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  #11  
Old 11-21-2008, 02:09 PM
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TheGoldenRetriever TheGoldenRetriever is offline
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Labman, sorry your loss is still so fresh ... that's when it's the absolute hardest. Wish I could tell you it will get better "soon" ... but it won't. Wish I could tell you that you'll "get over it" ... but you won't.

With loss it's never a matter of "getting over". It's a "getting through", learning to deal with a "new normal" ... one that you would not have chosen. That will happen ... not soon, but it will. The first day you are able to think of Bear and Blue and actually smile at a particular memory ... that's the day you're just starting to get there. You don't believe it now, but it will happen.

I looked at the pictures in your avatar carefully. Bear and Blue were such beautiful dogs! They are still beautiful, they're just not with you right now. You will see them again, someday when that's meant to be. In the meantime you and Sage can get through your mutual loss together. Sage is unable to understand this loss like you can. Sage needs you right now, more than ever. Please don't say you don't think you'll have another dog when someday Sage is gone. First because anyone who is able to love an animal so very much is exactly the kind of person who should never be without one. But more importantly because today is not "someday". Sage is here now ... and needs you badly. Sage is grieving too, needing the help only you can give to get through this loss.

What an uplifting experience you and Sage had with the deer. Maybe it was that Sage was thinking it was Bear and Blue walking there... or maybe not. Maybe it was a message of sorts from Bear and Blue, letting you and Sage know they're OK where they are, ... and that they will wait for you. Maybe it was not a "lonely walk" ... but rather a message to remind you that you are not alone. I firmly believe all our lost loved ones, human and animal, do send us such messages ... but sometimes while we're still too immersed in fresh grief. Later we are better able to understand what they were trying to say.
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  #12  
Old 11-21-2008, 10:20 PM
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Those are very powerful and comforting words TheGoldenRetriever, thankyou so very much. Good to know there are good people out there that truely understand what's it's all about.

The deer gave me the sign that Blue and Bear are back with their mother(my beloved Katie) running wild and free.

My son and I were out in the yard today and heard two eagles chirping, we looked up and saw them swoop over the grave and circle once and then fly directly over us. I said to my six year old son, wow! those are the biggest and prettiest eagles I've ever seen, and he said maybe it's Blue and Bear and they are flying away....and I had already just thought the same thing..so needless to say I feel alot better today.
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  #13  
Old 11-22-2008, 10:29 AM
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(((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) for your broken heart. IT will get different not better but easier to bear in time. Then a new link will combine your past loves to the present. THat is the best way to heal, to keep your heart open when the time is right.
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  #14  
Old 11-23-2008, 07:16 PM
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Breaks my heart alright, I'm still being haunted with regrets and guilt too,Bear and Blue were almost 12 1/2 years,Blue was deaf,loosing hair,but was still eating and fairly happy.Bear had sore hips,shoulder and would have stomach problems at times,but other wise they were happy,able to go for walks and play with Sage a little.
Maybe I spared them alot more pain by making the choice to put them down,but I still can't help but feel that I should of gave them more time.
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  #15  
Old 11-23-2008, 08:45 PM
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I've had a few dogs in my life-time and they've all been good dogs,but Bear and Blue were much more than just good dogs. No words can describe their loyalness and faithfulness.
They were like a son and daughter to me...The legacy is gone.
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  #16  
Old 11-23-2008, 08:59 PM
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Jon. Stop second guessing yourself. Now. If you hadn't known it was the right thing to do for them you would never have been able to do it. You know this.
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  #17  
Old 11-23-2008, 09:34 PM
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I can't help it!!!! If I could go back I would of waited...people I've told were surprised also,and would say - - Did ya have to put them both down?

I know I shouldn't be doing this to my self,but I always do.
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  #18  
Old 11-23-2008, 10:39 PM
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I'm just wondering if I could have done more.
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  #19  
Old 11-25-2008, 04:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by labman View Post
I'm just wondering if I could have done more.
Hey Labman, everybody does that after they have to put a dog down. It's perfectly normal to second-guess yourself, because no one ever wants to make that decision. Especially when others who did not live with your dogs question your decision. They are not trying to make you feel badly ... they probably just don't know what to say. That's pretty normal too.

But you know what? Renee's right ... if it had been the wrong decision something would have stopped you. Don't torture yourself. You loved Bear and Blue their entire lives, and were strong enough to give them that final act of love when their bodies were failing and you knew they could not heal. It's tortorous for dogs when their bodies are failing and they hurt. They are unable to understand why their parts don't work like they once did ... and why they hurt all the time. What you did was a loving act ... a final gift.
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  #20  
Old 11-29-2008, 06:48 PM
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Thanks for helping me to put things back into perspective. I'm still very sad and miss them very much, but the other negative feelings are subsiding now. I'm counting my blessings and am rejoicing in what I do have and what I had shared and learned from Bear and Blue.
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"happiness is working with your dogs and seeing them hunt"
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