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#1
12-09-2009, 11:20 PM
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 best friend question? When you no longer have much contact or a connection with them do you tell them you want to drop the best friend title or do you just drift apart and go on with life. I have a best friend whos mother doesnt like me much over some fasle accusations and has said some nasty things about me. Which doesnt bother me one bit because she is a nasty person to begin with who judges everyone and has a holier than you attitude, but im not welcomed in their household and my friend basically has to sneak to hang out with me. So during all this im becoming much closer to my goodsons mother. We hang out alot and I talk alot more to her. It feels odd because im not even bothering getting a christmas present for my best friend yet I am for my godsons mother. I really dont feel th best friend vibe with her anymore and she doesnt even stick up with her mother and just lets her mother think the way she does about me and the things she says about me. Heck she doesnt stick up for her boyfriend when her mother says stuff about him. So basically her mother is ruining the relationship between me and her, any thoughts? Sorry its one big paragraph im on my phone.
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#2
12-09-2009, 11:27 PM
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| just drop them and go on with life. It does not sound to me like she is really trying anyways, and if you are feeling more of a connection with this other person, that is life. 
__________________ Rosey - GSD mix | Rascal - light sable ferret | Renegade - chocolate sable ferret | Harley - dark sable ferret | Porom - DEW ferret Waiting at the bridge Palom - sable ferret (02/02/2010) Rogue - DEW ferret (27/05/2010)  |
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#3
12-09-2009, 11:34 PM
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| No, you don't tell somebody "You aren't my best friend anymore." My best friend in high school and I pretty much never talk anymore. We are friends on Facebook and occasionally we comment on each other's status or photos or something... but we grew apart because we went to different colleges and never saw each other. It's odd because we were SO similar in high school people thought we were sisters. Now I don't think we have much in common at all. I never told her "I don't think we're best friends anymore." I think she knows, LOL. ETA: Sorry about the relationship with your friend being ruined by her mom though... I can tell from your post that it does hurt you that your friend doesn't stick up for you. =< It's good that you have somebody else that you can share that best friend bond with again though!
__________________  Auggie - The Flash NAJ OJP NAP RN CGC Oh My Auggie! The Auggie Bloggie | JUMP JUMP AUGGIE |
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#4
12-10-2009, 12:07 AM
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| It doesn't sound like a case where you're just drifting apart because you're at different places in your life - you're drifting apart because of her mother and the fact that she's not sticking up for you when she should or something, is that right? If you wanted to bring it up to her to let her know that she let you down and you don't really want to hang out with her anymore, then tell her. Or if you want to stay friends with her, then just let it go.
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#6
12-10-2009, 05:49 AM
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| Just keep trucking on. I don't think you need a decrowning ceremony though.
__________________ "Dogs are our link to paradise. They do not know jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing wasn't boring, it was peace."  Bodhi is the opposite of ignorance, the insight into reality which destroys mental afflictions and brings peace.  |
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#7
12-10-2009, 10:08 AM
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| I dont put much stock in titles really... I have a few close friends who I consider just that "close friends"... there are three of us that get together all the time, I wouldnt name one of them my "best friend". If there was a specific problem I was having with any one of my friends I would try and talk to them about it, in hopes that it could be fixed. Otherwise, I would just slowly have less contact with them until we had drifted apart. But no I dont think you walk up to someone and say "We have to drop the B from BFF". |
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#8
12-10-2009, 10:38 AM
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| after middleschool i stoped using the "best frined" title all together...my best firneds are my dogs... and honestly it annoys me when my one friend (whos 30!) insists shes my BEST frined... 1: we never see eachother 2: we talk mabe once a month online 3: your 30, you dont need a title like "best friend"...i dunno naming someone the "best" freind always seemed a little young to me...i think it was more the thought of being better than someone else simply because im a good frined that bothered me... personally ive always just drifted from old frineds as the connections dropped.
__________________  I wonder if other dogs think Cresties are members of some weird religious cult? Adventures In Cluck Clucks, watch them grow @ http://suburbancluckclucks.blogspot.com Hand Made Fleece Blankets |
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#9
12-10-2009, 10:48 AM
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| I don't label just any one of my friends my "best friend" my "second best friend" etc. I see it as pretty juvenile. The people who are my friends, they know they are my friends, and how close they are. There is no need for a title, just a strong friendship. IF you drift apart, no title is needed to change, no decrowning event as someone else said. You just go on. The only person I call my absolute 'best friend' is my husband, particularly when I say "I married my best friend." |
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#10
12-10-2009, 06:13 PM
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| I think the titles are kind of meaningless because most people go through many "best friends" in their lifetime. If you feel like you're starting to drift away from this friend, you don't need to announce the fact that you're no longer very close.
__________________ Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act.  |
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