. From sex itself to the result and how to deal with it in a mature fashion. But our society would prefer to taboo everything, not talk about it, not educate, stress "abstinence" and "pro-life"(aka, no reason to teach anything) and this is the result.

 

[JessLough]

You can get an abortion for $300 here. I wouldn't call that expensive at all.

As for this girl, she better make 100% sure she's not still pregnant. When I worked at the hospital while in college, I worked with babies who were born to drug and alcohol addicted mothers. Let me tell you...I had never wanted to harm women more than I did at that point in my life. Listening to a crack-addicted baby (and methadone is a horrid one as well...as it's freaking the government's legal version of heroin) cry and scream and twitch and try to escape the agone it's in....it's torture. And children born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome are a story unto themselves. It's a sad, sad life from the outside looking in.

This.

 

[yoko]

You can get an abortion for $300 here. I wouldn't call that expensive at all.

As for this girl, she better make 100% sure she's not still pregnant. When I worked at the hospital while in college, I worked with babies who were born to drug and alcohol addicted mothers. Let me tell you...I had never wanted to harm women more than I did at that point in my life. Listening to a crack-addicted baby (and methadone is a horrid one as well...as it's freaking the government's legal version of heroin) cry and scream and twitch and try to escape the agone it's in....it's torture. And children born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome are a story unto themselves. It's a sad, sad life from the outside looking in.

I agree it's not that expensive but that would probably also depend on the parents. If they didn't want to support their daughter and the daughter had to come up with that it may not have been possible.

I know at 16 I was in high school and my parents wouldn't let me get a job. If you had told me I had to come up with $300 you might as well had said $1 mil. I also didn't start driving right at 16. So going back to a high school state of mind instead of an adult thinking rationally I don't think I would have been able to get there or pay for it if my parents weren't willing to help me.

I think that her attitude is horrible but I've seen it so much when it comes to important life decisions with the younger generation it doesn't really shock me any more.

 

[Kimbers]

The lack of giving a **** is actually pretty common in this generation. Parents have taught their kids to distance themselves from things like sex, death, conflict, etc...and then the kid has no idea how to mentally deal with things as they get older, so the idea applies to all aspects of life and the kid gets a bit crazy. Drugs, alcohol, sex, lack of respect, so on so forth. I see it all the time with my age group, and that is only a few years older than this girl. Not ALL kids are like this, but more than you would think. Lack of importance on everything. No goals in life. No ability to prioritize emotions or decisions. Shoes really are no different than getting pregnant. It happens. You deal with it. No biggie.

This is why Sex Ed should actually be educational, in all aspects. From sex itself to the result and how to deal with it in a mature fashion. But our society would prefer to taboo everything, not talk about it, not educate, stress "abstinence" and "pro-life"(aka, no reason to teach anything) and this is the result.

This.
So much.

Looking back, the only sex ed I had (other than from my mom) was pretty much "when you get your period, stick a tampon in your vagina! BTdubs, that's the thing between your legs that's used for sex. BUT YOU SHOULD NEVER USE IT FOR SEX!" That was when I was fourteen.
The high school I'm at now has a conveniently located planned parenthood right across the street, though. lol

 

[~Dixie's_Mom~]

That's horrifying.... I agree she needs to make sure she isn't still pregnant.

 

[iwantmypup]

I really wish she went to a doctor too. Her family is upper middle class, I am sure they'd have enough money, but if she wants to keep this from her mom, I don't think she could just ask for 300 randomly. /:
I didn't even think about how she could still be pregnant. Ugh, this is a horrible situation.

 

[PWCorgi]

I went to high school with a girl who tried to solve her pregnancy with alcohol and drugs. Yeah, she just went into labor super early. All I have to say is that the people who adopted that baby are saints.