Chaz Moms and Moms-to-Be Chat (everyone welcome)

joce

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If we had everything planned perfect we would not have even tried till my mom retired which I had miscalculated and thought was last year lol! Now I am wondering when I can manage number two with work since I used all my sick time already and no pay for three months kinds screws all. Wanted to have three right together but financially how will that work? So realistically probably another two years. Keep telling myself not to overthink it though as I'll never have another then.
 

*blackrose

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I think we'll be waiting to try until after Michael's deployment. Which is kind of disappointing...but honestly, it is probably for the best. We'll be in a much better position financially then, and it will give us a bit more time to get settled. Still kind of sucks, though.
 

Taqroy

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So, you know how I mentioned that DH was suddenly thinking we needed to wait a while? Well he recalculated a few things and it looks like we are looking at TTC starting in February. :) Excited/terrified.
Yay, that is exciting!! I did photos every week when I was prego, until 35 weeks when I just didn't want to contemplate the idea of being pregnant for 5-7 more. Lol.

We were going to evaluate when Falon hit 18 months but I think we're going to wait until 2 years instead. There's a lot of job and potential move things happening and I just don't feel ready to start trying again. Still kind of sad though, there's a giant baby wave happening all around me and it makes me miss the tiny squish stage.
 

stardogs

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Which is kind of disappointing...but honestly, it is probably for the best. We'll be in a much better position financially then, and it will give us a bit more time to get settled. Still kind of sucks, though.
I know those feels! (((hugs))) It's hard to look at these things logically sometimes!
 

milos_mommy

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We also put TTC on hold after back to back family emergencies :( it might be a long while, a year + til we try again. Waiting does suck, especially when your kid suddenly becomes a huge lanky opinionated toddler and just isn't an infant anymore at all.
 

~Jessie~

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Your bump is so cute, Dizzy!

I did belly shots every week, except I missed a few weeks here and there, especially towards the end. I loved being pregnant and I miss it! I don't want another child for at least a couple of years, though! Definitely don't want more than one in diapers at the same time.

She's 6 weeks old and smiley now! AND she's sleeping 6-7 hours straight through every night on average now. It's amazing.


_DSC8237.jpg by Chihuahuaesque, on Flickr


_DSC8229.jpg by Chihuahuaesque, on Flickr

We went to the beach last week and put her toes in the water!


Toes in the water! by Chihuahuaesque, on Flickr


First beach adventure! by Chihuahuaesque, on Flickr
 

Taqroy

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We also put TTC on hold after back to back family emergencies :( it might be a long while, a year + til we try again. Waiting does suck, especially when your kid suddenly becomes a huge lanky opinionated toddler and just isn't an infant anymore at all.
Solidarity. Where did my baby go and who is this toddler with Opinions??
 
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Yeahhh...but then your opinionated toddler hands you a rock, says "Tatu!" (Thank you!) and your heart melts.

A coworker just had a baby and I squished her this week. I could hear my ovaries screaming. We're still not trying/not preventing.

But in discussing with my coworker, it's clear that in a lot of cases, the newborn period sucks.
Huge.
So much.
Ev screamed for 8 weeks straight.

It was still worth it but I wish someone had prepped me and said how much it might suck and that it's still normal and okay and it will end. So there, preggos. I've now said it. Your baby might cry a ton, but it won't be your fault and you'll still be doing a great job.
 

milos_mommy

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Lillian also says Tatu for thank you when she hands you stuff (all the rocks!). Toddlers do rock, I loveeeee this age! But I miss stuff like her sleeping on me, nursing, and the little firsts like her first laugh...but partially I think I was on a bit of a hormone high earlier on and now I'm my regular unstable self, I guess it's usually the opposite.

Lillian rocked as a newborn! It was like... 3-8 months that was tough. Now the hardest part is keeping her contained and the house not covered in food. I can deal with a "we sit on the couch, not jump on it" tantrum much easier than I can deal with 5 hours of "hold me 75 degrees from your body facing outward walking at a 3 mile per hour pace in a 68 degree room with the lights dimmed" haha
 

Jules

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Jules, I felt the same way. Even though Lillian was unplanned and I hadn't tried, after 2 miscarriages and with endometriosis it seemed unreal. I didn't tell anyone until I was like 5 months pregnant. I refused to buy baby things until around 7 or 8 months.
(((((hugs))))) That would be so so hard. Have you considered talking to someone? I went to a therapist after miscarrying and I honestly think she saved my marriage. Pregnancy is hard and the hormones and feelings around all of it (including prior losses or infertility issues) make it infinitely more difficult.

If it helps though - I didn't have any cravings either. Have you felt the baby moving yet? That's when it got real for me (and then real annoying as she spent a good majority of her time crammed inside my rib cage having a dance party).
I completely understand. I had a hard time being confident about my pregnancy as well. In the beginning, I told myself I'd be comfortable once I hit 12 weeks... then once I hit 12 weeks I still wasn't, so I thought by 20 weeks I'd definitely be comfortable, and once I hit that I was still nervous about potential loss... and I was nervous up until I delivered. I always felt like being "more" pregnant would make me less fearful- I wish that I stopped and enjoyed my entire pregnancy because I LOVED being pregnant besides fearing the tiny tiny chance of something potentially going wrong.

I guess I felt that it was such a fluke that I was actually pregnant and it wasn't going to last. I had a chemical pregnancy in the past, so I went through the excitement of getting a positive result and then having it go away.

Even when we decorated her nursery when I was 8 months along, I still couldn't shake the feeling. I felt the more stuff I bought or did would make the pain of a loss even higher because then it would be more "real."

So... my advice would be to try to relax and realize the chance of everything going smoothly is WAY WAY WAY higher than something going wrong. You've already made it 19 weeks and there's no reason that you won't have a beautiful baby at the end. The worrying really takes away from the enjoyment of the moment.

Thank you guys for your responses and sorry for not replying sooner. I just had to take an internet break for a bit and it definitely helped. It just felt like the rug was going to be ripped away from underneath me for so long... I was an anxious mess.

So.. here I am today, almost at 21 weeks. We had our anatomy scan today and everything checks out perfectly fine. We're having a little boy :)

Admittedly, I had gender disappointment for about an hour, but I am perfectly fine now. Now it's time to think about some boys name... we already found the perfect girl name... well, now we have to put our thinking caps back on.

I am just glad that he (ha, it's so weird to be able to think in a gender now) is healthy. Now it's time to shop! Ha!
 
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Yay!!! Congrats! I had gender disappointment too, for longer than I would like to admit. But now I can't imagine having a boy.

Names. Oh lawd, I struggled and stressed and questioned our choice, even months after she was named. So hard!
 

Dizzy

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We've picked names and I don't think I'm ever going to be 100% satisfied!!!

My main worry is the boys middle name which my oh really really wants!! I don't know if it's just a bit silly. But he's wanted it forever.

Plus I really like the girls name but not sure if it's a bit weak.

It's such a responsibility!!!!
 

Taqroy

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So.. here I am today, almost at 21 weeks. We had our anatomy scan today and everything checks out perfectly fine. We're having a little boy :)
Yay!! I am so glad we found out the sex - it made it so much more real for both of us. As we left the appointment Matt started talking about baby names (a topic that he was fairly meh about before). I'm glad that I wasn't the only one with a bit of gender disappointment. I was weirdly sure that Falon was a boy, so it was a shock when she wasn't. :p
 
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Yay!! I am so glad we found out the sex - it made it so much more real for both of us. As we left the appointment Matt started talking about baby names (a topic that he was fairly meh about before). I'm glad that I wasn't the only one with a bit of gender disappointment. I was weirdly sure that Falon was a boy, so it was a shock when she wasn't. :p

Same here! I was positive Ev was a boy!

And Dizzy, that's just it. I felt so much more pressure to give a girl the perfect name. Strong, unique, but still feminine. My sticking point was I didn't like the spelling "Everly" but "Everleigh" seemed frivolous. Oh well. Too late now. :)
 

Taqroy

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Same here! I was positive Ev was a boy!

And Dizzy, that's just it. I felt so much more pressure to give a girl the perfect name. Strong, unique, but still feminine. My sticking point was I didn't like the spelling "Everly" but "Everleigh" seemed frivolous. Oh well. Too late now. :)
FWIW I really love Everleigh's name (and the spelling).

I had the same issue with Falon's name - I brought it up as a joke because I was SURE Matt wouldn't like it and then it ended up being the only name we both liked. He liked more normal, popular, names and I liked old time hollywood style names. I can't imagine Falon by any other name but she definitely had to grow into it. For the first 6 months or so she went by little girl, baby, or zuzu.

Actually, we both liked Mallory too but with Avery as a middle name and N for the last initial....lol. That would just be mean.
 

Grab

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One of our early sticking points was that I don't like the whole "name every boy in this family" such and such name tradition that my husband's family has. (they use it as a middle name) It's not that it is a bad name, but it is a common one, and it's just something I think is silly. (Bestowing a name on a child just because it's what's always been done) But, we ended up coming up with a unique to us name that we both liked (a character from a book my husband really likes) His sister ended up giving her child, born a few months later, the family middle name, so it all worked out :)
 

~Jessie~

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Congrats, Jules!

BTW, I love the names Falon and Everleigh. Both are unique but classic and the exact style names I love.

We had names picked out before we found out the gender. I still second guess our name choice, but she's been Nora since I was 15 weeks pregnant:)
 

stardogs

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All this baby talk is getting me excited to start trying in a few years. But I have to admit I have a terrible fear of not being able to get pregnant. There is no reason behind the fear, I just have that fear.
On average it takes about 6 months from what I have heard. DH is convinced that we won't have any trouble and should be prepared for it to work on the first try, but yea, there's def that little bit of worry in my mind about not being able to conceive that easily, hence my push for starting things at 30, "just in case".
 

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