Kids Dating question (inspired by David Beckham)

milos_mommy

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#1
David Beckham recently described a situation where he chaparoned his 14 year old son's date to a sushi restaurant. He said he sat about 5 tables away to "keep an eye" on his son.

What does everyone think of this? Is it fair? I think in a lot of areas/cultures it's obviously considered normal, but it certainly wasn't when I was 14 here in NY and probably isn't now in LA.

I definitely understand why other parents would do this, and for religious/moral reasons I'd expect a certain demographic to do it, but I think if I didn't trust my 14 year old to eat dinner with someone they were romantically interested in alone, I just wouldn't let them go.

Did your parents chaperone dates? At what age? Would/have you done it? What do you think of Beckham's actions.

At 14 I had little to no interest in dating. I went to parties, movies, the mall, etc. with friends of both sexes (sometimes just one other boy) and can not for a second picture my parents there to supervise! We never did anything wrong or got into trouble - I was far from sexually active at that age as were nearly all my friends, the worst thing we ever did was maybe trespass to take a short cut to the movie theater or something. But I never would have been comfortable if my parents were watching, I would have viewed it as a huge breach of trust and it would have crushed my self esteem and my social life. Maybe I'd have felt differently if I grew up where this was normal or expected it growing up.

I can't definitely appreciate Beckham's involvement with his son, but I feel like for a kid growing up in the LA spotlight a better choice might have been simply meeting the girl's parent's first, requesting she spend time with the family, discussing what's expected of their son as he starts dating, or even hanging out in the area/sitting in the car with a book instead of being on top of them IN the restaurant.
 

joce

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#2
I knew pregnant peers at 14. Depends on the child.

We were running around chasing much older men ;)
 
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#3
If I were a celebrity I probably would, or at least send someone else to keep an eye out. Because there are all kinds of crazy stalker people in the world when you're David Beckham.

Myself, with no reason for anyone to crazy stalk me? Nah. BUT, honestly 14 is a little younger than my comfort level for a date depending on my kid's maturity. I'd probably still keep it to group activities at that age.
 

amberdyan

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#4
I didn't date at 14, although one of my friends did. Her parents didn't care at all. I had a boyfriend when I 15 or 16 and he had been my friend for years so my parents already knew him and his family. We were allowed to go places by ourselves and I was allowed to ride in his car. I think it would have been different if my parents hadn't known him so well.

I'm going to echo someone else's sentiment about it being different if you're a celebrity because of creep stalkers, but I would probably let me kid go on a solo date at 14 if I felt they were ready. I would want to drop them off and pick them up from where they were going and I would want to know the boy/girl and his/her parents.
 

*blackrose

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#5
If I were a celebrity I probably would, or at least send someone else to keep an eye out. Because there are all kinds of crazy stalker people in the world when you're David Beckham.

Myself, with no reason for anyone to crazy stalk me? Nah. BUT, honestly 14 is a little younger than my comfort level for a date depending on my kid's maturity. I'd probably still keep it to group activities at that age.
Basically, this.

Until we had a driver's license to drive somewhere ourselves, someone's parent(s) was normally there, too, when "dates" happened, purely for transportation purposes. Be it sitting a few rows back in the theater, or bowling a few isles over, or eating lunch across the restaurant. Lol
 

Fran27

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#6
Oh gosh I was going out on my own to Paris every week end when I was that age. Didn't date until I was 17, but my parents wouldn't have known if I did... Heck my mom even dropped me off at a friend's sometimes (a 17 yo guy).

For my kids? At that age they are mature enough to go out on their own during the day, I think. I can't imagine I'll always know if they happen to hang out with someone they like that way either. So, educate I guess, make sure they keep me aware of what they're doing, that they are home at a normal hour, and that's pretty much it... I really can't imagine doing that, but yeah, when you're a celebrity, it's probably different.
 

sparks19

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#7
Can't say my parents ever really did that but I also wasn't dating at 14 and my parents were drivi ng me on dates. If they were our transportation, I wouldn't be surprised if they stayed at that restaurant or at the movie rather than driving all the way back home and then all the way back to pick me up.

Of course, I was never one to not want my parents around and thinking they were so uncool so it wouldn't have phased me a bit. I had many a teen "party" at my house with my parents around and never felt the need to sequester them away from my friends.

Chances are at 14 they are using their parents transportation and their parents money lol and there is really no reason for a 14 year old to be going on "official dates" lol.
 

Dogdragoness

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#8
I actually never wanted to date in junior high school and HS anyway, so this was a non issue, but if I had, my parents would have drove us to wherever we were going and picked us up (before I got my car at 16).
 

milos_mommy

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#9
See Sparks I never minded my mom hanging out with us at the house (we'd ask her to play video games or board games with us a lot) but I'm pretty sure if she wanted to sit in a restaurant and watch me eat with a boy (or even my friends) I'd be so horrified.

I don't really think 14 year olds need to go on dinner dates either and I'd definitely try to suggest alternatives (bring him out with your friends, go to the school football game together, etc) but if in the end my kid kept asking I'd let them go (and not sit in the restaurant like a stalker - but I'm also not David Beckham). They can pay for it with their allowance/money earned from chores and if it was too far for me to reasonably go home I'd do some work in the car or grab a bite at another place close by...and if I wasn't totally comfortable leaving the kid, I'd also wait in the car.

And if my 14 year old wasn't trustworthy enough to go on a date unchaperoned, then...they wouldn't be going on a date, period, until they were able to prove themselves responsible enough.
 

sillysally

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#10
I had no interest in dating at age 14, but I would not have been allowed to at that age anyway.

If I had kids I don't know that I would be allowing one on one dinner dates at 14 years old, but if I did, I don't know that I would sit and eat in the same restauant. I'd probably be the transportation, but I'm guessing nothing super sketchy is going to be occuring in the middle of a sushi restauant.
 

Torch

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#11
My parents would have done the exact same thing if I was going on dinner dates at 14. Mostly at that age I was still doing group activities.
 

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