You've all heard me complain about my mom. It was such a toxic situation.
But there are days where I'd give anything to have it back.
I'm living with my uncle(and his wife and daughter). I came here a month ago and it's still not any better. The first thing that sent me off was that I couldn't bring my dog. I feel so alone now...you guys understand how that is. I MISS MY DOG. he's staying at my brothers but it's not the same.
I'm not used to having a man raise his voice at me. I've never had a father figure so I just can't handle it....I just have to get away and break down. All my uncle does is complain about people who are depressed/have anxiety(I have both...) about how all they need is to stop their pills and just go out more..."socialize." If only it really was that easy.
I have never been so unhappy here. I don't want to ask for anything. I dont even feel like I can voice my opinion on anything, without just being shutdown. I feel like I don't matter. I feel so unwanted. It doesnt matter that we're family, I'm not his daughter and I totally feel it. I just feel like someone renting a room.
I don't want to burden them and that's what I feel like I'm doing.
I can't talk to anyone about the way I feel, certainly not anyone here. I will write to my brother and he has the same responses as my uncle would have. I can't tell my mom because then she'll call my uncle, and that always backfires on me.
I'm just trying so hard to be apart of the family..I'm not staying in my room, I'm rarely on the computer, I'm playing with their daughter all the time(I don't even like kids), I'm walking the dogs..I don't care that they might take me on vacations or to nice dinners, I just want to feel someone love me.
For the past few days, I've seriously considered calling a suicide hotline. I don't know if I'm suicidal, I never thought I was, but I just really want someone to listen to me without making me feel worse or just shutting me down.
I didn't even want to write this post because I people say I complain a lot, I just don't know what else to do.
But there are days where I'd give anything to have it back.
I'm living with my uncle(and his wife and daughter). I came here a month ago and it's still not any better. The first thing that sent me off was that I couldn't bring my dog. I feel so alone now...you guys understand how that is. I MISS MY DOG. he's staying at my brothers but it's not the same.
I'm not used to having a man raise his voice at me. I've never had a father figure so I just can't handle it....I just have to get away and break down. All my uncle does is complain about people who are depressed/have anxiety(I have both...) about how all they need is to stop their pills and just go out more..."socialize." If only it really was that easy.
I have never been so unhappy here. I don't want to ask for anything. I dont even feel like I can voice my opinion on anything, without just being shutdown. I feel like I don't matter. I feel so unwanted. It doesnt matter that we're family, I'm not his daughter and I totally feel it. I just feel like someone renting a room.
I don't want to burden them and that's what I feel like I'm doing.
I can't talk to anyone about the way I feel, certainly not anyone here. I will write to my brother and he has the same responses as my uncle would have. I can't tell my mom because then she'll call my uncle, and that always backfires on me.
I'm just trying so hard to be apart of the family..I'm not staying in my room, I'm rarely on the computer, I'm playing with their daughter all the time(I don't even like kids), I'm walking the dogs..I don't care that they might take me on vacations or to nice dinners, I just want to feel someone love me.
For the past few days, I've seriously considered calling a suicide hotline. I don't know if I'm suicidal, I never thought I was, but I just really want someone to listen to me without making me feel worse or just shutting me down.
I didn't even want to write this post because I people say I complain a lot, I just don't know what else to do.
