Ethical/morals question

gapeach

Big Mutts
Joined
Mar 16, 2005
Messages
3,097
Likes
0
Points
36
Age
45
Location
Ga
#1
Ok backstory: I've been communicating with a local cat rescue about fostering kittens. We agree Gracie would do better with young kittens (who have never exxperienced a dog). Yes they will be in seperate rooms and introduced gradually.

Anyway, Cari (the cat lady) tells me she thinks she has a good fit for us. A girl contacted her about taking 2 five week old kittens. They converse back and forth.... Caro finds out one of the pair may be sick. The girl says they don't have the money for vetting. Carie tells her to take it to her vet, she'll take care of it. The girl says it's getting late she'll do it tomorrow! Then the girl will never answer Cari's messages....she never took it to the vet. Carie thinks maybe it died and the girl didn't want to tell her.

Then I remember an ad I 'd seen on Craigslist...2 five week old kittens. They took away from a feral mama. I told Carie I bet they were the same. I contacted the girl, sure enough she sent me the same pics she'd sent Cari. We can't figure out why she quit talking with Cari.
She's more than happy to let me have them and will meet me in town with them asap.



My question is: Should I tell her I'm fostering not keeping these kittens? Does she deserve to know I'm working with the woman she cut off contact with?
 
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
1,681
Likes
0
Points
0
Location
Fort McMurray, AB, CA
#2
Nope, JMO, if she was reluctant to allow them to go to a rescue who would pay to help the sick kitten she is probably going to be reluctant to allow them to go to foster.
 

drmom777

Bloody but Unbowed
Joined
Apr 11, 2007
Messages
5,480
Likes
0
Points
36
Age
60
Location
new jersey
#3
Nope, JMO, if she was reluctant to allow them to go to a rescue who would pay to help the sick kitten she is probably going to be reluctant to allow them to go to foster.
And this is why it isn't OK to lie to her to get what you want. Based on your story we don't know why she severed communication and we don't know of anything she actually did wrong. Apparently she rescued the kittens. So how would you like it if you rescued two kittens and someone lied to you to take the kittens somewhere you didn't want them to go just because they thought what they wanted to do was right and you were wrong?

Now there's a nice run on sentence if ever there was one.
 

gapeach

Big Mutts
Joined
Mar 16, 2005
Messages
3,097
Likes
0
Points
36
Age
45
Location
Ga
#4
Thanks for your opinions. I have another question: How do I tell her now (that I'm fostering not keeping) without freaking her out?
 

gapeach

Big Mutts
Joined
Mar 16, 2005
Messages
3,097
Likes
0
Points
36
Age
45
Location
Ga
#5
I should also add....she told Cari she would take them to the shelter. And after I typed and told her I was interested in them, she typed back: Your welcome to them. Can you come get them soon?
It just screams to me that she wants them gone Yesterday....so I 'm really missing what happened with Cari.
Why would you save them from being feral just to take them to a shelter? Then not give them to a rescue but give them away with no questions asked?
I think maybe Cari wasn't clear on the fact that the vetting would be paid for.

But then I'm scared to death that if I'm totally honest (tell her I'm fostering for Cari's rescue) she'll not give them up and possibly let them die.
 

Xandra

Active Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2009
Messages
3,806
Likes
0
Points
36
#6
I definitely wouldn't tell her I was fostering unless it came up. When you get there just say they're really cute, you'll take great care of them, thanks very much.

Could be that she decided they weren't sick after all or not sick enough to bother with a vet and someone promising to pay her back.
 

gapeach

Big Mutts
Joined
Mar 16, 2005
Messages
3,097
Likes
0
Points
36
Age
45
Location
Ga
#7
Thanks Xandra, that was my initial thought too. Just thinking long term also...the rescue posts the babies who are for adoption on Craigslist..where she had them posted.....
I think she might see/recognize them in just a few weeks:eek:
 

Maxy24

Active Member
Joined
Nov 29, 2006
Messages
8,070
Likes
2
Points
38
Age
32
Location
Massachusetts
#8
I would probably tell her you want to foster and find them great homes but I would likely leave out that you foster for the rescue she was talking to. I'd be afraid she might feel tricked or feel like the rescue is hunting her down.


But it's really your call. I mean if you get there and she doesn't really seem to care where they go then she probably wouldn't care that you're rehoming them. I just know if I rescued an animal and found him a new home only to find out they rehomed him again I'd be upset. But that's because I would have wanted him back to find him a home myself, I'd want to know what sort of place he was going to. But who knows what this girl wants.
 

gapeach

Big Mutts
Joined
Mar 16, 2005
Messages
3,097
Likes
0
Points
36
Age
45
Location
Ga
#9
Exactly Maxy, when I contacted her each response was immediate and the first one I felt was a little snarky, like she can't wait to get rid of them. I don't get it.
I asked what they were eating /how often. She said wet food 2x a day (shouldn't they be eating more often?) And one still prefers milk, she said she'd give me the powder.
Also said she hasn't introduced them to litterbox yet.....maybe that's why she's ready to get them gone...where have they been going?:yikes:
 

Xandra

Active Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2009
Messages
3,806
Likes
0
Points
36
#10
Thanks Xandra, that was my initial thought too. Just thinking long term also...the rescue posts the babies who are for adoption on Craigslist..where she had them posted.....
I think she might see/recognize them in just a few weeks:eek:
I'd probably give her a call then and explain the situation... don't do it over email or she may be inclined to ignore you lol be sure to be totally non judgemental, and tell her who you are and how you found/recognized them so you guys don't come off as stalkers. And of course say you'll whisk them away asap.

She may just have not vetted them due to laziness/parents said no/no car etc and then she felt pressure by Carlie and avoided the emails... So if youre very nice and chill and accommodating she may be fine with it.
 

gapeach

Big Mutts
Joined
Mar 16, 2005
Messages
3,097
Likes
0
Points
36
Age
45
Location
Ga
#11
Thanks Xandra..I don't want to make her feel bad. But I do want to get these kittens a good home. Thinking of going the route..."By the way, I realized I'd seen your kitten s before...."and explain the situation.

Thinking on having them in the laundry room for a short time, at least until they figure out what a litterbox is. Both my bathrooms have carpet.
 
Joined
Oct 4, 2012
Messages
886
Likes
0
Points
0
#12
I took an illegal pit-mix puppy from someone who thought I was keeping it. I had talked to him about why the two pups he had weren't safe (he had NO idea what the BSL here entails) but he was one of those "no one can take my dogs from me!" macho dumbass types. So I told him I wanted the one he was trying to give away and I sent him out of province.

Since then, the one he kept has been reported twice and he ended up moving to a rural area to keep the dog safe.

So, nope, no feelings of guilt here!
 

crazedACD

Active Member
Joined
Mar 13, 2012
Messages
3,048
Likes
0
Points
36
Location
West Missouri
#13
I definitely wouldn't tell her I was fostering unless it came up. When you get there just say they're really cute, you'll take great care of them, thanks very much.

Could be that she decided they weren't sick after all or not sick enough to bother with a vet and someone promising to pay her back.
Agreed...if she's willing to drop them at the shelter or give them to the first person to show up, it's just as well they get into rescue if possible. I'd consider this "Don't ask, don't tell".
 
Joined
Apr 4, 2011
Messages
3,199
Likes
0
Points
0
Location
St. Louis, MO
#14
I wouldnt tell her you were going to foster UNLESS she point blank asks and interviews you trying to find a good home. If she is willing to just give you the kittens, no questions asked, well, then, nothing needs to be answered IMO
 

gapeach

Big Mutts
Joined
Mar 16, 2005
Messages
3,097
Likes
0
Points
36
Age
45
Location
Ga
#15
Update: Talked to the girl...she says the rescue never got back to her. Obviously the lines got crossed somewhere. This girl's family fosters for another rescue in our area.
It does sometimes take this rescue lady awhile to get back with me. She's super busy with work and tons of cats right now!

Anyway now I am making arrangements to go get our foster babies!!!

And the sick kitten is doing much better, playing, eating etc:D:D:D
 

Members online

Top