Decoding breed descriptions

[casablanca1]

What the standard says v. what the standard really means:

1) Needs lots of socialization
Frankly, it'd be easier to own and handle a tiger

2) Highly intelligent
Untrainable but will steal your car

3) Loves his family
Dangerous with everyone by you, your wife and maybe your kids

4) Wary of strangers; can be aloof with strangers
Eats everyone but his own nuclear family

5) Dominant toward other dogs
Believes other members of his species are prey animals

6) Friendly
Unrelentingly obnoxious

7) Alert
Paces

8) Responsive
Occasionally deigns to listen to your pleas for obedience

9) Courageous
Will always attempt to attack other dogs, no matter how small

10) Instinctively protective
Biter

11) Highly territorial
Eats paperboys, mailmen, meter readers, and other pedestrians who pass 'his' territory.

12) calm and observant
Dominant

13) bright inquiring expression
Schemer

14) hardy and active
Needs to hike the Apalachian Trail twice a day

15) tenacious
Bites and hangs on

16) sensitive
Sulks

17) rollicking personality
Nuts

18) fearless
Stupid

And then there are the AKC breeds that have no personality/temperment descriptions included. Among these are the Greyhound and the Yorkshire Terrier. The Yorkie people are clearly covering up their breed's personality disorder, but I think the Greyhound people are just being honest - greyhounds have no discernable personality.

I am, of course, just joking.

 

[Renee750il]

ROFL!

One of my favorite descriptions of a dog was in an adoption newsletter. It was a handsome harlequin Great Dane named Hobbes with a very somber expression. Under the photo, after a short bit about how much Hobbes loved people and what a quiet, well-mannered gentleman he was, were the words: "Hobbes wants to be your only dog."

 

[oriondw]

lol, some of those are spot on.

But some of them are very wrong and offensive


Good laugh nontheless

 

[Zoom]

LMAO!

"Untrainable, but will steal your car." That's a Border Collie right there. I love it!

 

[oriondw]

1) Needs lots of socialization
Frankly, it'd be easier to own and handle a tiger

2) Highly intelligent
Untrainable but will steal your car

3) Loves his family
Dangerous with everyone by you, your wife and maybe your kids

4) Wary of strangers; can be aloof with strangers
Eats everyone but his own nuclear family

5) Dominant toward other dogs
Believes other members of his species are prey animals


These are the best because I can soooo relate to them

 

[oriondw]

Casa, did you write that yourself?

I wonder if I could post that on my website as a humor thing

 

[casablanca1]

Oriondw, yes, I wrote it and you can post it on your website. Just credit them to Casa, and I'll be happy. I admit, the first five were written with the larger, more, shall we say, assertive breeds in mind. The rest were a mix of breeds, including my own beloved Beardies (#13 & 14) and the Irish Setter (#17).


"Hobbes wants to be your only dog."

ie, "...if his wishes are ignored, he'll solve the problem himself." Classic. The dog world has a special talent for bull.

 

[tessa_s212]

I am, of course, just joking.

Whew! Am I ever glad I saw that at the bottom! Lol! I was seriously going to bring out my gigantic, sturdy soap box! (I really need a big and sturdy one.. when I get a stomping and a preaching...it comes in handy! Lol)