Life update, finally. (Advice and insight welcome.)

crazedACD

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I've got to ask - do you not get money in the states when you're out because of having a child? o_O

Here, you have to take 6 weeks before and 4 months afters the birth of your child off. During that time you are payed your full income. After 4 months, you have the choice of staying home until 12 months after birth and recieving a % of your paycheck. (min. 300€, max. 1800€ a month).
Some rights and paid only if the employer wants to.

The Family and Medical Leave Act, which was passed in 1993, applies to companies that employ 50 or more people within a 75-mile radius of the workplace. It says that if you have been employed for at least one year by the company you now work for, and work at least 25 hours a week, you can take up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave in any 12-month period for the birth of your baby. All 12 weeks of maternity leave can be taken at the same time or they can be broken up over the course of the year before or after the birth of your baby. Under this law, you must be restored to an equivalent position with equal benefits when you return. (A loophole in this law says this doesn't apply to employees in the top 10 percent compensation bracket.) You can find more detailed information at the FMLA website (www.do.gov/dol/esa/fmla.htm).

Federal laws set the minimum on what you must be allowed if you work for a middleto large-sized company. But your state laws or company policies might offer even more. For example, some states provide disability insurance if you have to leave work because of pregnancy or birth. Some companies offer paid maternity leaves. It's up to you to find out what you're entitled to. Consult the personnel director of your company's human resources department about company policy. And contact your state labor office for state laws regarding pregnancy.
 

Grab

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It's pretty sad really.
My SIL lives in Belgium now and got a ton of paid leave when having her second child. Compare this to her experience when she was still living in the US and had her first and did not receive more than her vacation leave. And people wonder why they won't move back to the states...
 

Barbara!

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I want to go back as soon as possible. 2-3 weeks, hopefully. No, it's not ideal, but I don't have much of a choice. My son is depending on my income and if I take off too much unnecessary time, he will suffer. My job isn't too physically demanding. Going back soon after birth probably wouldn't be that big of an issue.

Nope, we don't get paid of the employer doesn't want to. Some employers offer maternity leave like that... But it's usually only after you've been with the company for a certain amount of time.

I'm super excited about this job, though.

I've been hired as the infant team supervisor. I will be in charge of coordinating three different classrooms.. The 6 week - 6 month "little babies", 6 month - 11 month "middle babies", and the 11 month to 18 months "big babies". Initially I am going to be trained in the actual hands on childcare, and of course that will be something I do throughout the duration of my job, but my main job that I am being hired for is to create and implement policies and direction that will help us better the baby rooms and to better pass state inspections. I'll also be creating and implementing cleaning schedules for the employees, and stimulation activities and lesson plans for the children themselves. The director feels we are lax in a needed amount of policy discipline (having been cited a few times at last inspection for small things, but still things that are against the law) and he also feels that the babies do not get enough stimulation and he wants someone back there to take the lead and direct the other employees. They're all very young. That's what I've been hired to do. So if anyone has any tips/ideas as to activities they think can be done with age groups under 18 months, throw them at me. Also, for those of you with kids in daycare, what do you first look for an expect from your child's daycare? What about in your child's classroom instructor? What sort of knowledge do you want them to have? All of that will help me to draw up schedules and plans for certain things.
 

Barbara!

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Also, how do I file for child support? Medicaid asked for info about Josh, but is there more that I have to do? My friend told me to file through the attorney general.. Is this true?
 

milos_mommy

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You file for child support at family court...at least in NY you do.

Also in NYS you DO NOT need the father's info if you file within 60 days of birth, even though there's a spot for it. So you may want to check. If you tell them Josh is abusive and you're afraid for your safety, they may also let it slide. DO NOT put your address on anything Josh will receive.
 
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Yes, USA absolutely SUCKS in terms of maternity leave and family value.

I want to go back as soon as possible. 2-3 weeks, hopefully. No, it's not ideal, but I don't have much of a choice. My son is depending on my income and if I take off too much unnecessary time, he will suffer. My job isn't too physically demanding. Going back soon after birth probably wouldn't be that big of an issue.
Please, understand that I know money is extremely important. However, your baby can also suffer from being away from you too early. Yes, rock meet hard place.....just make sure you realize some of the pitfalls. I am not talking physically and physically, even if you end up c-section, you should be ok for light work 2-3 weeks out, I am talking emotional.

If you truly cant do it, just be aware of the risks and work to prevent them. Awareness is the key.
 

Barbara!

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Yes, USA absolutely SUCKS in terms of maternity leave and family value.



Please, understand that I know money is extremely important. However, your baby can also suffer from being away from you too early. Yes, rock meet hard place.....just make sure you realize some of the pitfalls. I am not talking physically and physically, even if you end up c-section, you should be ok for light work 2-3 weeks out, I am talking emotional.

If you truly cant do it, just be aware of the risks and work to prevent them. Awareness is the key.
That's the good thing about working at the daycare he will be at. He won't be away from me, which I'm stoked about. :D
 

Kat09Tails

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Also, how do I file for child support? Medicaid asked for info about Josh, but is there more that I have to do? My friend told me to file through the attorney general.. Is this true?
You need to think about this. This is done at family court - basically both your incomes are put into a spreadsheet and the formula and deductions determines what amount you/your child gets. My suggestion is to let this be automatically deducted by the state if they have that option and simply let the state filter this to you.

Also decided at family court is custody and visitation. This is where documenting his douchebaggery will save your ass. Do not assume that he won't be granted visitation or even shared custody- you will need to fight for that.
 

ACooper

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...............................

Also decided at family court is custody and visitation. This is where documenting his douchebaggery will save your ass. Do not assume that he won't be granted visitation or even shared custody- you will need to fight for that.
This. This. x 1000000000

Document his douchebaggery with as much actual evidence as you possibly can! He said/she said is not going to cut it.
 

Barbara!

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My lawyer has said that I will automatically be granted sole since we are unwed and he is out of state. (According to Texas.) But I am recording it. I have already reported past abuse to the AG.

Josh sent me a text and informed me today that he won't have to pay CS because he has an under the table job and can report that he makes nothing to the state.
 

Beanie

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Josh sent me a text and informed me today that he won't have to pay CS because he has an under the table job and can report that he makes nothing to the state.
Oh ho ho.
Save THAT text for sure.

What an idiot.
 
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Josh sent me a text and informed me today that he won't have to pay CS because he has an under the table job and can report that he makes nothing to the state.
Did he... actually send this in a text to you? He's just... not very bright, is he?

I'm sure you already planned to, but for the love of god, save everything like that.
 

milos_mommy

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You might want to calm the phone company and ask for a record of your texts this month to be mailed to you, I'm not sure how well the physical text message or a screenshot will hold up in court.
 

Dogdragoness

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Did he... actually send this in a text to you? He's just... not very bright, is he?

I'm sure you already planned to, but for the love of god, save everything like that.
I also would call the phone company about getting those texts emailed to you.

Oh & I would also be contacting the IRS about this bit of info he sent you, I think they would be very interested to hear about this "under the table" job.

Barbara I really do commend you for being so ... Nice to this asshole after what he put to through, if it was me I would be cataloging info on his arse in a special folder to be used to **** him over with later.
 

LindaJD

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My lawyer has said that I will automatically be granted sole since we are unwed and he is out of state. (According to Texas.) But I am recording it. I have already reported past abuse to the AG.

Josh sent me a text and informed me today that he won't have to pay CS because he has an under the table job and can report that he makes nothing to the state.

I think that is so wrong (not in your case Barbara, he doesn't deserve custody) but in general that a pregnant woman can move out of state and just get sole custody, I really don't think it is fair to men at all.
 

Dogdragoness

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I think that is so wrong (not in your case Barbara, he doesn't deserve custody) but in general that a pregnant woman can move out of state and just get sole custody, I really don't think it is fair to men at all.
I don't know if its that way for every pregnant woman who moves OOS, Maybe Barbara said they would do it for her given Josh's history.
 

Barbara!

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I think that is so wrong (not in your case Barbara, he doesn't deserve custody) but in general that a pregnant woman can move out of state and just get sole custody, I really don't think it is fair to men at all.
Honestly I 100% agree. The system is totally biased towards women, but it's an angle I'm milking, admittedly with some guilt. I feel bad the system doesn't differentiate between scumbags like Josh and honest men who want to see their babies.
 

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