Although I'm happy when people try to get permission before doing a meet/greet between their dog and mine, I'm getting tired of having to basically say "My dog's aggressive" or "No, she's not friendly" when they ask. I feel like I'm constantly being forced to degrade my dog to keep the peace. She's not aggressive - not interested in hurting another dog - and she is friendly, but she's very dominant and will start WWIII (climbing, rearing, snarling, posturing, etc., etc.) if the other dog isn't pretty submissive. Which is where I get annoyed - people who ask this question "is she friendly?" always have dogs which, frankly, are pretty dominant themselves. After all, they're the dogs who are trying to drag their owners over to see us, the ones who get right up in another dog's face before making any attempt at communication, etc. But I and my dog have to take all the blame for being 'the problem' because their owners just see their dog's behavior as 'friendly.' Argh...
Is she friendly? little ventish
- Thread starter casablanca1
- Start date
I have no issue with people asking me if it's ok for our dogs to sniff noses / should they keep their dogs away etc. "Are they ok ? / friendly/ whatever" How is that a bad thing ? If the answer is "no, please keep your dog from approaching us" then so be it. My reasons are my own wether it's that my dog is old and sore or doesn't greet strange dogs well, is dog-dog aggressive. Maybe my dog is in training mode and I'd just prefer not to be bothered. (I don't actualy do on leach greeting of strange dogs-- I think that's just asking for trouble.) If the person made some nasty remark, that's another thing, but I think it's very appropriate to ask if you want someone to allow an on leash greeting or not. To me that's actually showing consideration.
I usually have my dogs off leash and pull them off to the side of the trail and have them sit to let other people go by. Mine are both fine with dogs and people, but if they are in a sitstay, I don't want other dogs coming over and sniffing /greeting them - that's not fair to them. If people ARE going to have their dogs come over I will release mine to go say hi. I wouldn't complain about people asking-- that's better than most people who just do whatever the heck they want / aren't paying an attention to what their dog is doing, have no control or recall.
I also don't think snarling, rearing, posturing causing WWIII at the sight or approach of another dog is "dominance" nor is it how a true alpha dog behaves. I would call that leash reactive.
Plenty of dogs are reactive on leash, some dogs are dog-dog aggressive. So what? That doesn't make them "bad dogs". If it's a problem to you then work on it. If you're ok with it then don't. My choice would be Emma Parson's "Click to Calm" method which works amazingly well and will bare minimum give you a dog you can calmly walk past another dog.
I usually have my dogs off leash and pull them off to the side of the trail and have them sit to let other people go by. Mine are both fine with dogs and people, but if they are in a sitstay, I don't want other dogs coming over and sniffing /greeting them - that's not fair to them. If people ARE going to have their dogs come over I will release mine to go say hi. I wouldn't complain about people asking-- that's better than most people who just do whatever the heck they want / aren't paying an attention to what their dog is doing, have no control or recall.
I also don't think snarling, rearing, posturing causing WWIII at the sight or approach of another dog is "dominance" nor is it how a true alpha dog behaves. I would call that leash reactive.
Plenty of dogs are reactive on leash, some dogs are dog-dog aggressive. So what? That doesn't make them "bad dogs". If it's a problem to you then work on it. If you're ok with it then don't. My choice would be Emma Parson's "Click to Calm" method which works amazingly well and will bare minimum give you a dog you can calmly walk past another dog.
I never allow either of my dogs to interact with strange dogs. Period.
As for people, Hades does often.
I know what you mean, especially if people are nice about it, but I'd rather seem like the rude person and avoid a tragedy. Ex) Roxy biting someone who pats her the wrong way, or another dog biting mine.
Even if I just have Hades who isn't DA, usually I'll tell people he doesn't get along with other dogs just so they'll stay away.
I mean, I don't know if your dogs DA! I don't know if it's had all it's shots etc.
I just avoid the possibility of strange dog meetings going bad completely.
As for people, Hades does often.
I know what you mean, especially if people are nice about it, but I'd rather seem like the rude person and avoid a tragedy. Ex) Roxy biting someone who pats her the wrong way, or another dog biting mine.
Even if I just have Hades who isn't DA, usually I'll tell people he doesn't get along with other dogs just so they'll stay away.
I mean, I don't know if your dogs DA! I don't know if it's had all it's shots etc.
I just avoid the possibility of strange dog meetings going bad completely.
Oh, obviously it is great that people are asking. My take on the OP (and my reply) is just feeling like there are judgements being made about me or my dog just because I don't want her to meet dogs on-leash and/or she can't handle it. Most of the time, I don't care. Some days, I'm feeling a bit more sensitive
. Especially when they ask as their dog drags them over to your dog, and your dog snarls before you can answer. And then you get the "what a bad owner" stare....
Can you tell it happened just yesterday, and on a...umm, bad day of the month?...to upset me??
. Especially when they ask as their dog drags them over to your dog, and your dog snarls before you can answer. And then you get the "what a bad owner" stare....Can you tell it happened just yesterday, and on a...umm, bad day of the month?...to upset me??
Oh, obviously it is great that people are asking. My take on the OP (and my reply) is just feeling like there are judgements being made about me or my dog just because I don't want her to meet dogs on-leash and/or she can't handle it. Most of the time, I don't care. Some days, I'm feeling a bit more sensitive . Especially when they ask as their dog drags them over to your dog, and your dog snarls before you can answer. And then you get the "what a bad owner" stare....
Can you tell it happened just yesterday, and on a...umm, bad day of the month?...to upset me??
. Especially when they ask as their dog drags them over to your dog, and your dog snarls before you can answer. And then you get the "what a bad owner" stare....Can you tell it happened just yesterday, and on a...umm, bad day of the month?...to upset me??
I see far more who would just allow their dog to bound on up off leash on an on leash trail and then when your dog reacts basically to rudeness, they act all out of joint like it's YOUR dog with the problem.Those are the people who get me. Or the ones who bring dog-dog aggressive dogs and bullies to the park and let them off leash and then just say "oh well he's just a dominant dog" . No, what he is is a bully who isn't good with other dogs and shouldn't be at a park.
If I see someone looking nervous as we approach I'll call out "I won't let my dogs approach. it's ok" wether they are nervous because they have kids or a small dog or a leash reactive dog or maybe they are just afraid of dogs themselves. I have asked people if their dog is friendly when they are getting hauled over to us and I can't avoid them in any way and then I'll just say well, its ok mine are too-- in the hopes that they'll just allow them to greet nicely rather than add to their traing problem by having their dog learn that the way to get to greet is to pull like a freight train.
Oh, obviously it is great that people are asking. My take on the OP (and my reply) is just feeling like there are judgements being made about me or my dog just because I don't want her to meet dogs on-leash and/or she can't handle it. Most of the time, I don't care. Some days, I'm feeling a bit more sensitive . Especially when they ask as their dog drags them over to your dog, and your dog snarls before you can answer. And then you get the "what a bad owner" stare
. Especially when they ask as their dog drags them over to your dog, and your dog snarls before you can answer. And then you get the "what a bad owner" stare
Personally, I think the 'alpha' stuff is not a great way to describe a dog. Observations based on wolves are only valid up to a point with dogs, and I really have questions about the whole 'calm alpha dogs are true leaders' business. But I suspect we'll continue to disagree about that
I call her dominant because of her behavior with people and dogs offleash, not based on her leash behavior, which I agree is reactive. She's a pushy dog, and although she's very affectionate and sweet, she's also very persistent in doing exactly what she wants to do.
I call her dominant because of her behavior with people and dogs offleash, not based on her leash behavior, which I agree is reactive. She's a pushy dog, and although she's very affectionate and sweet, she's also very persistent in doing exactly what she wants to do.