I can;t stop crying

MomOf7

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#21
Jack russels can be a hand full
Are you crating the pup? Do you have a safe area for the pup to play in?
Have you tried taking a short brisk walk when really stressed?
Endorphins help with depression.

Having a pup is much like having a little infant/toddler all in the same package.
There will be times where you feel like you just cant get over that hump and pass on to where it is easier. With consistant training you will. Puppies are not easy to raise but can be big fun!
 

Lyn Scillitoe

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#22
I've been on prescribed prozac for over 10 years now - tried many, many times to come off but ended up in a black pit of despair each time. Had conunselling at the beginning which helped. I had actually recently got to a pretty good point in my life when I felt like I could try reducing my meds again so it seemed like now was as good a time as any to get a pup......
I do lots of exercise and been going to yoga for about 4 weeks - this sudden turn about only happened the day the puppy came home....
 

Lyn Scillitoe

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#23
We are crating him and he's doing really well with it - doesn't pee in it after the first night and he seems to like being in it. Like I said, its not the pup thats the problem its the owner!!
It would appear that the onyl way through this is to face my fears and deal with them isn't it - if I give in and send him back the problem will still be there I guess - it just might bury itself until the next time (whatever the next trigger will be,,.,)
 

KellyB

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#24
First of all, I just want to say that I'm so sorry you're feeling so badly right now. I myself have not suffered from depression, but both my mother and mother in law have, so I have an idea of what you're going through.

What I want to add to this is that, although you're feeling down right now, remember all the unconditional love a puppy and/or dog can give. Maybe instead of focusing your attention on whether or not you can do this, focus on simply having a strong loving and fun bond with the dog. Take puppy for a walk. Play with puppy. Watch puppy take a nap. Instead of being overwhelmed with the feeling of responsibility, you might feel more enjoyment from these kinds of things.

If I were you, I would give it a bit more time. I agree with the others who have concern that the puppy be able to get a good home if you decide to give it up, but I think, if you look at the positive and fun aspects of puppy ownership instead of the looming and sometimes overwhelming responsibility you might start to feel a little better.

Will the puppy (his name is Rogan right?) sit in your lap at all? That always make me feel better when Kovi curls up in my lap and goes to sleep. I bet he would enjoy that because he can sense that you're feeling sad and I would be willing to bet anything that he instinctively wants to help you feel better, dogs have a real power for that kind of thing.

Well I hope you're feeling better soon. Please take care!
 

Lyn Scillitoe

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#25
Thanks Kelly - you talk a lot of sense. Rogan saw me crying earlier today and climbed on to my lap for a cuddle which was nice. The kids have seen me crying and are being really good but are anxious for me to reassure them that I won't be sending him back. I think this is something deeper manifesting itself as a reaction to the puppy and I hope that it will pass but only time will tel.....
 
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#26
This will all just take time. Personally I don't think you should have even bought the thing if you knew that last time you got a dog and, for no apparent reason, you started panicking. Just tell yourself next time you have an attack, that the dog hasn't done anything. I think you are displacing the stress you feel from your day to day life onto the dog as a form of trying to deal with it. Even though you know that the dog has done nothing it is a subconscious thing. You will do fine with a little time and support from the family. You do not have to love the dog right away. These things take time. Go at your own pace. Most new mothers don't "love" their children right after they are born. This is nothing differant. Get to know each other on your own terms and time frame.
 

Lyn Scillitoe

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#27
I have thought the same thing - maybe I shouldn't have gone into this knowing what happened last time, however, we prepared really well this time, I have done so much reading, I have bought books, sought advice, called the vets etc all before buying him and not a panicky thought crossed my mind. It didn't hit me until the morning on the day after we brought him home and its all snowballed from there.
 

Lyn Scillitoe

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#28
My Dad has just hit the nail on the head - he reckons its not the actual dog its the feeling of 'oh I've taken on one more thing and its just too much' coupled with my previous tendencies towards depression its just knocked me off balance. Any tips?
 
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#29
Now we sound as though we are getting somewhere.

Change is a big thing for someone that suffers from Depression.
I think that the best thing you could do is spend as much time with the dog as you can "Bonding", try to relax a little.

Take each day as it comes, give it a week or two and hopefully you will look back and wonder what you were so anxious about :)
 

MomOf7

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#30
I have and still do suffer from depression. I was on 100mg of Zoloft daily. I have quit taking them since this past winter we couldnt afford insurance on us anymore. The meds are more than I want to pay for. I have been coping ok. Some days better than others.
I get a motherly feeling with pups/dogs. I love cuddling and playing. I do that even more when I have been extra grumpy with them. It helps me...not sure about them?

This is what I do when I am extra upset......
I take a time out. I will go to the computer and play a game or come here. Go next door and play a game of cards. Take deep breaths slowly. Sometimes I even lock my door so no one can come in. I know that me being upset isnt doing anyone any good. I try to do something different. Distracting myself in fits of emotions helps me. I have even gone as far as going into the bathroom and force myself to make funny faces in the mirror. Sounds wierd but it helps.

Try this........
Make a list of 10 things you like to do that dont take much time.
Make a list of 10 things that makes you feel at peace whether its a certain place or a certain person.
Ok When you are feeling upset choose one of these 20 things to help you get out of the moment. This will allow you time to think about the situation and be more reasonable with yourself and others.

This is a exercise I learned in counseling that I still use to this day and if you practice doing this it will help:)
 
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#31
Well I think you should realize first and foremost that,as you said, your family has been taking up the job of helping with the dog so this isn't something that YOU have to deal with on your own. You need to come to term with the fact that it is not something that you will be taking care of by yourself 100% of the time. Now that doesn't mean it is time to rely on the kids for everything because, well, kids are kids and they aren't going to be on the ball all the time. You are not going to have to go through this alone and once he finds a place in your heart you will completely forget about this panic you are going through now.
 

Lyn Scillitoe

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#32
Thank you for that - I think you have it spot on. I have just talked to my kids about it all and explained to them how I have been feeling. I have reassured them that I won't be taking him back and that I will learn to fit him into our lives. They have done their very bet to understand (in fact the eldest two actually do) and have told me to try to think of him as THEIR dog not mine so that maybe I won't feel quite so overwhelmed by it all (if only I had half their sense eh?)
I feel better for talking to them about it now and they have promised that if I'm really knackered sometimes at the weekend they will make sure they play with him so I can stay in bed for an hour. Fingers crossed that we have reached the bottom now and are starting the climb up the other side!!
 

Lyn Scillitoe

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#33
Just read the posts from Bailey + Raplh and Momof7 - thank you both and I will certainly try the tips you have suggested.
I am overwhelmed by all the support I have been given by all of you people who I have never met and most of whom are on the other side of the world.
Momof7 I sympathise with your depression and feel for you having to give up your meds when you feel that you could probably still do with them. Have you tried St Johns Wort (get in health food stores) it s supposed to be 'natures prozac'.
I will keep you all updated on my progress and hopefully you are all proud of the help you have given me so far- I am soooo grateful
 
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#34
you'll do fine, and hell, just kinda thought of this, maybe the problem was in the fact that you were so upset that your kids would be upset if you had to take him back if things didn't work out that somewhere in the back of your mind that emotional turbulance triggered the panic. Now that you have set things straight and you and the kids are on the same page maybe you'll see better days!!!! Depresion is a bitch, but so is missing out on all the fun times you and your family will have with your new loved one. GOOD LUCK!!!!
 

Dizzy

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#37
Lyn - Hi!

You are NOT ALONE.

When I first got Bodhi, who I was well prepared for I cried and cried!

I was SO stressed, I thought I had made a mistake. I thought, maybe, I picked the wrong puppy!!!

That made me not only feel sad but GUILTY.

You can search on here for my puppy stress threads! If they still exist...

Bodhi is now 9 months old. And I couldn't have asked for a better dog.

They get BETTER week by week. It takes awhile for you to bond with your puppy, and a while to get to understand there routines, their body language and habits - but you DO learn.

I PROMISE you will feel different eventually - he will become part of the family before you know it.

My only advice is PATIENCE. Never scold or shout.

However STRESSED!! I got, I never shouted or looked threatening, and what I put in, I have reaped the rewards!!

If you ever need to vent - feel free - been there, done that ;)
 

bubbatd

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#38
Glad things are better !!! Now enjoy this forum with fun posts !!! Go Doodle !!
 
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#39
Lyn I can truly see the day coming when you post a message here about the great day you and your family had with the puppy. :) These sweet creatures have a way of getting into your heart and being a wonderful source of comfort. Although not as bad or as long as you have suffered with depression I did battle that demon myself after the loss of my husband. With the combination of meds for a short term and the fantastic snuggling with my furpals as well as learning again to enjoy a laugh at their antics helped bring me back and wanting to enjoy each day. Although I am no longer on meds there are still days when I get low and believe me Farley & Chloe have been an invaluable source of comfort at those times. Dogs can be very in tune with us and in a way be a form of therapy. I can envision this pup, who seems to be the trigger of your anxiety now, becoming your source of comfort and peace in the future. Warm noses, soft fur and the unselfish love of a dog for us can do wonders.:)
 

Lyn Scillitoe

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#40
Day 3 and things are no better, have spoken with my doctor and it appears that getting Rogan has just triggered something that has set off an episode of depression/anxiety. She is referring me for some counselling. Talked to my friend who said that it would be pointless sending pup back because things will never be the same as they were before - I would still have to deal with all of the feelings that this has triggered and add to that the guilt I would have about the kids. I guess there is an inevitability about how I am feeling - maybe if it hadn't been the dog it would have been something else. There appears to be no way back and I just have to work through it now but I still can't stop crying......
 
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