Moving across country

Anyone done it?

Okay, for a little bit of a backstory, I feel like I'm at such an awkward point in my life.

I am 23. That sounds so... old to me. Like I should be a lot further along in my life than I really am, lol. Sometimes I still feel like I'm 18/19.

I am just kind of in a rut I guess. I'm still living at home, which I don't really mind so much -- we're all fairly close and get along for the most part etc. But I feel like I SHOULD be in my own place by now and a bit more started in my OWN life and I'm just... not there yet like at all. I'm still very much dependent on them for a lot of things. I've always been so concerned with making everyone else happy - like my young siblings. I'm very close to them (halfbrother, 10yrs, dads son and halfsister, 6yrs, moms daughter). I pretty much split my time equally between houses (45 mins away from each other). And after my 5 year old brother died in 2006, I kind of lost a good 2yrs of my life as it was. But my dad is not in a very happy marriage, my mom and stepdad are about to move anyway to a new house in March, so lots of changes going on. I've always been so invested in their problems and their lives, that's it's been hard to establish my own.

So my good friend who I've known since I was 4 years old and we grew up on the same street together is somewhat in a similar predicament as me. Now she's explored a lot more than I have - she left for college at 18, did the whole dorm room thing, then she studied abroad in Italy for 3 months. But with her college degree, she's still stuck here with a dead end job she doesn't like, and just wanting to spread her wings too.

I haven't finished college. I'm close to an Associates Degree, but I've always been so blah about school, and unmotivated, and not sure which path to take, taken time off, etc. School has never been a 'thing' and I don't wanna continue just going... just to go. I also have a PERFECT opportunity right in front of my face - I run a nonprofit organization in honor of my brother, and we're pretty established already. In the past, it's mostly been a 'hobby' and a nice thing to do for the community but we're just now getting to a REALLY good point. We got a law passed in our state, we've had some very successful events (celeb golf tournament/poker) and a new one coming up in May, a celebrity softball event. I've never taken a salary before but it's getting to the point where I'm putting in a LOT of hours and it's perfectly legal to take a salary working for a nonprofit (we have an accountant, etc). My best friend and I would love to just blow this thing up and make it take off and be able to pay ourselves. We realize when we first move we're going to have to find some kind of work, just to get on our feet. She's going to waitress, and I was going to find some kind of doggie daycare/boarding type place.

Oh, and we're wanting to move to California from Maryland, so clear across the country. We're looking in San Diego area. I have one friend out there who is a comedian and is currently hosting a TV show on CMT. I have a few small connections. But I feel like CA is a great place for my foundation too.

Jackson would obviously be coming with me. The main issue I see running into is that... I'm so used to being able to just drive him to my dads house, if I'm going out of town for a night or two, etc. I don't mind flying with him if need be, he's well behaved in public and used to traveling, but it's obviously a HUGE change.

My main thing is... this should be the time of my life! I am capable of getting up and going anywhere, moving anywhere, doing anything I want to do... and I just don't wanna get "stuck" and then look back 20 years from now and regret not doing more with my life. My thoughts are: "move there for a year. It's just a year, Brittany. You can always move back". Right... right?? LOL...

I don't know, tell me I'm crazy, or tell me I should do this. I really think it would be overall a good experience for me. What is the worst that could happen, I guess? Am I just being naive?

I did it, and have no regrets. I moved to Minnesota from Pennsylvania without a job, not much saved up, and a room I couldn't really afford even when I got a job. There were tough times, but it eventually got figured out. I'm still in debt from moving here, but eventually I'll probably pay that off I knew Ryan, of course, and Megan (sort of, I'd met her once or twice) and I also only kind-of knew the guy I moved in with. There were definitely moments of WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?! But I'm certainly glad I took the leap. I'm still here, so I got that going for me, which is nice

Almost everyone I know who left my hometown ended up back within a year. And like them, worst case Ontario, you end up back in Maryland. Big whoop

I say do it!

I'm somewhat sort of in the same position as you. I'm almost 26 though. I have two opportunities this summer that I REALLY want to take. I can either go spend the summer in Hawaii and beach bum it, or I can go to Colorado and work for the summer and spend time with Zoom and Nolu and Caitlin. The CO issue is a place to stay, the Hawaii issue is a job/income.

I want to do both, but the Hawaii summer has a time limit on it. My cousins husband is only going to be stationed there for so long, so if I don't do it this summer, I may never get the chance to do it.

It would mean taking time off of school (which I DO LOVE my automotive classes) which would mean spending next summer in school instead, but I kind of feel like, if not now, when? No one is every fully prepared for anything. Ready for something feels like a misnomer I think.

The other issue is I take daily medications, and in Hawaii those may be hard to get, but living on base I think that I would be okay, as long as all my paperwork/insurance is in order.

Anyway, I'm just thinking out loud here, and hopefully some of this helps you.

I did it and I'm hitting the undo button. I miss home horribly, even though I'm not terribly attached to my mother or brother. I left my entire business behind, my other pets, my dad, my friends, the little town I've lived in my whole life.

Had I been coming here under difference circumstances (had some kind of job lined up and living on my own, instead of with my SO's grandmother, uncle, and tenant), it may have worked out better. If our personalities didn't clash so horribly, it may have worked out better.

I'm also 18 and have Rick, two dogs (one of whom is... special needs), and two cats to think about, it would have been different if it was just me and Em.

That being said, it was definitely a life experience I needed. Now, whenever I go to move out again (will be staying in CT, lol), I have a much better idea of what to expect.

I say do it. See where it takes you. If you end up moving back, well, then you can say you tried and take valuable knowledge from the experience.

Additionally, Ryan and I have talked about moving after I graduate. I would love to! Sign me up! I don't even really care WHERE it is (though CO has been top of the list), I love the idea of moving where I don't know many people and have no connections. Seeing new places and experiencing new cultures. Heck yeah! Sure, I'd miss my friends, but that's why Jesus invented airplanes!

Ryan goes back and forth on it. One week he will be all for it, the next he's coming up with reasons why we should stay here.

So time will tell. I have the option of getting placed out of state for my last semester of class, where I'm in a lab 40 hours a week. I think that would be the perfect opportunity. But we'll see how Ryan feels about the situation when I have to start getting together the information to be placed.

I feel like some people have the type of personality for it, and some don't.

Remember when we exchanged phone numbers and I went "oh, wait, I already have yours!" That was awkward... ahahaha.

Also, NEVER LEAVE! EVER! Okay?!

Bahahahhaha.

Sorry, have nothing to contribute to this thread other than DO IT. I finish university this year and I'm seriously looking at moving to Columbus, Ohio when I'm done (I'm a dual citizen so it works, haha). Columbus because most of my family lives in Ohio (father is from Ohio), so it wouldn't be like moving somewhere totally random where I didn't know anybody .. not so sure I could handle that! Even when I lived in England I had family and friends already there. But it sounds like you're going with a really good friend, and that you already know some people out in California .. so I say go for it! I think it could be a really great experience.

Haha, thanks!

The MAIN thing that's mostly held me back too is that I didn't want to just... move alone. So now that I have a friend who is totally gun-ho about this and REALLY is serious, it makes me feel more like... I need to get my butt in gear.

I think I'm mostly worried about my young siblings. I'm more of a 'parent-like' figure to them, or an aunt, than... just an older sister. They would really miss me a lot, and I would miss them.

And I think I'm most worried about getting out there, starting a new life, and then just becoming disconnected from them... which I DON'T want at all. But I need to stop thinking about others for a minute and think of myself and what *I* want to do.

And then I think about, well, maybe I should start small. Look for an apartment HERE first and see how that goes, before just moving across the country, ya know? I've never lived on my "own" before without family that is.

I say do it. Josh and I moved to CO for just under a year, living with some friends and then in a popup camper at a campground.

Even if after a year you decide you don't want to be there forever, you still gain valuable life experience and independence. It takes you to a place you never thought you could go and you really just take a leap of faith.

Btw, dogs adapt super well. I'm sure Jax will do just fine.

Crunch numbers, make sure you can make a livable income. San Diego's not cheap! Most of my friends from high school who live down there share a house with 3 or 4 people to make the bills work out (and these are people with salaried jobs).

That being said, I am all for change and experiencing something new. I am so glad I moved across the country for college (even if I desperately wish I were still in California!!) I learned so much about myself by moving away.

I am, however, thankful that I did not go from living at home to living on my own in a completely new place all at once. I had this lovely transition period of living on a college campus where someone else had food cooked for me and I only had to manage 1 bill instead of 17 different utilities. I'm not sure I would have fared so well to go cold turkey from no "real" responsibilities to having to figure out everything all at once.

:rofl1:
You could just come with us!

I was hoping someone would catch that, lol.

Go big or stay at home....or something like that.
Seriously, you never want to play wish I woulda, yanno?

We moved from Ohio to NY. Both of us are very close to our families and, after nearly 3 years here, we are ready to be closer. The 10 hr drive is long; it means taking 2 days off work to drive there and drive back.

I think it sounds like a great opportunity to break out, do your own thing for a while, be your own person, and see where life takes you. We spend a lot of our time going, "oh, would this make a great story afterwards?" and then doing that. Probably not the best way to go about life planning, but...yeah.

I like Colorado. I spent many summers there.

Well there ya go. And Tim can visit on weekends or something, cause I don't think he's going to be leaving his family.

Can't we just like, pack him in a suitcase or something?! Taking along an unwilling traveler would be SO MUCH MORE FUN! :rofl1:

This is my ONLY concern with that. I moved out and moved back in with my parents. Living on your own in an expensive area is HARD.

Duct tape and a trunk with the e-handle painted over. Problem solved.

It's a good thing I love him. Or something like that. I WANT him to come along, I don't want to leave him behind!

Exactly. It's not kidnapping, it's LOVE!

*Postergirl for healthy relationships right here.

Anything is okay if done for the sake of love, right?

This is honestly my biggest worry. I mean, MD is very expensive in itself. BUT, I wouldn't be nearly 3000 miles away from my family, you know? I start to think, hmmm, well maybe I should find a cute place around here first to see ... what it's even like. To have all the added costs and responsibilities. But then I wouldn't really have a friend to move with, because she definitely doesn't want to stay around here, and then I feel like, well what am I going to do... by myself? LOL, probably end up visiting between my parents houses again, while still paying for my own place If this option falls through with me, she has another opportunity in Hawaii she may want to take. So it's almost a 'now or never' type deal.

Personally, I think I'd be a LITTLE bit more comfortable with the idea of moving to SC or NC. I also have family in both states (well, one set of non-blood related 'grandparents' let's call them in each state), I like both states (but still like West coast weather better) AND it's much easier to drive to MD from SC or NC then flying from CA. I just kind of know me, and I have a feeling if I'm in CA, I just won't make it home as much as I'd ideally like to (flying with a dog, and just flying in general, etc). But yeah she's not really interested in either of those states.