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Old 07-25-2005, 05:34 PM
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Talking Dog
A man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. "This is a talking dog," he said. "And you can have him for five dollars."

The neighbour said, "Who do you think you're kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain't no such animal."

Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. "Please buy me, Sir," he pleaded. "This man is cruel. He never buys me a meal, never bathes me, never takes me for a walk. And I used to be the richest trick dog in America. I performed before kings. I was in the army and was decorated ten times."

"Hey!" said the neighbour. "He can talk. Why do you want to sell him for just five dollars?"

"Because," said the seller, "I'm getting tired of all his lies."
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Old 07-25-2005, 05:39 PM
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Dog Property Laws

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.

7. If it looks like mine, it's mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If its broken, it's yours.
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Old 07-25-2005, 06:40 PM
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lol...here is a joke:

How to Keep an Idiot Busy:
Scroll down










































How to keep an Idiot busy:
Scroll Up
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Old 07-25-2005, 06:43 PM
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LOL!I know there is not a picture there because I'm not an idiot!
That is funny, because someone could just be sitting staring at that and nothing would happen!
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Old 07-25-2005, 06:43 PM
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Here's a few:

Top 10 Blonde Inventions

1. The water-proof towel
2. Solar powered flashlight
3. Submarine screen door
4. A book on how to read
5. Inflatable dart board
6. A dictionary index
7. Ejector seat in a helicopter
8. Powdered water
9. Pedal-powered wheel chair
10. Water-proof tea bag

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Fun Things to Do in an Elevator:
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up all of you just shut UP!
3. Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.
4. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
5. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
6. Shave.
7. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?
8. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
9. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
10. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
11. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
12. Floss your teeth.
13. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.
14. Do Tai Chi exercises.
15. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: I've got new socks on!
16. Meow occassionally.
17. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
18. Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.
19. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
20. Walk on with a cooler that says human head on the side.
21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce You're one of "THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
22. Leave a box between the doors.
23. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
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Old 07-25-2005, 06:43 PM
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Or is it just scrolling up and down?Both ways are funny!
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Old 07-25-2005, 06:45 PM
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LOL!Those are funny too, keyodie!
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Old 07-25-2005, 06:48 PM
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Honestly, I think this site is a joke!http://www.scarysquirrel.org/page1.html
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  #9  
Old 07-25-2005, 06:48 PM
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Bob and Billy were two fish. They were both swimming peacefully, with the sun streaming through the water...

Suddenly, they bumped into something.

"Dam!"
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Old 07-25-2005, 06:49 PM
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Lol!!!
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