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Old 04-26-2005, 01:26 PM
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lilalienangel lilalienangel is offline
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Default In beloved Memory

Have you ever had a dog that you can relate to better than any human. A dog that you look at and think" If I were a dog I'd be just like her (or him.) " That is a starter for the way I felt about my Princess.
I remember the first time I saw her. I was 17 years old at the time. My roomate asked me if I wanted to go look at some wolf hybrid pups. I figured why not. She was such a tiny pup sucking on the teat of a huge white wolf (her momma). I wasn't going to get a pup but my roomie took two of them Princess and Gunther. About a month after he got these pups he decided that he needed to live with his girlfriend. She could not have dogs in her apartment so he just left them. I came home to find a note on the door and two emotionally hurt looking pups in locked in my bathroom.
At the time I already had a husky/chow and a wolf/rottwieler so I found a lady at the pet store who fell in love with Gunther. I didn't know what it was at the time but there was something about princess I just couldn't give up. So, I decided to keep her.
This was a very hard time in my life. I was 17 living on my own. I had no ID so I couldn't get a job and I had no birth certificate so I couldn't get an ID. I was completly dependant on my ex-boyfriend whom I was living with. I soon started to notice a violent trend with my Ex. Not towards me or other humans but to animals. He was the sweetest nicest guy to them intill they misbehaved. He out of ignorance of the way you should train dogs would hit them for minor things that every dog will do. I did not know any better at that time either so I felt I had no choice but to stay. This problem was only multiplied by an emotionally disturbed little boy. I came outside one day to find him kicking her. I have no idea how long he had done it because he came over quite often to "play with the dogs." So, as you can probably tell she had every right and probablilty to become vicious and none trusting towards humans. Being mean though was just not in her nature.
I remember when I started bike-training her. I would pedal very slow so her lil pup legs could keep up. Ocasionally I'd come to a complete stop so she could catch her breath. This did not make for efficient getting around but she pretty much trained herself very quickly. It wasn't long intill she kept right up with the bike even going downhill. She also learned slow, stop, left, right, sleft (slightly left), and sirright (slightly right). She was VERY smart.
Finally I was able to ditch the loser and get my own place. Unfortunaly I was not yet any wiser on how to treat animals. My only exsample was my dad's dog who was chained in the backyard up intill he died and my ex. Do not get me wrong I never maliciously beat her but I wasn't right either. Princess had 2 bad habbits; digging and chewing the crotch out of womens underware. One day when I came home I noticed that she had gotten into my drawer and chewed up the last pair of underware I owned. I was furious. I am ashamed to say it but I hit her alot. She let out a painful yelp and looked at me with pain in her eyes. It as if she was saying, "How could you do this to me? I love you." I colapsed in tears to my knees and held my dog. Even now I can not contain the tears as I write. I have never hit an animal since that day.
At that point I decided Princess needed to learn the brighter side of humans. She needed to be socialized so I started taking her to parks. I almost had a problem once. A tiny daucsand decided it did not like Princess and it want to fight. When I finally noticed this dog had already ran up to Princess teeth bared. What she did next amazed me. Rather than making that little dog a snack she started running tail wagging like crazy. (she ran very fast I clocked her at 45 MPH.) When she was far enouph ahead of the other dog she turned around and did that playful stance. Her head was low to the ground her front legs splayed out with her butt in air tail still wagging crazy like. She ended up turning it into play. This is something she did many times whenever another dog tried to fight.
When I was 19 I lost my job and once again was borderline homeless. I recieved an offer to live with my boyfriend(now my husband) and his mother. A few weeks after I moved in his mother decided to give us a weeks notice that she was moving and leaving us with 600 dollar rent plus utilities. Also she left her 2 dogs (a chow/lab and a purebred husky.) I tried my damnest to find a job but had no luck whatsoever.
When my husband proposed moving to pennsylvania I looked at it like a fresh start. I will always regret that decision.
So we started off on a cross country trip with 2 dogs a cat and everything we owned in a station wagon. That's when I noticed another unique talent Princess possesed. She would watch how you and all the cars around you were driving. If you or anyone on the road started driving badly she would start whining. She helped us avoid a wreck or two doing that. Another time my husband and I were listening to Eminem's Without You and commenting about how it is hard not to bob your head while listening to that song. That very moment I turned around to notice Princess bobbing her head exsactly to the beat!!! Princess and Grunt where also our protecters. We would tie them on our car when we stopped for sleep at rest stops. We knew no one would even come near with them protecting us.
After a week traveling in the sweltering heat and humidity of July we finally got there. That's when Princess wolf really came out. She started hunting. I had to clean racoon and gopher guts up almost everyday. (go figure she'd eat the good parts and leave the nasty parts for me. lol) I did kinda felt bad but you can not tie up a wolf dog. They get mean if you do.
It wasn't long intill I discovered how bad of a decision moving was. You can not get anywhere there without a car. Only having one we could not both hold jobs at the same time. We were going though desprate poverty living almost completely off of charity. One day after unexpectedly staying at a friend house for the night I came home to find both of the dogs missing. I called for hours intill Grunt finally showed up. The first thing I noticed was the kicked dog look on his face. Princess was nowhere to be seen. I imeadiatly started crying calling her name. I knew something wasn't right. Princess and Grunt always stayed together. Besides Princess always came imeadiatly when I called. To this day I have no idea what happened. Judging from the look on Grunt I knew something terrible happend. The next day I began searching. I asked every nieghbor within a 15 mile radius if they had seen her. I only
clue I got is a woman that had seen both the dogs and tried to catch them. She had no luck though. I never saw Princess again. Now,however, I really think it happened for a reason. There is no way I would have ever given her up. She became a little mean once when I left her with a friend for a week there was no way she would be ok in a new home. My husband and I had to leave. We had no money no food and we gave our car away to pay rent so we had to travel by bus. (wich do not allow animals). Normally I would have never left. Since Princess was gone we gave Grunt to a no kill shelter and headed back to Idaho on a bus. We are doing alot better now we both have jobs and a good apartment.
To have an animal that loves you is a blessing in and of itself but having a animal that teaches you about yourself, protects you in all circumstances and then leaves you at the a time when you actually need it is a miracle. The last dream I had of her I was riding my bike with her. But instead of running next me like normal she was flying over me. I think she is still there flying above me to this day. I truely believe that she is my gaurdian angel. I love you Princess.
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Old 04-27-2005, 09:29 AM
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smkie smkie is offline
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People that have had an easy transition in childhood cannot possibly know what it is like to be "in the wind" with no protection and no one to fall back on. Dogs that are left like that too face all the same dangers..you and Princess had so much in common..17 is very young to face such mountains..and it sounds like just kept trying when others would have given it all up. I think special dogs are sent to us when we are most at need..those dogs are very special angels. Your tribute was beautifullly written, and full of honest heartfelt emotion. Not knowing what has happened is the worst feeling of all..i do hope that the angels are treating her with all she deserves. If i could picture in my mind all the dogs on rainbow bridge..Princess would be there in shining glory. and maybe just maybe someone is up there..reading your words of love to her.
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Old 05-12-2005, 06:44 PM
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lilly lilly is offline
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yes true.she is your guardian angel.if someone found herr,she would make a ghreat pet.but,im not sure any 1 would want her if she only wants you!
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Old 05-13-2005, 07:27 PM
poeluvr poeluvr is offline
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that story is beautifully touching
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Old 05-14-2005, 10:56 AM
Irish Irish is offline
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That story was beautiful and I really respect your honesty.
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Old 05-24-2005, 12:00 PM
IlUvMyAnImAlZ05 IlUvMyAnImAlZ05 is offline
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That is so SAD! DO you think your husband kicked her and she ran off? Or is your husband the one that woudl kick her and hit her? I hope shes ok. When did she dissapear?
She is your guardian angel!
Mandy~
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