So I lost my horse in a freak accident on Saturday. I'm pretty sure I'm still in shock because I've been numb all weekend, breaking down in spurts but I doubt it's all hit me yet. I havn't really been able to explain the situation to people because I can't talk about it yet...literally. I can't get the words out of my mouth. I thought maybe typing it out to you guys would help me in some way. I'm going to apologize ahead of time for the length.
I received a call Saturday morning from the trainer in Los Angeles that has had Cabaret in training at her barn for the last two months. She, mid tears, informed me that Cab had been in a VERY bad accident and that things were not looking good. The vet was on his way and she'd keep me updated every 10 minutes or so. After that first call I packed a bunch of crap up and was out the door and on the road in literally five minutes...I had 5 whole hours on the road to sit and freak out.
That morning, the trainers assistant was leading Cab from her stall to the turn-out, which was at the bottem of a pretty steep paved road (only used by horses and tractors) While they were walking down, something spooked her to the point where she reared up and slipped on some lose rocks/gravel. She fell down hard, cracking her head on the pavement and almost landing on the assistant. She then went into very violent seizures to where she was continuously banging her head on the ground. It was very apparent that her skull had been fractured to the point of brain exposure. They called the vet, then me, within minutes of it happening. She never got up
After having been in the car for about 20 minutes I got another call basically asking me to give the vet permission to put her down. I spoke with the vet and he said that she was having very violent seizures only minutes apart and needed to be put down as soon as possible. That was the hardest YES I've ever had to say...but I knew there was nothing that could be done.
When I got there, they had her moved down onto flat ground and she was covered by a tarp. They were still pressure washing the pavement, that's when I really had a melt down. Everyone was so kind and compassionate to me, some of the boarders were there crying and in shock. I guess it was a pretty grizzly scene. The assistant and I cried on each others shoulders. I'm sure she was pretty traumatized, being the one that witnessed it all. She felt like it was her fault and I tried to reassure her the best I could that it wasn't. We all prayed for her with the tarp on, I didn't want to see her or remember her like that. I wanted to picture her as the cute little gangly warmblood, barely grown out of her baby body.
I wish I could have had a chance to see her one last time or at least be able to sit with her while they gave her the shot. It kills me to know that she went in such a traumatic way. I pray to God that the minute her head hit the ground that she felt nothing more. She was barely 4 years old, just starting out life. It's so crazy how one minute she was on her way to run and play and the next minute on her way over the rainbow bridge. Wow I'm bawling pretty bad right now but it feels good to write it out.
People asked what happened and I have a really hard time telling them. I've been fortunate enough to never have had something this tragic happen before this, but now I don't quite know how to deal with it. I'm one to keep everything inside and only confide in a few people. I have a feeling this is going to be VERY hard to keep inside. My BF is being really supportive, nurturing and caring. He is my mouth when people ask.
Some people say I should sue the trainer over it but that is so the LAST thing on my mind. I'd like to place blame but I know that freak accidents happen, especially with large animals, and sometimes there is just no one to point the finger at. My horse was insured so I'm not losing much monetarily except for the training fees. She DID do two months of training and Cab was comming along nicely. According to them, they had never seen her rear during the time she was there and she wasn't much of a rearer with me either. I think I'm just going to cut my $$ losses and leave it be, I have alot more emotional stuff to deal with. I lost something WAY bigger than money...I lost my girl
Well thanks for reading, it felt good to get a little something out I'd appreciate your prayers, thoughts, and advice on dealing with a loss like this as some of you have experienced the same.
I received a call Saturday morning from the trainer in Los Angeles that has had Cabaret in training at her barn for the last two months. She, mid tears, informed me that Cab had been in a VERY bad accident and that things were not looking good. The vet was on his way and she'd keep me updated every 10 minutes or so. After that first call I packed a bunch of crap up and was out the door and on the road in literally five minutes...I had 5 whole hours on the road to sit and freak out.
That morning, the trainers assistant was leading Cab from her stall to the turn-out, which was at the bottem of a pretty steep paved road (only used by horses and tractors) While they were walking down, something spooked her to the point where she reared up and slipped on some lose rocks/gravel. She fell down hard, cracking her head on the pavement and almost landing on the assistant. She then went into very violent seizures to where she was continuously banging her head on the ground. It was very apparent that her skull had been fractured to the point of brain exposure. They called the vet, then me, within minutes of it happening. She never got up
After having been in the car for about 20 minutes I got another call basically asking me to give the vet permission to put her down. I spoke with the vet and he said that she was having very violent seizures only minutes apart and needed to be put down as soon as possible. That was the hardest YES I've ever had to say...but I knew there was nothing that could be done.
When I got there, they had her moved down onto flat ground and she was covered by a tarp. They were still pressure washing the pavement, that's when I really had a melt down. Everyone was so kind and compassionate to me, some of the boarders were there crying and in shock. I guess it was a pretty grizzly scene. The assistant and I cried on each others shoulders. I'm sure she was pretty traumatized, being the one that witnessed it all. She felt like it was her fault and I tried to reassure her the best I could that it wasn't. We all prayed for her with the tarp on, I didn't want to see her or remember her like that. I wanted to picture her as the cute little gangly warmblood, barely grown out of her baby body.
I wish I could have had a chance to see her one last time or at least be able to sit with her while they gave her the shot. It kills me to know that she went in such a traumatic way. I pray to God that the minute her head hit the ground that she felt nothing more. She was barely 4 years old, just starting out life. It's so crazy how one minute she was on her way to run and play and the next minute on her way over the rainbow bridge. Wow I'm bawling pretty bad right now but it feels good to write it out.
People asked what happened and I have a really hard time telling them. I've been fortunate enough to never have had something this tragic happen before this, but now I don't quite know how to deal with it. I'm one to keep everything inside and only confide in a few people. I have a feeling this is going to be VERY hard to keep inside. My BF is being really supportive, nurturing and caring. He is my mouth when people ask.
Some people say I should sue the trainer over it but that is so the LAST thing on my mind. I'd like to place blame but I know that freak accidents happen, especially with large animals, and sometimes there is just no one to point the finger at. My horse was insured so I'm not losing much monetarily except for the training fees. She DID do two months of training and Cab was comming along nicely. According to them, they had never seen her rear during the time she was there and she wasn't much of a rearer with me either. I think I'm just going to cut my $$ losses and leave it be, I have alot more emotional stuff to deal with. I lost something WAY bigger than money...I lost my girl
Well thanks for reading, it felt good to get a little something out
I'd appreciate your prayers, thoughts, and advice on dealing with a loss like this as some of you have experienced the same.
