steve suddenly scared of me (long)

[elegy]

wednesday night at agility class, steve suddenly became afraid of me. i have no idea what happened. i didn't correct him, didn't step on him, didn't whack him in the head with a clicker, nothing. he was happy happy happy and then he was shrinking away from me, wouldn't take treats from my hand, wouldn't come to me. if i approached him, he'd shrink away, go lay down at the wall, head down tail down eyes down.

i took him outside and walked him around, because i was so confused and bewildered. i was afraid he was hurt or sick or something but he seemed fine.

he was on leash when it all started, but then i took the leash off to see if it was a leash-related issue.

now, he'd still work with me happily- head up, loose, enthusiastic. as long as i didn't get near him. he'd take direction around the jump standards we were doing crosses around, do his crosses wonderfully and correctly as long as i stayed back. he would come in to me for a tug, but continued to not take food from my hand. he'd take it if i threw it to him. he'd go to other people, just not to me. his restrained recalls were fantastic, but there was a tug toy involved.

the trainer blew me off, told me he didn't want to be caught because that ends the fun and i am expletive expletive upset about that. that is NOT what was going on, not even a tiny little bit and i am debating what to do about that facet of things, whether i'm going back to this class or not, whether i'm going to contact the agility director about it or not. i'm that angry.

anyway, an hour or so after we got home from class, he decided i was ok again. thursday and friday he was fine but we didn't do any significant training other than my asking for behaviors in exchange for throwing the ball.

today we had obedience class. i got there early and we did some heelwork for tug and just played together. class started, the first two exercises we did went well, and then he was afraid of me again completely out of the blue. this trainer did NOT blow me off, but she didn't really have any good solutions. she had me sit on the floor and then lay down on the floor and see if he'd come to me that way, and he did initially investigate my weirdness but still didn't want to be touched and wouldn't take treats. he totally whored himself out to her, of course.

i finally got him back through the tug and he worked a little bit, then got squirrelly again. i had him off leash because we were working recalls, and he ran away from me, was running circles around me. at that point i had to grab him by the collar because if he'd run out of the ring or into another ring, something bad could have happened to him. that of course upset him again.

i was in tears at that point. the trainer had me sit and massage him, but i bailed, went for a long walk with him, sat outside as far from the club building as i could and massaged him. after class i cried on the trainer's shoulder (yes, literally. god i'm such a girl sometimes.) and she was really supportive and encouraging, but she didn't have any great ideas or solutions.

so, guys? ideas? sorry this is so long. i've been crying off an on about it all freaking day. i feel like i'm ruining him. he's 13 months old (and intact), if that matters. could this be some kind of fear period thing? i love him so much, and the idea that i've done something that makes him afraid of me just breaks my freaking heart.

[Doberluv]

Well, it is really hard to pin point what might be the cause of this. Something completely unrelated to you might have worried, scared or even hurt him. Maybe he stepped on something sharp. Who knows? But since you were right there, maybe he associated you with whatever happened. Or...maybe nothing happened in particular. Maybe he's over stimulated and just needs a break. If he were my dog, I'd take a break from any training for 2-3 weeks and just hang out together...no demands, no tricks, no nothin'. Take walks if he likes walks, go for a hike in the woods now and then. But mostly just relax and watch movies together. Try not to take this personally. He loves you, but something is going on in his head....or maybe he has some physical problem...a health thing that you haven't discovered. I doubt it, but it's a remote possibility. Just try to relax and not worry about what went on that night because dwelling on it will increase your anxiety and may rub off on him.

[BostonBanker]

Ugh, I'm sorry. I know from experience how gut-wrenching that is. I always could pinpoint what caused it with Meg (not that it was ever intentional), but I'm not sure that makes it any easier.

I'm not sure how the advice would transfer, since Meg would just shut down totally (not just in relation to me), but the best advice I got here (from Doberluv, I think) was to reward confidence. Any bit of anything braver I saw - her tail coming up a micro-centimeter from fully pinned, the ears moving forward a bit, seeking out eye contact, etc - was worthy of reward. I had to go all out on treats for the worst times we had - McDonald's double cheeseburgers - or she wouldn't take the food from me. Perhaps you could try and adapt that somehow to what you are dealing with?

And being such a girl is just fine. I called my friend bawling during one of Meg's terrified incidences when she was just completely shut off and wouldn't get out of the car for several hours. It means you love him and care about this that much.

[bubbatd]

I'd let him take a break for a while . No clue , but I wouldn't push him

[dogsarebetter]

yeah, thats what I would do. Let him have a break and just hang out.

I am sorry you are going through this.

[Brattina88]

Just a random thought - but maybe he isn't feeling to well? Maybe a vet visit is in order?

Let us know, please! I think its impossible to say without seeing for ourselves.

[Lizmo]

You've gotten the same advice from everyone, it seems.

[Dekka]

Could he be getting intermittent pain.. like needed a chiro visit? So sometimes things hurt and he is associating it with your proximity?

[Laurelin]

I agree with the vet. I would take him in just to be sure, dogs can react in strange ways when they're injured or sick.

If that checks out clear then I too would lay off all classes for a while and see that happens.

ETA: Beau's pinched a nerve a couple times and he's reacted really weird to it. Once he would scream at the top of his lungs if you can near him. The other time he was just very off.

[adojrts]

I agree, first a visit to the vets and chiro to rule out a health issue. Second take a break and if you let yourself be upset about this it could get worse.
He could have bitten his tongue, something as simple as that and the great thing about dogs is they do get over it if we can keep control on our own emotions.

Btw, you haven't ruined your dog, sometimes these things happen and we never know why but it often is just a bump in the road. It may seem huge at this point, but relax and remove the pressure from him and you..........everything will come back and fall into place.

Good luck