The Venting Thread
- Thread starter *blackrose
- Start date
Being angry at my boyfriend and having him basically say, "You're right, that's what happened, but no it's not my fault," even though it's something he did (and he knows/said/admitted that it was stupid and he's sorry) and not having anyone to talk to about it is stupid.
Especially when it's something that we'd talked about NOT doing less than six hours prior.
And it was something that's really pretty outside his normal range of stuff to do anyway.
And basically I want to smash things.
Sorry for vaguebooking, lol.
Especially when it's something that we'd talked about NOT doing less than six hours prior.
And it was something that's really pretty outside his normal range of stuff to do anyway.
And basically I want to smash things.
Sorry for vaguebooking, lol.
I agree, that is a pretty shitty thing to say. But perception is reality for pretty much everyone. Most people don't think "disabled" unless they can see something that makes them think that. But i'm to a point in my life where what others think really doesn't matter much to me anymore, so **** 'em 
Myself, I'd rather see lots of well dressed pretty young women walking around with dogs everywhere. I think the world would be a better place.
Myself, I'd rather see lots of well dressed pretty young women walking around with dogs everywhere. I think the world would be a better place.
Well right now I'm sitting at the transit center waiting an hour for the next bus because the driver of the last one thought it was a GREAT idea to stop at Quiktrip for 10 minutes, and so we were late getting in and I missed my connection. This means I won't be home in time to leave to walk to school, so I have to miss class. We'll be in the field tomorrow so I sort of wanted to know what I ought to prepare for ><
My boss was even nice enought to let me off 15 minutes early to catch this bus instead of making me wait for the next one so I could get to class in time.
**** I need a car. Ugh.
My boss was even nice enought to let me off 15 minutes early to catch this bus instead of making me wait for the next one so I could get to class in time.
**** I need a car. Ugh.
FRAN I CANNOT BELIEVE SOMEONE SAID THAT TO YOU.
Someone in a wheelchair yelled at my brother once for being rude and not opening a door for them. Little did they know he had NO USE of his arms at that point and they were actually more able to open the door than he was. He cried and I told them off for assuming just because his disability was less noticable, doesn't mean he doesn't have one.
Someone in a wheelchair yelled at my brother once for being rude and not opening a door for them. Little did they know he had NO USE of his arms at that point and they were actually more able to open the door than he was. He cried and I told them off for assuming just because his disability was less noticable, doesn't mean he doesn't have one.
ARE YOU ****ING KIDDING ME?! He does realize you're PAYING him, he's working FOR YOU, right? Oy. There are plenty of people with hidden disabilities who have service dogs. Most of the time I get asked "Are you training him?" when no, he's working for me now. Technically yes, he's always in training, and a good SD is in training in some form or another their entire life, but he's mine, for my disability. The other day when we were at Walmart I heard someone say "She saw us, she must be training him." Oh yes because every service dog is a guide dog, and every handler is blind.
Going to have to call the police while at the dog park today, I just know it. Football season for the kids is starting and their practice field is right next to the dog park. While they are practicing, stray siblings of the kids doing football wonder into the dog park. They're not supposed to be there without supervision, but they come in anyways. Normally I wouldn't have an issue, but these are not polite kids.
A couple days ago two of them chased Baloo (who does not bring toys and balls back after you throw them) all over the park for 25-30 minutes to take a ball from him even after I asked them to leave him alone. Baloo plays nice with children unless they get pushy with him, and then he will bite. I told them that (and I would have left, but Baloo was in run mode and wouldn't come to me) but they continued to chase him and one boy caught him by the collar and went to snatch the ball, and sure enough, Baloo bit him. Didn't draw any blood, bit scared the boy (who was 11 and knew better) and I had a nice passive-aggressive conversation with his father who didn't have much of a leg to stand on since park rules clearly state no children unsupervised in the dog park....
And then yesterday one of them came up to Chevelle, who is super submissive and gentle and wonderful with even the pushiest of kids, and he hit her in the head and stomped on her tail. WTF. He said he was trying to "scare her so she would run", but all she did was smash herself to the ground and cower because she thought she was in trouble. I almost ripped his head off...no parent in sight...
So I just know that today I am going to have to call the police or park security to get the kids out of the fence of the park. Drives me nuts!
A couple days ago two of them chased Baloo (who does not bring toys and balls back after you throw them) all over the park for 25-30 minutes to take a ball from him even after I asked them to leave him alone. Baloo plays nice with children unless they get pushy with him, and then he will bite. I told them that (and I would have left, but Baloo was in run mode and wouldn't come to me) but they continued to chase him and one boy caught him by the collar and went to snatch the ball, and sure enough, Baloo bit him. Didn't draw any blood, bit scared the boy (who was 11 and knew better) and I had a nice passive-aggressive conversation with his father who didn't have much of a leg to stand on since park rules clearly state no children unsupervised in the dog park....
And then yesterday one of them came up to Chevelle, who is super submissive and gentle and wonderful with even the pushiest of kids, and he hit her in the head and stomped on her tail. WTF. He said he was trying to "scare her so she would run", but all she did was smash herself to the ground and cower because she thought she was in trouble. I almost ripped his head off...no parent in sight...
So I just know that today I am going to have to call the police or park security to get the kids out of the fence of the park. Drives me nuts!
Sorry this is long
My boss and I spoke about Bamm today. She did his evaluation months back when he had bitten my former landlord. Even though he has gotten a bit better around other dogs and people I asked her about medicating him to see if that would help calm him down more so that he can actually learn the behavior side of things more. You could have a steak in your hand and he won't listen or bring his attention back to you if he sees a dog off in the distance. Instead he just hard focuses on that dog. Does this with certain people as well especially kids, runners, people on bikes or skateboards etc. He has gotten MUCH better one on one with newer dogs as long as they aren't out of control and pushy with him, but leashed dogs in a distance still sets him off really bad.
Anyways, I was talking to my boss because I'm trying to work on my next steps with him. I'd like to take a positive reinforcement class that deals specifically with reactive dogs (there are a few in the area) and I figured we might have better luck actually working on the behavior/training part of his reactivity if he is on medication for a while. I've been avoiding the idea of medication for a long while but after talking to another chazzer about it the idea has been on my mind. My boss suggested instead that I consider rehoming him since he isn't a good fit for me unlike the other two. Rehome him? I've had him for like 4-5 years. I know she didn't mean it this way but her saying that made me feel like such a failure with him.
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE him, but I do agree he isn't a good fit for me. He was my first dog out on my own and I didn't quite know what I know now as far as dogs are concerned. I'm better at matching myself with dogs now, but at the time I will admit I wasn't and he isn't a good fit for me. That said, I've had him for a long time. I don't think I could just pass him off to someone else. I'd rather try everything I can to work through it and honestly... It's dog reactivity... There are worse things in life and I have managed him this long so I don't see rehoming him as an option at all right now.
I do have a trainer at my work (who is actually really good with aggressive and/or reactive dogs from what I've seen) who has been working with him a little bit since I'm boarding him for a week or two since we are staying at my inlaws temporarily and they have a tiny uncrated dog. Bamm is apparently doing really well with this trainer. He has been able to walk past dogs as close as 5 feet away with little to no reaction. This seriously makes me wonder if the real problem is me in part. I wonder if my anxiety is feeding him in some way. Maybe I'm not aware that I'm nervous with him around other dogs on walks because in my mind I expect him to react and therefore tighten the leash?
He hasn't actually introduced Bamm to any dogs yet but apparently he is definitely making progress with him and apparently he thinks (from what a coworker told me) that Bamm is seriously feeding off my anxiety.
At any rate I talked to my mother inlaw and I'm setting up an appointment with her holistic doctor to try to get my anxiety under control. If that's impacting Bamm in any way then I have to do it for me and for him.
Do you guys think he could benefit from anxiety medication? What kind of side effects have you noticed? I'm trying to decide if it is worth it to seek that route or if the possible side effects are not worth the risk.
So ya that's my vent...
Eta: holy crap this is so long I should have just started a thread...
My boss and I spoke about Bamm today. She did his evaluation months back when he had bitten my former landlord. Even though he has gotten a bit better around other dogs and people I asked her about medicating him to see if that would help calm him down more so that he can actually learn the behavior side of things more. You could have a steak in your hand and he won't listen or bring his attention back to you if he sees a dog off in the distance. Instead he just hard focuses on that dog. Does this with certain people as well especially kids, runners, people on bikes or skateboards etc. He has gotten MUCH better one on one with newer dogs as long as they aren't out of control and pushy with him, but leashed dogs in a distance still sets him off really bad.
Anyways, I was talking to my boss because I'm trying to work on my next steps with him. I'd like to take a positive reinforcement class that deals specifically with reactive dogs (there are a few in the area) and I figured we might have better luck actually working on the behavior/training part of his reactivity if he is on medication for a while. I've been avoiding the idea of medication for a long while but after talking to another chazzer about it the idea has been on my mind. My boss suggested instead that I consider rehoming him since he isn't a good fit for me unlike the other two. Rehome him? I've had him for like 4-5 years. I know she didn't mean it this way but her saying that made me feel like such a failure with him.
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE him, but I do agree he isn't a good fit for me. He was my first dog out on my own and I didn't quite know what I know now as far as dogs are concerned. I'm better at matching myself with dogs now, but at the time I will admit I wasn't and he isn't a good fit for me. That said, I've had him for a long time. I don't think I could just pass him off to someone else. I'd rather try everything I can to work through it and honestly... It's dog reactivity... There are worse things in life and I have managed him this long so I don't see rehoming him as an option at all right now.
I do have a trainer at my work (who is actually really good with aggressive and/or reactive dogs from what I've seen) who has been working with him a little bit since I'm boarding him for a week or two since we are staying at my inlaws temporarily and they have a tiny uncrated dog. Bamm is apparently doing really well with this trainer. He has been able to walk past dogs as close as 5 feet away with little to no reaction. This seriously makes me wonder if the real problem is me in part. I wonder if my anxiety is feeding him in some way. Maybe I'm not aware that I'm nervous with him around other dogs on walks because in my mind I expect him to react and therefore tighten the leash?
He hasn't actually introduced Bamm to any dogs yet but apparently he is definitely making progress with him and apparently he thinks (from what a coworker told me) that Bamm is seriously feeding off my anxiety.
At any rate I talked to my mother inlaw and I'm setting up an appointment with her holistic doctor to try to get my anxiety under control. If that's impacting Bamm in any way then I have to do it for me and for him.
Do you guys think he could benefit from anxiety medication? What kind of side effects have you noticed? I'm trying to decide if it is worth it to seek that route or if the possible side effects are not worth the risk.
So ya that's my vent...
Eta: holy crap this is so long I should have just started a thread...
Well you know how I feel about you trying behavior meds, Amber.
As far as side effects, during the first couple weeks he would go through phases of increased anxiety, then days of relaxation. I think it's pretty normal while the medication adjusts, but after that it has been smooth sailing, no side effects.
Not every med is right for every dog though, so you may have to try a couple if the first type isn't working, and mess with dosages.
As far as side effects, during the first couple weeks he would go through phases of increased anxiety, then days of relaxation. I think it's pretty normal while the medication adjusts, but after that it has been smooth sailing, no side effects.
Not every med is right for every dog though, so you may have to try a couple if the first type isn't working, and mess with dosages.