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  #1  
Old 07-04-2005, 11:42 PM
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juliefurry juliefurry is offline
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Default Letter to our pets

I got this in an email today and found it sort of amusing.



Dear pets,

When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not to switch
positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in
the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
your comfort.

Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not
necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
fullest extent possible.

I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging
out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered.

Also, I have been using the bathroom for years--canine or feline
attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!



To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who
is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

5. Dogs and cats are better than kids...they eat less, don't ask for
money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never
drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or
drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear
your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and if
they get pregnant, you can sell the children.
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Old 07-05-2005, 05:44 AM
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LOL, that is hilarious!
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  #3  
Old 07-05-2005, 04:35 PM
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I love it, especially:

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
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Old 07-05-2005, 06:48 PM
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I want that posted on my front door.
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Old 07-06-2005, 11:39 PM
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juliefurry juliefurry is offline
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I'm sure LOTS of people would like that one their front doors! I can't help but say I just LOVE your little pug puppy, Showpug! (S)He is just SO STINKIN CUTE! I'd love to get a little pug lookin puppy but my husband doesn't think their "macho" enough .
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Old 07-09-2005, 11:59 AM
poeluvr poeluvr is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by juliefurry
I'm sure LOTS of people would like that one their front doors! I can't help but say I just LOVE your little pug puppy, Showpug! (S)He is just SO STINKIN CUTE! I'd love to get a little pug lookin puppy but my husband doesn't think their "macho" enough .
i must agree precious showpug
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Old 07-10-2005, 06:29 AM
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lol, gotta love it
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Old 07-11-2005, 03:38 PM
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juliefurry juliefurry is offline
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mrose there are so many nice dogs on that website in your signature. I would LOVE to adopt one but I'm too far.
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Old 08-09-2005, 09:55 PM
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That was soo funny I loved it.Thank you for making my day better.
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  #10  
Old 08-12-2005, 09:19 PM
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OOO YEA SHHHAKE IT!!
 
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Location: Georgia
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That was so funny!!! I love the 2nd one as well!
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