Training or Abuse?

Imamomma18

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#1
Hello all. My boyfriend and I adopted a large breed puppy last month. I have never had a puppy before as my mom refused to allow us to have dogs growing up, so I knew nothing about training a dog. My boyfriend assured me he had experience with puppies and he knew what to do. Immediately, I noticed he was very mean with the puppy. He constantly yelled at her and would scream, "no" for what I felt was the smallest of things. He rarely loved on the puppy and said he had to establish his dominance so she would listen to him, before loving on her and being nice. The puppy never listened to him and he became increasingly mean with her. He would slap/hit her on the nose for not doing what he thought she should (ie lying on her bed at all times, not getting off her bed, following him down the hall, running ahead of him to the back door, chewing on our fingers/not hard). He would jerk on her leash so hard that her front paws would be lifted off the ground. He constantly screamed at the puppy and very rarely praised her. Initially he used training treats, but he stopped using them as his temper because worse with her. The puppy began having severe anxiety and would poop all over her crate if we left the house for any amount of time, which angered him even more. They would be in a different room, and I would hear him yell at her and then the puppy would start yelping. I asked him what happened and he said he was just trying to make her stay on her bed. He constantly had her on her leash and would only allow her to go maybe three feet away from him at all times, because he was trying to get her to learn to stay by him. A few days ago I again heard the puppy yelping, and walked in to see him slamming the puppy to the floor and holding her by the scruff of her neck. A few minutes later he took her outside and I saw him kick her in the backside to get her to walk.
After this happened I sat him down and told him this was not okay and I would not allow him to treat an animal this way. He defended himself and said this was dog training and that you had to be stern so the puppy learned who was boss. I encouraged him to use a clicker and go back to the treats, but he refused and said the dog was too stubborn. I suggested dog training classes, but he refused those as well. He said he knew what he was doing and I had no idea because I've never raised a puppy. Needless to say, I found a new home for the puppy that afternoon, and she is no longer living with us. However, my question is, is this normal? Do you have to be this mean to train a puppy? I'm not stupid, and I will never allow this man to own a puppy again as long as I am with him, but he made me feel like I was totally wrong and this was the right way. It just seemed very mean to me and I would love any insight.
 

emc

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#2
The puppy should not have been treated this way and you were right in finding it a new home. Dog training requires being firm and consistent but not screaming and slapping a puppy around. First and foremost training requires patience and making a puppy feel secure in its surroundings .
 

TheDeena

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#3
You should of kicked your boyfriend out and kept the puppy. He is mean, and abusive and that will never change. Nothing he did was normal or appropriate.
 

Shaggy

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#4
Hello all. My boyfriend and I adopted a large breed puppy last month. I have never had a puppy before as my mom refused to allow us to have dogs growing up, so I knew nothing about training a dog. My boyfriend assured me he had experience with puppies and he knew what to do. Immediately, I noticed he was very mean with the puppy. He constantly yelled at her and would scream, "no" for what I felt was the smallest of things. He rarely loved on the puppy and said he had to establish his dominance so she would listen to him, before loving on her and being nice. The puppy never listened to him and he became increasingly mean with her. He would slap/hit her on the nose for not doing what he thought she should (ie lying on her bed at all times, not getting off her bed, following him down the hall, running ahead of him to the back door, chewing on our fingers/not hard). He would jerk on her leash so hard that her front paws would be lifted off the ground. He constantly screamed at the puppy and very rarely praised her. Initially he used training treats, but he stopped using them as his temper because worse with her. The puppy began having severe anxiety and would poop all over her crate if we left the house for any amount of time, which angered him even more. They would be in a different room, and I would hear him yell at her and then the puppy would start yelping. I asked him what happened and he said he was just trying to make her stay on her bed. He constantly had her on her leash and would only allow her to go maybe three feet away from him at all times, because he was trying to get her to learn to stay by him. A few days ago I again heard the puppy yelping, and walked in to see him slamming the puppy to the floor and holding her by the scruff of her neck. A few minutes later he took her outside and I saw him kick her in the backside to get her to walk.
After this happened I sat him down and told him this was not okay and I would not allow him to treat an animal this way. He defended himself and said this was dog training and that you had to be stern so the puppy learned who was boss. I encouraged him to use a clicker and go back to the treats, but he refused and said the dog was too stubborn. I suggested dog training classes, but he refused those as well. He said he knew what he was doing and I had no idea because I've never raised a puppy. Needless to say, I found a new home for the puppy that afternoon, and she is no longer living with us. However, my question is, is this normal? Do you have to be this mean to train a puppy? I'm not stupid, and I will never allow this man to own a puppy again as long as I am with him, but he made me feel like I was totally wrong and this was the right way. It just seemed very mean to me and I would love any insight.
Your boyfriend has some issues. You don't need to be that stern with your puppy. Only time I would ever touch my puppy was a spanking on the backside when the did their business inside the house. Never yield, kicked, or slapped them on the nose. Was loving and caring and they still listened to me.

Again, your boyfriend doesn't know how to take care of a dog. This also could be a indication how they would treat your kids if you 2 ever had one. Just a heads up.
 

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