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Old 05-01-2005, 08:33 AM
Fran27 Fran27 is offline
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Default My mom (rant)

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

My mom is visiting. She came yesterday. She's usually overcritical of everything I do, so of course the way we take care of our 5 months old golden retriever is one of them!

Of course, he's his usual self with guests, he tends to jump on them. Ok, a lot. When he's so excited, he barely listen to us, whereas he's usually pretty good about it. So here she goes saying that he is badly behaved, that we need to give him proper training, that we need to ignore him more so he doesn't think he is the center of the world etc.

It makes me so mad! It's my first dog and we are really doing good, it's just really hard to tell a 5 months old golden retriever that he's not supposed to jump on guests! And I'm never going to ignore him, he's my dog!

Anyone else got problems with friends/family members behaving this way?
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Old 05-01-2005, 08:51 AM
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Doberluv Doberluv is offline
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No. I actually get comments from people that my dogs are well mannered and that for having three dogs (was 4...just put one to sleep) they are nice to visit with.... because by 5 months of age, my big dogs, the latest, my Doberman were not jumping up on people or nipping or chewing on people. (the Chi's put their little feet up on people because it hasn't bothered me and I haven't trained them not to unless I specifically tell them, "off.") And how I taught Lyric and other dogs these manners was to ignore him when he did, to turn my back or step away....giving him no payoff for that behavior. When he would be on all fours or sitting, I'd praise him and/or give a treat. He'd get plenty of attention and love when his behavior was acceptable to me and the undesireable behavior was ignored primarily and in some cases given a firm, verbal command.

If a dog thinks he is the center of the world, he can become dangerous. He can become aggressive. Dogs, as much as we love them and treat them as our children, are still dogs and when you understand canine behavior and how they run their society, you can see why that happens.

Now, don't take that as critisism. This is your first dog and I'm sure you're doing well by loving him and caring for him so nicely. BUT, the sooner you get some basic manners in place (and 5 or 6 months should be ample time) the easier it will be. If you wait longer, this jumping up and generally not listening to you will become habit and will be harder to undo.

It helps to practice obedience skills every single day. This shows the dog that what you say is to be respected and that he'll get wonderful treats, praise and fun when he does. It is worth his while to comply. A dog must respect you and that does not come from harshness, but from discipline/education.

A Golden Retriever has a lot of energy and needs an outlet...lots of running around exercise and mental exercise. IE: obedience training. He needs a job. This will all help you to mold your dog into an animal who is a pleasure to have around. If you let it go, you'll probably have more people than your mother saying things like that.

(just trying to help)
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Old 05-01-2005, 10:55 AM
Fran27 Fran27 is offline
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I did obedience training, and as I said, he knows the basic commands, and he gets more training everyday. He does everything great, except around people, and we never encourage him when he is jumping on us. We *always* make him sit/stay/down/off when needed, and he has plenty of excercise.

And as I said, I will not ignore him, especially not when he's being good, as my mom asked me to. And by no means does it mean I treat him as if he's the center of the world!

And yes, your post made me angry. Because he's my first dog doesn't mean I didn't read a lot about them and that I am totally irresponsible. Have you had a golden retriever yourself? Then maybe you just don't know.

Last edited by Fran27; 05-01-2005 at 11:09 AM.
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Old 05-01-2005, 11:18 AM
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To me at five months old the dog should be doing a minimum of 30 minutes of obedience training a day. The jumping and puppy behavior can definitely controlled with strict obedience and lots of exercise. The old saying a tired dog isa good dog is definitely true. Golden's require a few hours of exercise a day at this age.

Good luck and remember, obedience training is never over.
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Old 05-01-2005, 01:57 PM
gaddylovesdogs gaddylovesdogs is offline
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I get comments on how well-behaved my dogs are, too, but some people just don't like dogs. Some smaller dog owners, when they see me with these large dogs, get scared, and go the other way.
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Old 05-01-2005, 04:27 PM
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Some dogs get terribly excited when company comes and it's difficult to train them without having some help to desensitize them to the experience. If you've got some good friends to help you can go a long way.

Try getting friends to come over. When they come in, as soon as your boy jumps on them, give him "Sit" or whatever you decide you want to use to stop him. When he doesn't stop and obey the command immediately, have them turn away from him and ignore him until he does what he's told. THEN they can pet him. Get them to do that several times over the course of an evening, leaving and standing somewhere out of sight for a few minutes, then coming back in. It will take a few sessions, but it should start sinking in pretty quickly, especially if you can get different people to help you so your dog isn't just desensitized to one or two people.

Shiva's two years old now and her brain still falls out when certain of her favorites come to see her naughty self. (Not really to see her, but in the Shiva Universe it's all about Shiva . . . )
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Old 05-01-2005, 04:59 PM
Saje Saje is offline
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I know what you mean Fran. Not with my dogs. I don't have a lot of people over. But my parents were quite concerned about us having Maverick in an apartment. I believe they called us cruel. I guess those llllooonnnggg walks each day weren't enough! Then they talked to some random people at the dog park and changed their mind. Go figure.

My mom also loves to rearrange my house when she comes. Always has and probalby always will. There's no telling her.
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Old 05-01-2005, 05:41 PM
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Fran you shouldn't be angry..the whole point of the forum is to gain different perspecitives to your thread..I had a terrible time when i first brought Victor home..and jumping was a realllllll biggy. .to tell the truth...he still shoots himself into my lap and i let him...but at least now it is just me and no one else. I know he needs his little boy hugs. My Mother wears support stockings because of her varicose veins. these stocking cost over a hundred dollars a pair..so it was imparitive that he learn NOT to jump on her or Hyia who is so short that jumping would have scratched her face if not knocking her down. HAving them ignore him did help..so did setting a fly swatter (a clean unused one) on my Mother's lap. He was never swatted with it, but anything close by was and that is a sound to be respected. I used the training tips that i received in dog training about clarifying the down command by teaching him the up command on a chair..all of it helped. I do obedience with him twice a day tho he is 17 months old now. If i hadn't he would be impossible to be around. He was so deprived of attention when i first got him that anything at all just made him all a dither..legs flying everywhere..literally hopping around like a gazelle.
My guy Jim had Garg as a puppy and taught him no manners..Garg was 50 lbs by the time he was five months old. He took him over to my old boss who by now was nearing his 90's. It is a danger to have a dog like that around people, especially one tha is that old for their skin tears so easily. I remember the last day my boss tried to work a dog. He was feeling better that day and just wanted to do a few retreives with a favorite dog. When he reached for the collar, the tongue to the buckle ripped the palm of his hand open and we spent the rest of the day in the er where he received more than 20 stitches. The older they get, the skin becomes like tissue paper.
I know what it is like when Mom comes..it is a joke between me and my mom (and i see her everyday) that i stopped her aging at 62 in my head..and she says she thinks of me as 13..i have to remind her on a regular basis that i am not. She will hand me her credit card and say now don't bend it, don't lose it, (even tho i do her shopping each week and have for the last 10 years without losing the card)....
Old boss says u can learn a new training technique from a novice as well as a pro..that to always keep your mind open and don't dismiss any suggestions until u have thought it out or given it a try. He said he learned as much about training from both ends of the spectrum.....Your dog will get older and calm down..working with retreivers both labs and goldens i can attest to one truth..they are just silly until they get about 2 yrs old then they simmer down to a fine and wonderful creature to have around..you need to socialize your pooch as much as possible, getting people to come over and being strict...if Victor could learn...any dog could. Good Luck!
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Old 05-01-2005, 06:33 PM
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i dont think you should be getting angry about a simple post either. you posted about your problems and people replied with advice.
in the past if i have had a dog that is jumpy or exciteable when either i come home or guests come home i go by the dog listeners book. it works every time and only takes 2 to 3 days to perfect. the basics are ignoring the dog when ou come in and telling all guests the same, it isnt as cruel as it sounds. once the dog has gone away and settled down you can call her/him to you, i did this with tam and for 3 days straight he got it, i felt bad and i hated doing it but after 3 days and he didnt jump or come rushing when i came home, he walked up to me and waited for his pat/kiss etc, that was 4 years ago and tam has never bounded on people ever since(unless asked to!)
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Old 05-01-2005, 09:13 PM
Fran27 Fran27 is offline
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I got angry at the first reply because her tone was assuming that I wasn't teaching my dog manners, when I have been ever since I got him. And she assumed that I was treating him like the center of the world, when I said that my *mom* thought I was, because oh my god, I appeared to pet him when he was lying down calmly at my feet!

Other than that, I'm always open for advice, and that's why I post. So yes, if someone has any advice to force a dog to listen to you when he's all winded up, I'm listening...
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