I can;t stop crying

SummerRiot

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#41
Aww, I haven't read the whole thread, just the last few posts along with the first few.

At least you figured out that its NOT Rogan that caused this. Thats sort of a good thing!!
I'm glad that you are seeking help for this. That is defiantely a first step :)

No worries you'll pull through this! :)
 

Lyn Scillitoe

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#42
I hope you're right - still keep thinking that if i hadn't got the dog then it wouldnt have happened but I know that i need to look forward now as I can't change what has already happened
 

Giny

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#43
Just take it one day at a time. I suffer from anxieties and know how you feel. My anxieties we not too bad when we got our first dog, Kassie, though I did feel quite anxious when we first got her. The thought of her relying on me for everything and for me wanting to be a good dog owner was scary. Once she got older and trained the anxieties went away and now 3 dogs later it's not a problem what so ever. You may not see it right now but I'm confident that with time you'll bond with your pup and this feeling you're experiencing will be in the past. I commend you for working with it and seeking help. Working with what triggers your anxieties is the best thing to do, if you try to push the trigger away it will only manifest in other triggers.
 

Elly

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#45
I guess at this point it would do not good to give up the pup. You would only feel unhappy and guilty for the kids which would make your existing depression that much worse.:( You are right to not look back at what might have been. Backpeddling never helps

I know that certain things can trigger depression as I have had this happen to me at different times in my life. Moving to the middle of nowhere and being two and a half hours away from my son has been one of them.Needless to say we are moving closer to him soon as our house sells:)

At least I know what triggered my depression this time which makes it a little easier to fix. Your depression was probably triggered by the dog but it isnt really the dog itself but maybe what it represents to your uncouncious mind.

Councilling would help you immensely to find out what that is .I have heard hypnotherapy is good too.

Actually the dog might help you through it as dogs are used for therapy and such for many people.They are brought into homes where elderly people are lonely and feeling isolated. They lower BP when petted and it does help to care for them as it takes you out of yourself a bit.

Taking them for a walk gets you out of the house and walking is good exercise which helps with depression

They love unconditionally as well.

You have people on here as well that are always ready to help and offer friendship so know help and support are as close as your cp:)

All the best to you. I bet your pup is adorable too.
.
 

Lyn Scillitoe

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#46
Thank you so much - I have put a picture onto my profile but it doesn't seem to be coming on to my posts ???

Hopefully the counsellor will get in touch with me in the next couple of days and then I can make some progress
 
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#47
I know you aren't expecting things to change overnight, but you have identified that you have a problem and that is a good step. Don't look at it like, "tomorrow when I wake up things will be cotton candy clouds and bubble gum kisses" so that when you wake up and still feel shitty you don't sink even worse.
 

Lyn Scillitoe

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#50
Things are much the same at the mo, my mum and dad are here at the mo as my husband isn't home til later this evening. I'm still trying to get my head around thinking that it isn't the puppy thats the cause of the problem - once I can do that I think i will be getting somewhere

Thanks for all the thoughts and messages of support from everyone
 

Lyn Scillitoe

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#51
I would like all of yours advice as dog owners. I have not improved since I first started this post. I have notslept for 5 days and have seen the doctor who is referring me to the Community Mental Health Team for counselling. She has aso put me on diazepam to sedate me. Even know I probably know that it is unlikely that the dog is the underlying cause I find it hard to disassociate one from the other. It feels to me that if I were to return him to the breeder it might help me to recover. What are all your feelings on this? Should I return him or keep him and see it through? Every time I think about him I have a panic attack and start crying - should he go back. Help please.
 
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#52
Lyn Scillitoe said:
I would like all of yours advice as dog owners. I have not improved since I first started this post. I have notslept for 5 days and have seen the doctor who is referring me to the Community Mental Health Team for counselling. She has aso put me on diazepam to sedate me. Even know I probably know that it is unlikely that the dog is the underlying cause I find it hard to disassociate one from the other. It feels to me that if I were to return him to the breeder it might help me to recover. What are all your feelings on this? Should I return him or keep him and see it through? Every time I think about him I have a panic attack and start crying - should he go back. Help please.

No-one can make this decision for you :(
You have to do what you feel is right for you and your family.
If that means that the dog has to go back to the Breeder then at least you know that you have tried.
I know that you will make the best decision for you and yours, but you have to make it with them :)

Just so that you know what i would do if it were me..........I would explain everything again to the children and i would return him to the Breeder.
The well-being of me and my family would come 1st.
But the is only my opinion as i say.
 

Giny

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#53
Bailey+Ralph said:
The well-being of me and my family would come 1st.
Though my first advice to you was try to work through the problem with the pup in your home I have to admit I agree with this quote. Yes your kids will be saddened with having the give up the pup but their sadness would be much greater seeing their mommy in the state you are in. Sitting down and having a good family discussion of the problem would be a great idea. I know you said your kids are young but it's amazing how much they grasp things at such a young age. Your health is what's most important and your kiddos need their healthy mom.
 
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#54
Giny said:
Though my first advice to you was try to work through the problem with the pup in your home I have to admit I agree with this quote. Yes your kids will be saddened with having the give up the pup but their sadness would be much greater seeing their mommy in the state you are in. Sitting down and having a good family discussion of the problem would be a great idea. I know you said your kids are young but it's amazing how much they grasp things at such a young age. Your health is what's most important and your kiddos need their healthy mom.
Exactly.

Lyn, when i 1st joined this Forum i had just bought home another dog (Hence my user name) and he was lovely 8 weeks old.
We all thought he was great, however Bailey didn't want him here and kept hurting him.
It was getting so bad that i didn't know what to do, one of the main reasons i was stuck was because i knew that the children would be upset if Ralph had to leave us.

Now i know that this is entirely a different situation, but i explained to my children (10,8 and 4) the reason why Ralph couldn't stay here with us, and although they were upset, they accepted that Ralph going back to the Breeder was for the best.

Just telling you this so that you know that children understand (even at 4 years old) more than we could ever imagine :)
 
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#56
Lyn Scillitoe said:
Do you still have Ralph or did he go back permanently?
He went back permantly.
For the best for both the dogs b/c they would have had to be kept apart.
It was a very hard decision to make, but i know that it was the right one :)
 
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#58
Lyn Scillitoe said:
Its so hard to know what to do for the best.....i still have a lot more thinking to do i guess
The thing is you must know deep down what is the best thing to do (as i did) it is the doing it that is the hardest bit.
 

Lyn Scillitoe

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#59
I talked to the breeder and she would be happy to have him back but thinks I will regret it - and she may be right. My friend thinks that if I remove him from the situation it just leaves me open to the same thing happening again with something else (ANYTHING else) and that I need to confront my demons......
 
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#60
I think maybe your friend is on the right track, Lyn. Take advantage of the time you have with your counseling sessions - find out what's at the root of this so you won't have to go through it again and again . . . and maybe one day you will look down at Rogan the Rogue and instead of seeing a trigger for your episode of despair you will be able to look at him with new eyes and see a loving creature who helped lead you through the darkness at the end of his leash.
 
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