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  #1  
Old 11-11-2007, 09:37 PM
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LilyoftheValley LilyoftheValley is offline
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Location: Sunny California baby!
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Default Things a horse person should NEVER say in public

The lady I board my horse at emailed this to me.. Too funny!


Do you like my breast collar?

His sheath was really dirty, but I cleaned it.

In the winter, his Ass gets really hairy.

Don't jump on him, sit down gently.

What a lovely Jackass!

She wants to breed to my stud.

There's nothing like 17 hands between you legs!

Can I pet your Ass?

He had a bad attitude, so we castrated him.

He's got a lot of stamina, you can ride him all day long.

Is she a maiden?

I wanted to breed to her stud, but he's all booked this season.

We'll be breeding tonight, want to watch?

He's really good at walking and pooping at the same time.

He didn't try to run away when we drove the nails into his feet.

He broke his leg, so they shot him.

She bites her baby if it behaves badly.

She's on a new diet, she's only eating grass.

She just got a new rack.

If he's not good, just grab his lip and twist it.

When I'm done riding him, you can have a turn.

They cut his toe off and he walks better now.

Don't worry, if he pulls her teats too hard she'll bite him.

He's much better if you ride him with a crop.

I jumped 4 feet high yesterday.

She's got a really nice, big, square butt.

What color are her gums?

The mother is black and the father is white, and the baby came out black and white.

He tries to kick me when I put my hand in his sheath.

Don't worry, it's normal for his mouth to foam.

All of her babies have been sold overseas.

I know she's going to have a baby soon because her butt is soft.

Her baby started walking about 20 minutes after birth.

Her body was covered in 4-inch long hair, but I clipped it off.

He has trouble mounting her because she's so tall.

She likes to roll in the dirt after her bath.

He has 23 kids by different mothers.

He goes outside in just a blanket.

He was about 6 months old when we branded him with an iron.

I have to use a stool to mount him.

If he's spilling his food on the ground, he might need a dentist.

I was listening to his gut sounds last night...

One testicle is visible, but I can't even feel the other one.
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Old 11-11-2007, 09:42 PM
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SarahFish SarahFish is offline
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LOL I love it! Especially the sheath one, heaps of people get completely grossed out by it, but where I work with horses (I don't own one sadly) we talk about it fine.
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That's my gorgeous Samoyed Lui, and the cat, Fluffy Bum (named after the cat in the book Bad Jelly the Witch!)



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Old 11-11-2007, 10:11 PM
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LilyoftheValley LilyoftheValley is offline
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Lol! Same here! Same with the testical thing. Horse people are just like that. If a colts testicals arent coming in right, we have no problem reaching in and feeling around. My parents and siblings get so grossed out. They always ask why "The boys hang their 'weenies' out" and I have to be constantly reminding them that 1. their boys and 2. their HORSES they do what they want with their bodies.
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I would make this day last for all time
then fill the night deep with moonshine
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Old 11-11-2007, 10:20 PM
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SarahFish SarahFish is offline
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Yup, everyone I have mentioned it to (not a lot of people) think it's disgusting, but it has to be done, so what's the problem?
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"When most of us talk to our dogs, we tend to forget they're not people." - Julia Glass
"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue." - Anonymous



That's my gorgeous Samoyed Lui, and the cat, Fluffy Bum (named after the cat in the book Bad Jelly the Witch!)



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