My dad on dogs............

[snook]

On Dogs:

“Dogs are God’s perfect creation. Never has another
animal provided so much love and companionship to
the human race. The world would be a poorer place
with no cold wet noses or sloppy face licks from a
puppy, or an old dog for that matter.”

“Dogs don’t live as long as man for one reason only;
God has given them 100 years worth of love. They
can’t help but give all their love away too soon. If you
set down and figure it out, a dog gives exactly seven
times the love that a human does.”

“When a dog enters the world, he is a blank slate; his
owner is the one that molds his soul and personality.
Dogs differ from human children in this respect;
sometimes children from families with great parents
and upbringing just turn out bad. I have never seen a
dog that wasn’t mistreated or taught to be aggressive
turn out bad. I’m sure there are exceptions, but they
are just that, exceptions.”

“Dog’s are always glad to see you. It doesn’t matter if
you’ve been gone for 10 minutes or two weeks, when
your dog sees you, it’s glad that you’re there and
they’re with you.”

“Dog’s make the best companions; they commiserate
well and don’t judge you, even when you know ****
well you’re the one in the wrong.”

“A boy never had a better friend than a dog;
especially when his mother made her God awful
meatloaf or cow tongue sandwiches.”

“Who needs sleeping pills? Get a couple of dogs in
bed with you and you not only have a built in bed
warmer but a partner who won’t steal your blanket.
They do fart though, they’ll gag a maggot, those
fleabags will on occasion.”

“If some women cared for their children the same
way a dam cares for her pups, there would be lot less
people in prison these days. A dog pound after all is a
prison of sorts; they ended up there for lack of love,
the same way most convicts do in prison.”

“Cats are the devil and dogs are avenging angels. It
may not be true but I sure like to say it.”

“Never take a dog you want to play catch with a ball
with on a hunt. Once he gets a taste of the real thing,
he won’t chase a ball unless it’s got either gravy or
blood on it.”

“If you offer a dog a piece of food and he won’t eat it,
you’d better not eat it either. If an animal that will
eat its own vomit won’t touch a bite of the food you
offer, what does that tell you?”

“Watch a little dog try to mate with a big dog. He
never stops trying. He never stops trying because
he’s an optimist; eventually he’ll accomplish his goal,
for he never stops trying. Be like the little dog;
optimism will carry you far and you might even get
laid.”

“Dogs are creatures of habit, as long as the habit
involves food, sex, taking a crap or sleeping. I guess
you could say that humans are creatures of habit as
well.”

“When a man gets lost, he refuses to stop and ask for
directions. This male attribute infuriates the woman
travelling with the man. That’s why if you are going
to get lost, have a dog with you. They don’t care if
you’re lost or not, they are just glad to be there by
your side and know that eventually you’ll have to stop
for food.”

“When you come home from work your dog is so
excited to see you, it may tinkle all over the floor and
this makes you mad. When your mate greets you at
the door they do not become so excited that they
tinkle all over the floor and you are glad about it.
Why would you be mad at your dog about a little
tinkle on the floor? Think about it and be glad that
someone in this world thinks enough of you to
become that excited about you. That’s not to say that
you should ask your mate to **** all over the floor;
that’s just nasty.”

From the Book "Dad, Dog and Fish" by Charles Emery - Copyright 2008

[bubbatd]

Amen ! A wise man !!! Never forget that DOG is a mirror image of GOD .

[snook]

:d