Thinking of giving away my puppy
- Thread starter deeleigh
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Unfortunately I work about half hour away from home (live in Brooklyn, work in NYC) so I wouldn't have the time to come home. Everyone I know works during the day too. Unfortunately she's too young still to be walked in the city but perhaps I could get a dog walker to come play with her? Do they do that type of thing? If the breeder won't take her back and I have to find her a home on my own, while I'm searching I could probably afford to put her in doggie day care.
I just want to say that, in part, what you are feeling is totally normal. I'm guessing from your post that this is your first puppy. My husband and I adopted our first puppy about a month and a half ago. The first week that we had her was hard. She acted strange toward us (because she didn't know us) and I literally was sick in my stomach for probably the first two weeks worrying about whether we had done the right thing. Bringing home a puppy is a big adjustment, and I think you should give it a little more time and have a little more confidence in yourself. You may need to get a dog walker, or maybe get her in to a doggie day care program a couple days a week. But more than the energy and behavior problems, I think you feel this way because you are unsure of yourself and you are still adjusting to the idea of having the puppy.
Before we got Kovi I was a totally different person. I wanted a dog so badly, but was still scared to death because I realized I would have to make some changes. Trust me though, you'll find that the changes you make are ones for the better.
Before we got Kovi I was a totally different person. I wanted a dog so badly, but was still scared to death because I realized I would have to make some changes. Trust me though, you'll find that the changes you make are ones for the better.
My dogwalker is very accomodative and she's great. Depending on the size of the business, a dogwalker may be able to come in and play with your puppy.
I will say that I live alone and recently rescued two dogs. It can be absolutely overwhelming at times. I don't think some people realize how much responsibility comes with owning a dog. It's alot of work.
I put in long work days, live in the city...sounds very similar to your situation. I can relate.
If you really love this dog, I would do some research on dogwalkers and doggie day care. Try posting something on craig's list. Perhaps there's even a dog-loving college student in the area who would come in and play with your dog for an hour or two per day.
I will say that I live alone and recently rescued two dogs. It can be absolutely overwhelming at times. I don't think some people realize how much responsibility comes with owning a dog. It's alot of work.
I put in long work days, live in the city...sounds very similar to your situation. I can relate.
If you really love this dog, I would do some research on dogwalkers and doggie day care. Try posting something on craig's list. Perhaps there's even a dog-loving college student in the area who would come in and play with your dog for an hour or two per day.
I don't want to imagine the price of those in NYC 
I was just saying that everyone can't afford them is all.
And I totally agree with Kelly, it was very hard for us at first too. I was also worried sick because Boris was a crazy puppy, and I didn't quite expect that it would change our lives so much. So I think it's a normal reaction, however it's good to keep in mind that housetraining a puppy in those conditions is going to be really hard (I'm not talking about pad training, as I don't think it's a good solution personally as the dogs learn to pee inside, that and lots of puppies would just destroy them).
I was just saying that everyone can't afford them is all.And I totally agree with Kelly, it was very hard for us at first too. I was also worried sick because Boris was a crazy puppy, and I didn't quite expect that it would change our lives so much. So I think it's a normal reaction, however it's good to keep in mind that housetraining a puppy in those conditions is going to be really hard (I'm not talking about pad training, as I don't think it's a good solution personally as the dogs learn to pee inside, that and lots of puppies would just destroy them).
Just one more thing . . . have you considered litter training as opposed to pad training? My boss's wife has done this with great success and has their 10 month old poodle completely trained that way. I think the benefit is that the dog doesn't see the floor as a spot to empty and relizes that there are specific "emptying areas".
I still think it would be beneficial for the dog to have someone come in during the day, even just to play . . . . lots of kids will be looking for summer jobs . . . maybe a kid in your apartment building??
I still think it would be beneficial for the dog to have someone come in during the day, even just to play . . . . lots of kids will be looking for summer jobs . . . maybe a kid in your apartment building??
10 hours a day alone is kind of hard on a dog, let alone a puppy. I'm not a fan of the opinion that a dog spending more than 4 hours alone each day is cruel - it's basically saying single working people shouldn't have dogs. Guess women have wait until they can become housemommies, and men have to wait until retirement. But getting a puppy may have been a mistake. When you buy a puppy, you have about 2 years of your pet being super energetic, super active and super present (ie, plastered to your face the minute you come in the door each night) I don't want to push you either way, I'm sure you'll come up with the solution yourself. But if you're in the market for a dog again, consider an adult. Breeders sometimes have grown dogs needing homes, and of course, there're always the shelters and rescues.
Especially with small breeds, which have longer lifespans than larger breeds, this may be a bargain - a grown dog, if chosen carefully to eliminate problems like aggression or illness, fits more easily into your life than a puppy, and is far less demanding.
Especially with small breeds, which have longer lifespans than larger breeds, this may be a bargain - a grown dog, if chosen carefully to eliminate problems like aggression or illness, fits more easily into your life than a puppy, and is far less demanding.
Thank you all for the input. This is the hardest decision to make. It's really good to know other people were just as concerned and stressed out in the beginning with their puppies. I contacted the breeder and I'm going to wait and see what she says. I think for right now, a puppy might not be the best fit into my lifestyle, especially a puppy of such high energy (which sounds like a normal puppy based on what everyone says here). I think she'd be so much happier with a family or at least in a household with more than one dog.
And you're right Fran27, she was starting to destroy the puppy pads, which is going to be a huge problem. Perhaps a litter box would be better in the meanwhile, thanks for that idea Kelly.
And you're right Fran27, she was starting to destroy the puppy pads, which is going to be a huge problem. Perhaps a litter box would be better in the meanwhile, thanks for that idea Kelly.
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If the breeder is able to find this puppy a good home, that would probably be the best things right now.
If you really want a dog, maybe you could consider getting a rescue that is older and not as active anymore. Also maybe you could plan to get the dog during a vacation time so you have some time to bond with the dog.
It can be overwhelming when you first get a puppy, however, the puppy is probably not going to get trained, socialized, bonded correctly with you out for so long and may never end up being the dog you want. Although puppies are fun, it can be just as rewarding to rescue an older dog and the activity level would probably suit you much better.
You could also consider getting a cat. Cats are great apartment pets and more independent.
Good Luck
Elissa
If you really want a dog, maybe you could consider getting a rescue that is older and not as active anymore. Also maybe you could plan to get the dog during a vacation time so you have some time to bond with the dog.
It can be overwhelming when you first get a puppy, however, the puppy is probably not going to get trained, socialized, bonded correctly with you out for so long and may never end up being the dog you want. Although puppies are fun, it can be just as rewarding to rescue an older dog and the activity level would probably suit you much better.
You could also consider getting a cat. Cats are great apartment pets and more independent.
Good Luck
Elissa
So, to update, the breeder won't give me a refund or take her back, but she will list her again and give them my contact info. Basically I'd be selling her. I'm not sure how I feel about this, as I'd then be responsible if the future owners are unhappy. I think I'd be better off giving her up for adoption to a happy family that knows the situation. I think the breeder would take her back for free, if I didn't ask for any of my money back, but I'm not sure. I paid a lot for her, plus 200 for her vet and flea and heartworm medicine, plus all the supplies.
I know what's most important is her getting a happy home, I'm just really upset the breeder won't take more responsability. Serves me right for not investigating her more I guess.
I know what's most important is her getting a happy home, I'm just really upset the breeder won't take more responsability. Serves me right for not investigating her more I guess.
What a shame. Yeah.....that screams back yard breeder all the way. I don't think responsible breeders give you back your money, but they always, always take the dog back. In fact, they often state in a contract first right of refusal, should you not be able or want to keep your dog. So, this woman doesn't care about her dogs.
You're better off using word of mouth to try and find her a good home. Really be careful who you choose for her. A purebred rescue might be a good place too. Good luck. I know you feel awful, and I guess you learned a hard lesson. But hard lessons are often the ones which stick. So, I'm sure you'll look into something like this more thoroughly next time. Puppies are adorable but they are animals and it takes time to teach them to live with humans. And more than time, it takes some education on how to deal with and teach them. Best luck to you.
You're better off using word of mouth to try and find her a good home. Really be careful who you choose for her. A purebred rescue might be a good place too. Good luck. I know you feel awful, and I guess you learned a hard lesson. But hard lessons are often the ones which stick. So, I'm sure you'll look into something like this more thoroughly next time. Puppies are adorable but they are animals and it takes time to teach them to live with humans. And more than time, it takes some education on how to deal with and teach them. Best luck to you.
10 hours a day alone is a bit long for a puppy.
i always thought pekinese are great apartment dogs though, not too active, dont need a lot of exercise.
i got a maltese and live in an apartment right now and he does fine. he adjusted nicely to the times when i can play with him and times when i dont got time he just takes a nap now.
and even though i could be with him all day for the first months i know how overwhelming it can be!
being responsable for such a little creature, getting them potty trained, trained in generell.... the first year really is a challange and specially the first month IMO.
dont feel bad for being overwhelmed. at least you try to do the best for the little one.
in case you decide to keep the puppy you might wanna try the wizdog instead of puppy pads, its impossible to shred that http://www.wizdog.com/index.php
maybe you can take 2 weeks off for the begining too? that would already help a lot to get her pad trained and bond to you.
i know a dogwalker can be expensive but maybe you could place an add. i bet highschool students would love to make a bit extra money, playing with a puppy for an hour everyday, its for sure cheaper then a professionell......
if you really think you cant provide her what she needs then the earlier she gets into a new home the better. she is still so young and wont have any problems adjusting to a new home.
i always thought pekinese are great apartment dogs though, not too active, dont need a lot of exercise.
i got a maltese and live in an apartment right now and he does fine. he adjusted nicely to the times when i can play with him and times when i dont got time he just takes a nap now.
and even though i could be with him all day for the first months i know how overwhelming it can be!
being responsable for such a little creature, getting them potty trained, trained in generell.... the first year really is a challange and specially the first month IMO.
dont feel bad for being overwhelmed. at least you try to do the best for the little one.
in case you decide to keep the puppy you might wanna try the wizdog instead of puppy pads, its impossible to shred that http://www.wizdog.com/index.php
maybe you can take 2 weeks off for the begining too? that would already help a lot to get her pad trained and bond to you.
i know a dogwalker can be expensive but maybe you could place an add. i bet highschool students would love to make a bit extra money, playing with a puppy for an hour everyday, its for sure cheaper then a professionell......
if you really think you cant provide her what she needs then the earlier she gets into a new home the better. she is still so young and wont have any problems adjusting to a new home.
Well, kudos for recognizing that you can not offer this puppy what it needs to develop into a loving, socialized, good canine citizen and putting that before your own feelings of love for the pup, and trying to correct the mistake of getting a puppy in present lifestyle in the first place.
Yes, I agree the breeder doesn't sound very reputable. However if you're considering giving her up for adoption, I don't understand the difference between that and giving her back to the breeder even though she won't return your money? OTOH as I said, doesn't sound like a reputable breeder in the first place, so you'd probably be better selling her to a pre screened home. You'll find lots of information on this forum on how to do that, careful screening is very important, and also important is not to offer her for free, and you'll find info here on just why that is! You mention you're worried about giving her to a good home then being responsible afterwards if it doesn't work out. Maybe you can make it a condition that you would be included in the screening process again since you'll have experience with that by then, if another new home new home should arise in the future?
Yes, I agree the breeder doesn't sound very reputable. However if you're considering giving her up for adoption, I don't understand the difference between that and giving her back to the breeder even though she won't return your money? OTOH as I said, doesn't sound like a reputable breeder in the first place, so you'd probably be better selling her to a pre screened home. You'll find lots of information on this forum on how to do that, careful screening is very important, and also important is not to offer her for free, and you'll find info here on just why that is! You mention you're worried about giving her to a good home then being responsible afterwards if it doesn't work out. Maybe you can make it a condition that you would be included in the screening process again since you'll have experience with that by then, if another new home new home should arise in the future?
You had her for one week? I think (I'm not a breeder, so this may be naive) that it is ridiculous for a breeder to not reimburse at least part of the purchase price and take the puppy back after such a short time and when the puppy is being returned for good reasons (ie, incompatible lifestyles) that the breeder probably should have caught before taking your money in the first place.
At this age and with this breed, you could probably sell the puppy for close to what you paid for her - of course, you'd still have to screen the would-be buyers, but she's still a highly desirable breed, size and age. Call it adoption or sale, it's the same thing - the puppy's changing hands. I would NOT give her back to the breeder - she'll simply resell her, and make double the profit at your (and the puppy's) expense.
If you're looking to find the pup a new home, one suggestion I've always seen is to ask your vet for a reccomendation. Depending on what you want to do - find a good rescue/shelter or skip the middleman and find the puppy a new home yourself - you can get a good idea of which are the reputable shelters and rescue people in your area, and even maybe a lead on someone looking for a puppy like yours. At the very least, you might get some help on how to screen prospective adopters.
Good luck.
At this age and with this breed, you could probably sell the puppy for close to what you paid for her - of course, you'd still have to screen the would-be buyers, but she's still a highly desirable breed, size and age. Call it adoption or sale, it's the same thing - the puppy's changing hands. I would NOT give her back to the breeder - she'll simply resell her, and make double the profit at your (and the puppy's) expense.
If you're looking to find the pup a new home, one suggestion I've always seen is to ask your vet for a reccomendation. Depending on what you want to do - find a good rescue/shelter or skip the middleman and find the puppy a new home yourself - you can get a good idea of which are the reputable shelters and rescue people in your area, and even maybe a lead on someone looking for a puppy like yours. At the very least, you might get some help on how to screen prospective adopters.
Good luck.
You guys are all right, and I agree giving her up for adoption or back to the breeder for no refund would be the same, I just wasn't sure the breeder would take her and found out she can't. She just purchased a new dog she thinks is too agressive to be around such a tiny puppy. I also don't particularly trust her anymore.
I've posted an ad on the website I bought her from and hopefully a good family will come along to take her. I would love to be able to keep her and train her properly I just don't think it's possible. It breaks my heart because she is a sweet little thing and just wants love.
I'll check around this forum on the proper way to screen for potential buyers, thanks you guys for all this.
I've posted an ad on the website I bought her from and hopefully a good family will come along to take her. I would love to be able to keep her and train her properly I just don't think it's possible. It breaks my heart because she is a sweet little thing and just wants love.
I'll check around this forum on the proper way to screen for potential buyers, thanks you guys for all this.
I'd be careful posting her on the internet for adoption, you can just never be sure if the people who answer the ad are what they say.
I think your best bet would be to contact your veternarian. They know their clients, alot of times someone has lost a pet and ask their vet for help in finding one. This way you could be really sure that the puppy is getting a good home.
Sorry but the breeder is totally irresponsible, while some do not give refunds, a responsible breeder will ALWAYS take their dogs back, and gosh this one you've only had for a week????? She'd probably turn around and sell it again, and make double the money..I would not give this puppy back to the breeder.
Call your vet,,I'll bet they could find a good home pronto..
Good for you for doing the best for the puppy
diane
I think your best bet would be to contact your veternarian. They know their clients, alot of times someone has lost a pet and ask their vet for help in finding one. This way you could be really sure that the puppy is getting a good home.
Sorry but the breeder is totally irresponsible, while some do not give refunds, a responsible breeder will ALWAYS take their dogs back, and gosh this one you've only had for a week????? She'd probably turn around and sell it again, and make double the money..I would not give this puppy back to the breeder.
Call your vet,,I'll bet they could find a good home pronto..
Good for you for doing the best for the puppy
diane