Just want to crawl up into a ball.

[yoko]

No I didn't I complained about ANYONE that looks down on me for being a stay at home mom. I said nothing about childless people or people with children.

Society has turned around to looking DOWN at the SAHM. Didn't go to college and are a stay at home mom its worse.

All I pointed out is parents do the exact same thing to people with out kids. And realistically having kids still puts you in the norm.

I mean at this point I can't tell if you just don't see I'm just giving a different point of view or if you are trying to show the reaction that parents give when a single person states things from their side like I mentioned in an earlier post.

 

[Grab]

Well, sex isn't solely for procreation...

To Barbara, hope your financial issues clear up soon. It's always stressful when unexpected things pop up all at the same time.

 

[crazedACD]

Your first sentence is one of the big reasons I wish they would do sterilizations for those who want them and who cares if they change their mind lol. people who want to have sex with their spouses/partners/ etc but absolutely want nothing to do with having kids. I mean it just seems like the better alternative medically to women just having abortions if they did get pregnant. That sounded more callous than it was meant to.

After Hannah was born and for quite some time after that we knew we couldn't handle another child at the time and we made the choice to not have sex. that doesn't mean we weren't intimate of course. We did everything else and in some cases it was even better because we had to get a little more creative with our "intimate" time LOL. aren't you glad I shared that info :rofl1:

I'll be on the table the second my doctor even begins to yes to yanking my uterus out . If not, when/if I get married I will hope hubby will get a vasectomy. There's nothing I can do about that now, though.

 

[Dogdragoness]

Excuse me but I wasn't aware this was a topic about parenting, pregnancy or whatever

I didn't belittle Barbara she made it clear that she wanted her pregnancy. That's great, I'm happy for her, ESP since she didn't think she could have kids

I am not running around playing sperm-Russian roulette bf & I careful, we use condoms, & Try not to have sex at my peak fertility period (I know when I'm ovulating, I just can tell) & yes if it was caught early enough I would use "morning after" if not I would be getting an abortion.

It was not me who started this on kids it was someone else, someone else twists my words around & I am the one who is trolling? Whatever, that's all I have to say.

 

[yoko]

I'll be on the table the second my doctor even begins to yes to yanking my uterus out . If not, when/if I get married I will hope hubby will get a vasectomy. There's nothing I can do about that now, though.

Good luck on that! I've been doctor shopping for one who will for years still haven't found one.

 

[Miakoda]

well that's really the way it is with anything in this world.

don't want kids... what's wrong with you

have kids... don't you know this world is already overpopulated how selfish

democrat/republican/independant... you're throwing away your vote, voting for evil, etc etc

breastfeed... disgusting

bottlefeed... you are killing your baby

give up a child... how could you just give away your child

adopt a child... why would you want to do that. just have your own kids. you can't possibly love that child.

etc, etc etc etc etc etc etc ad nauseum.

No matter what you do or don't do in this life you will face flack from someone.

This. Absolutely.

 

[sparks19]

Well, sex isn't solely for procreation...

To Barbara, hope your financial issues clear up soon. It's always stressful when unexpected things pop up all at the same time.

No it's not solely for procreation but it the sole method for getting pregnant (well other than scientific methods for those having trouble conceiving)

You won't die without it. Might not be pleasant but if you REALLY REALLY don't want a child it's really the ony 100% method to prevent it. Please don't take this as an abstinence only thing. It's not but the science doesn't lie... don't have sex, don't get pregnant. Again it's why I wish doctors would let the woman decide to be sterilized or not instead of forcing their hand and then leaving them with the decision to abort or not. why is giving a woman an abortion more acceptable than tying a womans tubes if she requests it? I don't understand that.

Like someone said earlier... it sometimes seems like people are just "ho hum" about abortion like "If I get pregnant I'll just get an abortion".

 

[ACooper]

Good luck on that! I've been doctor shopping for one who will for years still haven't found one.

And I find that terrible. Not that you are doctor shopping, but that you HAVE to search for one that will do it.

You'd think, in this day with the world crowded enough that a person wouldn't need to beg for something like this. There should be a standard form to sign stating you CAN'T hold the physician/hospital accountable if you change your mind and that's that. Then if you DO change your mind, well, to bad.......you made the choice, live with it. (same as abortions or anything else IMO)

Do I think you should be at least 21....maybe even 25? Yes, because sometimes a bit more maturity does bring different opinions on things, but it should DEFINITELY be available and have a set age on WHEN it will be available.

 

[darkchild16]

All I pointed out is parents do the exact same thing to people with out kids. And realistically having kids still puts you in the norm.

I mean at this point I can't tell if you just don't see I'm just giving a different point of view or if you are trying to show the reaction that parents give when a single person states things from their side like I mentioned in an earlier post.

There's post after post about people who don't want kids in fact I think that's more common these days then people think. I was the only person to offer a viewpoint on the part of a SAHM that's all I was trying to do amongst a sea of people who don't want kids (which is OK). Really the only way I'm in the norm is I have a child. We aren't even considered normal by most parents and I'm ok with that.

And I find that terrible. Not that you are doctor shopping, but that you HAVE to search for one that will do it.

You'd think, in this day with the world crowded enough that a person wouldn't need to beg for something like this. There should be a standard form to sign stating you CAN'T hold the physician/hospital accountable if you change your mind and that's that. Then if you DO change your mind, well, to bad.......you made the choice, live with it. (same as abortions or anything else IMO)

Do I think you should be at least 21....maybe even 25? Yes, because sometimes a bit more maturity does bring different opinions on things, but it should DEFINITELY be available and have a set age on WHEN it will be available.

I don't even think an age. I have 3 kids and want one and I'm STILL jumping through hoops. Maybe a counseling session before ANY tubal would be a better idea.

 

[ACooper]

I don't even think an age. I have 3 kids and want one and I'm STILL jumping through hoops. Maybe a counseling session before ANY tubal would be a better idea.

Oh no, age shouldn't be a factor if you already have at least ONE CHILD. I meant if you have no children, know you don't want children, then after a set age limit you shouldn't even need to explain to a doctor why you want it, they should just hand you a form and set a date for you.

 

[darkchild16]

Oh no, age shouldn't be a factor if you already have at least ONE CHILD. I meant if you have no children, know you don't want children, then after a set age limit you shouldn't even need to explain to a doctor why you want it, they should just hand you a form and set a date for you.

Ahhh ok that makes more sense. Honestly though I still think the best course would be a therapy/counceling session because it is such a life altering choice. Whether you have a kid or don't, 30 or 21 it's GOING to change your life. There are going to be some intense feelings.

 

[Tahla9999]

A child is not completely off the table for me. I don't know if this is normal experience for all, but by the time I hit 15-16, its like a switch went off. I went from saying "I will NEVER have children" to "I can't WAIT to have children". Its pretty weird but its like my maternal instinct woken up from a long slumber. I had a huge urge to have a child and I even read parent magazines. I have now suppress that urge, but yeah it still comes up every now and then especially when I'm around children.

But I'm focus on my career. I really want to be able to support myself and work at my dream job. Like someone said earlier, I need to know how to take care of myself but I even think of taking care of someone else.

About the no sex thing. I have it a lot easier than other people. I'm an aromatic asexual so I have very little interest in getting in a relationship and next to no interest in sex. I would be happy to be a virgin for life. I might compromise for the baby issue, but then again I might just adopt.

 

[Miakoda]

I'll say this:

After having 4 pregnancies, with 1 miscarriage, I "normal one, and 2 life-threatening ones, I was all for a tubal ligation. My OB/GYN was all for my tubal ligation. So after my 3rd was delivered prematurely via c-section, I had a tubal ligation done.

However, NOTHING could've prepared me for the emotional turmoil I went through. Some of it, I'm sure, was a result of pregnancy hormones. Some of it was a result of knowing I made that choice after struggling with severe infertility issues (those who dealt with the same will understand what I'm trying to say here). And yet most of it was the realization that I COULD NOT get pregnant. Yes, I know it sounds weird, because that is the whole point. But it's different to say you don't want to get pregnant and YOU are the one in control. It really is different to know you no longer are in control.

Maybe that doesn't sound like a big deal, and I'm sure others felt/feel different about theirs. But what I'm trying to say is that it can have a highly emotional impact regardless of how solid you are in your decision.

However, with all that said, I do wish it were easier for woman to get the procedure done.

 

[zoe08]

I'll say this:

After having 4 pregnancies, with 1 miscarriage, I "normal one, and 2 life-threatening ones, I was all for a tubal ligation. My OB/GYN was all for my tubal ligation. So after my 3rd was delivered prematurely via c-section, I had a tubal ligation done.

However, NOTHING could've prepared me for the emotional turmoil I went through. Some of it, I'm sure, was a result of pregnancy hormones. Some of it was a result of knowing I made that choice after struggling with severe infertility issues (those who dealt with the same will understand what I'm trying to say here). And yet most of it was the realization that I COULD NOT get pregnant. Yes, I know it sounds weird, because that is the whole point. But it's different to say you don't want to get pregnant and YOU are the one in control. It really is different to know you no longer are in control.

Maybe that doesn't sound like a big deal, and I'm sure others felt/feel different about theirs. But what I'm trying to say is that it can have a highly emotional impact regardless of how solid you are in your decision.

However, with all that said, I do wish it were easier for woman to get the procedure done.

I understand how you feel, even though we haven't done anything permanent because we want one more, but it's the only thing that really bothers me about having c-sections. That I can only have 3-4. And while I do not plan on having more than 3, the fact that having c-sections would determine how many kids I can have does upset me. Because it isn't in my control

 

[CaliTerp07]

It's always scary to give up control, in any situation.

Still, I'd rather be upset about not being able to have a child down the road, than be upset because I had a child. At least in the first case, I'm the only one hurting--in the latter, there's a resented child in the mix.

 

[Romy]

It's always scary to give up control, in any situation.

Still, I'd rather be upset about not being able to have a child down the road, than be upset because I had a child. At least in the first case, I'm the only one hurting--in the latter, there's a resented child in the mix.

This. And there's always other options for adding children to the family even if you personally can't conceive.

 

[darkchild16]

I'll say this:

After having 4 pregnancies, with 1 miscarriage, I "normal one, and 2 life-threatening ones, I was all for a tubal ligation. My OB/GYN was all for my tubal ligation. So after my 3rd was delivered prematurely via c-section, I had a tubal ligation done.

However, NOTHING could've prepared me for the emotional turmoil I went through. Some of it, I'm sure, was a result of pregnancy hormones. Some of it was a result of knowing I made that choice after struggling with severe infertility issues (those who dealt with the same will understand what I'm trying to say here). And yet most of it was the realization that I COULD NOT get pregnant. Yes, I know it sounds weird, because that is the whole point. But it's different to say you don't want to get pregnant and YOU are the one in control. It really is different to know you no longer are in control.

Maybe that doesn't sound like a big deal, and I'm sure others felt/feel different about theirs. But what I'm trying to say is that it can have a highly emotional impact regardless of how solid you are in your decision.

However, with all that said, I do wish it were easier for woman to get the procedure done.

you said exactly why I feel it would help anyone to go to a councelor (sp?) before hand. It's how I feel even knowing there will NEVER be another one because of the health impact. My husband and I currently do not have sex for this reason as well. I'm TERRIFIED of getting pregnant again but I'm equally terrified of making a permanent decision. I know it needs to happen but I get so anxious and then to have a dr tell me I'm too young and yeah it hasn't been pretty. Thankfully Jeremy is very understanding and hasn't been too pushy for anything. He's tried to set it up for him to get tied and even that makes me anxious.

 

[Fran27]

It's funny because they made us go to a counselor before trying IVF. You'd think they would too before you make yourself infertile.

I've heard of women who were done with kids or didn't want children have hysterectomies and it was really hard on them too. There's a difference between being confident you don't want something but still have the choice to do it, and not having the choice anymore.

 

[Romy]

It's funny because they made us go to a counselor before trying IVF. You'd think they would too before you make yourself infertile.

I've heard of women who were done with kids or didn't want children have hysterectomies and it was really hard on them too. There's a difference between being confident you don't want something but still have the choice to do it, and not having the choice anymore.

It's really hard even when it doesn't seem rational. One of my friends was pushing 50 and had no children, wasn't in a LTR, really successful professional, and had to get a hysterectomy for medical reasons.

She was an emotional wreck over it. She told me that she knew rationally, it didn't make much difference because she was starting menopause anyway and couldn't have kids for a bunch of other reasons, but somehow, the finality of having those organs removed was really hard on her. She said she knew it was the right thing to do but also wished that someone had warned her it would feel that way so she could have prepared herself for it.

 

[Barbara!]

I'm still trying to figure out why we're even talking about abortion in a thread where the baby is obviously wanted. I just don't think the discussion has a place here. It's not an option for Barbara so it doesn't matter what you (general) would do if you had an oops. It's not applicable.

In particular there's the fact that if she has PCOS then she's probably heard over and over from doctors how difficult it will be to conceive. And it really could be difficult in the future. I have PCOS and I know if I wanted kids (not sure right now) I'd be ecstatic I could even get pregnant even if the timing wasn't perfect.

Exactly.

My pregnancy wasn't on purpose, but it certainly wasn't an accident or unintentional. My cousin has PCOS and it took her a decade and 7 miscarriages to conceive so my logic was "I better get a head start", if that makes any sense. I'm pregnant now and I am BEYOND happy about it, because I am one of those girls that has always had dreams of her own, but I've also always wanted to be a wife and a mother. This baby may not get new everything right away, or even new ANYTHING... (My Dad has said he will buy a new crib, though, and anything else I need new.) But they will be loved. Very. Very. Very much.

And then, once things work out with my boyfriend like I hope they do, it will all be okay...