The Venting Thread

Grab

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A petty vent, but I have been trying to get a statement from our old daycare for what we paid for Clive for the first half of last year, so I can finish my taxes. I FB messaged and was told I could call or pick up a copy. I called a week or so later, nothing was ready, so she said she'd leave a note for them for today. I called to day at lunch to say I'd be by at 4:30 to pick it up, was told that was fine. I go by at that time, nothing was ready nor was any person with any sort of authority there to get me a copy. So they left ANOTHER note.

My god. These are things that should have already been printed out, much less when someone has contacted you three times. Compare this to our current daycare, who had it ready for me the same day I asked.
 

HayleyMarie

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Unemployed. At kind of the most obnoxious point to be unemployed.
Hugs that is really shitty. Hopefully things pick up for you :)


My rant is that I am having pretty bad TMJ issues and its not because of grinding my teeth, its because of my back molars that the orthodontists did not properly fix, so I don't have a proper bite. And my jaw is compensating. So its causing me severe jaw pain AND its not an easy fix. I will be getting a mouth guard made to help at night, but I might have to get my back molars shaved down and she also might want to try botox to try and help relieve the pain. *cries*

Thank goodness we have a good dental plan.
 

Beanie

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So despite complaining that our tax withholdings weren't right, stuff wasn't fixed, and right now it looks like I owe AGAIN this year. Again, to the tune of almost an entire paycheck.

F***. I don't know about most people but I don't have a whole paycheck to just set on fire.


I need a new job so badly.
 

PlottMom

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Liz was doing so so so so well.

Then I went to pick her up from the school clinic, where I had boarded her while I was in class, and she had what appeared to be some sort of focal seizure.

I haven't even gotten the histopath report back yet.

FML.
 

crazedACD

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Liz was doing so so so so well.

Then I went to pick her up from the school clinic, where I had boarded her while I was in class, and she had what appeared to be some sort of focal seizure.

I haven't even gotten the histopath report back yet.

FML.
**** :(. Maybe it was it was just the stress from the surgery, and then being boarded and whatnot. Just wait for the results and take it easy until then. :) Hang in there!
 

*blackrose

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Can you guys keep Michael in your thoughts? I had suspected he wasn't doing well mentally from the few brief Skype conversations we had, but I was hoping if I did my best to keep conversations positive and supportive he'd feel better about things after having some time to get settled (it's only been 4 weeks, after all). Monday he text me and said he is indeed NOT doing well. :( Said he was severely depressed and had lost all of his drive. Today he told me he's submitted a request with a corpsman for a mental health/morale evaluation.

He had issues during A-school, too, and he does not need to sink that low again. It isn't the seperation alone that's the issue (although that is a factor), its being constantly stressed, being denied his normal stress releases (gaming, video editing, crafting), being stagnant in his career (no chance of promotion/change), and feeling like he's once again just waiting to move on with life instead of actually living life.

I've been doing what I can to keep him positive, but I know him, I know how his mind works and I know what he needs...and it's going to be hard for him to get back to 100% in his current situation. Which just sucks.

So...thoughts and vibes are appreciated. I just want everything to work out the way it needs to for him.
 

HayleyMarie

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Can you guys keep Michael in your thoughts? I had suspected he wasn't doing well mentally from the few brief Skype conversations we had, but I was hoping if I did my best to keep conversations positive and supportive he'd feel better about things after having some time to get settled (it's only been 4 weeks, after all). Monday he text me and said he is indeed NOT doing well. :( Said he was severely depressed and had lost all of his drive. Today he told me he's submitted a request with a corpsman for a mental health/morale evaluation.

He had issues during A-school, too, and he does not need to sink that low again. It isn't the seperation alone that's the issue (although that is a factor), its being constantly stressed, being denied his normal stress releases (gaming, video editing, crafting), being stagnant in his career (no chance of promotion/change), and feeling like he's once again just waiting to move on with life instead of actually living life.

I've been doing what I can to keep him positive, but I know him, I know how his mind works and I know what he needs...and it's going to be hard for him to get back to 100% in his current situation. Which just sucks.

So...thoughts and vibes are appreciated. I just want everything to work out the way it needs to for him.

(((((HHUUUGGSSS)))))

That has got to be so hard for him and you. I can't even imagine. I will be keeping him in my thoughts and sending positive vibes his way.
 

Ozfozz

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Can you guys keep Michael in your thoughts? I had suspected he wasn't doing well mentally from the few brief Skype conversations we had, but I was hoping if I did my best to keep conversations positive and supportive he'd feel better about things after having some time to get settled (it's only been 4 weeks, after all). Monday he text me and said he is indeed NOT doing well. :( Said he was severely depressed and had lost all of his drive. Today he told me he's submitted a request with a corpsman for a mental health/morale evaluation.

He had issues during A-school, too, and he does not need to sink that low again. It isn't the seperation alone that's the issue (although that is a factor), its being constantly stressed, being denied his normal stress releases (gaming, video editing, crafting), being stagnant in his career (no chance of promotion/change), and feeling like he's once again just waiting to move on with life instead of actually living life.

I've been doing what I can to keep him positive, but I know him, I know how his mind works and I know what he needs...and it's going to be hard for him to get back to 100% in his current situation. Which just sucks.

So...thoughts and vibes are appreciated. I just want everything to work out the way it needs to for him.

Before I read your post I was going to "vent" about Josh, and how this shitty living situation is killing him. How last weekend he couldn't allow himself to have any sort of fun because he was stuck in "she's leaving tomorrow." Usually the depression only hits him after we depart, but it's just been growing with every week he spends alone in that dingy apartment. And it kills me.


While the situations obviously aren't identical, I see a lot of similarities.
It's difficult to deal with, doing everything you can to help, but being so far away there's only so much that can be done....
I'm so sorry that Michael isn't doing well, keeping you both in my thoughts and sending tons of positive vibes.

(((Hugs)))
 

JessLough

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:-( That really sucks. Are you going to be ok? Do you need anything?
Thats just really unfortunate. I'm sorry. *hugs*
Hugs that is really shitty. Hopefully things pick up for you :)
Thanks, guys. It was just a shitty situation -- kinda my choice, mostly forced out.

I have plans to be moving out in town in a few months, so the timing is just REALLY unfortunate. I had hoped to be able to ride it out there until May.

We should be fine, though thanks :) I had just bought a huge bag of food for the ferrets, and I don't have many bills. So long as something comes along we should be fine!
 

Ozfozz

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Thanks, guys. It was just a shitty situation -- kinda my choice, mostly forced out.

I have plans to be moving out in town in a few months, so the timing is just REALLY unfortunate. I had hoped to be able to ride it out there until May.

We should be fine, though thanks :) I had just bought a huge bag of food for the ferrets, and I don't have many bills. So long as something comes along we should be fine!

If you're moving out this way, lemme know when the time comes and if there's anything I can do to help!
 

noludoru

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My boss is being a total asshat to me. The person in my position previously did no work for the last six months she was there and absolutely hated him, so she filed things in the wrong places, didn't submit over a million in accounts, lied about doing things when she didn't, and tried to mess his business up as much as possible. Probably because he treated her for 6 years the way he's treated me for a month.

He blames me for some of the things missing or wrong and says he handed them to me. (In MARCH? When I was gainfully employed elsewhere? I insist that you didn't.) If we find them in his office, which is a total wreck made entirely of paper skyscrapers and wobbly folder piles, I get blamed because he handed them to me and I must have put them back in his office in the middle of a pile. WELL OKAY THEN. This happens 1-2x a day. He gives me incomplete or incorrect directions and expects me to follow them, yells at me for asking questions and then yells at me if I don't. He gets mad if I do exactly as he told me to do. I have started documenting everything, and when I read back to him word for word what he told me to do (which I did do), he gets even madder and insists that I'm basically lying. He places blame elsewhere for anything he does wrong, going so far as to blame me for things I can document I didn't do or can document that I did correctly.

I talked to my other boss about him a few weeks ago, as did two other employees who observed his behavior towards me. She verbally ripped him a new one. This resulted in weeks of eyerolls and stomping around, even throwing papers off a desk. Twice. I finally asked her to lunch and talked with her about him. She apparently had a come to jesus talk with him (that night, I believe), and he changed his behavior the next day. He's been nothing but polite and supportive and complimentary. ALL I hear now is "good job! You really saved my butt on that one! I like your idea!" etc etc.

I shouldn't even be complaining about this, but a) it's super fake and ridiculous, even if he did really feel that way; and b) I know he'll be back to the status quo soon. This is too sudden and fake to be a real change. He went from eyerolling and yelling at me in a meeting over something he insisted I didn't bring (I had it in my hand while he was saying this), another thing he insisted I shouldn't come to meetings without reading (it hadn't been sent to my inbox this morning, or to his), and blaming me for losing a client's paperwork that she sent in before I was employed there to THIS in a day.

I'm grateful I have a job, but they KNOW they're underpaying me for the level of performance and hard work I'm putting in. I could be paid $3-5 more an hour in this industry and lots more bar-tending. I'm perfect for this job in both natural inclinations and skill set, and I'm so good at it I'm putting their office back together after a year of bad help or no help. My meeting with my female boss was basically her going "OMG WE CAN'T LOSE YOU BECAUSE HE'S AN ASSHOLE" deep down inside. Today, after our discussion last week, I had a multiple-hundred-dollar bonus that she more or less told me was for dealing with him.

I just don't know what to do. He's not going to get better, and every single person who worked there previously had the same issues with him. My commute is only going to get worse. She's awesome and I love working for her, but her other half is just awful. I'm not being paid competitively. I don't want to quit, but I don't see this being a long term thing any more. :( I loved it so much when I started, too. . .
 

JazzyTheSibe

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Can you guys keep Michael in your thoughts? I had suspected he wasn't doing well mentally from the few brief Skype conversations we had, but I was hoping if I did my best to keep conversations positive and supportive he'd feel better about things after having some time to get settled (it's only been 4 weeks, after all). Monday he text me and said he is indeed NOT doing well. :( Said he was severely depressed and had lost all of his drive. Today he told me he's submitted a request with a corpsman for a mental health/morale evaluation.

He had issues during A-school, too, and he does not need to sink that low again. It isn't the seperation alone that's the issue (although that is a factor), its being constantly stressed, being denied his normal stress releases (gaming, video editing, crafting), being stagnant in his career (no chance of promotion/change), and feeling like he's once again just waiting to move on with life instead of actually living life.

I've been doing what I can to keep him positive, but I know him, I know how his mind works and I know what he needs...and it's going to be hard for him to get back to 100% in his current situation. Which just sucks.

So...thoughts and vibes are appreciated. I just want everything to work out the way it needs to for him.
Most Definitely!

I'm really sorry you going through this. Same goes for your Husband. I'll be praying for him(you too). Thinking of you,& send good vibes your way

*****HUGS****** Remember, you can PM me anytime.

Thanks, guys. It was just a shitty situation -- kinda my choice, mostly forced out.

I have plans to be moving out in town in a few months, so the timing is just REALLY unfortunate. I had hoped to be able to ride it out there until May.

We should be fine, though thanks :) I had just bought a huge bag of food for the ferrets, and I don't have many bills. So long as something comes along we should be fine!
Well, if you ever need something, don't hesitate to PM here, or on FB.

My boss is being a total asshat to me. The person in my position previously did no work for the last six months she was there and absolutely hated him, so she filed things in the wrong places, didn't submit over a million in accounts, lied about doing things when she didn't, and tried to mess his business up as much as possible. Probably because he treated her for 6 years the way he's treated me for a month.

He blames me for some of the things missing or wrong and says he handed them to me. (In MARCH? When I was gainfully employed elsewhere? I insist that you didn't.) If we find them in his office, which is a total wreck made entirely of paper skyscrapers and wobbly folder piles, I get blamed because he handed them to me and I must have put them back in his office in the middle of a pile. WELL OKAY THEN. This happens 1-2x a day. He gives me incomplete or incorrect directions and expects me to follow them, yells at me for asking questions and then yells at me if I don't. He gets mad if I do exactly as he told me to do. I have started documenting everything, and when I read back to him word for word what he told me to do (which I did do), he gets even madder and insists that I'm basically lying. He places blame elsewhere for anything he does wrong, going so far as to blame me for things I can document I didn't do or can document that I did correctly.

I talked to my other boss about him a few weeks ago, as did two other employees who observed his behavior towards me. She verbally ripped him a new one. This resulted in weeks of eyerolls and stomping around, even throwing papers off a desk. Twice. I finally asked her to lunch and talked with her about him. She apparently had a come to jesus talk with him (that night, I believe), and he changed his behavior the next day. He's been nothing but polite and supportive and complimentary. ALL I hear now is "good job! You really saved my butt on that one! I like your idea!" etc etc.

I shouldn't even be complaining about this, but a) it's super fake and ridiculous, even if he did really feel that way; and b) I know he'll be back to the status quo soon. This is too sudden and fake to be a real change. He went from eyerolling and yelling at me in a meeting over something he insisted I didn't bring (I had it in my hand while he was saying this), another thing he insisted I shouldn't come to meetings without reading (it hadn't been sent to my inbox this morning, or to his), and blaming me for losing a client's paperwork that she sent in before I was employed there to THIS in a day.

I'm grateful I have a job, but they KNOW they're underpaying me for the level of performance and hard work I'm putting in. I could be paid $3-5 more an hour in this industry and lots more bar-tending. I'm perfect for this job in both natural inclinations and skill set, and I'm so good at it I'm putting their office back together after a year of bad help or no help. My meeting with my female boss was basically her going "OMG WE CAN'T LOSE YOU BECAUSE HE'S AN ASSHOLE" deep down inside. Today, after our discussion last week, I had a multiple-hundred-dollar bonus that she more or less told me was for dealing with him.

I just don't know what to do. He's not going to get better, and every single person who worked there previously had the same issues with him. My commute is only going to get worse. She's awesome and I love working for her, but her other half is just awful. I'm not being paid competitively. I don't want to quit, but I don't see this being a long term thing any more. :( I loved it so much when I started, too. . .
I agree with Beanie, I'd start looking for another job. In the end, I'm sure it'll be worth it [which you probably already know. ]

Sending job vibes your way. Hoping things will start to turn out for you. :)
 

Locke

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I just don't know what to do. He's not going to get better, and every single person who worked there previously had the same issues with him. My commute is only going to get worse. She's awesome and I love working for her, but her other half is just awful. I'm not being paid competitively. I don't want to quit, but I don't see this being a long term thing any more. :( I loved it so much when I started, too. . .
If they paid you more would you be more willing to stay?

Since they realize they would be screwed without you, use it as a bargaining chip. Your other boss seems pretty cool and understanding. I would wait until your dumb boss drops his fake act, and ask for another meeting with the cool boss and just say you want more money or you're gone.
 

Airn

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Depression is just kicking my ass again. I have so many people on my side this time around but the fact that I have no income right now is not helping. Just hoping I can get a call back this week and not have to forfeit my leave of absence. Ugh.
 
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Can you guys keep Michael in your thoughts? I had suspected he wasn't doing well mentally from the few brief Skype conversations we had, but I was hoping if I did my best to keep conversations positive and supportive he'd feel better about things after having some time to get settled (it's only been 4 weeks, after all). Monday he text me and said he is indeed NOT doing well. :( Said he was severely depressed and had lost all of his drive. Today he told me he's submitted a request with a corpsman for a mental health/morale evaluation.

He had issues during A-school, too, and he does not need to sink that low again. It isn't the seperation alone that's the issue (although that is a factor), its being constantly stressed, being denied his normal stress releases (gaming, video editing, crafting), being stagnant in his career (no chance of promotion/change), and feeling like he's once again just waiting to move on with life instead of actually living life.

I've been doing what I can to keep him positive, but I know him, I know how his mind works and I know what he needs...and it's going to be hard for him to get back to 100% in his current situation. Which just sucks.

So...thoughts and vibes are appreciated. I just want everything to work out the way it needs to for him.
(((((HUGS))))) It is so scary when you see your loved one not doing well in a situation like this and as much as you try, you feel so helpless. I am glad that he realizes this and it seeking help. Could he also talk to the chaplain out there frequently?

Is he stationed somewhere where he could maybe have a cheap older gaming console? I know when Dan was deployed (and he was not at a nice big base), him and some of his friends had an Xbox and cheap TV shipped out there and they would game together. It won't be an awesome set-up, but at least it'll be something. Or maybe a used 3DS?

Let me know if you ever feel like talking or venting- I always felt like the focus should be on Dan because he was the one away from home and in a combat zone, not me, but it's definitely hard staying back home.
 

*blackrose

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Thanks, everyone, for their thoughts. It is just so weird being the chipper one this time around. When he was away for training last year (although not a deployment, his total time away was 7 months, so it sure did feel like one) I did have some mild depression issues when trying to cope with everything, but this time around I've been fine. I've missed him, yes, because who wouldn't miss their spouse, but I'm not tore up about it like I was last time. I just focus on a week at a time and the weeks are going by quickly-ish-kind-of-slow-but-fast. I don't think either one of us anticipated that he would have the issues he's having now. When he first got out there he told me that it wasn't as bad as A-School and it was more comfortable than FTX and I don't really know where the tipping point was for him.

(((((HUGS))))) It is so scary when you see your loved one not doing well in a situation like this and as much as you try, you feel so helpless. I am glad that he realizes this and it seeking help. Could he also talk to the chaplain out there frequently?

Is he stationed somewhere where he could maybe have a cheap older gaming console? I know when Dan was deployed (and he was not at a nice big base), him and some of his friends had an Xbox and cheap TV shipped out there and they would game together. It won't be an awesome set-up, but at least it'll be something. Or maybe a used 3DS?

Let me know if you ever feel like talking or venting- I always felt like the focus should be on Dan because he was the one away from home and in a combat zone, not me, but it's definitely hard staying back home.
He does have his laptop with him, but an internet connection is the biggest thing he's lacking right now. It's pretty shoddy when it works at all. Most of the gaming he does is online, so he's been feeling the hit from that. I think he's started to figure out a way to get it to work for him, though, and hopefully that helps.

I'm glad he's seeking help, too. Hopefully it will just be up from here. I'm sure there is a Chaplain out there he can speak with, but I'm unsure if that is something he wants to do at this point. I won't push the issue unless I feel he really needs to. Right now I think he's doing okay. Bad, but not horribly bad, if that makes sense.

What's frustrating me most right now is our lack of meaningful conversation. We can't talk on the phone (international calling rates, anyone? o_O) and due to his lack of reliable internet connection Skyping is difficult. And he hates to text/email, even though I've been doing my best to engage him. We had a similar issue during his training, but we were able to Skype fairly frequently at that time, so it wasn't as big of a deal. I'm hoping the internet issue will soon be fixed and that will give us a better way to talk to one another, but we'll see.
 

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